Am I really a shallow bitch?

[BeachGurl2]

Thank you RJ.

I didn't want to hijack Beachgurl's thread, but only wanted to show how people can get hurt (pretty badly) if the other person isn't totally honest about what they are looking for, and what they are attracted to.

I haven't really "moved on" from this, because we are roommates, and unfortunately, we need each other financially right now....... oh well.

Beachgurl, it sounds like you are being honest with him, and that he in turn is accepting of what you have to say. If nothing else, you will end up with a great friend!

Take care!

No worries, Sierra. I'm glad that you shared what you did. I would never have done what your 'friend' did to you. What I think and feel is out there for everyone to see, so it's not like I could have hidden it away anyway. We did talk, we're both okay with everything at this point. Seeing each other as friends first and we'll see where it goes. He really is a great guy and we have a good time together. And he's okay if we stay friends and never take it further than that.

We had a great time New Years Eve. Went to a dinner theatre, great meal and great company. Then to a party with friends. All in all, a very fun night, especially since there's no pressure there beyond just hanging out and having fun.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Everybody tries to knock anyone else that say physical apperance shouldn't matter. That's BS. If he isn't sexy looking for you, let go of him. Otherwise it will hamper the relationship and both of you will get hurt.

So true. And this is often the problem (Ive had) with online dating. You only get to see the pics they want to show you. I've had loads of men send me pics 5 and 10 years old - cos they had hair in those. Or cos they had a nice six pack way back when. Or cos they were 50 pounds thinner.

Personally, I feel its a flat out LIE to send pics like this to someone. Its false advertising. Im not saying BG2's guy did this - Im more talking about the ones Ive encountered myself.

Let him know too. Be honest but be tactful.

And yet, no matter how much of a lie I think it is, I also feel shallow/bitchy/whatever when I finally have to tell them Im not into them. Sadly, I puss out and just tell them they arent dominant enough - fortunately, its usually true, and seems more easily accepted by them.

No, its not the primary reason, but in the end, the dominance would be an issue anyway so thats my story and I stick to it. Its rare Im not 100% upfront, but in these cases it just seems like unnecessary unkindness to do anything else.

Though, if they'd been honest at the start it never would have gotten to that point!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... Personally, I feel its a flat out LIE to send pics like this to someone. Its false advertising. Im not saying BG2's guy did this - Im more talking about the ones Ive encountered myself.

... Though, if they'd been honest at the start it never would have gotten to that point!

*grins impishly*

Which is why my av is me, the pic was taken in August of '06, and I'm pretty much the same except I now have a rather large (8") scar down the middle of my chest from the heart surgery I had about 2 weeks after the photo was taken.

 

[SierraMoon]

No worries, Sierra. I'm glad that you shared what you did. I would never have done what your 'friend' did to you. What I think and feel is out there for everyone to see, so it's not like I could have hidden it away anyway. We did talk, we're both okay with everything at this point. Seeing each other as friends first and we'll see where it goes. He really is a great guy and we have a good time together. And he's okay if we stay friends and never take it further than that.

We had a great time New Years Eve. Went to a dinner theatre, great meal and great company. Then to a party with friends. All in all, a very fun night, especially since there's no pressure there beyond just hanging out and having fun.

That's awesome BeachGurl!

He and I have remained excellent friends, but it's a little upsetting that there were 2 different expectations from day one.....

 

[SierraMoon]

Well I will take the opportunity then to wish you change in the coming new year where financhialy you will be able to change the situation, and that also that you on a personal level take back things of yourself that where given under the guise of decpetion.

You had the power to give it, and you also have the power to take it back, I wish that you find the desire to do so and the self-confidence to make it a personal reality.

Thank you RJ!

I wish you a Happy 2007!!!

 

[BeachGurl2]

I give up. How do people expect to meet someone and click with them when they hedge about what they look like? And as a submissive, how can you ever learn to trust a 'dom' who has fudged about his looks/weight? Ugh! I'm so frustrated right now.

I should mention that this is not about the person I originally started this thread about. He and I remain friends and have been hanging out as friends. I know that he would like for things to move in a more intimate direction, but he also is okay with the friends thing. We have a great time hanging out together, and he tells me that he is glad that we've been able to become friends.

The pictures that I have posted on my online profile are similar to the ones I have here as my av and my profile pic. They have been taken within the last year, and my weight has not changed one bit since they were taken - outside of the 3-5 pounds that most normal women fluctuate within a given month. I am between a size 8 and 10 - depending on that 3-5 pounds. I consider that 'average' in body type. No, I'm not model thin. I never will be even if I lose that 10-15 pounds I'd like to lose because I am naturally curvy. The face picture I share after exchanging a few emails is the same one I posted here a couple of weeks ago and it was taken within the last month. I believe that my pictures are an honest representation of what I look like.

Why can't guys be as honest about their looks and size? Telling me that you have a 'few' extra pounds around the middle is not honest if you can't see your feet (or other body parts located south of your stomach). And you know the really insulting part of all this? The fact that they always ask ME if MY pictures are accurate! Ugh! I just give up.

It's not like I'm looking for some hot guy with washboard abs and bulging biceps. I'm not, although I probably wouldn't turn down a date with him if he had those attributes. I just want someone who truly is height/weight proportionate. I don't want to date someone so used to dating physically unattractive women that he literally salivates over me in a crowded bar, and then refuses to leave my side because he thinks someone might try to pick me up while he's gone. I'm no beauty queen so I can tell the kinds of women you usually date if you do that while on a date with me. I am physically average from the top of my head all the way down to my toes.

Okay, sorry for the venting. But I am completely and totally discouraged about the whole online dating thing. I did meet someone who was honest in his description/photos, but he is only looking for a sometime play partner. I may just take him up on that since I can't seem to find someone to actually date - even though that goes against what I'm looking for right now. I have 2 more men to meet in the next couple of weeks. If these two in the same realm as the others, I will definitely throw in the towel and give it up.

 

[BeachGurl2]

So true. And this is often the problem (Ive had) with online dating. You only get to see the pics they want to show you. I've had loads of men send me pics 5 and 10 years old - cos they had hair in those. Or cos they had a nice six pack way back when. Or cos they were 50 pounds thinner.

Personally, I feel its a flat out LIE to send pics like this to someone. Its false advertising. Im not saying BG2's guy did this - Im more talking about the ones Ive encountered myself.



And yet, no matter how much of a lie I think it is, I also feel shallow/bitchy/whatever when I finally have to tell them Im not into them. Sadly, I puss out and just tell them they arent dominant enough - fortunately, its usually true, and seems more easily accepted by them.

No, its not the primary reason, but in the end, the dominance would be an issue anyway so thats my story and I stick to it. Its rare Im not 100% upfront, but in these cases it just seems like unnecessary unkindness to do anything else.

Though, if they'd been honest at the start it never would have gotten to that point!

That last statement is so very true. And so I'm beginning to feel that it's not my own fault that things didn't work out - if they had been honest up front, they wouldn't be getting hurt now. But I've discovered that many of the men I've talked with online feel that it's worth the chance that maybe their size won't affect things if the girl likes them enough. For me, it isn't about liking them enough. It's about the difference between being sexually attracted to them or not. And through all of this, I've discovered that I'm just not going to be sexually attracted to someone who is not height/weight proportionate. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If these two in the same realm as the others, I will definitely throw in the towel and give it up.

Don't give up!!!! It isn't easy, and the saying 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince' sort of rings true here. http://www.fullsmilies.com/q/Smiley/asik/love0068.gif If you give up the only person missing out is you (and perhaps that special person out there somewhere)...if you settle for less than you want as in the guy who only wants a play partner, while it could miraculously change into more, the odds are probably against it and while you are spending time whith him, that right person might pass by unnoticed. Hang in there and believe in your right to have someone special as well as keep being proactive about it and sooner or later it is likely to happen.http://www.fullsmilies.com/q/Smiley/for-girls/13765.gif

Catalinahttp://www.fullsmilies.com/q/Smiley/for-girls/23c2abbd.gif

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I give up. How do people expect to meet someone and click with them when they hedge about what they look like? And as a submissive, how can you ever learn to trust a 'dom' who has fudged about his looks/weight? Ugh! I'm so frustrated right now.

I should mention that this is not about the person I originally started this thread about. He and I remain friends and have been hanging out as friends. I know that he would like for things to move in a more intimate direction, but he also is okay with the friends thing. We have a great time hanging out together, and he tells me that he is glad that we've been able to become friends.

The pictures that I have posted on my online profile are similar to the ones I have here as my av and my profile pic. They have been taken within the last year, and my weight has not changed one bit since they were taken - outside of the 3-5 pounds that most normal women fluctuate within a given month. I am between a size 8 and 10 - depending on that 3-5 pounds. I consider that 'average' in body type. No, I'm not model thin. I never will be even if I lose that 10-15 pounds I'd like to lose because I am naturally curvy. The face picture I share after exchanging a few emails is the same one I posted here a couple of weeks ago and it was taken within the last month. I believe that my pictures are an honest representation of what I look like.

Why can't guys be as honest about their looks and size? Telling me that you have a 'few' extra pounds around the middle is not honest if you can't see your feet (or other body parts located south of your stomach). And you know the really insulting part of all this? The fact that they always ask ME if MY pictures are accurate! Ugh! I just give up.

It's not like I'm looking for some hot guy with washboard abs and bulging biceps. I'm not, although I probably wouldn't turn down a date with him if he had those attributes. I just want someone who truly is height/weight proportionate. I don't want to date someone so used to dating physically unattractive women that he literally salivates over me in a crowded bar, and then refuses to leave my side because he thinks someone might try to pick me up while he's gone. I'm no beauty queen so I can tell the kinds of women you usually date if you do that while on a date with me. I am physically average from the top of my head all the way down to my toes.

Okay, sorry for the venting. But I am completely and totally discouraged about the whole online dating thing. I did meet someone who was honest in his description/photos, but he is only looking for a sometime play partner. I may just take him up on that since I can't seem to find someone to actually date - even though that goes against what I'm looking for right now. I have 2 more men to meet in the next couple of weeks. If these two in the same realm as the others, I will definitely throw in the towel and give it up.

i understand most of what you said here, but one part of it made me re-read it more than once...the part about 'being used to dating unattractive women' were you saying because of their size you believe this is the case? at any rate, i do hope you find that 'someone' and i wouldn't give up so easily, i realize it's hard to keep going trying to find 'the one' when there are so many who are not, but it's not going to happen over night, but if you give up on it all together, you may very well be letting 'the one' slip right by you, to the next girl....good luck....

 

[BeachGurl2]

i understand most of what you said here, but one part of it made me re-read it more than once...the part about 'being used to dating unattractive women' were you saying because of their size you believe this is the case? at any rate, i do hope you find that 'someone' and i wouldn't give up so easily, i realize it's hard to keep going trying to find 'the one' when there are so many who are not, but it's not going to happen over night, but if you give up on it all together, you may very well be letting 'the one' slip right by you, to the next girl....good luck....

Actually, I didn't mean anything specific by it about why or how they may be unattractive. What I meant was something much more generic - that in his eyes the women he had been dating weren't as physically attractive to him (or maybe to others) whatever the cause of that may be. And that for some reason I was. Since I know what I look like - both with clothes and without - I find it less than attractive to feel that he would view me as some sort of trophy. It implies to me that he thinks less of the women he's dated before me. And I find that disgusting. Why would you be less proud to be seen with one person than another if you like them enough to date them? That was the feeling I got - that he wasn't very proud of previous dates, but was willing to 'show me off' to his regular crowd as some sort of prize. Does that make sense?

 

[BeachGurl2]

Don't give up!!!! It isn't easy, and the saying 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince' sort of rings true here. If you give up the only person missing out is you (and perhaps that special person out there somewhere)...if you settle for less than you want as in the guy who only wants a play partner, while it could miraculously change into more, the odds are probably against it and while you are spending time whith him, that right person might pass by unnoticed. Hang in there and believe in your right to have someone special as well as keep being proactive about it and sooner or later it is likely to happen.http://www.fullsmilies.com/q/Smiley/for-girls/13765.gif

Catalinahttp://www.fullsmilies.com/q/Smiley/for-girls/23c2abbd.gif

You know, I don't think I truly mean to give up totally on dating. What I'll probably do is disable my profile for awhile, sit back and take stock again, and then think about how to get back out there. It's the online dating that is so frustrating. Maybe what I need to do is figure out a way to get more active locally so that I can meet more people outside of work. But I'm a single mom, working 10 hour days because of my commute, and have very little time to socialize in that way. That's why I turned to the online dating thing to begin with. But it's become such a disappointment that I probably should take a step back again. Ugh!

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Actually, I didn't mean anything specific by it about why or how they may be unattractive. What I meant was something much more generic - that in his eyes the women he had been dating weren't as physically attractive to him (or maybe to others) whatever the cause of that may be. And that for some reason I was. Since I know what I look like - both with clothes and without - I find it less than attractive to feel that he would view me as some sort of trophy. It implies to me that he thinks less of the women he's dated before me. And I find that disgusting. Why would you be less proud to be seen with one person than another if you like them enough to date them? That was the feeling I got - that he wasn't very proud of previous dates, but was willing to 'show me off' to his regular crowd as some sort of prize. Does that make sense?

makes perfect sense, thanks for clarifying and again, sorry you're having a hard time finding someone to be with, but i do believe there is someone for everyone out there, and we just have to keep lookin till we find them....again,good luck!

 

[catalina_francisco]

But I'm a single mom, working 10 hour days because of my commute, and have very little time to socialize in that way. That's why I turned to the online dating thing to begin with. But it's become such a disappointment that I probably should take a step back again. Ugh!

That's exactly why I turned to online methods as well. It was the only option as I didn't have cash to spare on socialising, didn't have babysitters, and didn't have enough energy left at the end of the day to do anything but kick off the shoes and relax.

Catalina http://www.fullsmilies.com/q/Smiley/for-girls/2375.gif

 

[DVS]

I give up. How do people expect to meet someone and click with them when they hedge about what they look like? And as a submissive, how can you ever learn to trust a 'dom' who has fudged about his looks/weight? Ugh! I'm so frustrated right now.

I should mention that this is not about the person I originally started this thread about. He and I remain friends and have been hanging out as friends. I know that he would like for things to move in a more intimate direction, but he also is okay with the friends thing. We have a great time hanging out together, and he tells me that he is glad that we've been able to become friends.

The pictures that I have posted on my online profile are similar to the ones I have here as my av and my profile pic. They have been taken within the last year, and my weight has not changed one bit since they were taken - outside of the 3-5 pounds that most normal women fluctuate within a given month. I am between a size 8 and 10 - depending on that 3-5 pounds. I consider that 'average' in body type. No, I'm not model thin. I never will be even if I lose that 10-15 pounds I'd like to lose because I am naturally curvy. The face picture I share after exchanging a few emails is the same one I posted here a couple of weeks ago and it was taken within the last month. I believe that my pictures are an honest representation of what I look like.

Why can't guys be as honest about their looks and size? Telling me that you have a 'few' extra pounds around the middle is not honest if you can't see your feet (or other body parts located south of your stomach). And you know the really insulting part of all this? The fact that they always ask ME if MY pictures are accurate! Ugh! I just give up.

It's not like I'm looking for some hot guy with washboard abs and bulging biceps. I'm not, although I probably wouldn't turn down a date with him if he had those attributes. I just want someone who truly is height/weight proportionate. I don't want to date someone so used to dating physically unattractive women that he literally salivates over me in a crowded bar, and then refuses to leave my side because he thinks someone might try to pick me up while he's gone. I'm no beauty queen so I can tell the kinds of women you usually date if you do that while on a date with me. I am physically average from the top of my head all the way down to my toes.

Okay, sorry for the venting. But I am completely and totally discouraged about the whole online dating thing. I did meet someone who was honest in his description/photos, but he is only looking for a sometime play partner. I may just take him up on that since I can't seem to find someone to actually date - even though that goes against what I'm looking for right now. I have 2 more men to meet in the next couple of weeks. If these two in the same realm as the others, I will definitely throw in the towel and give it up.

Now, there's no need to throw in the towel. It's not that bad. You could be like me and not get any nibbles at all, except a few who wanted to complain about something they thought I was lying about. The trouble is I'm always painfully honest, because I know they are going to check everything out. So when they don't believe something, what can I do?

The fact is, I don't want those women. If they don't believe me from the get go, they can just get going (cute play on words there, huh? ). I don't want someone who's not going to trust me. If they wrongfully lump me into the group of lying slobs, oh well. And, you gotta look at it that if they are not trusting me in the beginning, what are they going to be like, down the road?

As far as the weight thing, I too like someone who's height and weight proportionate. It states that in my profile. I'm not picky about many things, but that is one of them (another is they must enjoy anal sex while bound. But is that too much to ask for? ).

If I ever get to the point of exchanging pictures, I'll want a recent picture. Again, I"m not asking for too much, I don't think. And, if they give me one that turns out to be a fake, what's the purpose in that? It only delays the ineveitable. And it's not only that they have given me a fake picture, but the fact that they lied. That means more to me, in the long run.

I've been searching for over three years now, with no luck. I send messages out and I don't get anything back. I don't even get something back that says "thanks, but no thanks". Even one that says "fuck off, ass hole" would at least tell me they got the message. I always enclose my picture. Maybe that's my problem. LOL.

But, it all boils down to being the right person, looking for the right person at the right time. Just like a lot of life, luck is always a very big part of it. That, and the stupid women who are looking for "Mr. Perfect Dom" and don't want anything else.

Sorry, ladies, but perfection is very unlikely and it all comes down to a give and take negociation. Sure, you can try to find him, but if you are looking for your Mr. Perfect Dom" and I'm looking for my "Miss Perfect Sub", do you think we are ever going to connect? Not likely.

 

[BeachGurl2]

But, it all boils down to being the right person, looking for the right person at the right time. Just like a lot of life, luck is always a very big part of it. That, and the stupid women who are looking for "Mr. Perfect Dom" and don't want anything else.

Sorry, ladies, but perfection is very unlikely and it all comes down to a give and take negociation. Sure, you can try to find him, but if you are looking for your Mr. Perfect Dom" and I'm looking for my "Miss Perfect Sub", do you think we are ever going to connect? Not likely.

Hmmmm. I don't think I'm looking for perfection. I'm looking for specific qualities that are necessary for me to be happy - strength of character, integrity, honesty, intelligence, mental and physical health and yes, height/weight proportionate is necessary. And yes, throw physical chemistry into the pot, because quite frankly, how can you have a relationship with someone you don't feel that chemistry for? How can I submit to someone who is lacking a quality that I find important? I'm not talking perfection, I'm talking someone with whom I can build a relationship. And the bottom line is that if they are going to hedge or lie outright about how they look, then what else are they going to lie about?

When I think of someone as dominant, I think of someone who is in control of himself. Who has principles he will stand up for. Who has confidence in himself and his abilities. Someone who knows himself well - both his strengths and his weaknesses. Maybe that is unattainable because he just doesn't exist. Or if he does exist, with my luck, he's already taken. Oh well.

 

[DVS]

Hmmmm. I don't think I'm looking for perfection. I'm looking for specific qualities that are necessary for me to be happy - strength of character, integrity, honesty, intelligence, mental and physical health and yes, height/weight proportionate is necessary. And yes, throw physical chemistry into the pot, because quite frankly, how can you have a relationship with someone you don't feel that chemistry for? How can I submit to someone who is lacking a quality that I find important? I'm not talking perfection, I'm talking someone with whom I can build a relationship. And the bottom line is that if they are going to hedge or lie outright about how they look, then what else are they going to lie about?

When I think of someone as dominant, I think of someone who is in control of himself. Who has principles he will stand up for. Who has confidence in himself and his abilities. Someone who knows himself well - both his strengths and his weaknesses. Maybe that is unattainable because he just doesn't exist. Or if he does exist, with my luck, he's already taken. Oh well.

I didn't mean to imply that you were looking for perfection, but there are some who are. The perfection comment was just a generalization for those women.

And, you must have some preferences, because you are going to be spending a lot of time with this person. Not just anybody will do.

And, when you mentioned your "confidence in himself" statement, that struck a nerve. I’m confident and secure in my own skin, and say so. I know what I like and what I don't like, etc. But, I get the idea some see that as arrogance. There's just no pleasing some people, you know?

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Just in case any of the folks who met me at 1763 poke their heads in here, can I get an "Amen" on "Geoff looks like his av pic!" ? ? ?

 

[BeachGurl2]

I didn't mean to imply that you were looking for perfection, but there are some who are. The perfection comment was just a generalization for those women.

And, you must have some preferences, because you are going to be spending a lot of time with this person. Not just anybody will do.

And, when you mentioned your "confidence in himself" statement, that struck a nerve. I’m confident and secure in my own skin, and say so. I know what I like and what I don't like, etc. But, I get the idea some see that as arrogance. There's just no pleasing some people, you know?

Personally, I think there's a difference between confidence and arrogance. I think there are a lot of people who don't really know the difference between the two, which is probably why you get that response. I personally think confident men are very sexy. I think arrogant men are assholes. But I can tell the difference between the two, for the most part.

Just in case any of the folks who met me at 1763 poke their heads in here, can I get an "Amen" on "Geoff looks like his av pic!" ? ? ?

I have no doubt whatsoever that is truly you in your av. But I've come to learn that you are a very open, honest person. Unfortunately, too many of the men I've met in the online dating scene aren't. Too bad there aren't more men out there like you and DVS, Sir Geoff.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I have no doubt whatsoever that is truly you in your av. But I've come to learn that you are a very open, honest person. Unfortunately, too many of the men I've met in the online dating scene aren't. Too bad there aren't more men out there like you and DVS, Sir Geoff.

Ahhhh BG, you'r making me ! ! ! Thank you!

 

[DVS]

Personally, I think there's a difference between confidence and arrogance. I think there are a lot of people who don't really know the difference between the two, which is probably why you get that response. I personally think confident men are very sexy. I think arrogant men are assholes. But I can tell the difference between the two, for the most part.



I have no doubt whatsoever that is truly you in your av. But I've come to learn that you are a very open, honest person. Unfortunately, too many of the men I've met in the online dating scene aren't. Too bad there aren't more men out there like you and DVS, Sir Geoff.

Oh, that's me in my AV, too. Didn't you know? It's just an older picture. I have more hair, now.

 

[nowgirl]

i just happened on this thread... oh beachgurl!! i'd hand you a dirty martinin if i could so we could cry into our drinks about online dating... the horror!

i started reading your thread because i had a very similar experience on alt.com. after wading through the zillions of "let's fuck for lunch" replies - i finally met someone i really clicked with online. we met for breakfast to see if the attraction continued in real life. i knew he was a big guy from his picture... and that wasn't even an issue. he was funny, smart, said all the right dominant things and in some ways seemed really gentle. but when we met, he was much MUCH larger than his picture. and his hair had grown several inches and now had a beard... like a wild mountain man beard. although i was not super attracted to his looks, since everything else clicked, i tried.

i met him a second time for lunch and i swear - talk about shallow. the reason i decided not to continue? he ate with his mouth open and it kinda grossed me out. but i really think that it was his size that put me off & i found a stupid reason at that exact moment to tell myself i couldn't take the next step. i'm not really sure if i had known about this up front what would have happened... but it was a surprise.

it's nice to hear you're still hanging out with the original man in question. and as to the other online dishonest "boys" - well... sadly, it's just part of the dating experience, isn't it??? someone used the "you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince" - at this point, i'd settle for an honest frog.

good luck beachgurl!!

 

[FurryFury]

Just in case any of the folks who met me at 1763 poke their heads in here, can I get an "Amen" on "Geoff looks like his av pic!" ? ? ?

Well, you do look your av pic, yes. Of course you were wearing more clothes, so that wasn't right. The lighting was lower but yeah, that's you!



Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Well, you do look your av pic, yes. Of course you were wearing more clothes, so that wasn't right. The lighting was lower but yeah, that's you!



Fury

*grins*

What you see is what you get!

 

[marieR19]

I feel the need to respond to this, if only to share my experience.

Appearance is not all that important to me, and I never thought that I would be the one in a relationship to be uncomfortable with the other person's weight. I'm heavy, and I actually feel more uncomfortable around really skinny people (self-esteem issues)... So it came as a really uncomfortable eye-opener when I realized that the reason I'd been hedging around sex with my gf (now ex) was because of her extra weight. It honestly shamed me to no end that it would bother me that much, because she's helped me so much with my weight/self-image issues that I felt so guilty for looking at her that way.

But it actually all worked out okay... when it finally came down to it, it turned out that it wasn't an issue at all, I was so wrapped up in the sexual and intimate stuff that I didn't even think about the weight stuff. So yeah, I was worrying for nothing, really.

And about honesty in profiles... I make no false claims about my looks, but I also don't pointedly advertise certain things. Like, I'll say "a little overweight", and then if/when I feel comfortable enough talking to a certain person I'll tell them just how much. I actually don't own a "sexy" picture of myself, so I just use the most recent picture at the time, and right now that happens to be a "new haircut" pic with a ratty t-shirt. I hate people who only want someone for their looks, so I deliberately make sure that people know that I'm not model-pretty.


Heather