ANDTHEEND's Highlighted Stories

[andtheend]

The Fountain by mediumpimpin54

Here's, yet, another new story by, yet, another new writer. This one is in the BDSM category, The Fountain by mediumpimpin54. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=477557

Now I must admit that I'm not into BDSM, but there was something about this story that interested me. Maybe the way it was written and the perception of it coming from Melissa's viewpoint.

What I didn't like about it was there was too much black space. I would have preferred smaller paragraphs that would have given me a break from reading. Perhaps, had the author inserted dialogue or spaced out Melissa's interior monologue. Nonetheless, it was an interesting, albeit very short story.

This write shows how much can be done with not a lot of words. Good job on this story. I recommend it those those who find BDSM exciting.

I hope my spotlight of attention will garner you higher votes and more feedback.

 

[scouries]

QUOTE shestheend Unfortunately, I'm dying. There is no cure. I was give 6 months to live a month ago.

Does this mean you're not going to enter 15 stories in the NUDE DAY CONTEST?

PTL!

http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/04/22/alg_pope-benedict.jpg


http://www.definingmoment.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/priest-abuse.gif​

jrs

 

[FatherHolyGhost]

Not all priests are child molesters, just as not all those who pretend they can write, can write. If the shoe fits, Mr. Scouries, I suggest you walk a mile in my shoes.

Now, if you are Catholic, shame on you and say 10 Hail Marys for disrespecting the Holy Father.

If you are not Catholic, shame on your for disrespecting someone else's religion.

 

[SisterGoodieTwoShoes]

Not all priests are child molesters, just as not all those who pretend they can write, can write. If the shoe fits, Mr. Scouries, I suggest you walk a mile in my shoes.

Now, if you are Catholic, shame on you and say 10 Hail Marys for disrespecting the Holy Father.

If you are not Catholic, shame on your for disrespecting someone else's religion.

"Good morning, Father."

 

[FatherHolyGhost]

"Good morning, Father."

"Hellooo Sister."

 

[HornyDevilSatan]

QUOTE shestheend Unfortunately, I'm dying. There is no cure. I was give 6 months to live a month ago.

Does this mean you're not going to enter 15 stories in the NUDE DAY CONTEST?

PTL!

http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/04/22/alg_pope-benedict.jpg


http://www.definingmoment.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/priest-abuse.gif​

jrs

"What's he doing here?"

 

[michchick98]

"Good morning, Father."

"Hellooo Sister."

A priest and a nun, on a porn site. Who'da thunk it?

Sorry, FatherHolyGhost, there's no kiddies here. Move on.

Take your sister with you.

 

[HornyDevilSatan]

A priest and a nun, on a porn site. Who'da thunk it?

Sorry, FatherHolyGhost, there's no kiddies here. Move on.

Take your sister with you.

My sentiments exactly.

With the mean and nasty bitch that you are, I like you, Michchick98. Let's be friends.

I have plans for your soul, later, but for now, let's have some fun.

 

[TxRad]

Oh goodie, more Alts.

 

[Darkniciad]

Just ditch the asides and stick to the original premise of the thread, which has merit and value, regardless of the antics/motives.

 

[scouries]

http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/nuns_nude.jpg​

 

[michchick98]

My sentiments exactly.

With the mean and nasty bitch that you are, I like you, Michchick98. Let's be friends.

I have plans for your soul, later, but for now, let's have some fun.

Give it a rest, Freddie. I agree with DK. If you want to keep this thread on topic as andtheend, then do it. It's a good idea. Just stop with the drama and all the rest of the idiotic alts.

 

[andtheend]

Humiliating My Wife by a_random_user

This story posted near the end of the new story list today under the fetish category. See link below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=463593

The title is what attracted me. Definitely, it would have garnered more reads had it been posted under our "beloved" Loving Wives category.

What was bad, very bad, about this story was that it was too short. If anything it was nothing more than a tease. As soon as the writer wrote one scenario of humiliation, he was off to the next humiliating thing. It's sad that he didn't take the time to develop his wive's character, as it would have made for a much more interesting story to feel what she was feeling, while she was being humiliated.

If the writer wanted to stay with his point of view, then he should have showed us how he felt, when humiliating his wife, instead of just telling us in broad strokes, before abandoning that bare image to write the next.

The story hit all the cylinders of humiliation, but revved up by what he wrote, he turned off our engines too soon.

Perhaps, this writer will write a sequel to this.

Good luck with your story. I hope this spotlight of attention will garner you higher votes and more feedback.

 

[andtheend]

Truck Driver's Lucky Day by dearhusband

This story posted in the fetish category and appeared toward the bottom of today's new stories. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=477869

Well, for all you guys who love winter sports, here's a story about snowballing.

I wondered why this story posted in the fetish category, until I read the end.

Although, I'm not into snowballing, I recommend the story. Other than giving us a brief description of her, I wish he had developed his wife's character more. I would have enjoyed the story more, if I could picture her.

This story would have boded well with some dialogue. Definitely, it would have been better if it was longer.

Nonetheless, it's a decent story by a decent writer and I recommend it.

Good luck with your story, dearhusband. I hope this spotlight of attention will give you a higher score and more feedback.

 

[andtheend]

The Late Shift by LynnGKS

Here's a story that postedin the NonConsent/Reluctance category today at the end of the new story section. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478018

For those of you who enjoy a rape scene with two men, this story is for you. I recommend it. It's a decent story by a decent writer.

There's a good amount of dialogue to break up some of the narrative, whichi is always good. Only, as with many of the other stories that I've highlighted, I have the same complaints with this story.

It's too short. Just as you're getting into the story it's over. The rape/sex scenes could have been longer. To build the tension and to make readers think that she may have a chance of getting away, she could have struggled harder.

The characters, especially the two men had zero character development. This is important, especially in a story like this. Other than a brief description of the woman in the beginning, there was little about her character development, too.

I apologize for being critical of this story, yet, hopefully, you'll keep my suggestions about writing a longer story and developing your characters more with your next story.

Good luck with your story. I hope my spotlight of attention garners you higher votes and more feedback.

 

[andtheend]

One Hundred Passwords by FetishGoddess

Here's a story by a new writer that posted today in the Mind Control category. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=477993

Now this is one writer that I don't want to get on her bad side. She appears to know much about computers and could probably unleash a virus on my computer, if I don't give her story a good highlighting.

Nonetheless, the story was a bit weird, disjointed, and a little difficult to follor. Mainly because of my common complaint with this story that I have with nearly every other story I've highlighted.

Character development. Yes, we know you can see the character in your head, as you are writing your story, but we, the reader, cannot, unless you give us, show us the information we need to see your character.

This character was as flat as the page and because of that, I didn't care about the character. C'mon, how can you care about someone you don't know. Yet, the writer spent a considerable amount of time and words trying to develop tension, but it failed.

Had she spent a bit more time on her character, making him three dimensional, to give the reader an image, her story would have been much beter.

Yet, for those who like Mind Control stories, you may like this one.

Good luck with your story, FetishGoddess. I hope my spotlight of attention will give you more reads, higher votes, and more comments.

 

[dearhusband]

Enjoyed reading the comment. I'm kind of new at this so it's cool to have the feedback!I'll definitely take the advice!! Thanks

 

[andtheend]

Enjoyed reading the comment. I'm kind of new at this so it's cool to have the feedback!I'll definitely take the advice!! Thanks

We all are here for the same reasons. We love to read and write. Who are we if we can't help one another?

Wait, don't go away. Just sign right here.

Pardon? What is it?

It's a contact that states for highlighting your story, you will vote on my upcoming story that I plan on submitting to the Nude Day Contest.

Yes, thank you for signing the contract. By the way, I'll have 10 stories posting to the contest. I hope that I can count on your support. If I discover that you didn't vote 5 for all ten of my stories, I can have you removed from Literotica. I know people.

Did you see the photo of the Pope above? Yeah, he's a close personal friend of mine, if you know what I mean. You don't want to be double crossing someone who has the Holy Pontiff as a close personal friend.

Thank you in advance for your ten 5 votes on my Nude Day stories.

"See that, Scouries? I have a signed contract!"

 

[TxRad]

We all are here for the same reasons. We love to read and write. Who are we if we can't help one another?

Wait, don't go away. Just sign right here.

Pardon? What is it?

It's a contact that states for highlighting your story, you will vote on my upcoming story that I plan on submitting to the Nude Day Contest.

Yes, thank you for signing the contract. By the way, I'll have 10 stories posting to the contest. I hope that I can count on your support. If I discover that you didn't vote 5 for all ten of my stories, I can have you removed from Literotica. I know people.

Did you see the photo of the Pope above? Yeah, he's a close personal friend of mine, if you know what I mean. You don't want to be double crossing someone who has the Holy Pontiff as a close personal friend.

Thank you in advance for your ten 5 votes on my Nude Day stories.

"See that, Scouries? I have a signed contract!"

Behave Freddie, that's no way to treat newbies.

Anyway, that's extortion and if memory serves, Big Louie has the contract for Boston. I'd hate for you to wind up with a pair of concrete overshoes for cutting someone's turf.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Behave Freddie, that's no way to treat newbies.

Anyway, that's extortion and if memory serves, Big Louie has the contract for Boston. I'd hate for you to wind up with a pair of concrete overshoes for cutting someone's turf.

Actually, if you recall, Big Louie works for me.

Besides, you should address your comments to Susan, the writer of the thread and not me. Also, reading what she wrote, she was joking.

Get a life. Get a sense of humor. And get back to AH Land where you belong. You're trespassing here.

"Big Louie. Throw this bum out and make sure he doesn't return. If he returns break his legs.

Happy now?

 

[TxRad]

Actually, if you recall, Big Louie works for me.

Besides, you should address your comments to Susan, the writer of the thread and not me. Also, reading what she wrote, she was joking.

Get a life. Get a sense of humor. And get back to AH Land where you belong. You're trespassing here.

"Big Louie. Throw this bum out and make sure he doesn't return. If he returns break his legs.

Happy now?

Sure Freddie, sure. Funny thing is, you and "Susan" have the same drool sense of humor. Kinda like scouries and Sarahhhh having the same type paranoia.

And I'm the one that needs to get a life.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Cindy Gets a Grip by Bakeboss

My intention for this thread is to highlight stories. Yet, sometimes, there are stories from writers that are so horrible that I cannot highlight them. I have a responsibility to the readers of this site to highlight stories and not shit.

Below is the link to a shitty story written by one of the more prolific writers, and I use writer loosely.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478001

Obviously, the story is written just to score a point in the Survivor Contest. With stories such as this, I wish Literotica would abolish the Survivor Contest, so as to stop writers, and again, I use that word loosely, from writing shitty stories as the one above.

The story is a bit more than 800 words. There is absolutely no character development. Why anyone would want to read this piece of shit is beyond me. This story is an insult to not only all the writers who work so hard to write their stories but also to all the readers to this site.

I'm ashamed of you, Bakeboss. How can you sleep at night, posting a piece of shit like this.

For someone who has written so many stories, you'd think your writing would improve instead of worsen.

Nonetheless, this story is a good example on how not to write a story. This story could have been written by a 4th grader. And this story is from a teacher who teachers our children how to write. I feel bad for her students.

Don't be fooled by the name Bakeboss. The only thing this person bakes is half-baked stories and lunches at the school where she claims to be a teacher but really is a lunch mother.

Good job Bakeboss. I can't wait to read your next story.

I'm sure we are all very proud of you for winning the 2010 Survivor Contest. You must really need that $500 bad to post this shit. I'm embarrassed for you.

Please, you've written enough stories to win the contest. Please stop writing. I'll even give you $500 to stop writing these shitty little stories. They are terrible.

Good luck with your bad self, Bakeboss. I truly hope this spotlight of attention will give you the scores that you truly deserve for this amazing story. Please, everyone, show Bakeboss your outrage by showing her what you think of her story.

 

[sr71plt]

Guess you forgot you were supposed to post this under one of your alts, Freddie.

Here's a posting to be preserved for the next time you claim you don't have any alts.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Mine by MistressKimmie

Here's a new story from a new writer that posted to the Anal category today. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=477122

Actually, the way that this story was written, I'm surprise that it wasn't posted in the BDSM category. Nonetheless, it is an anal type of BDSM, so it intersects both categories.

I have the same complaints with this story as I have had with so many other stories, character development.

Without developing characters, it is difficult to involve the reader. We don't care about your characters, dear writer, if we cannot see them, imagine them. Yet, you do not even give us a description of either of your characters.

And with this being such a character driven story, a story that you wasted so much time building up tension and suspense, it was all lost when you failed to develop your characters.

Yet, there are those who will enjoy this story because of it's there, Anal sex and BDSM.

Good luck with your story. I hope you will more develop your characters with your next story. If you make your characters real and believable, they will move off the page and take the keyboard from your hands and write their own story. That is when you know you have a story, when your characters take control of it.

Yet, this story was better, by far, than Bakeboss's story.

I hope that this spotlight of attention will garner you more votes and views.

 

[sr71plt]

My intention for this thread is to highlight stories. Yet, sometimes, there are stories from writers that are so horrible that I cannot highlight them. I have a responsibility to the readers of this site to highlight stories and not shit.

I guess to preserve the blunder that puts a lie to the "I have no alts" statement, I should quote the blunder.