ANDTHEEND's Highlighted Stories

[andtheend]

Guess you forgot you were supposed to post this under one of your alts, Freddie.

Here's a posting to be preserved for the next time you claim you don't have any alts.

Sometimes I allow BFW to post here.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Guess you forgot you were supposed to post this under one of your alts, Freddie.

Here's a posting to be preserved for the next time you claim you don't have any alts.

Susan and I are friends. My highlight of Bakeboss's story is personal. I figured, since I was there, I'll highlight the next story for her, too.

Thank your for noticing everything I do in my life.

And I have no alts, just lots of friends, something you wouldn't know about, since you have no friends.

 

[sr71plt]

 

[andtheend]

Surprise Office Visit by ootemi2

Here's a new story that posted today in the Erotic Coupling category from a fairly new writer.

See the link below

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478294

I was intrigued by the title of this story. I imagined all kinds of scenarios. Only, and I'm getting tired of saying this but...

The story had no character buildup what's so ever, not even a discription of the characters. These were tallking heads and because the characters were talking heads, the reader did not care about the characters and the story was just words.

The dialogue was limited to just three lines. The rest was narrative. I was hoping for more.

Since the title promises so much more, maybe this writer can go back and rewrite this story. Weaving in character discriptions and imagery would take this story from ordinary to extraordinary.

I hope my spotlight of attention not only gave you some helpful suggestions but also gave you some more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck.

 

[andtheend]

Firehouse by kyrie1595

Here's another story from an experienced writer that posted today to the Erotic Coupling category.

The link is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478399

By the title, Firehouse, I was hoping for a hot story involving hot firemen. What do you think?'

Although the writer built up a good amount of imagery, suspense, and tension, she ignored her characters, Kay and the fireman. Without giving either character so much as a description, I couldn't see what they looked like, a real disappointment, as this writer was stoking a hot sex scene.

Had she given as much attention to her characters, as she did to her sex scene, I think this story could have been as hot as a five alarm fire. Maybe this writer will agree to a rewrite with special attenion to her characters.

I hope this spotlight of attention will garner you more reads, votes, and feedback. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

Anniversary Gift by CheriSM

Here's a new story by a new, albeit prolific writer. She's already posted 15 stories in the month of May. Wow!

This story posted today in the Gay Male category. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478408

To be honest, I was excited by the title, Anniversay Gift. I figured this was a threesome type of story and I was right. Yet, my excitement was quickly dashed, as soon as the faceless characters were not even so much as introduced.

Other than Emily, the two men in the story were nameless. Finally, near the end of the story are we told Gary's name. Yet, none of the characters are described. This story would have been so much more enjoyable, if only we could see what the players looked like?

I imagined Emily thin with dark hair for some reason, but that, for all I know, could have been Gary. This lack of character description seems to be a common error with writers.

The reader cannot be enaged in your story and cannot feel for your characters, unless you, dear writer, give life to your characters by lifting them from the page and making them 3 dimensional.

I hope my suggestions were helpful to you and I hope that this spotlight of attention will garner your story more reads, votes, and feedback. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

The First Time, But Not The Last by lonesomejones

Here's a new story by an established writer that posted today in the Gay Category.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=476988

Again, the title is what intrigued me to this story.

What I liked about this story is that it introduced the characters with a brief bit of back story. Good. The dialogue was first rate. Moreover, the dialogue and narrative had a good pace and mixed to it.

What I didn't like about the story was, again, as with so many other stories that I've highlighted, there's no character description. What does Tim look like? I was curious? What about Tim's Dad? You've introduced him in this very short story, now it's up to you writer to give us more of a reason why you chose to bring him into the story, at least give us a description.

A bit more imagery would have helped this story. Certainly this writer knows how to write and better character development would have made this story so much more enjoyable to read.

I hope my suggestions for improvement are well taken. I hope this spotlight of attention will earn your story more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[FetishGoddess]

Thank you.

Here's a story by a new writer that posted today in the Mind Control category. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=477993

Now this is one writer that I don't want to get on her bad side. She appears to know much about computers and could probably unleash a virus on my computer, if I don't give her story a good highlighting.

Nonetheless, the story was a bit weird, disjointed, and a little difficult to follor. Mainly because of my common complaint with this story that I have with nearly every other story I've highlighted.

Character development. Yes, we know you can see the character in your head, as you are writing your story, but we, the reader, cannot, unless you give us, show us the information we need to see your character.

This character was as flat as the page and because of that, I didn't care about the character. C'mon, how can you care about someone you don't know. Yet, the writer spent a considerable amount of time and words trying to develop tension, but it failed.

Had she spent a bit more time on her character, making him three dimensional, to give the reader an image, her story would have been much better.

Yet, for those who like Mind Control stories, you may like this one.

Good luck with your story, FetishGoddess. I hope my spotlight of attention will give you more reads, higher votes, and more comments.

Thank you for your comment. I finally found this thread.

I posted this on Literotica instead of where I normally post, which is on a private section of my blog, because I figured if I wrote something out I might as well get some feedback on it. The people who normally read my writing... well, they never give me bad feedback at all!

Both of the people in that story are real. I really do things like that (don't worry about your computer-I take an honest-to-god blackmail application. It takes WORK to get fucked over by me.) and I wasn't sure how much I wanted to describe my pet, given that yes, he exists, and yes, other people finding out about the games I play with him would fuck his life up.

I suppose only giving my stories to my personal fan club who can quote things I wrote 5 years ago that I completely forgot about has made me incredibly lazy about trying to add depth to myself as a character. Thanks for that feedback, because honestly it doesn't even cross my mind anymore, and it should.

I will look into perhaps merging a few of my boys into a Frankencharecter for a story, or even (quelle horror!) making one up entirely, although after blogging about my exploits for so long, making people up to play with seems, I don't know... a bit masturbatory?

Perhaps I should write more from the perspective of one of my subs, but there's just SO MUCH from the msub perspective, I did want to show why this sort of thing is appealing from the dominant's perspective, which I guess flopped.

Ah well, there's always next time! Thanks for the feedback, I really do appreciate it.

 

[andtheend]

Thank you for your comment. I finally found this thread.

I posted this on Literotica instead of where I normally post, which is on a private section of my blog, because I figured if I wrote something out I might as well get some feedback on it. The people who normally read my writing... well, they never give me bad feedback at all!

Both of the people in that story are real. I really do things like that (don't worry about your computer-I take an honest-to-god blackmail application. It takes WORK to get fucked over by me.) and I wasn't sure how much I wanted to describe my pet, given that yes, he exists, and yes, other people finding out about the games I play with him would fuck his life up.

I suppose only giving my stories to my personal fan club who can quote things I wrote 5 years ago that I completely forgot about has made me incredibly lazy about trying to add depth to myself as a character. Thanks for that feedback, because honestly it doesn't even cross my mind anymore, and it should.

I will look into perhaps merging a few of my boys into a Frankencharecter for a story, or even (quelle horror!) making one up entirely, although after blogging about my exploits for so long, making people up to play with seems, I don't know... a bit masturbatory?

Perhaps I should write more from the perspective of one of my subs, but there's just SO MUCH from the msub perspective, I did want to show why this sort of thing is appealing from the dominant's perspective, which I guess flopped.

Ah well, there's always next time! Thanks for the feedback, I really do appreciate it.

Actually, your story was quite good, especially in the beginning, in the way that you set the mood.

Only, had you envisioned your characters more to feel what they are feeling and then describe those feelings to the reader to make the reader feel what you feel and what your character feels, well, that makes for an amazing story.

I wrote a story about a person that I was totally in love with. Everyone who knows me, knows this person. So, what did I do? I changed the name and the description of the character, but I saved my feelings that I felt for the character and used that to bring the character to life.

Literally the character walked up off the page, took the keyboard from my hand and took control of the story. When that happens, when your character takes control of you and your keyboard, you know whatever you write next is inspired writing and that's where you need to be every time you sit down to write a story.

Wait for it. Breathe in some life into your characters and then sit back and watch what happens.

 

[scouries]

also posted on the SCOURIES thread... this is a response to BFW on the NEW STORY page

...here are two questions i posed and posted on this very subject on this thread years ago - the ROYAL FAMILY & never responded!

[size=+2]QUESTIONS[/size]

Questions for Manu and Laurel…

I understand from others that the people who run this site are often very busy and hence find it hard to answer questions from members. First off I just want to say that Literotica is an exceptionally well constructed and run site that is the envy of not only other Erotic Story sites but also every story and literature site on the web.

Are Laurel and Manu real people or are they only avatars for the unknown owners, employees or management of the company? I don’t know and don’t care. I wish health, long life, prosperity and many descendants to whomever does own and run the site. If at some time they (the owners) wish to enlighten us further that will be all to the well and good. If not, that’s fine too.

My questions are directed to whoever in the company is in charge of customer/supplier relations. Although historically Literotica has been slow to answer questions I believe it would be in the interests of the owners to try to be a little more forthcoming (and in fact soon I’ll post a suggestion on a way to do this).

QUESTION #2 Could you explain the formula (and the reason for it) that you use to determine where on the ‘New Story’ page a story is placed?

I do know that special contest entries are almost always listed first and that ‘Non Consent’ stories are always listed last. ‘Incest’ and ‘BDSM’ stories are usually very near the end every day. ‘Romance’ and ‘Audio’ tales are always near the top.

Certain author’s stories are also always listed near the top. Do you charge these authors for the privilege or are they given these lofty positions for some other reason?

My interest here is more curiosity than anything else. It seems strange to me. Most bookstores (in fact most companies) highlight their best sellers. As soon as you walk in their front door (or click open their internet site) you’re faced by the books that people are reading; the ones people are buying.

You’d assume that Literotica would do the same thing but in fact you seem to do the opposite. From what I gather from others and my own experience, stories in the ‘Incest’, ‘Non Consent’, and perhaps ‘Loving Wives’ categories are the top sellers here but strangely they are relegated to a small shelf in the back room. I’d love to know why.

QUESTION #5 Who the heck is Nigel Debonnaire anyway? Does anybody know this guy? The first three stories on today’s ‘New Story’ page are by this writer. What are the odds on that happening in a random shuffling of all the new stories? Pretty darn slim, if you ask me.

And the #9 story today on the new list is by that weird guy from Texas. And strangely enough he also had 3 stories in the first 10 just two days ago.

And ‘direlilith’ got some pretty good spots on both the 10th and 11th.

Listen, good for them. If they’ve found a way to slip a few bucks in each time they submit a story and they get put right at the top of the ‘New Story’ page you got to congratulate them for their savvy. It has to help them get a few more reads and votes and that’s all to the good for them.

But poor ‘scouries’, I’m relegated to the back by these line jumpers. Maybe it would be fairer if Literotica’ just held an auction every afternoon and the authors with new stories coming out the next day could bid for a place in the top ten. If you’ve got the bucks you can be #1 for the day. This would get rid of the hanky-panky with the under the table deals and would probably generate even more money for our leaders. It would be win-win for everyone and be all right out in the open. A perfect American capitalist solution! Lets do it!

jrs

 

[TxRad]

...here are two questions i posed and posted on this very subject on this thread years ago - the ROYAL FAMILY & never responded!

[size=+2]QUESTIONS[/size]

Questions for Manu and Laurel…

I understand from others that the people who run this site are often very busy and hence find it hard to answer questions from members. First off I just want to say that Literotica is an exceptionally well constructed and run site that is the envy of not only other Erotic Story sites but also every story and literature site on the web.

Are Laurel and Manu real people or are they only avatars for the unknown owners, employees or management of the company? I don’t know and don’t care. I wish health, long life, prosperity and many descendants to whomever does own and run the site. If at some time they (the owners) wish to enlighten us further that will be all to the well and good. If not, that’s fine too.

My questions are directed to whoever in the company is in charge of customer/supplier relations. Although historically Literotica has been slow to answer questions I believe it would be in the interests of the owners to try to be a little more forthcoming (and in fact soon I’ll post a suggestion on a way to do this).

QUESTION #2 Could you explain the formula (and the reason for it) that you use to determine where on the ‘New Story’ page a story is placed?

I do know that special contest entries are almost always listed first and that ‘Non Consent’ stories are always listed last. ‘Incest’ and ‘BDSM’ stories are usually very near the end every day. ‘Romance’ and ‘Audio’ tales are always near the top.

Certain author’s stories are also always listed near the top. Do you charge these authors for the privilege or are they given these lofty positions for some other reason?

My interest here is more curiosity than anything else. It seems strange to me. Most bookstores (in fact most companies) highlight their best sellers. As soon as you walk in their front door (or click open their internet site) you’re faced by the books that people are reading; the ones people are buying.

You’d assume that Literotica would do the same thing but in fact you seem to do the opposite. From what I gather from others and my own experience, stories in the ‘Incest’, ‘Non Consent’, and perhaps ‘Loving Wives’ categories are the top sellers here but strangely they are relegated to a small shelf in the back room. I’d love to know why.

QUESTION #5 Who the heck is Nigel Debonnaire anyway? Does anybody know this guy? The first three stories on today’s ‘New Story’ page are by this writer. What are the odds on that happening in a random shuffling of all the new stories? Pretty darn slim, if you ask me.

And the #9 story today on the new list is by that weird guy from Texas. And strangely enough he also had 3 stories in the first 10 just two days ago.

And ‘direlilith’ got some pretty good spots on both the 10th and 11th.

Listen, good for them. If they’ve found a way to slip a few bucks in each time they submit a story and they get put right at the top of the ‘New Story’ page you got to congratulate them for their savvy. It has to help them get a few more reads and votes and that’s all to the good for them.

But poor ‘scouries’, I’m relegated to the back by these line jumpers. Maybe it would be fairer if Literotica’ just held an auction every afternoon and the authors with new stories coming out the next day could bid for a place in the top ten. If you’ve got the bucks you can be #1 for the day. This would get rid of the hanky-panky with the under the table deals and would probably generate even more money for our leaders. It would be win-win for everyone and be all right out in the open. A perfect American capitalist solution! Lets do it!

jrs

These are not questions. These are accusations. Just like everything else you put up. It's not all about you even though you seem to always think it is. Maybe you should spend some time reading the stories at the top of the new list. You might actually learn something.

One thing I might point out to everyone. He still hasn't got answer to these accusations.

 

[andtheend]

சத்யவதி – உமா by Prasa

This is a new story (I think) that posted near the very bottom of the new story section today. It posted to the Lesbian category.

The link is posted below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=476826

As you can determine the story is written in secret code, spy code. It's obvious to me that this writer is a spy in the United States, the home of the brave and the land of the free.

He or shie, probably a she, who is also a lesbian, since this story was posted to the lesbian category, is using Literotica to pass spying information to her cohorts.

Fortunately, I speak 8 languages. Although I am rusty in this language, I will try my best to translate it for the rest of you readers.

Dear Lesbians, meet me in the same place as last year. We will have a Jihad against all the straight men in the United States of America.

You will pretend that you are straight women by getting jobs as strippers, waitresses, bartenders, and sales women in the perfume department of Macy's. When the straight me pick you up and take you home to have sex, you will slit their throats.

I can't go on. I've sent this story to the FBI for them to further investigate.

On the chance that whomever opens this story will be investigated, too, I don't recommend reading this story.

Get out of my country, Jihad writer, Prasa, your real name, terrorist.

Well, I certainly hope that my little spotlight of attention will garner you more reads and votes.

 

[andtheend]

Luna by MysteryStar

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted today in the Erotic Couplings category. The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478522

The story begins with a complete description of the character of desire. Although I am grateful for the description, a better way for me to not only see the character but also for the writer to develop the character, I'd prefer having the character description woven in gradually with the story.

After reading this, all too short story, I am happy to report that I found the story that all of you men have been looking for but that has eluded you all these years.

This story is the story of your dreams. This is the story that all men go to bed dreaming about but in reality never ever happens.

A beautiful woman walks up to a strange man with a strange request.

"Kiss me," she says and he obliges.

From having coffee together, they end up in bed. Talk about cheap date and cheap women, this story is the story you guys have been searching for.

I recommend you all read it, while keeping in mind that it is fiction and the only way this story will happen to you in real life is if you drug the woman or flash a bank statement that has more than six zeros, not including the decimal point.

I hope this spotlight of attention will garner your story more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck.

 

[lonesomejones]

Here's a new story by an established writer that posted today in the Gay Category.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=476988

Again, the title is what intrigued me to this story.

What I liked about this story is that it introduced the characters with a brief bit of back story. Good. The dialogue was first rate. Moreover, the dialogue and narrative had a good pace and mixed to it.

What I didn't like about the story was, again, as with so many other stories that I've highlighted, there's no character description. What does Tim look like? I was curious? What about Tim's Dad? You've introduced him in this very short story, now it's up to you writer to give us more of a reason why you chose to bring him into the story, at least give us a description.

A bit more imagery would have helped this story. Certainly this writer knows how to write and better character development would have made this story so much more enjoyable to read.

I hope my suggestions for improvement are well taken. I hope this spotlight of attention will earn your story more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

Thanks for the feedback.

After reading through the story again I agree with you. I could've spent a lot more time fleshing out the characters. Doing this would have made a real difference.

I'll try and kwwp this all in mind next time.

Lonesomejones

 

[lonesomejones]

Here's a new story by an established writer that posted today in the Gay Category.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=476988

Again, the title is what intrigued me to this story.

What I liked about this story is that it introduced the characters with a brief bit of back story. Good. The dialogue was first rate. Moreover, the dialogue and narrative had a good pace and mixed to it.

What I didn't like about the story was, again, as with so many other stories that I've highlighted, there's no character description. What does Tim look like? I was curious? What about Tim's Dad? You've introduced him in this very short story, now it's up to you writer to give us more of a reason why you chose to bring him into the story, at least give us a description.

A bit more imagery would have helped this story. Certainly this writer knows how to write and better character development would have made this story so much more enjoyable to read.

I hope my suggestions for improvement are well taken. I hope this spotlight of attention will earn your story more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

Thanks for the feedback.

On reflection, I agree with your comments. I could've spent more time fleshing out the characters. This would've greatly added to the story.

I'll try and keep it in mind next time.

Lonesomejones

 

[andtheend]

Thanks for the feedback.

On reflection, I agree with your comments. I could've spent more time fleshing out the characters. This would've greatly added to the story.

I'll try and keep it in mind next time.

Lonesomejones

Writing is a lifelong apprenticeship. We all learn how to better write from readers' feedbacks. I remember the first time that I submitted one of my precious stories to a writer's workshop, a beloved story that I thought was the best story ever written and it was ripped to shreds.

After I cried and the shock of my delusion was over and realized, I rewrote my story and it was a better story. We all can grow from the insightful discourse of one another. It is the writer who will never accept constructive criticism who will fail as a writer.

Good luck with your future writing endeavors.

 

[andtheend]

A Black Man's Paradise by SamuelX

A Black Man's Paradise posted dead last on the new story page today in the Non-Erotic category.

Now, why would Literotica treat a writer who has shared so many of his stories, more than 1,000 for free, with such disrespect to post his story last on the new story page? As one of the most prolific authors on Literotica, you'd think his story would be first.

Nonetheless, the link to SamuelX's story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478724

The Non-Erotic category is a much ignored category, but a very important one, nonetheless. So many writers who think they can write cannot write a review and/or essay. It's not easy to write such exposition.

For those who have never experienced the fine writing of SamuelX, I highly recommend this essay, as an introduction to his literature. He's a fine writer and deserves your view, vote, and feedback.

If you've ever wondered what a black man from Haiti experiences in America, then this will give you a bit of insight.

I hope with my spotlight of attention, Mr. X, that you will garner more reads, votes, and comments.

 

[andtheend]

Captive Nurses by teach1965

This is a new story that posted today in the NonConsent/Reluctance category near the very bottom of the new story list.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478161

Captive Nurses listed in the NonConsent/Reluctance category. What could be better than that?

This story is chapters 1 and 2 of, obviously, a much longer story to come. The title, of course, is what captured my intest. Yet, as the story began the author chose to gloss over his hostages without even so much as a description.

So what happened? Without a description, without an image of who they are, unable to see the nurses enough to care about them, the story immediately failed.

Obviously, this person knows how to write. Only, the reader is met with long, too long, passages of narrative without so much as one line of dialogue.

"Help! Help! Help!"

That would have been good to make me feel something for his characters. Yet, they were as mute as they are flat.

This is one story that could have been wonderful had the writer taken the time to develop what he had created. Instead, he rushed it. Eager to get to the sex, no doubt, he glossed over the important part of the story, the characters.

Show me your characters. I want to see them. I want to feel them. Then, only then, can I care for them enough to want to read the rest of your story.

This is one story that still holds my interest and one story that would do well with a rewrite.

Nonetheless, I recommend this story. It could be a hot one.

I hope my spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments.

 

[andtheend]

The Party by pheonixcire

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted under the Group Sex category. Below is the link to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478655

Well, for those of you who are looking for something to read, while masturbating, this may be your story. Other than that the story offers little else. Other than a brief description of one of the characters, the characters are as flat as this story.

Yeah, sure, some of the sexual antics are decent, but they could have been great had the writer developed his or her characters.

The same old story, especially with a short story, character development is important. If you aren't going to bother developing your characters, don't even introduce them. Inserting an undeveloped character in your story is as terrible as introducing a red herring in a mystery crime story. It just doesn't work.

Undeveloped characters will knock away the reader's attention, as soon as the writer leaves the undeveloped character to go onto something else. The reader will never enjoy a story that has talking heads for characters. We all want to feel, as if we are there in the room with the characters. We want to see the characters. Show us what you are seeing, dear writer. Obviously, the story was important enough for you to write it, now show us why.

I hope this spotlight of attention will garner you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

While She's Asleep by PerilEyes

Here's a new story that posted today in the Fetish category by a new writer. Below is the link to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478780

Ah, finally, we have a writer who knows not only how to develop a character but also how to write dialogue to fit the character that he is developing. Already, we've gone from short story to artform.

Now, after reading just the first few lines, I want to read the rest of the story. Why? Character development. Suddenly, I care about this person that I don't know but who has just been properly introduced to me by the writer.

Not wanting to spoil the fun of those who want to read this story, suffice to say that I recommend it. It's short enough to read in a few minutes and meaty enough to give those with this type of fetish more to imagine doing and trying.

I hope this spotlight of attention will give your story more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story, PerilEyes.

 

[PerilEyes]

Wow, this was trully a surprise! Thanks for the kind words! Compared to everything else I've done this took the least amount of time and effort so to have it showcased for me is really amazing.

This one was spur of the moment. I thought of the idea and bam, within a few hours I had it done. Which is unusual for me because I'm a very slow writer.

Hope the sex scenes weren't too unconvincing. They aren't my strengths so I purposely kept them brief. Reading it over just now, I also picked out a TINY piece of discontinuity in the plot I forgot to edit. I wonder if anyone else will catch it...

 

[andtheend]

Wow, this was trully a surprise! Thanks for the kind words! Compared to everything else I've done this took the least amount of time and effort so to have it showcased for me is really amazing.

This one was spur of the moment. I thought of the idea and bam, within a few hours I had it done. Which is unusual for me because I'm a very slow writer.

Hope the sex scenes weren't too unconvincing. They aren't my strengths so I purposely kept them brief. Reading it over just now, I also picked out a TINY piece of discontinuity in the plot I forgot to edit. I wonder if anyone else will catch it...

Writing is a lifelong apprenticeship. We are all here to help one another. I am as unselfish in my highlighting of stories as I am in life. I don't expect anything in return for my helpful comments and suggestions.

If, by the way, any of those writers that I've highlighted their stories and gave them all 5 votes feel compelled to vote for my 10 Nude Day stories in the upcoming Nude Day contest, who am I to stop them from showing their appreciation by voting 5 on all my contest stories. I am but their mere servent.

"I thank you all in advance for voting for my 10 Nude Day stories submitted to the Nude Day contest, one every other day, beginning, June 20th."

Was I too transparent in my request of a 5 vote? Gees, I hope not.

 

[phoenixcire]

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted under the Group Sex category. Below is the link to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478655

Well, for those of you who are looking for something to read, while masturbating, this may be your story. Other than that the story offers little else. Other than a brief description of one of the characters, the characters are as flat as this story.

Yeah, sure, some of the sexual antics are decent, but they could have been great had the writer developed his or her characters.

The same old story, especially with a short story, character development is important. If you aren't going to bother developing your characters, don't even introduce them. Inserting an undeveloped character in your story is as terrible as introducing a red herring in a mystery crime story. It just doesn't work.

Undeveloped characters will knock away the reader's attention, as soon as the writer leaves the undeveloped character to go onto something else. The reader will never enjoy a story that has talking heads for characters. We all want to feel, as if we are there in the room with the characters. We want to see the characters. Show us what you are seeing, dear writer. Obviously, the story was important enough for you to write it, now show us why.

I hope this spotlight of attention will garner you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

I feel I must clarify the intentions of my story a little. While I appreciate your comments, your observation seems to be most apt. This was a story written to another person with her and I as the characters, with the intent of her masturbating to it. Smashing success in that department.

I had originally thought of retooling it as an actual story before posting it but decided that I would tire of that too easily. Instead I posted it as a slight sampling while I write a story with more fleshed out, in writing at least, characters.

 

[Prasa]

The Terrorist is Back with vengence .

hi ....Andtheend or so on ....

thanks for labelling me as a Terrorist .
i
am
all the more determined now to terrorise you with more erotic stories .
if you are so well versed of net savvy ,
just try to find the language in which i am writing.

look you terrorising higlihter and therby garnering attention to your posts .

my stories are aiming at my language readers and for their rejoicing erotic organs.
it is just that ,
even if i choosed other langugages blog,
my stories are still clubbed in the English.

calling F.B.I .... for it ...

aaah , aaah ,,,, i am not controlling my laughter,

you are having one hell of humorous writing style .

keep it up
and
keep me attracted to many more readers ....


Prasa .


until then ,
this
Terrorist
will
prepare
more
terrorising plans ; i.e., Hot , Burning stories ....!

 

[andtheend]

hi ....Andtheend or so on ....

thanks for labelling me as a Terrorist .
i
am
all the more determined now to terrorise you with more erotic stories .
if you are so well versed of net savvy ,
just try to find the language in which i am writing.

look you terrorising higlihter and therby garnering attention to your posts .

my stories are aiming at my language readers and for their rejoicing erotic organs.
it is just that ,
even if i choosed other langugages blog,
my stories are still clubbed in the English.

calling F.B.I .... for it ...

aaah , aaah ,,,, i am not controlling my laughter,

you are having one hell of humorous writing style .

keep it up
and
keep me attracted to many more readers ....


Prasa .


until then ,
this
Terrorist
will
prepare
more
terrorising plans ; i.e., Hot , Burning stories ....!

The wonderful thing about Literotica, my friend, is that they welcome all writers in all languages. It is amazing when we all can come together with the common interest of reading and writing stories.

I wish you continued success with your writing. Whatever is your language, your words are much prettier than mine.

Thanks for taking the time to comment and thank you for realizing what I wrote was in fun. I hope you've received more reads, votes, and comments from what I wrote.