Approaching a friend for sex

[ec194]

I've been friends with this girl for a long time. For as long as I've known her, shes just been a friend, but recently, I've been fantasizing about what it would be like to make love with her....

How can I tell her how I feel without ruining our friendship? I mean if she goes for it, great, but if shes not interested, I don't want to have tension between us...I'd hate to lose a friend I've had for so long....

Has anyone else been in this situation before? What did you do?

Thanks in advance!

 

[DevilishTexan]

I've been friends with this girl for a long time. For as long as I've known her, shes just been a friend, but recently, I've been fantasizing about what it would be like to make love with her....

How can I tell her how I feel without ruining our friendship? I mean if she goes for it, great, but if shes not interested, I don't want to have tension between us...I'd hate to lose a friend I've had for so long....

Has anyone else been in this situation before? What did you do?

Thanks in advance!

First off PLEASE don't make love to her the first time! Throw her down and just fuck the bejesus out of her. ALWAY'S leave a good first impression! And chances are she's probably wondering why you haven't made a move on her yet. Not that she wants that......but women are just like us, they wonder too ya know. I'm not gonna go into how ya do it...because I've stumbled into most of the sex I've ever had and never really chased a woman. You could do a Google search for subtle clues to look for that a woman is interested. I'm not gonna go into them. I've said too much already. I leave my book's for the Story section!

 

[sipthekitty]

Do you think she is interested in you that way? You should be able to read her pretty well since you are friends, after all. I'm a girl that has been in several "platonic" friendships and have dated a couple of friends. It's always awkward at first, but just be honest and read the signs. Perhaps drop a few hints and see what her reaction is. If it turns out well, I think friends make the best long term lovers. Good luck.

 

[Meat Whistler]

Honestly, just tell her how you feel. Just be honest with her or make it painfully obvious how you feel about her. If she feels the same, move forward. If she's a true friend and she doesn't feel that way, things should just progress normally into a great friendship.

 

[ldlarry52]

If you really have feelings for the girl, then proceed to take your relationship from just friends. Now, I am not saying try in get her in bed right away. If she is interested in making your relationship personal then the relationship will grow and move forward. Eventually, to the bed.

If all you want to do is fuck her, then you most likely will loose a friend and not get what you want.

Ask her out, have some fun, and let her know that you are developing feelings for her beyond friendship. She may feel the same way or she won't. Don't come on to strong and be prepared for the possibility she just wants to stay friends.

If you want to remain friends if romance is not to be apart of it, then you have to deal with your feelings and let it drop. Don't keep reminding her how you feel. This will only create discomfort and she will not want to be around you.
LDLarry52

 

[Zeldas slave]

Just remember that once you cross the bridge from friend to lover (even if it's just a one-off hump/shag/screw or fuck!) you can NEVER, EVER expunge the memory! It WILL have happened and you WON'T be able to forget it!

Why not try to bring the conversation around to friendships developing further - and try to gauge her reaction?

Finally, if you think your desires may just be a fantasy, why not simply think about this woman whilst masturbating and that way the sex will always be great, she will be non the wiser and you won't risk a friendship falling apart!

Hope this helps you
Regards
Zeldas Slave

 

[potatohead]

Why not try to bring the conversation around to friendships developing further - and try to gauge her reaction?

Finally, if you think your desires may just be a fantasy, why not simply think about this woman whilst masturbating and that way the sex will always be great, she will be non the wiser and you won't risk a friendship falling apart!

Sometimes talking about it isn't the best thing to do. If her feelings are anything but 100% mutal then she'll most likely listen to the 'rational' side of herself and will more then likely say that she wants to remain friends and not fuck up the relationship. Maybe talking about it while you're both drunk and bombed out of your minds so that the inhibitions are gone. If that's the case DON'T have sex while in that state, totally a bad move that you might both regret.

At the same time, I can't really suggest masturbating while thinking about her. Sure, it's fun but one of two things could happen. #1 You start to get more attracted to her and wonder what it would be like to be with her and could lead to feelings of jealously towards whoever she's dating or distract you from you're own relationships. #2 If and when you do have sex with her if the reality doesn't measure up to the fantasy then you might be very disapointed.

Having been down this road and done it completly wrong I can say either talk while drunk or wait for the right moment to just grab her and kiss her/throw her down or whatever seems right. But whatever you do DON'T combine the two. That'll just blow up in your face.

Best of luck with it,

-PH

Merry Christmas to all!

 

[lovechild27]

Sometimes, fantasy is best left in your head.

You have been friends for a while...if you sleep together, chances are things will change drastically and your relationship will be changed...quite possible for the worst. If you have been friends for a while and she has never made a move and your strictly platonic, chances are that is how she sees you....as a buddy.

If you feel the need...take the chance....tell her how you feel. Just beware things probably will not go as you would like.

 

[ec194]

Thanks everyone for the great advice!

I started thinking about her this way because we've both always had a significant other, but we were always there for each other.... now, though, neither one of us are seeing anyone, and with the holidays and all, I guess I was just hoping for something...I think I'll let her know I think of her as more than just a friend, and let her decide. If she feels the same way, great. If not, I don't think I'll hurt what we have now...

 

[Zeldas slave]

Hi there ec! I think potatohead is right in that it'd be best to approach your lady friend when you've both had a glass or two of inhibition loosener! <G>

I also agree with PH that then is NOT the time to tumble into the sack if she seems to give the green light! Alcohol can cause so much anguish if its abused! :-(

I wish you luck whatever you decide to do and maybe you'll let us know how things go?

May I take this opportunity to wish all of you out there a very Merry Christmas - Christian or not - and a safe and happy New Year!

There's too much hate in the world for it to last forever!

Zeldas Slave

 

[FrigidB0B]

happened to me once.

I actually did have sex with a friend one time. It was the best sex I've ever had.It was interesting the way it came about. We just kinda decided mutually to do it.

Anyways, we're really good friends, and there was never any awkward period for us. I guess I'm just lucky.

The thing about sex is this....
as long as the people involved want the same thing out of it (love, companionship, a really good fuck) everything should be cool. the only problems come when the people involved want different things out of it. Say you have feelings for her, but she just wants a good fuck. that's bad. you will get hurt.

 

[Zeldas slave]

Good point FrigidBOB! If you both know what you want REALLY know, that is, then it can only be good!

Zeldas Slave

 

[SummerMorning]

*groaning with a hangover* let me add my voice to the chorus shouting:

Four legs good, Two legs better!

Er...oops. Wrong quote.

...shouting:

Alcohol and sex bad. Very bad. Not pleasant at all.

*groan*

 

[sheath]

I'm wondering...

How does she react when you touch her? If you were to reach over and play with her hand, maybe hold it, would she pull away? If you were to play with her hair, would she look at you like you were crazy or would she lean back into you hoping for more?

There are little clues to tell you if a woman might be intersted in more, and the way she reacts to you on a physical level is a pretty strong one. If she seems receptive to touches that flirt with the line between friendship and more, then perhaps a conversation on the subject is in order.

S.

 

[hellah10]

platonic friendship maybe.......

 

[ConfusedMan]

funny a similar situation happened to me last Friday.
I was over at a female friend's place and where having good conversations about lots of subjects like always and then we started to drink while playing some cards.
We ended up in bed for some friendly fucking and we both felt it was great. As far as I am concerned there were no feelings involved - but I am not sure if I would repeat the experience.
I gave her a good fuck and she became more interested in spending time with me.
Hopefully she spoke the truth when she told me that she is capable of not mixing feelings and sexual pleasure.
Only time will tell I guess.