Are you dominant or submissive

[LittleSwitchy]

Something I find strange is how people seem to often react to "I'll do anything.." with "that's bs, you wouldn't do anything, you must have limits", but when someone says "i have limits" then no one says "of course you have limits, everyone does". I don't think anyone would agree to swallow broken glass or let them get anal raped by a spiked club or something.

When I say "i'll do anything" it really means "I'll do almost anything", but it just sounds better. In bdsm I would translate it to "i have very few hard limits and I would let you push me past my soft limits".

It kind of bothers me hearing simply "i have limits" because everyone does, it doesn't mean anything when you say that. Maybe it means "i have very many limits" like maybe nothing outside the bedroom and only light stuff?

For me hard limits means "if you go there I'm immediately ending out relationship and there will be no second chances". Soft limits are something like "I would prefer not going there but if it means a great deal to you I could be pursuaded but you 100% must get my consent first and I can't promise you I'll be able to go through with it".

I think reason people question when someone says I’ll do anything. It’s more the I have no limits. Which in the person’s online or fantasy world is kinda ok. Being online there’s no chance of being hurt physically by someone. Emotionally they can be.
TBH. I blame the 50 shades of complete crap for much of things. People 50 shades is a Harliquin romance novel. It is NOT what lifestyle is really like.
There’s newbs that go through sun frenzy. The .. I want to do everything. It’s SO hot. Online is one thing. You take that thinking to the real world. There you tell someone you have no limits. They’re going to take you at face value. You can get seriously hurt. Tread lightly. Protect yourself. Let the one you’re playing with like .. ok I’m new and don’t know all my limits. I do know I don’t like XYZ. No way at all. But there’s ABC that seems like I want to try.
My big advice to newbs. Do NOT play with someone unless you have taken the time to get to know them. Build a trust with them. Take things at your pace. Ask a million questions if you want/ need to.

 

[ScarletsUniversityLife]

100% sub

 

[roxanne1971]

sexually and romantically submissive. In my work life. I am the boss

 

[Goldenfinger]

I donno what kind of discussion that's why I asked but I guess making a more elaborate explanation why you have your "role" is a good idea like you did. Then others can comment if they find it interesting.

And yeah your story makes sense, interesting insight to military life/relationship. You started as dominant and transitioned into sub. I started as sub and now I wanna transition into dom. Our paths have crossed

In My relationship with my wife I never started out as the dominant. We were and are equal. Just because she dominate and I’m submissive doesn’t make her more and me less. We are partners, friends and lovers. I’m just saying this to clarify, to add to the discussion.

 

[MiaDani80]

I’m a true switch-naturally dominant but I love when I connect with someone that can dom

Ive discovered over the past few years that I am a switch too. I’ve been a dom in several relationships and was in extended domme-sissy relationship over the past several years. I still find myself caught (or pleasantly able) to switch between both worlds.

 

[BrendaBear]

I always considered myself a switch, but lately seem to be more inclined to submissive,

 

[Bbwfucktoy]

Hi, submissive bbw

 

[LeatherPearls]

I am a natural Dom. My submissive side is very braty and still does what she wants.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

May I ask
Why does there have to be a label? Why either or?
Just be you. Have fun, enjoy the journey, explore.

 

[lil_jenni]

With my husband (and men before him), I'm a sub, although sometimes a bratty one. But because my husband is less into this than I am, I do have to top from the bottom more than I might like.

Except for my current girlfriend, who had not had sex with another woman before me, I was subordinate to the few women I had been with, although it was different. It's less about being dominated and more about just following the other woman's lead and wanting to please. With my GF now, I take the lead more often than not. But in addition to being more experienced, I am also ten years older than her.

 

[Cyberwhite]

I definitely submissive. Plus, I'm pretty small and have a delicate build, so it's not that hard.

 

[sinfulchaoticdesires]

i personally would label myself as an extremely sadistic Dominant? Top?
but i also am very masochistic when that mood hits, but it is very very very rare

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

I'm a switch, in the S/M realm. Love pain/pleasure conversion and the associated power exchange. I'm always looking for open-minded individuals to share and exchange kinky thoughts and fantasies.

 

[Cassioirl]

Dominant. But I’m not into pain. More of a bondage/control person.

 

[Ingenue844]

Sub

 

[WSM98]

I'm learning that I like to be both.

 

[SinfuIDreams]

I like to refer to myself as a pain-ho, the correct term for this being masochist.

I've spent a lot of years in and out of the kink scene I've been submissive and dominant, switched with the same partner. Only submissive with others and then only dominant.

For now I'm happy being classed as submissive to my own needs as I am no longer practicing.

 

[Wonderer67]

I'm learning that I like to be both.

Agree. Totally submissive (sexually) in most respects. Have had some interesting experiences as of late being in control. I kind of like it.

 

[xdresssissytoes]

I'm a submissive bottom by nature. I love submitting to a guy/gurl'd needs dressed slutty on my knees inches from a hard cock and loose hanging balls. My holes are his/hers to use.

 

[cougarwantscocks]

I've found it deeply satisfying to be in the submissive role. Not that I can't take on a more assertive role and do from time to time, but definitely pleasing and submitting get me going quite intensely.

 

[Recondo69]

I'm dominant outside the house.very submissive in bedroom.

 

[55ChevyBelAir]

I have always felt in control of my life. But as I age, I am discovering submissive desires sexually. I am aroused to consider someone controlling me and directing my actions. Newly aware of excitement in kneeling before domme to follow commands.

 

[Melanie00]

Well I’ve been passive/ submissive my whole life.

 

[WSM98]

Agree. Totally submissive (sexually) in most respects. Have had some interesting experiences as of late being in control. I kind of like it.

Right?! This being in control thing is...invigorating.
And it's cool to see how far I can take it. I become a different person entirely & I like it.

 

[cuppatea]

I’d have to go with the dominant side of me more often than not. Switch at best describes it.