Ask the Demon

Hello Great Daemon of All Knowingness (except about odd teddybear cartoons of the 80's):

C just entered into a relationship with L. L also took on another girl, S, at the same time. Apparently now L is thinking of taking the relationship with S a bit more long term than he previously thought. C is freaking out and wondering if she's going to lose L due to the previous relationship and emotional attachment between L and S.

I'm trying to keep C from freaking out, and trying to make her realize that it will become a self-fufilling prophecy if she continues to think this way. Do you have any advice that might help with this situation?
 
Hello Great Daemon of All Knowingness (except about odd teddybear cartoons of the 80's):

C just entered into a relationship with L. L also took on another girl, S, at the same time. Apparently now L is thinking of taking the relationship with S a bit more long term than he previously thought. C is freaking out and wondering if she's going to lose L due to the previous relationship and emotional attachment between L and S.

I'm trying to keep C from freaking out, and trying to make her realize that it will become a self-fufilling prophecy if she continues to think this way. Do you have any advice that might help with this situation?

*trying to keep extra knowledge that I have out of this answer is going to be hard*

Let's get the roster straight right quick. Your question is a bit confusing to read.

C - female, new romantic attachment to L
S - female, renewed romantic attachment to L
L - male, possibly polyamorous, possibly just having his cake and eating it, too

Got it. Now, C is freaked that she's going to lose L to S because they have history. As much as I don't like to admit it, this is a rational concern. Not necessarily well rooted in reality, but the logic certainly tracks. It doesn't seem she had to wait very long, so, I'm guessing that he told C straight out about S. First off, he seems to be honest. Maybe not the most comprehensive with emotional openness, but honest, nonetheless. The problem I am seeing with this situation is the lack of communication. C is letting her fears run away with her, and if L sees this then he needs to talk it out with her. S is a factor that can either help the situation or hurt it, and either quite a bit. If S is there for the conversation with L & C, her input will allay or stoke C's fears, depending on how she acts. The primary thing that all three parties need to keep in mind is that this is not an instance of two relationships that just happen to share a common individual. This isn't even three relationships with three common individuals. It is one relationship with three people in it. If all three people don't work to make sure that every portion of the relationship is strong and taken care of, the entire thing could collapse.

Unfortunately, there really isn't much advice that could be given to C. She has a concern. Because of the nature of fear, the only way it can be helped is if the people that are scaring her cease to do so. The advice really needs to be given to L & S, but mostly L. He seems to be the linchpin of the situation. S could have been anyone or anything that could cause C fear, however, that brings up the one bit of advice that I can think of for C: chill the fuck out.

There was a story of a man in Haiti who ran into an emergency room screaming that someone had to help him. He explained, rather incoherently, that a local houngan or voodoo priest, had cursed him. After a few minutes of trying to help the man, which was constantly interrupted by him screaming at them to stop with the medicine and get him another houngan to break the curse, he dropped dead. He'd had no external injuries, and his internal physiology was nearly pristine ...with the exception of his ruptured heart. The man had believed so fiercely in voodoo (go figure, he's Haitian), that the very suggestion that he had been cursed was enough to cause him to literally be scared to death. Whether or not the houngan had actually taken the time to perform a cursing ritual on the victim is a fact that will likely never be revealed. The point is, all it took to actually croak the guy was the suggestion that he was cursed.

My discussions on incidental magic aside, this is a very real scenario, and C is becoming the "cursed" victim. Beside pushing herself into a state of possible panic over a fear that may or may not have any basis in reality, she's becoming the victim of a self-generated curse, which may become self-fulfilling. If you are scared that something is going to happen, you will prepare for it in any way you can imagine. These preparations immediately show a lack of faith to your partner(s). This will, in turn, sour the relationship, because no relationship, especially no romance, can survive with a blatant lack of trust.

There is a certain part of me that wants to claim that the relationship is already doomed because C doesn't have the requisite trust to make it work, but that theory has been posited and disproven by more qualified relationship experts than me. I will state it as a warning, however: If C doesn't show some (admittedly, completely illogical, but nonetheless necessary) faith in L, and herself, for that matter, that S is not going to cause L to rid himself of her, then she's already signed the relationship's death warrant.
 
Demon, my inquiry is mercifully simple.
Why do you attempt to reform an entity that has proven several times to be less than sentient?
 
Why do I keep putting my remote in my friend's room and not remember to take it back?

It's not your fault. It's the remote. It longs to be with your friend. It has a crush.

You must stymie these efforts. It will evolve into an obsession and then you'll have a nightmarish scenario that will be sold as a TV movie deal to Oxygen for a paltry, insulting price.

Or you're trying to generate excuses to go back. One of the two.
 
Demon, my inquiry is mercifully simple.
Why do you attempt to reform an entity that has proven several times to be less than sentient?

Because it's my motto. Lost causes are the ones most worth fighting for.

Besides, I get to practice my verbal assault skills while I do it.

Win, win, really.
 
Because it's my motto. Lost causes are the ones most worth fighting for.

Besides, I get to practice my verbal assault skills while I do it.

Win, win, really.

Fair enough.

I leave wounded behind.
You berate them and attempt to rehabilitate.

Also, on the subject of verbal battery, just read Transmetropolitan.
I believe you'd like Spider Jeruselum.
 
Dear Daemon,

Why do I have a migrane and am awake at 4 am when I should be all snuggled into my bed dreaming of your depravity?
 
Dear Daemon,

Why do I have a migrane and am awake at 4 am when I should be all snuggled into my bed dreaming of your depravity?

Strangely enough- same thing happened to me too.. coicidence?
 
Why am I the only one who isn't dreaming of your depravity Vandal? Ever since the cow story surfaced...Well Jay Leno has started looking good.
 
Dear Demon,

Why is it the husband always gets pissy when you nail the wife in a public restroom?

Regards,
LadyA
 
Dearest Deamon,

Why is that I'm not excited yet to move? I leave in only a few hours, you would think that I would be thrilled to be on my way to you finally. Can you explain this?
 
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