Ask Velvet ~ An agony aunt for the fast food generation.

[VelvetDarkness]

How do I post photos like yo uwould in an e-mail? Thanks in advance.

Firstly, you have to have the 'standard text editor' activated rather than just the basic one. If you go to your 'user control panel' [top left button] and select [edit options] it will be under there somewhere.

Then you will have icons to put quotes around things [little speech bubble icon], add a hyperlink [standard chain link icon] and insert pics [little landscape icon].

Click the pics icon and a little box will ask for the url of your pic. You can copy/paste this from a hosting site or if you're linking a pic from another place, right click on the image and select 'copy image location' then paste it into the pic icon dialogue box. This will wrap html code around your pic: http://www.whatever.com/jpg. The pic will then appear as part of the body of the post.

Example:

[url]http://bdsm-artwork.com/free/gallspics/pics/g22.jpg[/url] becomes

http://bdsm-artwork.com/free/gallspics/pics/g22.jpg

if you remove the spaces between the code and the link.

Hope that helps.

 

[newexplorer]

oh my

It depends on Master's mood. It's not always important to him.

Sometimes he wants to keep me on the edge for as long as possible, he'll deny me the rougher fucking that he knows I like and take his time before bringing me to a thundering, white hot climax.

Sometimes he'll torture me with it, threatening all manner of nasty things if I cum without permission while doing his best to send me over the edge.

Sometimes he forces me to have lots of smaller orgasms. These are less satisfying for me but more entertaining for him, not to mention a boost to his ego. He'll keep going until I'm begging and pleading with him to leave my hypersensitive ladybits alone.

Then again, sometimes he just wants to fuck. He wants an orifice, nothing more or less. My discomfort and my pleasure are a matter of supreme indifference to him. He'll pin me or beat me into whatever position he wants me in and then just go for it. Usually these encounters don't last too long but on occasion he'll dryfuck me for quite some time. If I'm dry at the start and he causes me enough 'bad' pain to keep me from getting aroused, I'll be completely raw by the time he's finished. This is sometimes a punishment for me but more often it's just his whim.

All these things turn him on and get him off. Our sex life is governed completely by his mood. What I fancy on any given day very rarely enters the equation, unless I've been very good.

It's all the same to me. The biggest turn on for me is pleasing him.
__________________




oh my god velvet, this sounds like heaven, i melted a little reading that!youre a lucky girl!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Aww... shucks.

I can't even remember where I posted that.

 

[newexplorer]

Aww... shucks.

I can't even remember where I posted that.

it was in the thread about if a sub's arousal matters. god i need to find myself a dom, and quick!!!!

 

[NervousGuy]

Free Bump for Velvet.

Also a question.

I read in the first page of this thread and have seen it around the forums. The term "munch". As you said it was a get togeather for your area of like minded individuals. As for me trying to google it as "munch" it dosn't work out to well heh. I've also checked for clubs, groups, and meetings. Any idea of another or explicit word for "munch"?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Free Bump for Velvet.

Also a question.

I read in the first page of this thread and have seen it around the forums. The term "munch". As you said it was a get togeather for your area of like minded individuals. As for me trying to google it as "munch" it dosn't work out to well heh. I've also checked for clubs, groups, and meetings. Any idea of another or explicit word for "munch"?

If you google 'BDSM munch', you should have better luck or try entering the area you live in to narrow down the results a bit. Substitute 'BDSM' for other keywords like 'Fetish' or 'Kink' if you're still having trouble.

If you're brave enough to give me an idea of your location, I might be able to find you a few links.

 

[NervousGuy]

I sent you a PM with my location seeing as I have horrible luck finding a place. Plus its not something I'm going to post publicly.

 

[HowMayIPleaseU]

make my box bigger baby!

Hi Velvet!

First off I'd just like to say that I have really enjoyed reading your postings. You are very level headed and offer great common sense advice.

I looked around in the FAQs a bit, but have had no luck in finding an answer... Someone mentioned in passing that when you reach a certain number of posts, your pm box size limit is increased. Are there guidelines around somewhere for that? I'm fighting a perpetual battle against this... Someone's always trying to fill up my box...

Thanks!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If I remember rightly, I started out with a pm limit of 150 (this includes both sent and received messages, so keeping your outbox empty does help) then went up to 250 and now I have a total pm limit of 500 messages. I'm pretty sure the 500 limit came into effect after I made 1000 posts but I may be wrong.

 

[bailadora]

No question to ask but instead a short note to say congratulations. I wish you and MM all the best.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Aw, thankyou honey. You know you're welcome to stop by any time.

 

[exhibitinlight]

Hey Velvet, I just wanted to stop by to leave a sycophantic note to say I really enjoyed reading your posts, particularly your explanation of your relationship here: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=621452

A fellow Brit

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Thankyou.

Our set up does work well for us although, like all couples we have ups and downs and even a picture perfect slave like me *bats eyelashes innocently* has the occasional belligerent day.

I hope you're enjoying browsing the site.

 

[human_male]

How does one become accepted socially, either out in the world or on forums?

I think I'm a pleasant, polite, reasonably friendly and some would say funny guy. But for some reason I've never had many friends. It wasn't that bad when I was in school but in my adult life the very concept of going out, having fun and socialising with friends, let alone a girlfriend, seems like a distant and barely remembered dream. I can't remember the last time I actually went out and did something on a weekend.

Similarly on forums, I try to be friendly and helpful or supportive. I read forums where people are happily chatting back and forth and quoting each other, but if I try to join in it's like my post is a blank spot that people simply jump over like it's not there. Either that or I manage to get someone's panties all in a bunch and they respond angrily. Take Lit for instance. I've been around here for years now. I've made a few friends but they've never lasted. I get the feeling no one even knows me as hardly anyone ever responds to me. I'm almost afraid to post threads because I fear it will sink into oblivion without a single reply or someone will get all agro at me for some reason. I get the feeling that sometimes people pointedly ignore me. Like if I were to respond to a how to thread, I could say the exact same thing as everyone else and the poster would thank everyone in the thread, by name, except me.

So I'd like to know if this is common or am I doing something wrong? Is something just fundamentally wrong with me and I should just accept that, or is my perception skewed somehow?

Thanking you in advance.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

That's a tricky question. I've seen you around on How To and you always give good, well intentioned advice. I read through some of your recent posts and there are a few things that struck me about them. This is just the impression I got though, I can't say that I know you very well.

You're very open about your lack of success with women and low confidence in social situations and conversation/IM/etc. This is very admirable and one of the good things about Lit is that it allows people to be open about these things in an anonymous way. Sometimes though, it can make people feel awkward, either because they see some of their own observations and fears in what you've said or simply because it's obvious that your lack of social confidence is very upsetting for you. People find it easy to respond to jokes and so on but acknowledging someone who has bared their soul on the board is trickier and just as you worry about upsetting people, others may often worry about upsetting you and opt not to comment, just in case.

There is also a general lack of optimism in your posts. To be honest, they suggest to me that you may be quite depressed. You're quick to clock up negative experiences and I wonder if it makes you overlook your little successes and social victories sometimes. A recent post said that you ask people about themselves but they never reciprocate and express an interest in you. When I read that I felt sad for you and for the injustice of somebody making a concerted effort and not getting a positive result. In terms of quoting that post and responding though, I wouldn't have known what to say to that and it stands to reason that other posters may feel as I did. Some of your posts take me right back to being the lonely kid in the school playground and while I can sympathise and empathise, some post readers don't like being reminded of when they too felt lonely, passed over and isolated. It's not about you, it's about them.

I don't think you're doing anything 'wrong' or that there is any reason why people should find your posts inappropriate. You are a valuable contributor to the forum and take the time to offer the knowledge and wisdom you have. We're never all going to agree on everything but regular How To posters like you and Erika will always command my respect. It can be hard not to take things personally but here on Lit, it's a good policy never to do so. People post for all sorts of reasons and one can never know what is happening in their life or what put them in such a mood one day that they responded more strongly to a thread than they would normally have done. Although people discuss very personal things here, to take things personally on an anonymous forum is an exercise in futility.

I know that none of this is really advice and I'm sorry that I can't really offer any. I hope I haven't offended or upset you with anything I've said. It's really hard to teach social skills because much of what we pick up from others is intuitive.

If you'd like to talk further in pm, please feel free to do so.

 

[human_male]

Thanks very much for your reply. It was very helpful, I can see the truth in it. I am trying not to sound so negative all the time, but I find I tend not to say anything at all, except to make some lame joke. I'm working on it.

You certainly didn't offend or upset me. If I could PM you from time to time to ask you things that would be nice.

Thanks again.

You're quick to clock up negative experiences and I wonder if it makes you overlook your little successes and social victories sometimes.

Focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive is something I do quite a bit. I'm aware of it and I'm working on it. You're very perceptive.

 

[human_male]

Sorry, I seem to have killed your thread.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Thanks very much for your reply. It was very helpful, I can see the truth in it. I am trying not to sound so negative all the time, but I find I tend not to say anything at all, except to make some lame joke. I'm working on it.

You certainly didn't offend or upset me. If I could PM you from time to time to ask you things that would be nice.

Thanks again.

Focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive is something I do quite a bit. I'm aware of it and I'm working on it. You're very perceptive.

I'm glad you found my post useful. I think that being aware of these learned coping mechanisms is a large part of the battle. I also think you might find this book and/or this one interesting reading.

Of course you're still welcome to pm and don't worry, you haven't killed the thread. It's been meandering along for a while now at a very leisurely pace.

 

[DVS]

Thanks very much for your reply. It was very helpful, I can see the truth in it. I am trying not to sound so negative all the time, but I find I tend not to say anything at all, except to make some lame joke. I'm working on it.

You certainly didn't offend or upset me. If I could PM you from time to time to ask you things that would be nice.

Thanks again.



Focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive is something I do quite a bit. I'm aware of it and I'm working on it. You're very perceptive.

I don't think VelvetDarkness will mind if I add my own observations here. I'm not going to say anything about your being negative or anything else you brought up in your initial post. But, there are times when things just happen, and there is no reason why they do...they just do.

I'm a people watcher, myself. I like to say I understand people and how they would react in many situations. I write stories that involve such things, and I hope my understandings of how someone would react in a given situation comes out in my stories. If I have a character respond in an unusual way, sometimes the story suffers. I can't have that happen, if I can do something about it. If my characters don't act um...human, my storyline will jump all over the damn place. So, I tend to watch how and why people react as they do and use that in a story. Human responses in my characters allow the reader to understand the story.

I guess you could say I'm also a bit of a voyeur. And not so much in the sexual sense of the word, but I'm just interested in the "hows and the whys" of people and what makes them do and say what they do. I've often enjoyed sitting in a public place just to watch people going about their day to day business.

OK, call me weird, if you must, but I use to be VERY introverted and I think I started this to be able to talk to someone with out clamming up in the middle of the conversation, or being so introverted or shy that I wouldn't say anything at all.

Sometimes I think I've overdone this watching. I will talk to to strangers on the street, and assume they understand what I'm meaning, when I say something. Sure, sometimes they do, but of course, there are times when they don't. I'm quite sure I seem over confident to some, and maybe even obnoxious at times, too.

I sometimes find that I "over" watch on these forums, too. And then I assume that someone SHOULD have noticed a post of mine and SHOULD have replied. And when they don't, I get my panties in a wad about it (note...I don't wear panties, it's just a phrase ).

Of course, it has nothing to do with me, nor does it have anything to do with the person I thought should have noticed what I posted. But, I've been posting on the BDSM and BDSM/Cafe threads for several years, now, and I still notice myself over reacting...even though I know it happens.

There's just no way to know when someone or ANYONE will notice something you've posted. And, unless you add some BOLD COLORS to your post, or attach something animated to your signature, your post could very well go unnoticed by most everybody.

People sometimes post to forums like this while going on with other conversations. Maybe they're also talking on the phone, or yelling at one of the kids to quiet down, or they could be so involved in the back and forth of their conversation with someone that they will totally ignore all other posters, completely. And yes, maybe they are just so stuck on themselves, that they won't even acknowledge someone they don't see as in their little clique. Pathetic yes, but also sometimes true.

Now, I'm not going to say you aren't correct in some of your own observations. You might be completely correct, because I haven't searched any of your previous posts. And even doing that, I'd be adding my own personal observations to what was said at another place and time.

These forums can be very strange, at times. First, you have to understand that each post is just a bunch of words on a page. There is no body language, no facial expressions and they can't hear if your voice is louder in some parts. They can't tell if you're mad or insistent, and they can't tell if you're just trying to join in and become a member of their conversation.

Because of that, everybody who reads what you've posted is required to add their own body language, facial expressions. And some will also add anything else they happened to be feeling, at the time they read what you've typed. More than once, I've experienced the wrath of someone who misunderstood my dry sense of humor and took what I've said personally. So, even though it might not help, I've added something to my signature to help counter this, in the future.

Oh, I've been posting in the BDSM forums enough now, that I think most are aware of my somewhat warped humor, but I can't say it won't happen again...like maybe tomorrow. And I tend to stay FAR AWAY from political conversations, because they can get down right nasty! Say something bad about someone's favorite candidate and you could suffer a good whuppin' with words.

So, to make a long post even longer, you must understand that sometimes shit just happens. Most of the time, it will have nothing at all to do with you, but very much to do with what is going on in the other person's life that makes them not see something.

And, unfortunately, it also can be true that when they get pissed or misunderstand what you've posted, it also has a lot to do with them, and not with you. This all boils down to the nature of these forums and the fact that there is no physical interaction in the conversations...just words on a page.

Sure, smileys help some, as do the options to BOLD and underline etc. but not enough. There could never be enough emotional icons for some people. And then you have to interpret the thought behind the smiley they chose.

So, don't take this kind of thing too seriously and for sure don't take it personally. Just know sometimes it's only Murphy's Law in action...whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. And that's a fact of life that can sometimes make a guy wonder why he even bothers. (Yes, I thought that deserved a double smiley).

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Just a little nostalgic bump.

 

[DemonLove]

2 questions from a computer illiterate:

1) I'm designing a sig.and it doesn't seem to be showing up anywhere but in my p.ms.Any idea why?
and 2)Someone once sent me a photo in a pm. How is this done?
Resist the understandable urge to be snarky.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

1) I can see your sig just fine hon. It reads:

AGATHOKAKOLOGICALLY INSANE

"Of course my heart is large. It would have to be,for me to dedicate myself to your liberation. But only a Demon can lead you out of hell.
So,make no mistake,you are trading one addiction for another."

2) I honestly don't know. I thought pics couldn't be sent by pm. The only thing I can think of is that maybe inserting the codes work even if you do so manually. ... so was I snarky? :p

 

[DemonLove]

1) I can see your sig just fine hon. It reads:

AGATHOKAKOLOGICALLY INSANE

"Of course my heart is large. It would have to be,for me to dedicate myself to your liberation. But only a Demon can lead you out of hell.
So,make no mistake,you are trading one addiction for another."

2) I honestly don't know. I thought pics couldn't be sent by pm. The only thing I can think of is that maybe inserting the codes work even if you do so manually. ... so was I snarky? :p[/QUOTE] Not in the least:) Glad you can see the sig(which is still under construction). The first line was intended to lure pretty whores for the polysyllable. Know any?

 

[MisterSir]

I was going to make up a silly question, but thinking about it I do have some I wouldn't mind an answer to - how do you accept compliments? I know it's just me, but no matter who it is or what they're saying, I ignore the face value and start diving into the subtext to search out some hidden joke or insult.

This is probably something with a really simple answer, but if so, it's going right over my head. Please help.

P.S: Dude, did you miss the words "Owned by and engaged to MajorMalfunction" at all?

 

[DemonLove]

Lol

I was going to make up a silly question, but thinking about it I do have some I wouldn't mind an answer to - how do you accept compliments? I know it's just me, but no matter who it is or what they're saying, I ignore the face value and start diving into the subtext to search out some hidden joke or insult.

This is probably something with a really simple answer, but if so, it's going right over my head. Please help.

P.S: Dude, did you miss the words "Owned by and engaged to MajorMalfunction" at all?

No "dude",didn't miss it at all.The questions were real. As far as the other part goes,she knows I'm joking(i.e. she knows that I am a fan and a "flirt").
Nice to see that velvet has friends looking out for her,but she really can handle herself.