ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[be_ignited]

I got that one, too!

HA

Hah. that's a relief. I was beginning to think something on my profile subtly said "This chick's into SCAT!"

 

[WriterDom]

If you shit on your webcam wouldn't it stop working???

 

[simply_subbie]

i was thinking about joining collarme but it sounds as if it may be a better idea to not join it.

If you shit on your webcam wouldn't it stop working???

hehehe

 

[Bandit58]

I changed my profile on collarme to a couples one, and I mysteriously stopped receiving messages from asshats

 

[ApprenticeApril]

hey - 07-09-2008, 02:44 PM
PM's are like teeth, if you ignore them they will go away.

Did it ever occur to you that people die of hunger....

I m just trying to make small talk here.. nothing else.. Hi i am ******..

and u r

um, I'm confused.
How does my signature have anything to do with people starving?

 

[WriterDom]

I was in a chatroom under this name and a guy obviously didn't read my profile and sent me a message, "lovely screenname"

I said, "I'm a guy."

"Oh, sorry man."

WriterDom is lovely? Guess that's his line with all the chicks.

 

[MelancholyBaby]

MelancholyBaby- I bet you'd hate to...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lay back, spread your hot legs and feel my tongue dancing all over your clit right now, wouldn't you?

Or aren't you that kind of girl?

As a matter of fact, no, I am not really that type of girl. I know it may seem hard to believe but random, mass-mailed PMs from strangers about giving me oral sex don't turn me on.

 

[satindesire]

heyy.,,.how are u.,,.,.i read your posts,..,,.you are pretty goood
do u have msn???

What posts of mine are you referring to?

also ,,hav to say.,,.,.u drive me crazyyyyyyyy

Mmhm.

Okay, here's the deal. Let's cut the bullshit. You probably read maybe one or two of my posts at the max. What you really did is lurk around in my pic thread jerking off to my pictures.

Now, while I would generally respect that, I know for a fact that you decided to PM me to see if I would have cyber sex with you, instead of keeping your masturbatory habits to yourself like a civilized human being.

Indeed, your lack of capitalization, your total unwillingness to spell out words in their entirety, and your outrageous disregard for punctuation has totally turned me off and made me quite disgusted by you. Anyone who so willingly bastardizes the English language as badly as you do is neither able nor worthy enough to partake in any sort of intimate contact with me.

EVER.

In short, Do not bother replying...because you will be speaking to the empty void that is my ignore list.

As a general rule, anyone with 0 posts gets an ignore. I should listen to my instincts instead of giving them a chance.

 

[Primalex]

I was in a chatroom under this name and a guy obviously didn't read my profile and sent me a message, "lovely screenname"

I said, "I'm a guy."

"Oh, sorry man."

WriterDom is lovely? Guess that's his line with all the chicks.

Most likely you behaved like a girl. No surprise.

 

[CurlyKat]

As a matter of fact, no, I am not really that type of girl. I know it may seem hard to believe but random, mass-mailed PMs from strangers about giving me oral sex don't turn me on.

Yep, got that one, too. Didn't bother responding at all, though it was tempting to just to ask what exactly made him think I was that type of girl. Read, laughed at the absurdity, and deleted.

 

[Etoile]

Well this is interesting. From a zero-post just-joined newbie:

yes,i found
Very important
http://www.maxoffice.org/show.php?t-SUM_function.html

What? (I clicked the link, it appears to be safe, but I use Firefox which is nice and protective.)

Excel stuff? Huh?

 

[jockdom]

Got my first unsolicited pm, Wooo hooo. Advertising real leather shoes.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

and there is no way to report PMs, that I saw.

 

[FurryFury]

I was in a chatroom under this name and a guy obviously didn't read my profile and sent me a message, "lovely screenname"

I said, "I'm a guy."

"Oh, sorry man."

WriterDom is lovely? Guess that's his line with all the chicks.

LMAO!

 

[WriterDom]

This was odd. Bitterness perhaps?

Just a heads up. I see that you are friends with xxxxxxxxxxx. That girl has been passed around the old aol bang rooms more than anyone else I know. If you need references just ask any male on her profile. They should be more than happy to supply glowing references. Maybe even give you some pointers on how to best do cam shows with her. Good luck with her.

 

[DVS]

DAMN, I got one! I mean I actually got one of these.

wish I could submit to you. How good are you with canes?Can you deliver sharp stings?accurately?

Well, not knowing you, I'd say I am very good with a cane. And as for delivering sharp stings accurately...as long as you don't move your ass out of position, I'm quite good at that, too. But, even if you move your ass, I can adjust my aim and deliver just the right amount of force, that you'll know I'm in charge.

Speaking of sharp stings, I'm more into electro-torture, and a violet wand can give you a very sharp sting. Maybe I should look into getting an electrified cane??


I'm wondering if this woman has had a difficult time in the past, finding someone who can properly wield a cane. I mean...it's not that difficult to deliver a stinging stroke. It's not like pizza delivery. You don't have to make change, and you don't even need a driver's license. And like I told her, as long as you don't move your ass too far, I'm going to make contact and it's going to sting...nothing but net!

OK, it wasn't really an asshat kind of message, but it was from a stranger and also the question was kind of...different. And I didn't mind the question, either. Maybe I wish she could submit to me, too.

Mpw I know what's involved in a free style caning punishment.. I'm wondering justwhat thos cure little Chinese gymnests are.

She just replied...

I do not know violet wand? I prefer a long thin whippy cane. I think it is the best for me.

Well, you should try to be versatile for your Dom. You might look into waht I violet wand can do for you or him.

And, it's just an idea. I'm not going to tie you down and cane your ass, if you don't.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I had one the other day that just went

"ARE YOU DIRTY? "

I never replied.

 

[Bandit58]

I had one the other day that just went

"ARE YOU DIRTY? "

I never replied.

You could have said "I guess so, I haven't showered yet"

 

[Harmony_1985]

I did consider it, but then I couldn't be bothered dealing with if he PMed back.

I assume it was a he.

 

[minx1]

I had one the other day that just went

"ARE YOU DIRTY? "

I never replied.

Raw had really gotta stop sending those

 

[Harmony_1985]

I know, I feel I know Rawry a little better than random guys, he could have got a bit more creative

 

[minx1]

I know, I feel I know Rawry a little better than random guys, he could have got a bit more creative

i know what you mean, but um,


no. He can't.


Spend some more time with him and you will realise you have to let go of any reasonable expectations *sigh* yup. Its true

 

[Harmony_1985]

Haha, we're going to be in trouble when he logs on.

 

[minx1]

Haha, we're going to be in trouble when he logs on.

Nah...it will be a while before he finds this.

He will be looking at the nuddies

 

[Harmony_1985]

Phew, we can keep causing mischief then!

Tee hee!!