Yep, I can relate to that. It is less of a problem with my ND friends, but it is still there.
Some autistic people are exceptionally sensitive to other people's emotions. Which can also be very uncomfortable, as it also applies to negative emotions.
I sometimes want to hug strangers but we're taught we shouldn't. I guess your son was beautifully unrestrained in that respect. Yes, perhaps a saint and certainly a gift. Thanks for sharing
I wouldn’t bother confronting.
Thanks, that's interesting. The problem is I suspect I can't see wood for trees atm.
I wouldn't confront anyone in a public space, I'd be absolutely too self-conscious.
Yups .... like when I confronted my neighbour about their noisy cockerels ( and I lost it a bit )
I suspect I would be in the angry and start crying camp. After that probably rigidly avoid that person because they had really hurt me.
I was going to say agender with a feminine lean, but that's inherently contradictory, so maybe NB with a feminine lean? It's a slight lean, most of the time not even really that to be honest, hence why I'm waffling between the two. But it still feels weird to consider myself this way, but it's only been a week since I really took it seriously. I mean, I've been myself for 37 years, in this body I was born with (for all the good's it's done me 
), with the gender and sex I was assigned at birth this whole time. So why stop being that now? I don't think I'd present differently, but it's still gnawing at me.
This part at times, yes. Kind of just living in my brain, and then even doing physical things is a bit hard. Especially when I'm exhausted or otherwise unwell.
I'm mildly surprised to learn that you think your physical challenges have increased the dissociation... that got me thinking.Hey, soooo...
~snip~
Anyway, curious if anyone else has felt like this. Is the non-gendered thinking more a product of being ND or physical ailments? I feel like the latter exaserbated the dissociation, but I also feel like it kinda existed beforehand. So if you've experienced it, to what extent did you experience it and how has it affected your sense of identity?
Lots going on there, sorry
Doesn't sound simplistic at all, it's more or less my theory. I also had a medication severe a lot of memory from emotion (accident, taking a migraine medication, turns out it's also used for PTSD if you do in it a controlled way when exposed to your fear, but I was taking it a couple times a day for three years, so... oops
Propranolol, fun stuff). So I imagine that definitely instigated a lot of it as well and probably made me further dissociate.
This sounds like part of a phenomena called "autigender". Autism can affect how we experience gender, even if it's the gender assigned at birth. We often don't conform to other norms, either, nor feel like belonging in mostly neurotypical groups.
That's interesting. I feel like I remember hearing about it at some point, but it seemed kind of strange at the time. Not sure how I feel about it now, to be honest. I'm struggling to reconcile the concept of gender, a social construct, with a neurological/developmental condition, autism. Not saying it's not valid, anyone can label themselves however they want, that's fine by me, none of my business. But for me, it feels like a mixing of two different classifications of being, whereas gender ought to be distinct.
Brain doesn't really much care for my neat categorizations, damn thing 
Whoops. Pathological Demand Avoidance, I think is what you're talking about. I could see how that might impact one's sense of gender, everyone telling you to be a girl this way, when you just want to make sure your crayon drawer is color-coded, and the blue pants fit much nicer than some silly dress.
But you're stuck with one measuring tool ( your brain ) for different categorisations - like using a ruler to measure pH or salinity! The social con of gender can only be measured by other people in any case: we have to learn the rules and fashion changes the rules constantly. My fucked up sense of gender is reinforced by society but my mother tells me I was girly from the get-go: I made the blue toy trains have tea-parties.That's interesting. I feel like I remember hearing about it at some point, but it seemed kind of strange at the time. Not sure how I feel about it now, to be honest. I'm struggling to reconcile the concept of gender, a social construct, with a neurological/developmental condition, autism. Not saying it's not valid, anyone can label themselves however they want, that's fine by me, none of my business. But for me, it feels like a mixing of two different classifications of being, whereas gender ought to be distinct.
I like neat categorizations, which, you know, sucks for these kinds of things where it's all subjective based on lived experience
My hand up too - didn't know PDA, but now I wish I didn't because I'm going to have to think about it and how stubborn I get if someone asks me to do something. Quick answer is that I think I was more 'reflex-stubborn' as a kid.I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what PDA was. Was trying to figure out how public displays of affection played into it
Aha! Isn't everyone yapping about gut-brain these days?! Maybe it's a UK thing? ( Our gut is now regarded as a simple brain and can carry on working without the brain ) I suspect it's research sponsored by Yakult.Probably will be one of those things I sit with for a bit, let it percolate. But I appreciate everyone's feedback. Just wanted a bit of a gut check, poke around some anecdata, small survey, reactions, etc.
It's not always pathologica/extreme (EDA is also used). Some level of demand avoidance is common among us. The extreme affects even things you want to do, not just what you're told or asked to do.
You can use a ruler to measure pH. Stick the ruler in a vat of liquids, if it disintegrates, it's acid! Salinity, you scoop up water, lick it, and see how salty it is. Probably better tools, thoughBut you're stuck with one measuring tool ( your brain ) for different categorisations - like using a ruler to measure pH or salinity! The social con of gender can only be measured by other people in any case: we have to learn the rules and fashion changes the rules constantly. My fucked up sense of gender is reinforced by society but my mother tells me I was girly from the get-go: I made the blue toy trains have tea-parties.
My hand up too - didn't know PDA, but now I wish I didn't because I'm going to have to think about it and how stubborn I get if someone asks me to do something. Quick answer is that I think I was more 'reflex-stubborn' as a kid.
Aha! Isn't everyone yapping about gut-brain these days?! Maybe it's a UK thing? ( Our gut is now regarded as a simple brain and can carry on working without the brain ) I suspect it's research sponsored by Yakult.
Not just measuring but experiencing tool. Autism can affect basically anything we experience.
I want to park the Patriarchy word somewhere, as that is a deconstructionist concept, and deal with the much more straightforward idea male stereotyping. The U.S. has a very particular male stereotype which tends to exalt some of the less desirable aspects of maleness including a toxic form of competitiveness that manifests in all sorts of ways such as 'How many girls have you laid?' Etc., etc. I call it the He-Man culture, and I want nothing to do with it.
But male stereotype model is only about men. Patriarchy affects both gender models.
