Being autistic, adhd and random stuff

[stickygirl]

What I love about this thread is that it isn’t political or pornographic

 

[Strixaluco]

What I love about this thread is that it isn’t political or pornographic

Same, same...

 

[Strixaluco]

As I read it, my immediate question was 'what about level 3 autism?'

Yes, they aren't really properly functional in any kind of society. But already level 2 could do more in agricultural society than in modern society (probably just labeled weird/stupid/eccentric). Not that it proves autism being "the original normal" in any way. Society used to be much easier for everyone.

The reasoning regarding dyslexia and dyscalculia is much more sound. And there are other theories saying the hunter-gatherer group gained from  some members having autism and adhd. Not necessarily all. Just like there may be benefits for a species from homosexual individuals existing.

In short, we have become more noticable, though I am not sure how that fits with level-3 autistics.

To my knowledge, the rates of level 3 autistics haven't risen since 80s. The main difference is with level 1 which was recognised late overall, and badly even much later.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I have a lot of issues with this. First and foremost how much of it was clearly written by AI. But that's fine, everyone's doing it these days, who cares? Me.

As for the premise, I agree with @stickygirl, it's shaping data to fit a narrative. One where "We're perfect, NTs are the broken ones." Don't buy it. Neurodiverse traits tend to be overactivations of adaptive behaviors. Things like hyperattention and spatial awareness are evolutionarily beneficial, but NTs have that. NDs have it to the point where it becomes problematic, hence why it's classified as a disorder. It interferes with our ability to function within the confines of existing society, to varying degrees, and some of us are better at finding adaptations than others, but it doesn't mean it's not hard as hell sometimes.

The whole "society is a construct, and auties are magic fairy folk like humans were bred to be," is silly, and ignores the current reality. Some of the "skills" we have come at the severe detriment of social skills, which is evolutionarily the MOST important skill homo sapiens needed, as a hunter-gather society for 300k years, with units up to 150 people. Having difficulty socializing would have almost certainly led to being cast out, and death, and make gene selection for these traits less ready. The fact that we see an increase in disorders as medicine has improved (with notable exceptions, to be sure, as with any genetic variability) speaks to the fact that we've made it easier for people who would've otherwise perished and not be able to spread those genes to be able to do so, and so increase the prevalence of gene types that, plopped 50k years ago, would've resulted in a genetic dead end.

Which is not to say that we wouldn't let these genes proliferate: I would be dead so many, many times over if I'd been born even 5 years earlier. I like existing. I like how weird and wonderful our world is. But to try to push off ND as the norm just flies in the face of anything other than activist feel-goodery. We don't have to be the "norm" to be fucking awesome. We just are

 

[Strixaluco]

It interferes with our ability to function within the confines of existing society,

Not only that, though. In themodern world my sensory sensitivities are a problem. However, my sensitive hearing also makes me musical and helps me learn languages - a definite advantage. Same with acute eyesight for colour tones, and there are others.

Every single strength I have is tied tied to my autism. The biggest one is probably the quick brain capacity, making connections widely between things etc. (I've slept badly and describing it badly here.) It makes learning anything easier.

Being ND is far from being just at disadvantage, though some of us get it that way.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Not only that, though. In themodern world my sensory sensitivities are a problem. However, my sensitive hearing also makes me musical and helps me learn languages - a definite advantage. Same with acute eyesight for colour tones, and there are others.

Every single strength I have is tied tied to my autism. The biggest one is probably the quick brain capacity, making connections widely between things etc. (I've slept badly and describing it badly here.) It makes learning anything easier.

Being ND is far from being just at disadvantage, though some of us get it that way.

A lot of us mid-to-high-functioning auts have a lot of strengths that come from our ND. A lot of that comes from framing it. Someone who sees it purely as a negative overlooks the strengths and pluses, and those that frame it as purely a "wow, it's so awesome" overlook the downsides. I've had several friends say they wish they were on the spectrum, because it sounds so magical and different, not really considering all the issues that can come with it. They just wanted the label of being special and the "superpowers." Guarantee you all of them would be asking for their money back if they realized what it was actually like.

 

[stickygirl]

A lot of us mid-to-high-functioning auts have a lot of strengths that come from our ND. A lot of that comes from framing it. Someone who sees it purely as a negative overlooks the strengths and pluses, and those that frame it as purely a "wow, it's so awesome" overlook the downsides. I've had several friends say they wish they were on the spectrum, because it sounds so magical and different, not really considering all the issues that can come with it. They just wanted the label of being special and the "superpowers." Guarantee you all of them would be asking for their money back if they realized what it was actually like.

Urgh - the superpower meme... Maybe Superman has dreadful IBS and anxiety attacks we don't see on screen?

Online, I challenged the newly diagnosed footballer, Lucy Bronze, who characterised her sports skills as her superpower, only to be met with stfu's by other fans because they wanted the fairy-tale version of autism. In some respects, if successful auties describe themselves that way, it does give hope to ND kids who feel they are destined to be failures. Fairy-tales are fine for kids, but adults too often suck the saccharine and ignore the range of bitter tasting downsides. I shouldn't say that selective truth is a superpower for NTs... but it is a superpower for NTs

No one is average at everything - there will be some innate talents that contribute to their life, whether they are NTs or NDs. What is conveniently ignored is that the hyperfocused ND researcher will ignore opportunities in her social life that will provide her with comfort when she eventually burns out.

I'm preaching to the converted
The take away is that I've had to accept making a fist in my pocket when I hear the words 'autistic superpower' and pretend is okay.

 

[PMarky2]

The most uncomfortable thing for me, since diagnosis, has been the increasing awareness that ASD and ADHD colour every aspect of who I am, both positive and negative, and sets up a lot of contradictions in the way in operate. One of the most uncomfortable is craving affection, but finding it desperately difficult to show any myself. I feel it, but find it difficult to express. Touch is another area fraught with difficulties - sometimes I like to be held, and sometimes I do not want anyone anywhere near me thank-you-very-much. I often want to hug BAF, but feel I should not unless I have a written invitation, though we give one another 'eye-hugs' occasionally when one is 150% onboard with what the other is trying to say.

In all honesty, I dislike the ADHD side more than the Autistic because it makes me lose a lot of what otherwise productive time.

More later...

 

[stickygirl]

A bit frivolous, but my bf just remarked I'd spent 45 mins on Amazon & ebay & elsewhere trying to find an exact match for a particular type of biro I really like. The old ones are running out of ink. It should be easy, right? I didn't attempt to explain that my fav ones write well ( not too much friction, good flow of ink ), have a smooth cap that feels nice in my mouth, the click is good and is a perfect stim... but I couldn't find any online.

 

[env789]

A bit frivolous, but my bf just remarked I'd spent 45 mins on Amazon & ebay & elsewhere trying to find an exact match for a particular type of biro I really like. The old ones are running out of ink. It should be easy, right? I didn't attempt to explain that my fav ones write well ( not too much friction, good flow of ink ), have a smooth cap that feels nice in my mouth, the click is good and is a perfect stim... but I couldn't find any online.

That's so real, though. You find something that works and need to go all in on it ... Only for the manufacturer to rudely change things or discontinue a product!

I have a ton of sensory issues, and this is a constant challenge with clothing especially, given how frequently that stuff changes!

 

[Strixaluco]

That's so real, though. You find something that works and need to go all in on it ... Only for the manufacturer to rudely change things or discontinue a product!

And it happens with everything!

 

[Strixaluco]

A bit frivolous, but my bf just remarked I'd spent 45 mins on Amazon & ebay & elsewhere trying to find an exact match for a particular type of biro I really like. The old ones are running out of ink. It should be easy, right? I didn't attempt to explain that my fav ones write well ( not too much friction, good flow of ink ), have a smooth cap that feels nice in my mouth, the click is good and is a perfect stim... but I couldn't find any online.

Have you tried fountain pens? I got my first this year, and I'm sold, it's so comfy to write with it. And I won't need to replace it... Just buying refills which tend to be in production for decades. I'm even considering buying a converter so that I can just refill from an ink bottle.

And then I could try different inks from different manufacturers, too. Of course I also plan on getting more than one to have more than one ink colour simultaneously.

 

[stickygirl]

Have you tried fountain pens? I got my first this year, and I'm sold, it's so comfy to write with it. And I won't need to replace it... Just buying refills which tend to be in production for decades. I'm even considering buying a converter so that I can just refill from an ink bottle.

And then I could try different inks from different manufacturers, too. Of course I also plan on getting more than one to have more than one ink colour simultaneously.

I've got two fountain pens, but both covered in dust, so perhaps it's time to give them a whirl? In general though, I always have a pen with me to scribble notes and a fountain might let me down by running out of ink.
Just a mo' ... I've given one a quick wash and loaded some more ink. It is a very different experience. I think the other one is italic, which I found a bit difficult. Fun!

 

[Strixaluco]

I've got two fountain pens, but both covered in dust, so perhaps it's time to give them a whirl? In general though, I always have a pen with me to scribble notes and a fountain might let me down by running out of ink.
Just a mo' ... I've given one a quick wash and loaded some more ink. It is a very different experience. I think the other one is italic, which I found a bit difficult. Fun!

It won't run out of ink any sooner than other pens. And cartridges can be switched on the go!

I already realised I want a finer nibble for my calendar. But those can be switched, too.

I really like not having to find new items, being able to keep using the ones I have and have found good.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I would be shocked if this topic hasn't come up at all... But I recently lost about 25% of my weight, back to something healthy, even a bit less than pre-Covid. Now I'm freaking swimming in all my outfits, and I could NOT be happier. Super-loose clothing

Sure, I had to buy stuff that actually fits me, but I've never been all that big on clothing, I just wanted to be comfortable. So comfy now

 

[env789]

I would be shocked if this topic hasn't come up at all... But I recently lost about 25% of my weigh, back to something healthy, even a bit less than pre-Covid. Now I'm freaking swimming in all my outfits, and I could NOT be happier. Super-loose clothing

Sure, I had to buy stuff that actually fits me, but I've never been all that big on clothing, I just wanted to be comfortable. So comfy now

My favorite thing about being a fully remote worker is that I can dress for comfort. No more spending 9 hours a day in stiff chinos and a shirt with a collar that perpetually irritates my neck.

 

[anthrodisiac]

My favorite thing about being a fully remote worker is that I can dress for comfort. No more spending 9 hours a day in stiff chinos and a shirt with a collar that perpetually irritates my neck.

I'm fortunate my place is hybrid, and pretty casual. No need to bother with ill-fitting "professional" clothing. Nice, easy, breezy clothes. Still, not quite as comfy as when I'm at home, where nothing has buttons and everything is elastic It's nice not having to look nice.

 

[stickygirl]

I would be shocked if this topic hasn't come up at all... But I recently lost about 25% of my weight, back to something healthy, even a bit less than pre-Covid. Now I'm freaking swimming in all my outfits, and I could NOT be happier. Super-loose clothing

Sure, I had to buy stuff that actually fits me, but I've never been all that big on clothing, I just wanted to be comfortable. So comfy now

When you say you're swimming, do you mean splash, swimming or rocking it swimming?
You wouldn't want to swim is something tailored because it might shrink
But fleece would be okay
I'm looking forward to wearing more summer dresses... do I have the courage to go into Primark?

 

[anthrodisiac]

When you say you're swimming, do you mean splash, swimming or rocking it swimming?
You wouldn't want to swim is something tailored because it might shrink
But fleece would be okay
I'm looking forward to wearing more summer dresses... do I have the courage to go into Primark?

I mean like I'm drowning in how much outfit there is compared to my body It's so much roomier.

Luckily, not actually drowning

 

[stickygirl]

I mean like I'm drowning in how much outfit there is compared to my body It's so much roomier.

Luckily, not actually drowning

I usually wear a boiler suit at work and I have once or twice, in hot weather, worn skimpy UW under it and none of the guys know.
Not sure what Americans call boiler suits - much suits, coveralls, onesies?

 

[anthrodisiac]

I usually wear a boiler suit at work and I have once or twice, in hot weather, worn skimpy UW under it and none of the guys know.
Not sure what Americans call boiler suits - much suits, coveralls, onesies?

Coveralls.

Though the idea of a mechanic wearing a baby's onesie is really amusing me right now...