best lube for anal sex

[James G 5]

Oh, wow, they think I'm a tease.



S.

So disabuse us of the notion
Put out

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: Re: astroglide or wet

Well, sometimes sex makes up for a things...and my Gawd, but really good anal makes up for damn near ANYTHING.

S.

Letsee, I just wasted an entire paycheck on chrome bits for "that stupid car." She keeps glancing at the closet where we store the luggage. I guess I'll just have to throw her down and ravish her every orifice for the next two hours until she forgives me.

Oh yeah, that'll teach me.

 

[sheath]

So disabuse us of the notion
Put out

Now that would be a direct violation of my angelic, virginal manner, now wouldn't it?

S.

 

[James G 5]

Now that would be a direct violation of my angelic, virginal manner, now wouldn't it?

S.

DAMMIT WOMAN
Do you have ANY idea how expensive these fancy wireless keyboards are???

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: astroglide or wet

Letsee, I just wasted an entire paycheck on chrome bits for "that stupid car." She keeps glancing at the closet where we store the luggage. I guess I'll just have to throw her down and ravish her every orifice for the next two hours until she forgives me.

Oh yeah, that'll teach me.

Not EVERY orifice.

And not for two hours.

Only one orifice required, and six hours sounds like a good start.

S.

 

[BlueSugar]

DAMMIT WOMAN
Do you have ANY idea how expensive these fancy wireless keyboards are???

I haven't read the thread yet (and might not bc I know the answer to this Q) BUT ...

::....points and laughs at another of Jame's broken keyboards!!::


it had to be done.

 

[sheath]

DAMMIT WOMAN
Do you have ANY idea how expensive these fancy wireless keyboards are???

LOL

Naw, but I'm sure we could come up with some sort of arrangement for making up for the cost...

I'll even supply the lube.

S.

 

[midwestyankee]

LOL

Naw, but I'm sure we could come up with some sort of arrangement for making up for the cost...

I'll even supply the lube.

S.

Hmmm...I broke my mouse....

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: astroglide or wet

Not EVERY orifice.

And not for two hours.

Only one orifice required, and six hours sounds like a good start.

S.

Damn, you don't come cheap, do you?

[Goin' for the buttons on my 501's] Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Any chance you're confusing "angelic" with "succubus"?

Reminds me of an old GF who was just too horny to be a good tease. She'd put on a sexy outfit to do a strip show for me and by the time she got the top undone we'd be going at it on the couch.

Hmmm, maybe that was my fault.

 

[James G 5]

LOL

Naw, but I'm sure we could come up with some sort of arrangement for making up for the cost...

I'll even supply the lube.

S.

So much for angelic & virginal

 

[sheath]

Hmmm...I broke my mouse....

Now who's the tease?

S.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: astroglide or wet

Damn, you don't come cheap, do you?

[Goin' for the buttons on my 501's] Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Any chance you're confusing "angelic" with "succubus"?

Reminds me of an old GF who was just too horny to be a good tease. She'd put on a sexy outfit to do a strip show for me and by the time she got the top undone we'd be going at it on the couch.

Hmmm, maybe that my fault.

Hey, I did say six hours was just a START.

Hmmm...succubus...a demon having sex with sleeping men...Nope, they are always awake. At least by the time I'm done with them...

But that just blows the 'angelic' cover too, right?

*sigh*

S.

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: astroglide or wet

But that just blows the 'angelic' cover too, right?

Try batting your eyelashes innocently. It works for me.

The pigtails and uniform are completely optional.

Uh, for you, not for me.

No, I don't mean I *have* to wear them.

Oh, never mind.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: astroglide or wet

Try batting your eyelashes innocently. It works for me.

The pigtails and uniform are completely optional.

Uh, for you, not for me.

No, I don't mean I *have* to wear them.

Oh, never mind.

Uh huh.

Makes me see those pink Zingers in a whole new way...



S. (batting eyelashes innocently)

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Hehehe, virginal and innocent... Oooohkay, you forget who's in the room half the time you and Ang are on the phone babe.

Oh yeah... and avoid Nutty Ho-Hos... just kinda sounds bad ya know?

J

 

[midwestyankee]

Now who's the tease?

S.

I don't recall every suggesting anyone was a tease...but from where I sit, a tease is better than a night off.

The real question on this thread ought to be, what's the best lubricant for the mind.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

The real question on this thread ought to be, what's the best lubricant for the mind. [/B][/QUOTE]

Killians Irish Red... I try to keep my brain floating in a nice protective layer of it at all times.

 

[midwestyankee]

The real question on this thread ought to be, what's the best lubricant for the mind.

Killians Irish Red... I try to keep my brain floating in a nice protective layer of it at all times. [/B][/QUOTE]

Sounds good to me.

I would have said a decent scotch, but ever since I introduced the wife to it my scotch bills have gone out of sight.

Then again, a decent australian red wine (much less expensive than Californian or European of the same quality) seems to work pretty well to get her going face up.

 

[SlowGuy]

Uh huh.

Makes me see those pink Zingers in a whole new way...



S. (batting eyelashes innocently)

[Quickly changing the topic]

We have wandered pretty far from the original topic, so here's a summary for those of you just joining us and those keeping score at home.

This thread summary brought to by Butter: "If it's good enough for Brando..."

Q: What is the best lube to use when having anal sex with wife?

Brand recommendations:
(7x) Wet Platinum
(3x) Slippery Stuff Gel
(2x) Astroglide
(2x) Maximus
(2x) Soap
(2x) Spit*
(1x) Anal Eze
(1x) Astroglide gel
(1x) Baby-oil
(1x) KY (Wal-mart brand)
(1x) SYLK

(* Note: respondents may have answered differently if question was about anal sex w/GF)

General recommendations:
(3x) gel form
(2x) water-based

Concerns expressed:
Putting silicone in the body.
Astroglide reg. dries out too quickly. Gel form is available.
Anesthetic properties of Anal Eze hiding pain warnings.
Oil and condoms / rubber toys don't mix. Can cause health problems if used vaginally.
Silicone-based lubes can break down silicon toys.
Soap/shampoo/conditioner can contain perfumes and other stuff that can irritate the colon.

Misc. comments:

A call goes out for volunteers for a head-to-head lube test. (Do those Consumer Reports doughnuts remind you of anything?)

Helpful hint for those of you with a "gaping" problem: Soap-on-a-rope won't get lost during anal sex.

A how to handle Rangers digression (Taser and lots of Hostess Ho-Hos) led to an extended aside on the relative merits of various creme-filled confections, the Chinese Zodiac, why the ladies bother to keep men around, ("...my Gawd, but really good anal makes up for damn near ANYTHING."), and the benefits of digital warm-up exercises before anal sex.

It then rambled on to ineffectual attempts to look like a tease, the difference between angels vs. succubi, schoolgirl uniforms, the phallic properties of Zingers, ruined keyboards and broken mice, mental lubricants and the relative merits of different types of alcohol.

We now return you to your thread already in progress...

 

[sheath]

Q: What is the best lube to use when having anal sex with wife?

Brand recommendations:
(6x) Wet Platinum
(3x) Slippery Stuff Gel
(2x) Astroglide
(2x) Maximus
(2x) Soap
(2x) Spit*
(1x) Anal Eze
(1x) Astroglide gel
(1x) Baby-oil
(1x) KY (Wal-mart brand)
(1x) SYLK

(* Note: respondents may have answered differently if question was about anal sex w/GF)

General recommendations:
(3x) gel form
(2x) water-based

But you forgot the most surprising part of all...

That you actually took the time to go back through this thread and get the STATS.

Somebody is incredibly bored.

S.

 

[CelticFrog]

Make that 7x for Wet Platinum. Love it. Lots.

So who's gonna get me and sheath the innocent schoolgirl outfits? The ones with the plaid skirts. And white thigh highs.

Sheath, will you do me a favor and put my hair into even pigtails? That's like a huge pet peeve for me.

Um.... oh yeah. *bats eyelashes innocently*

What else..... gotta make sure I pass the test...

Oil and condoms / rubber toys don't mix. Can cause health problems if used vaginally.

Is that to say pregnancy is a health problem...?

Hehehe, virginal and innocent... Oooohkay, you forget who's in the room half the time you and Ang are on the phone babe.

Okay, it's not like you pay attention. Unless we're specifically talking about sex. And even then sometimes I have to get your attention first. So your being in the room doesn't necessarily count.

But that just blows the 'angelic' cover too, right?

Blowing can indeed ruin the 'angelic' cover. So can sucking.

Okay, I think I'm done for a bit.


Ang

 

[SlowGuy]

But you forgot the most surprising part of all...

That you actually took the time to go back through this thread and get the STATS.

Somebody is incredibly bored.

S.

You aren't going say how anal that was?

Actually, I'm trying to set the record for most words expended to reach 100 posts. It's not fair that Lit tracks posts/day, but not words/post. [petulantly stamping foot]

 

[CelticFrog]

So can you give us a dissertation on the correllation between being anal retentive and not using enough/the correct lube?


Ang

(you've only got six to go)

 

[SlowGuy]

Make that 7x for Wet Platinum. Love it. Lots.

Consider it done.

So who's gonna get me and sheath the innocent schoolgirl outfits? The ones with the plaid skirts. And white thigh highs.

Bartender, white cotton panties for everybody!

Sheath, will you do me a favor and put my hair into even pigtails? That's like a huge pet peeve for me.

I've never done pigtails, but if you're one of those naughty schoolgirls, I know how to splice rope. [evil grin]

Blowing can indeed ruin the 'angelic' cover. So can sucking.

That's the great thing about Lit, if you manage to restrain yourself, someone else will just blurt it out.

-- Slo

 

[sheath]

You aren't going say how anal that was?

Actually, I'm trying to set the record for most words expended to reach 100 posts. It's not fair that Lit tracks posts/day, but not words/post. [petulantly stamping foot]

I was anal. But seriously, all joking aside...it must have taken a LOT of time to formulate that post!

S.