Bi and married?

[SweetCherry]

I've been thinking a lot on this subject myself as of late. What I've realized is this:

Bi and married means just that. Bi and married. I don't see bi as a right to have a male and a female partner. It just means that it's a little bit more difficult to find one person to make you truly happy. While sexuality is a major part of who we are, as humans, it's not ALL we are. The emotion of love feels the same.. When a person is in love, be they bi, gay or straight, it shouldn't matter.

I realize that there are all sorts of relationships out there. Open marriages aren't unheard of, but something like that would never work for me. For me, I want everything I need to come from ONE person, not one person of each gender.

 

[The Lorax]

Thumbs up

Well said, SweetCherry. Well said.

 

[SweetCherry]

Re: Thumbs up

Well said, SweetCherry. Well said.

Thank you.

 

[chrk]

married bisexual

i am married and like to preform oral on another male. when i started having those thoughts i told my wife what i wanted. we talked about it, and after talking she realized it had nothing to do with love. she's comfortable about my encounters, and i make sure she always knows she is the most important person in my life. i never deny her time with me to be with a man.

 

[Dweezil44]

To me it is a monogamy/fidelity issue, too.

Emotions are too unpredicatble to risk screwing up a good thing, you know?

D--

 

[screamingskull]

My best friend is married but his wife does not know about it.

But came close to finding out she decieded to come home for lunch we were in the garage i was giving him a blow job when we heard her call out for him he zipped up quick.

But when she went back to work we went to the bedroom and had the best time.

 

[screamingskull]

I've been thinking a lot on this subject myself as of late. What I've realized is this:

Bi and married means just that. Bi and married. I don't see bi as a right to have a male and a female partner. It just means that it's a little bit more difficult to find one person to make you truly happy. While sexuality is a major part of who we are, as humans, it's not ALL we are. The emotion of love feels the same.. When a person is in love, be they bi, gay or straight, it shouldn't matter.

I realize that there are all sorts of relationships out there. Open marriages aren't unheard of, but something like that would never work for me. For me, I want everything I need to come from ONE person, not one person of each gender.

My friends wife does not give him enough sex so he comes to me for more but not to another women so we don't think of it as cheatng.

 

[SweetCherry]

My friends wife does not give him enough sex so he comes to me for more but not to another women so we don't think of it as cheatng.

IMO, if she's unaware, it IS cheating.

 

[screamingskull]

IMO, if she's unaware, it IS cheating.

It might be considered cheating but i he will not leave her for me he oves her if he was having sex with another women he may decide to leaver then.

We are best friends that like to have sex together and no more.

 

[SweetCherry]

It might be considered cheating but i he will not leave her for me he oves her if he was having sex with another women he may decide to leaver then.

We are best friends that like to have sex together and no more.

There are men who have mistresses for 10 or more years, behind their wives backs who have no intention of ever leaving their wives. I don't see this as any different than that. I'm not judging you because of what you do, just stating my opinion that it's cheating because you're having sex with someone outside of your marriage without her knowledge or consent.

 

[becca_59]

This is a huge issue for me. I'm married, but in the past I've had wonderful experiences with other women. Since I've been married, it's been over three years, I haven't been with anyone other than my husband.

My desires for a woman are strong. My husband knows this. He knew it going into our marriage. We've discussed it many times, and we are open and honest enough to both admit that I have some sexual frustrations as a result of these feelings.

I'm at the point now that I don't know if it's best to suppress the desires so that they don't manifest into actions, to use my very vivid imagination to fantasize, or to give in to those desires. Some days I think I have the answers, then the next day, I find that I'm questioning myself again.

 

[StrawberryPez]

I have been having this sort of problem as well lately. It's been a while since I was with a woman. I have recently told my boyfriend that I have been having feelings toward one of my bi female friends. Whenever I'm around her I crave kissing her, though I've found that ever since I told him about this, I haven't wanted to actually kiss her as much. To me telling him has made me feel better. He gives me everything I need and he understands that when I crave being with a woman it's something he can satisfy. But like other people have said, I'm with him and no one else. I certainly don't mind telling him what I'd love to do to her and having some seriously hot sex with him afterwards.

 

[maleorfemale]

I am a married bisexual man.After 22 years of marrige my wife and I decided to live out our fantasies of a mmf 3some,she loves it and so do I,it has brought about a new openess to our marrige.
We are much more open with our feelings then ever before,we
only play together,for us it is a trust issue.
We trust each other in all areas of our lives,my wife is my best friend and I am hers.
I would never cheat on my wife,nor she on me.I make love to
my wife and have sex with men,and she makes love to me and has sex with other men,we go out and meet them together,get to know them,become friends first-we do not like one night stands.
Our sex life is outstanding,it was never bad in the 24 years we have been together.We are like 2 teenagers in 40 year old bodies.
We both like the same type of guys tall dark and handsome and
enjoy our time spent seeking other men,we are going on a date
this weekend to meet someone new.
My wife is the most amazing woman I have ever meet,last night when I told her so,she said no it was me that was amazing-how many other guys would let there wives have sex with another
man.All I know is that we are having the time of our lives,we
just fell in love with each other all over again

 

[Bandit58]

I was married for 23 years. My husband didn't and still doesn't know I am bi. I didn't know myself when I married him at 19 years old. I'd had an attraction to a friend of mine in high school, but being from a small town and very shy and inhibited I was so ashamed of any sexual feelings that I pushed it all away and shut the closet door on it. Now and again it would surface in my fantasies and I would get so aroused.....but then I'd get all ashamed again and try not to think about it....

The marriage ended last year and I had a lot of time to think. I met a wonderful man online who helped me so much, and when I confided in him he was so supportive and open and more important accepting......I'd never felt that from anyone before. The relationship has had to turn into a friendship recently (no one's fault, just circumstances against us ) but we still talk and who knows what the future holds.....

I'm much more confident in my sexuality now. I was with a woman for the first time a couple of months ago (in a 3some with another male friend) and I felt at peace with myself for the first time ever. That's not quite the right words, but I'm sure you know what I mean......

My ideal relationship would be with someone who loves me enough to let me be ME......whether we play together or separately. Communication, honesty and love.....am I asking too much??

 

[Born2BWild]

I know I am a newbe here but if I may interject here for a moment and speak from a husbands point of veiw who is mairried to a wounderful woman who happens to be BI.

It took here almost 16 yrs of our marage ( of which is now going on 20 ) for her to admit to me she was Bi, For some years I had susspected she was but did not push the issue with her.

We spent countless hours sitting in bed at night discussing how she felt about it and also how I felt. I love my wife dearly and the way I feel is that instead of making her subdue her feelings because of me, She should do what she felt was right for her.

I want my wife to be happy and do to this our marrage has lasted most things that would destroy a normal marrage, including my infadelitys with other women.

I let my wife have her time with other women because I totaly trust her as she does me, we keep no secrets from each other now that all the cards are on the table. She has reashured me I am the ONLY MAN she wants, but she needs the softness of a woman at times, and yes she shares that moment with me when it happens.

Yes its hard for her to find another woman as stated earlier in a post by someone else to want to be involved with a married couple with no strings attached. But honestly I feel its totaly up to the couple or partners as to what they will allow in their bedrooms. ok I have rambled enough thank you all for your time

 

[Effigy]

I know I am a newbe here but if I may interject here for a moment

Thankyou very much, kind sir.

 

[Born2BWild]

Thankyou very much, kind sir.

U are most welcome, hope it might have helped to shed some light on the matter here at hand

 

[versatile1]

I am a bisexual man married for nearly 20 years. When we were dating, I told her that I was curious and she was fine with that. A few years later we had a 3 some with another guy and I got to suck his cock. I absolutely loved it. She seemed to enjoy the experience too. Unfortunately, he had second thoughts later, and we never got to repeat the experience.

It has been many years since that experience and I have been extremely frustrated. I could not have another experience with another guy unless she specifically consented to the idea (she has not, nor do I think she would), or unless she was part of it.

She is open to another threesome or (foursome with another couple), but insists that it not be set up—like using personal ads. She wants it to be spontaneous, and with people that we care about. Needless to say—it’s not likely to happen. Maybe I’ll luck out someday. We do rent cabins—who knows might come up?

A few years back—a couple of gay guys rented from us. They were extremely hot and I think they knew I thought so. One kept finding reasons to have me over to take care of something or another. I so wanted to sink to my knees in front of him and take him in my mouth. I couldn't do it because iI wanted to remain faithful to my wife.

At least she is open to watching bi and gay porn with me once in awhile.

Why am I writing this? I don’t know, but I am soooo frustrated.

 

[Sillyman]

Insecurities are going to plague any relationship, and this is just another one of them. For the insecure, it will be a problem since you realize your partner is attracted to a much wider range so no one is really "safe". Communication and self-assurance is very important, and if you are the bi individual I would reccomend frequently soothing your partners concerns, even if they aren't always manifest.


People who have lost a lover to a different sex are going to be naturally more suspicious and have a harder time accepting things. If that's the case you have a long road ahead of you.

 

[cuervorose]

It's a situation thing

It all depends on you, your SO and the "other" person. Hubby and I have a open marriage all around and it doesn't bother us. He's open to the fact that I want a "girlfriend" as well as having him, as long as she doesn't get more attention that he does. It's just hard to find a woman who would be OK with that....*sigh*

Drama....

 

[Lady Adoria]

Just my humble opinion...

I am married and have been for 5 years now. We have swung in the past and probably will in the future. With the exception of once we have always done it all together. I am bi and so is he. For the longest time I have searched for another female to be with either just her and I or with her joining us. I would have to agree that the stigmata of joining a married couple really sux. I mean I guess I can understand, not wanting to get involved as ultimately what can they give you in the end? Trust is always a big issue and communication. If you have those two things, all other things are irrelevant.

 

[Mrs.H]

My husband is SOOOOO turned on by the fact that I am bi.

He just absolutely loves it. We will both be watching a porno together getting off on the same girl.

My first bi experience, he was there. He cheered me on and had every fantasy fulfilled.

I have been with other women without him but, with his knowledge and complete approval.

If I am honest and he knows everything? Neither of us would EVER consider that cheating.

Secrets only create chaos.

 

[SecretWindow]

My wife does not know I'm bi. I've contemplated telling her many, many times and have come very close to telling her on several occasions. But, I've always held back because I know that her reaction would be completely negative. You can always gauge a person's reaction when the subject comes up and I know she wouldn't understand and could never accept it.

I know that readers probably would say something like "is the relationship worth it if you can't be yourself or be honest with each other" or something like that... but when you have a family, that's not always an option.

 

[rakastuja]

I dont know about heteros but Im bi and I have relationship with a person, not with genitals.

Sorry about the tone but I find this subject more or less ridiculous and yet it always comes up. I wonder if some hetero guy likes... lets say... blond women and brunettes. Can he have a relationship with just one woman? How can a blond girl trust her man when she knows he likes brunettes too? Can that man live without getting his brunette-lust satisfied? (Ok.. corny example but you get the picture)

I think everyone in relationships have some fantasies about things outside relationships. That doesnt have to mean anything.

I think everyone in relationships have sexual interests to something else that own partner is. That either doesnt have to mean anything.

Sure there are lots of bisexuals who feel need to cheat their partners or who are not satisfied with just one partner. But so there are heteros and gays too. I dont think it can be blamed on bisexuality but personality or poor relationship.

 

[John Doe]

i actually was thinking of starting a thread about this sort of thing

im not sure if i could be with a bi person because i'd have trust issues and that maybe they would always be longing for something i couldn't give them

That's true in many relationships. You rarely get everything you want, but you can still be happy.