Bi-sexuality

[drakes_girls69]

Hey, what comes around goes around. I like to consider myself a pacifist, but genetically, I'm a little prone to violence myself, unfortunately sometimes it's the only answer.

On a happier note, I noticed you mentioned a pic an an earlier comment, but I don't see it, what gives?

Is it not on our public profile? i thought i put it up....let me check

 

[drakes_girls69]

Sorry! my bad, i fixed it tho! now look! thats Lana about a year and a half ago

 

[banes27]

Thank you all for the comments, especially iswallowloads and banes27. And i to am nto confused about my sexuality, i knew from when i was a little kid i liked strawberry and chocolate, to use my wifes analogy. Yes the polygamy part can get a little tough, but thats what makes it worth while
And fuck ya i am a lucky man! i got six girls who don't care what i did for a living, and a hot stud who loves me just the same as well.
Also the girls want to say thank you for the support as well! And i would like to ask what you all think of the names we picked out for the twin girls, due her very soon, Bella Rose and Angela Dawn? any comments on them?

That's ok man Why judge what I'm not part of when it works so well for someone else.

As for the dad trying to drown one of your partners, that was not a cool thing to do, but good for you for what you did. KARMA!!!

 

[JHarrison01]

I'd have to say it's usually straight people who get confused by other sexualities

I distinguish between confusion and conviction.

I think most "straight" people have been taught (through the myriad of different influences) that homosexuality is wrong, immoral, a sin, etc. so they have conditioned their outlook to reflect that teaching. If you ask them if they ever think about a physical relationship with a member of the opposite sex, they will with great conviction, flatly deny it.

It's only confusing when they are confronted, at some point in life, by their desire for someone of the same sex. They may never act on it, but they probably can't escape it. Now the turmoil starts because their feelings conflict with their upbringing and societal pressures.

In my own situation, I never looked at another guy, never thought about sex with another guy until I hit 40. Then it was like a switch was turned on. I felt guilt at first, but then realized it's just part of who I am. There is nothing I can do to escape those feelings.

I still look at women, I am still attracted to women, but I like being with guys too. Once I realized that, all the guilt and conflict went away. I wish I could tell my wife, but what I do with another man in no way impacts how I feel about her.

 

[iswallowloads]

Sorry! my bad, i fixed it tho! now look! thats Lana about a year and a half ago

Nothing there, but that's cool. Leaves more to the imagination!

 

[banes27]

I distinguish between confusion and conviction.

I think most "straight" people have been taught (through the myriad of different influences) that homosexuality is wrong, immoral, a sin, etc. so they have conditioned their outlook to reflect that teaching. If you ask them if they ever think about a physical relationship with a member of the opposite sex, they will with great conviction, flatly deny it.

It's only confusing when they are confronted, at some point in life, by their desire for someone of the same sex. They may never act on it, but they probably can't escape it. Now the turmoil starts because their feelings conflict with their upbringing and societal pressures.

In my own situation, I never looked at another guy, never thought about sex with another guy until I hit 40. Then it was like a switch was turned on. I felt guilt at first, but then realized it's just part of who I am. There is nothing I can do to escape those feelings.

I still look at women, I am still attracted to women, but I like being with guys too. Once I realized that, all the guilt and conflict went away. I wish I could tell my wife, but what I do with another man in no way impacts how I feel about her.

Hmmm, seems to have been different in my case then. I was ok with pretty much every sexuality possible, I didn't mind what any other person liked, I was just confused by how it worked in their heads. I guess it is more true that it is conviction rather than confusion.

 

[gt_bear]

Ah i see my lovers used a picture of Lana as there profile picture, well thats encouraging. Yeah that was a nice hot day....though she is completely naked in that one my lovers had me take another of just her head to show to others.
As it is we just had a date with Jessie's parents....it went badly. They liked the fact she found someone but when they found out that someone also had 5 other girls and a guy as well, they flipped out. i just sat back and nodded as they screamed, up till the point they called me a perverted, twisted piece of shit that is in desprit need of spiritual guidance that i got pissed.
I knew i'd meet resistance, but they love their daughter and she wants what she wants, and that just happens to be me and our family.
Oh i wish i could have just bitch slapped them into compliance, but i cant do that, no no, i have to be kind and accept their right to that opinion....
What do you all think i should have or should do?

 

[iswallowloads]

Ah i see my lovers used a picture of Lana as there profile picture, well thats encouraging. Yeah that was a nice hot day....though she is completely naked in that one my lovers had me take another of just her head to show to others.
As it is we just had a date with Jessie's parents....it went badly. They liked the fact she found someone but when they found out that someone also had 5 other girls and a guy as well, they flipped out. i just sat back and nodded as they screamed, up till the point they called me a perverted, twisted piece of shit that is in desprit need of spiritual guidance that i got pissed.
I knew i'd meet resistance, but they love their daughter and she wants what she wants, and that just happens to be me and our family.
Oh i wish i could have just bitch slapped them into compliance, but i cant do that, no no, i have to be kind and accept their right to that opinion....
What do you all think i should have or should do?

You did the right thing. They're entitled to their opinions, particularly when it comes to their daughter. But they need to recognize that she's now an adult that gets to make her own decisions and that she's willing to accept the responsibility for them. If you keep on being civil, they'll eventually realize that you're a good guy and accept the situation (even if they never come to really LIKE it).

These are common feelings among parents of gays and lesbians. They eventually accept it, because they love their kid and know their kid is an individual. They may never agree with homosexuality for whatever reason (usually religion), but they 'get over it' and learn to set personal feelings aside.

P.S. Maybe it's something funky with my Mac, but I can't see your girls' avatar. I can see everyone else's. How about a PM?

 

[gt_bear]

well how about i just attach it here...wonder if it will work now

 

[drakes_girls69]

Jessie is still crying about it, her dad and her where always close. Now he's not even answering her calls..Drake(gt_bear) is blaming himself like he always does...but it aint his fault, they just need time to process that their youngest daughter is now the youngest lover in a family of 8...which sounds bad i know lol

 

[Programmer Cat]

My wife and I are bi, and neither of us are particularly confused about it. We do what we like, we do whomever we like, and we don't apologize to anybody for it.

 

[gt_bear]

My wife and I are bi, and neither of us are particularly confused about it. We do what we like, we do whomever we like, and we don't apologize to anybody for it.

Good for u! that the attitude that we all should have lol

 

[iswallowloads]

well how about i just attach it here...wonder if it will work now

Wow, smokin' hot! Thanks, and congrats.

 

[iswallowloads]

Jessie is still crying about it, her dad and her where always close. Now he's not even answering her calls..Drake(gt_bear) is blaming himself like he always does...but it aint his fault, they just need time to process that their youngest daughter is now the youngest lover in a family of 8...which sounds bad i know lol

Doesn't sound bad at all, but her Dad 's pretty confused right now. I think one of the biggest mistakes parents make is trying to raise their kids to be little carbon copies of themselves. Most seem to think that if the child grows up and has different beliefs and morals than they failed as a parent. They also selfishly worry about how it will reflect on them as a person. Her Dad's going through a lot of shit right now, maybe he just needs some space. Give it time, he'll come around as soon as he sees how happy his little girl is.

If not, just take some wisdom from old Lenny Bruce when he said -
People should be taught what is, not what should be.

My heart goes out to you both. I really hope it works out.

 

[gt_bear]

Doesn't sound bad at all, but her Dad 's pretty confused right now. I think one of the biggest mistakes parents make is trying to raise their kids to be little carbon copies of themselves. Most seem to think that if the child grows up and has different beliefs and morals than they failed as a parent. They also selfishly worry about how it will reflect on them as a person. Her Dad's going through a lot of shit right now, maybe he just needs some space. Give it time, he'll come around as soon as he sees how happy his little girl is.

If not, just take some wisdom from old Lenny Bruce when he said -
People should be taught what is, not what should be.

My heart goes out to you both. I really hope it works out.

Thanks man, u make a lot of sense. I'm just worried that he will never talk to her again, and that will kill Jessie. Idk if he doesn't come around here in a month or so i might have to go talk with him....i don't care if he hates me, but he shouldn't hate his kid.
As it is Jessie is getting better, me and her spent a good few hours talking alone over the past couple of days. I telling her about my experiences with family, how my parents and brother hate me, but my cousins love me....sometimes a little to much lol, but that seemed to help her, and as usual she slept curled up on the side of my chest.
I can't believe she is 18, sometimes she seems older, sometimes she seems younger. She even uses the baby voice thing that girls do to their dads when they want something, and sometimes she makes the rest of us sound like children.
idk she has got to be the oddest, most kooky, bright, and hyper one of us.

 

[iswallowloads]

Thanks man, u make a lot of sense. I'm just worried that he will never talk to her again, and that will kill Jessie. Idk if he doesn't come around here in a month or so i might have to go talk with him....i don't care if he hates me, but he shouldn't hate his kid.
As it is Jessie is getting better, me and her spent a good few hours talking alone over the past couple of days. I telling her about my experiences with family, how my parents and brother hate me, but my cousins love me....sometimes a little to much lol, but that seemed to help her, and as usual she slept curled up on the side of my chest.
I can't believe she is 18, sometimes she seems older, sometimes she seems younger. She even uses the baby voice thing that girls do to their dads when they want something, and sometimes she makes the rest of us sound like children.
idk she has got to be the oddest, most kooky, bright, and hyper one of us.

She'll be alright as long as you and the ladies (and the hot little Irish emo ) are there for her. There's two types of family - the ones we're born with and the ones we find along the way. And it's good that you can relate your own experiences, that helps a lot. I dig your setup man, but can't say I totally envy you, being a patriarch can be pretty rough sometimes. You feel everyone's pain, but have to stay strong. Thank god for scotch, huh?

And I hate when women do the baby voice thing, but only because I'm a sucker for it.

 

[sadangel]

Hello everyone out there. this is my first forum so first off i would like to share a little about me. I am 21 years old, i live in Las Vegas for the winter and Amsterdam in the summer. I am currently married to a beautiful girl, but i also have 5 other girlfriends and a boyfriend. All of us live together and all of us are lovers, that is my wife has sex with my boyfriend, he has sex with another girlfriend and those girlfriends have sex with each other and me, you get the point.
The point of my post is to ask the question, do you all believe that us bi-sexual people are jsut confused or like lesbian and homosexuals we are just born different?
I personally believe that we are just born like this, i my self have been bi since i can remember, so when others say i'm just confused i get pissed.
If you also want to talk about polygamy in all its forms, you can ask, please not haters alright i already got a few wounds on my body from haters i dont need any more.

My answer requires some personal thoughts. Please bear with me.

I grew up "straight". I married because "it was the right thing to do". I was being the dutiful daughter. After my marriage, I finally admitted and acknowledged that I had feelings for women, nearly my entire life. That I was a "lesbian". Now, 13 years after my divorce, I am acknowledging and admitting that I've never stopped having feelings for men. That I am bi-sexual. Just like the women, it's not all men or all women. It's the one's that reach into my heart and soul that I feel something for. There have been few men or women to reach that far. (My ex husband was not one of them. I married for the wrong reasons. To be the Good Daughter).

I don't believe I'm confused in the least. I am a person who realizes that circumstances and ideals change over time. I am learning to be true to myself. I don't know that I can speak for anyone else...but I don't think the majority of bi-bisexuals, or Lesbian/gay/transgendered people are confused. What is confusing is dealing with society and how they view us.

IN the LBGT society, those of us that identify as bisexual are often viewed as being confused or promiscuous more than others. That is not the case. It is a generalization and it's wrong.

I don't understand polygamy or poly relationships well enough to really comment. I've gained a greater understanding here, ironically at Lit that I don't think it's immoral or wrong to the point I once did. I realize now that each person is on their own journey and it takes us all to a different path and place.

Don't know if any of that helps.

 

[banes27]

My answer requires some personal thoughts. Please bear with me.

I grew up "straight". I married because "it was the right thing to do". I was being the dutiful daughter. After my marriage, I finally admitted and acknowledged that I had feelings for women, nearly my entire life. That I was a "lesbian". Now, 13 years after my divorce, I am acknowledging and admitting that I've never stopped having feelings for men. That I am bi-sexual. Just like the women, it's not all men or all women. It's the one's that reach into my heart and soul that I feel something for. There have been few men or women to reach that far. (My ex husband was not one of them. I married for the wrong reasons. To be the Good Daughter).

I don't believe I'm confused in the least. I am a person who realizes that circumstances and ideals change over time. I am learning to be true to myself. I don't know that I can speak for anyone else...but I don't think the majority of bi-bisexuals, or Lesbian/gay/transgendered people are confused. What is confusing is dealing with society and how they view us.

IN the LBGT society, those of us that identify as bisexual are often viewed as being confused or promiscuous more than others. That is not the case. It is a generalization and it's wrong.

I don't understand polygamy or poly relationships well enough to really comment. I've gained a greater understanding here, ironically at Lit that I don't think it's immoral or wrong to the point I once did. I realize now that each person is on their own journey and it takes us all to a different path and place.

Don't know if any of that helps.

Wow, that was amazing That's actually pretty deep. I especially like the distinction between "right" and "true" that this kind of thing holds. I like the part about "change over time", I'm part way on the path of Buddhism in that this idea stikes me a lot everywhere I look and I love the imagery of the journey and the path.

"The street you are on today may not be the one you walk tomorrow but it is still your path, your journey, the direction merly changed. You could not see that you were going to turn left or turn right because the future is clouded in mist."

I've noticed some changes in my relationship with my gf since we've been together, but none of them make me sad, even though I can see that, liiking into my gf's eyes, she is sometimes. This happened when we ended up in a rut, not having sex more than maybe once a week for almost a month or two, but I was still happy with where we were going at the time. Everything is temporary in life, all you have to do is find which bits of that path make you happy. That's why I've been so happy since I got together with my gf. Being with her, no matter which road we go down, makes me happier than anything. We can have a fight and I'll still be happy because it's her

Anyway, that was a wonderful post

 

[Vail_Indigo]

I should start by saying that I've been lesbian since as far back as I can remember. I've never had any real interest in boys, though I didn't know what that meant, exactly.
Anyhow, there is a lot of prejudice towards bi's in the LGBT community because it DOES look as if you are making a choice.
First, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I find it exceptionally hypocritical to expect people to behave how you want them to, but then expect other people to let you do whatever you want. If bisexuality is a choice, who the hell has any right to criticize? If that implies that being lesbian or gay is a choice, would it be better to promote a falsehood and say it isn't a choice?
Second, I have no idea if people are born gay/lesbian/bi, or if it is an environmental thing. I do believe that the vast majority of people do not have a choice in their sexuality, whether it be genetic or envirnmental. We like who we like, love who we love, lust who we lust.

In many ways, I think this whole issue is the classic result of an oppressed people looking for someone to put lower than themselves in some way.
I'm reminded of a thing that was (maybe still is?) going on in some sections of the gay community where those who had anal sex saw themselves as 'more gay' than those who didn't.
wtf?

Anyhow, thats my rant on this.
Consenting adults should get to love and fuck who they want and everyone else can go to hell. I simply can't see how it is anyones business if those choices are, well, actual choices.

Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure what 'choice' means here.

 

[banes27]

I should start by saying that I've been lesbian since as far back as I can remember. I've never had any real interest in boys, though I didn't know what that meant, exactly.
Anyhow, there is a lot of prejudice towards bi's in the LGBT community because it DOES look as if you are making a choice.
First, I don't see what that has to do with anything. I find it exceptionally hypocritical to expect people to behave how you want them to, but then expect other people to let you do whatever you want. If bisexuality is a choice, who the hell has any right to criticize? If that implies that being lesbian or gay is a choice, would it be better to promote a falsehood and say it isn't a choice?
Second, I have no idea if people are born gay/lesbian/bi, or if it is an environmental thing. I do believe that the vast majority of people do not have a choice in their sexuality, whether it be genetic or envirnmental. We like who we like, love who we love, lust who we lust.

In many ways, I think this whole issue is the classic result of an oppressed people looking for someone to put lower than themselves in some way.
I'm reminded of a thing that was (maybe still is?) going on in some sections of the gay community where those who had anal sex saw themselves as 'more gay' than those who didn't.
wtf?

Anyhow, thats my rant on this.
Consenting adults should get to love and fuck who they want and everyone else can go to hell. I simply can't see how it is anyones business if those choices are, well, actual choices.

Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure what 'choice' means here.

Agreed!

Like you, I don't know whether it's genetic or environmental, but who you want to love or sleep with is no-one's business but yours, so why should the gay community think so badly of the bi-sexual people of the world when they themsleves are shit upon by some straight people. Pseudo-revenge, the continued cycle of oppression is not a good act. Live with the fact that everyone else in the world is different and you can't stop that, so why try. Just live.

Personally why even class yourself as one thing, e.g. bi or gay or straight or assexual. The ball has only fallen when you have dropped it so far, maybe next time it will go up, forward, backwards or sideways. I only know that I'm only attracted to women... so far. You do not know what will happen tomorrow and you don't know what you will be tomorrow.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Agreed!

Like you, I don't know whether it's genetic or environmental, but who you want to love or sleep with is no-one's business but yours, so why should the gay community think so badly of the bi-sexual people of the world when they themsleves are shit upon by some straight people. Pseudo-revenge, the continued cycle of oppression is not a good act. Live with the fact that everyone else in the world is different and you can't stop that, so why try. Just live.

Personally why even class yourself as one thing, e.g. bi or gay or straight or assexual. The ball has only fallen when you have dropped it so far, maybe next time it will go up, forward, backwards or sideways. I only know that I'm only attracted to women... so far. You do not know what will happen tomorrow and you don't know what you will be tomorrow.

I can't deny that there's a political aspect to all of this (if you choose your sexuality, then gay people can be seen as perverts for choosing to violate the 'laws of nature', and therefor can be seen as sick and/or criminal), but I think that the idea that someone might have some choice in their sexuality doesn't undermine anything and, if there's ever to be real understanding about our sexuality, we can't just dust something away because we find it inconvenient to our views.
Thats the job of academics

 

[banes27]

I can't deny that there's a political aspect to all of this (if you choose your sexuality, then gay people can be seen as perverts for choosing to violate the 'laws of nature', and therefor can be seen as sick and/or criminal), but I think that the idea that someone might have some choice in their sexuality doesn't undermine anything and, if there's ever to be real understanding about our sexuality, we can't just dust something away because we find it inconvenient to our views.
Thats the job of academics

Good point. generally I think the word "choice" is used in the wrong way with sexuality. People choose to follow their sexuality, but I don't think whether or not they attracted to a certain person or whether they enjoy sex with a certain sex is often a choice. In the case of people not liking sex with a certain person or not even being attracted to them, I think that that person may be denying their own sexuality, in essence, chosing not to follow it.

 

[sadangel]

I don't think being bisexual is anymore a choice than being gay or straight.

We choose who we end up with, who we spend our lives with. Man or woman.

I chose to live with a woman for the last 8 years. I didn't choose to be gay. I am choosing to find my true self now....I didn't choose to be bisexual. I simply am what and who I am.

If others don't understand and want to crucify me for it, there is nothing I can do about it. I can only tell them what I know, for me. Yes, being true to me.

 

[banes27]

I don't think being bisexual is anymore a choice than being gay or straight.

We choose who we end up with, who we spend our lives with. Man or woman.

I chose to live with a woman for the last 8 years. I didn't choose to be gay. I am choosing to find my true self now....I didn't choose to be bisexual. I simply am what and who I am.

If others don't understand and want to crucify me for it, there is nothing I can do about it. I can only tell them what I know, for me. Yes, being true to me.

I think that's kind of the point. People who don't understand the difference will assume that because you've chosen to be (in many ways) with a member of the same sex, much like they have chosen not to, that you (chosing something which they see as unnatural) have in fact also chosen your sexuality without considering that they have also chosen to live with someone BECAUSE of their sexuality, not because they CHOSE their sexuality. I don't think you chose sexuality, you chose the denial or acceptance of it.

Oh, I also believe most people are inherently bisexual, they just haven't experinced it yet.

 

[drakes_girls69]

Wow thanks all you guys, ur all making sense! lol I personally believe that true GLBT people never choose their sexuality it is just in them, but of course then we have some fakers out there, not saying anyone who posts here is, far from it, but i have known chicks who said they were bi but never did anything with a girl and just did it for attention.