Bistro Bijou

[RhymeSmith]

I dunno it's silly really professionals like Homb and Smitty will laugh

Me? A pro? Hell honey, I just do it for fun!

And I never laugh at anyone's kinks... I seriously doubt that Hom does either.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Are you sure it's safe some stranger came in and flashed at me? *deep breath* I dig pointed things in my fingers (preferably thumb) till it hurts and more it hurts the nicer I feel >>>>>>>>> runs and hides

 

[RhymeSmith]

Are you sure it's safe some stranger came in and flashed at me? *deep breath* I dig pointed things in my fingers (preferably thumb) till it hurts and more it hurts the nicer I feel >>>>>>>>> runs and hides

Ahhhhh. Endorphin rush. Not really into it myself, but I know many who are. On the other hand, I know that a little pain, at exactly the right time, can sometimes enhance an erotic experience, for some.

Try to avoid tissue damage, though.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Goodness you mean it has a name ?!!!!!!!!

 

[RhymeSmith]

Goodness you mean it has a name ?!!!!!!!!

What you're doing has lots of names, but I was referring to the end result. You can read about it here.

 

[Homburg]

Me? A pro? Hell honey, I just do it for fun!

And I never laugh at anyone's kinks... I seriously doubt that Hom does either.

Well, I laugh at furries. Plushies too. I just can't take it seriously.

----

Are you sure it's safe some stranger came in and flashed at me? *deep breath* I dig pointed things in my fingers (preferably thumb) till it hurts and more it hurts the nicer I feel >>>>>>>>> runs and hides

Ahhhhh. Endorphin rush. Not really into it myself, but I know many who are. On the other hand, I know that a little pain, at exactly the right time, can sometimes enhance an erotic experience, for some.

Try to avoid tissue damage, though.

Yup, Smitty is spot on. Nothing humourous about that, Annie. Tissue damage is the big concern, but if you are doing it safely, go for it.

You would likely enjoy knifeplay. Just so ya know

 

[loststar]

my oh my oh my............ we have the classroom here, the doctors office there, and I think we need to keep a box of thumb tacks and some ornage juice on the bar... is there anything else I can get anybody while I am up?

 

[Sara Crewe]

I am so not into rubber. Just sayin'.

I took the rubber off. I aim to please and plus, I just like skin.

Err, I mean a careful examination requires the dexterity of bare hands and bare other things...

 

[RhymeSmith]

... is there anything else I can get anybody while I am up?

I wish. Looking at your avatar makes my hands feel empty.

BTW, Beej, it's good to see that one back again! It's one of my favorites.

 

[loststar]

hands are my specialtey, I'll make them feel better in no time at all, hmmm lets see your hand in mine, I'll start with the pressure points, ease out some of that tension, work through the fingers, and in no time at all your hands will feel far more pampered than you ever thought they could be, but I hope that while I pay so much attention to those paws, that other things wont feel neglected

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Well, I laugh at furries. Plushies too. I just can't take it seriously.

----





Yup, Smitty is spot on. Nothing humourous about that, Annie. Tissue damage is the big concern, but if you are doing it safely, go for it.

You would likely enjoy knifeplay. Just so ya know

What are furries and plushies? Erm I have used to end of a pointed but not sharp knife ......

I took the rubber off. I aim to please and plus, I just like skin.

Err, I mean a careful examination requires the dexterity of bare hands and bare other things...

Ermmmm now rubber gloves is another thing I am partial too .....

 

[Homburg]

What are furries and plushies? Erm I have used to end of a pointed but not sharp knife ......

Furries - people with a fetish for anthropomorphic animals. These folks don large animal suits, wear animal like make-up, etc for sex, and are aroused by images, usually computer generated or drawn, of animals in bipedal form, with human like bodies and animal features. "Yiffing" is slang for masturbating to such images, producing furry cyberporn, etc. More properly, a furry is just someone that digs anthropomorphic animals. A yiffy furry is one that is sexually aroused by them.

Plushies - folk what have sexual relations with plush stuffed animals and the like. These plush toys are frequently modified in some way to allow coitus, either by attaching the appropriate sexual organ stimulator or by cutting a hole. Again, plushy can be used to describe someone that really digs plush toys. In the sexual context it means someone that reeeeeally loves their plush toys.

These are kinks that I just can't get with.

And for a less biased view, try here at wikipedia. This is a tame link, and will not be likely to cause a need for mindbleach. It is wikipedia after all.

Ermmmm now rubber gloves is another thing I am partial too .....

Another kink surfaces. Very nice. I prefer opera length satin or silk gloves if handwear is going to happen on my partner.

I have worn buttery leather driving gloves, rough-out hard leather work gloves, suede, and rubber gloves for sexual purposes. I've worn a work glove on one hand and a soft leather glove on the other. One hand was "nice" and the other was "naughty". I'll leave the rest of the details to your imagination.

 

[normal jean]

What you're doing has lots of names, but I was referring to the end result. You can read about it here.

girl, I am with you on that one. Not in the same context but may I make a comparison?

you know what a "cutter" is. I used to do that when I was young, it seemed to me that the physical pain caused ( by cutting) gave me a relief of the deep seated emotional pain I felt. It was years and some psych classes before I understood why. I still enjoy some pain inflicted during play, but I don't harm myself like that anymore and luckily, most of the scars have healed.

I just want to say one more thing--

bj has been a blessing in so many ways. Her threads have been a source of healing for me that I did not recognize at first and for that I am very grateful. I was so resistant at first, it was the fear of being judged, but it seems in here, everyone understands and if anyone does judge it is not harshly, but in an accepting way.

For that , I have developed a genuine love and thankfulness for her blessed presence here and for the angels that followed her to this place.



thank you! from the bottom of my heart.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I just wish I could hold you NJ and if I can't heal myself heal you

 

[Homburg]

girl, I am with you on that one. Not in the same context but may I make a comparison?

you know what a "cutter" is. I used to do that when I was young, it seemed to me that the physical pain caused ( by cutting) gave me a relief of the deep seated emotional pain I felt. It was years and some psych classes before I understood why. I still enjoy some pain inflicted during play, but I don't harm myself like that anymore and luckily, most of the scars have healed.

I did not mention this because Annie's tone in that post. She did not make it sound therapeutic, just fetishy.

That said, I have some experience with cutters. Well, cutters, scratchers, burners, etc. That sort of self-harm is very common in the BDSM lifestyle. Let's face it, we are all about blurring the line between pleasure and pain, and cutters are already much of the way their before that first crop touches them.

I have had three BDSM relationships of any sort of serious depth and length, and all three of those ladies were cutters, burners, etc in their youth, and all three struggled with that behaviour when overwhelmed with stress. Many of the bottoms that I've played with have admitted to self-hamr, and many of those that I am friendly with have talked about it as well. It is unfortunately common in this section of the sexual world.

It is also bloody hard to deal with that behaviour for some people. I am glad to hear that you aren't driven in that direction any more.

 

[normal jean]

I just wish I could hold you NJ and if I can't heal myself heal you

Darling annie,

I'm getting better every day! and it's because of this place. I am not always such a downer, I can be a great fun when presented with the chance. Just needed this place and like I said, resisted for along time. It is hard to admit when you are flawed, it's hardest to admit it to yourself.

You know how long I went and never told anyone that I did that? I was taught in school, psych 101, that cutters sought attention, but I never did, not in that way. I always hid mine. always. always

and Homburg-- I wish I had encountered someone with your sensitivity when i was first understanding myself and my sexuality, instead, ( and ange knows this) i encountered an emotional sadist who just made it worse and he is GONE!! yippee

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Furries - people with a fetish for anthropomorphic animals. These folks don large animal suits, wear animal like make-up, etc for sex, and are aroused by images, usually computer generated or drawn, of animals in bipedal form, with human like bodies and animal features. "Yiffing" is slang for masturbating to such images, producing furry cyberporn, etc. More properly, a furry is just someone that digs anthropomorphic animals. A yiffy furry is one that is sexually aroused by them.

Plushies - folk what have sexual relations with plush stuffed animals and the like. These plush toys are frequently modified in some way to allow coitus, either by attaching the appropriate sexual organ stimulator or by cutting a hole. Again, plushy can be used to describe someone that really digs plush toys. In the sexual context it means someone that reeeeeally loves their plush toys.

These are kinks that I just can't get with.

And for a less biased view, try here at wikipedia. This is a tame link, and will not be likely to cause a need for mindbleach. It is wikipedia after all.



Another kink surfaces. Very nice. I prefer opera length satin or silk gloves if handwear is going to happen on my partner.

I have worn buttery leather driving gloves, rough-out hard leather work gloves, suede, and rubber gloves for sexual purposes. I've worn a work glove on one hand and a soft leather glove on the other. One hand was "nice" and the other was "naughty". I'll leave the rest of the details to your imagination.

That's it I am never going to wear my furry doggy suit again! I used to be chairperson for The National Canine Defence League in my county and often wore the doggy suit for fundraising ... gawd I will never look at it in the same light again!!

 

[normal jean]

Furries - people with a fetish for anthropomorphic animals. These folks don large animal suits, wear animal like make-up, etc for sex, and are aroused by images, usually computer generated or drawn, of animals in bipedal form, with human like bodies and animal features. "Yiffing" is slang for masturbating to such images, producing furry cyberporn, etc. More properly, a furry is just someone that digs anthropomorphic animals. A yiffy furry is one that is sexually aroused by them.

Plushies - folk what have sexual relations with plush stuffed animals and the like. These plush toys are frequently modified in some way to allow coitus, either by attaching the appropriate sexual organ stimulator or by cutting a hole. Again, plushy can be used to describe someone that really digs plush toys. In the sexual context it means someone that reeeeeally loves their plush toys.

These are kinks that I just can't get with.

And for a less biased view, try here at wikipedia. This is a tame link, and will not be likely to cause a need for mindbleach. It is wikipedia after all.



Another kink surfaces. Very nice. I prefer opera length satin or silk gloves if handwear is going to happen on my partner.

I have worn buttery leather driving gloves, rough-out hard leather work gloves, suede, and rubber gloves for sexual purposes. I've worn a work glove on one hand and a soft leather glove on the other. One hand was "nice" and the other was "naughty". I'll leave the rest of the details to your imagination.

did you see the CSI episode that featured that type of play? I never heard of it till then, and even then, thought it was made up. so I Googled and lo and behold... there it was

ya just never know till you know, ya know?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Darling annie,

I'm getting better every day! and it's because of this place. I am not always such a downer, I can be a great fun when presented with the chance. Just needed this place and like I said, resisted for along time. It is hard to admit when you are flawed, it's hardest to admit it to yourself.

You know how long I went and never told anyone that I did that? I was taught in school, psych 101, that cutters sought attention, but I never did, not in that way. I always hid mine. always. always

and Homburg-- I wish I had encountered someone with your sensitivity when i was first understanding myself and my sexuality, instead, ( and ange knows this) i encountered an emotional sadist who just made it worse and he is GONE!! yippee

I can understand this my ex got his rocks off on what happened to me

 

[UnderYourSpell]

did you see the CSI episode that featured that type of play? I never heard of it till then, and even then, thought it was made up. so I Googled and lo and behold... there it was

ya just never know till you know, ya know?

Come to think of it I did see that and the one about the man being a baby in a nappy

 

[normal jean]

I can understand this my ex got his rocks off on what happened to me

Now I just wanna hold and heal you.

I have to go for a while,. were having our traditional afternoon thunder bumpers, normal for SC during the summer, but the lightning is wicked and i have to unplug.

hugs

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Now I just wanna hold and heal you.

I have to go for a while,. were having our traditional afternoon thunder bumpers, normal for SC during the summer, but the lightning is wicked and i have to unplug.

hugs

Don't think you can heal me honey, no one can my guilt lies in the fact I didn't stop the original abuse when I quite easily could have, I went back for more thus proving how bad and how flawed I was even at that age
You should have an ante surge on your computer

 

[Homburg]

Darling annie,

I'm getting better every day! and it's because of this place. I am not always such a downer, I can be a great fun when presented with the chance. Just needed this place and like I said, resisted for along time. It is hard to admit when you are flawed, it's hardest to admit it to yourself.

I make myself take a hard look at my own flaws on a regular basis. As I'm a huge egotistical bastard (ego the size of Jupiter, to quote a friend of mine), it is a very healthy and necessary thing for me.

You know how long I went and never told anyone that I did that? I was taught in school, psych 101, that cutters sought attention, but I never did, not in that way. I always hid mine. always. always

That particular saw boggles me. No, I'm not a psychologists, but the three cutter types I was with all hid what they did, and the ones I know as firneds did the same.

and Homburg-- I wish I had encountered someone with your sensitivity when i was first understanding myself and my sexuality, instead, ( and ange knows this) i encountered an emotional sadist who just made it worse and he is GONE!! yippee

This is why I am so afraid that one or more of my kids will inherit their mother's particular orientation. I have no problem with any of my kids being submissive, but I am very afraid of that exact part of growing up that you mention, and what sort of partner they may well attract as a result.

Unfortunately, it has been my experience that submissives are submissive from a much younger age than dominants are dominant. They will seek dominant partners and are not likely to find healthy ones their own age simply because so few dominants express early. This means they will go after naturally dominant/aggressive personality types, and this can lead to finding those with a tendency towards abuse. Going back to my three ladies mentioned before, two of the three both had serious abusers as their first real relationship, and both stayed with those abusers for years.

My youngest daughter is starting to show signs of those sort of tendencies already. I will flat kill a boy if he hurts my baby. The only thing saving at least one young man from violence is a very strict promise I made to MIS not to seek him out purposefully.

Given the way kink works, odds aren't too bad that my kids will have kinky tendencies. Like I said, at least one is already showing that sort of behaviour in what she is doing. She's just a little thing, so it is not sexual behavious, but she is interested in certain sensations. The older ones are showing some of the personality traits that I have and are endemic to dominance. Could be interesting.

And, as much as I am afraid of my kids being submissive, I am just as worried about them being dominant. My grandfather is where I got my tendencies from, and he was a vicious abusive monster. I worry that my kids will inherit that from me, so I will be watching just as hard for dominant tendencies as I will submissive ones. I will not have a budding abuser in my house.

----

That's it I am never going to wear my furry doggy suit again! I used to be chairperson for The National Canine Defence League in my county and often wore the doggy suit for fundraising ... gawd I will never look at it in the same light again!!

did you see the CSI episode that featured that type of play? I never heard of it till then, and even then, thought it was made up. so I Googled and lo and behold... there it was

ya just never know till you know, ya know?

It opens your eyes, eh?

----

I can understand this my ex got his rocks off on what happened to me

*hugs*

And people wonder why I don't easily trust people like myself, and why I don't always trust myself for that matter.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

just venting..

*grumble*

I just came from my college course classroom (online) where one of my teammates took it upon herself to make 2 alterations to my final draft of our team paper and submit them as complete to the professor... all fine and dandy except that her revisions took our paper from being correct APA format to incorrect. The changes she made were relatively minor and probably will not cost us points....
but it's the principle of the thing.. to make changes and submit it before the other teammates okayed the changes???? That just sucks!

I've got some not-so-very-nice names for her going through my mind rght now.

-Sheila

 

[Homburg]

Come to think of it I did see that and the one about the man being a baby in a nappy

Okay, you've found another kink that I just can't get. *shakes head* Diapering is just beyond me.

Don't think you can heal me honey, no one can my guilt lies in the fact I didn't stop the original abuse when I quite easily could have, I went back for more thus proving how bad and how flawed I was even at that age

Darlin, all sorts of people have been in the same situation, and done the same exact thing. Abusers have a way of messing with your head, making you think that it is your fault, that you are flawed. When, in reality, it is their fault, they are the badly flawed ones, and your only mistake was to fall for them in the first place. Abusers get inside your head and reset what you think is proper and right, and replace it with their twisted definitions.

To be frank, you are a woman that loves, and loves deeply. Passionate, but with self-esteem issues. You have great desires, needs, and lusts, and guilt over those same needs. And you are wired to enjoy some kinds of pain, or at least to tolerate it well, and also wired for the sort of guilt that has you telling yourself that you deserve this.

And you are a sweet lady that will sacrifice for the man she loves. You probably thought, or believed, that if you loved that man harder, showe dhim how much you cared, and did everything in the world for him that he would realise how much you loved him and treat you right.

Does any of this make you a bad or flawed person? Or does it just make you a person that loves with all she has, and made a poor choice of who to love? You don't sound flawed to me, sweetheart. You sound grand and romantic and very worthwhile.

This is all conjecture, and is based on the general traits I've seen in abuse victims, plus those you've displayed in your posts and writing. If I am off the mark, forgive me. And none of this was meant to cause you any pain or offense. It is all just observation. *hugs*

I see the results of this every day. There is an incredible woman sitting right now some 500 miles away from me who suffered through this, felt this, lived this for almost three years. I love her fiercely, and work quietly each day to ensure that she knows that she is loved, that she is worthwhile, that she is a wonderful, beautiful person. Slowly I am trying to help her get past what was done to her, what she went through. It's hard. Probably much harder than she expected.

I can't think of a better way to spend my time though.