BPD.. Borderline Personalities & Relationships

[nottee_1]

What is BPD?

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. Impulsiveness involves having extreme emotions and acting or doing things without thinking about them first.

Borderline personality disorder is an intense disorder, and I'm starting this thread because I have rarely seen it discussed on Lit.

Do you have BPD, or know a special person with the disorder?

Here is a safe space to discuss it..
Or check in on good or bad days..

 

[nottee_1]

What does it present as?

 

[nottee_1]

Hi, I have BPD and it effects my daily life..
And has interfered in 99% of my close relationships.
It's very difficult to have healthy relationships when you or somebody you love has it..

I'm not ashamed to admit it makes me insane at times.. But, of course, extra loving at others..

I have severe abandonment issues..
And black*white thinking at times.

I know that several relationship issues are here on lit threads.. and BPD is definitely a relationship issue.

 

[diavolo2025]

Interesting, thread, subscribed.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

A common side effect of civilization is unhappiness and madness.

 

[nottee_1]

Bpd is a side effect of PTSD... At least for me it is.
I read the other day people who have fear of abandonment issues do so because they've been abandoned in the past.

 

[nottee_1]

I met a guy when you could chat and comment easy on their amateur xxx videos...17 years ago...

It was supposed to be a fun friendship.. But I started feeling intense for him...I needed constant contact online as much as possible.. And I had just got separated from a 12 year marriage..
I left my husband... So I didn't feel abandoned... Not until later on...

But, this guy from the porn site had a history of dating crazy chicks. I ended up having the worst mood swings during the first 2 years of that connection.. Only knowing about bipolar..I didn't exactly fit that.. It was more.

After a while, I learned about borderline personality disorder. And a bright light came on!!! That!!

You know what??
17 years later.. We're still friends online!???

It's possible to have people stand by you.. Regardless of what shape your mind is in

 

[nottee_1]

I love tiktoks... And they're great ones on BPD!!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTBtwvLoX/

 

[nottee_1]

Are you now, or have you been in a friendship or relationship with a person who has BPD??

It can be as difficult for the "favorite person", or FP..as it is for the BPD sufferer.

A "FP" is what we refer to as the person we are fixated on.
It can be a friend, lover, family member, even ones therapist.

I have a fp currently.. But before them, I have had one since childhood.

My current knows, all too well , about my BPD, how I see things as black or white.. And has been the ride for many of my splitting episodes.

 

[nottee_1]

Favorite Person article
https://brookeglenhospital.com/blog/favorite-person-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/

 

[nottee_1]

Part of having BPD is spending half your time having regrets about actions you've done in the past to others.

About a month ago, I did something horrible to a really good friend, because I let my jealousy and insecurities win.

I absolutely had lost my mind, and today I learned that I've damaged that friendship to a certain degree.
Yes, they forgave me..
But no they can't forget..

Do I deserve the forgiveness? I don't believe so.
This just proves how great some people are.

And how devastating BPD can be in relationships.

 

[rickinco]

My late first wife was a brilliant psychiatrist and dealt with this disorder quite frequently. She was always against prescribing drugs for everything because she felt it didn't solve the problems, but she did like prescribing lithium because it often leveled things off for those with bad mood swings. Unfortunately, she developed her own issues over time after years of listening to patients and working to solve their problems. She took her own life as a result. This was in 2002, and it took me years of working on things to get over my loss.

 

[nottee_1]

@rickinco thank you for sharing that about your wife.
I'm a widow. I met my husband in 1996.. Married in 1998 and he passed away July 2021.
Dealing with his loss effects me me daily. Today being Father's Day. And our child's 20th Birthday.
We first got together July 4th,1996.. So that anniversary is showing up soon also.

Oddly, my husband was a love in my life. But he never became a favorite person I obsessed over. Just a very understanding man that never gave up on me.

 

[F0XH0UND]

My late first wife was a brilliant psychiatrist and dealt with this disorder quite frequently. She was always against prescribing drugs for everything because she felt it didn't solve the problems, but she did like prescribing lithium because it often leveled things off for those with bad mood swings. Unfortunately, she developed her own issues over time after years of listening to patients and working to solve their problems. She took her own life as a result. This was in 2002, and it took me years of working on things to get over my loss.

That breaks my heart to hear. I'm so so sorry for your loss and pain. I'm glad that you came out on the other side. Bless you and your late wife.

 

[rickinco]

@rickinco thank you for sharing that about your wife.
I'm a widow. I met my husband in 1996.. Married in 1998 and he passed away July 2021.
Dealing with his loss effects me me daily. Today being Father's Day. And our child's 20th Birthday.
We first got together July 4th,1996.. So that anniversary is showing up soon also.

Oddly, my husband was a love in my life. But he never became a favorite person I obsessed over. Just a very understanding man that never gave up on me.

I'm really sorry to hear about your husband. I fully understand your loss. Feel free to PM me and we can chat sometime.

 

[F0XH0UND]

I have BPD. It also means that you feel emotions very strongly.

I used to go to a group for it, but it became more of a hindrance over time because of one other person's issues.

 

[rickinco]

That breaks my heart to hear. I'm so so sorry for your loss and pain. I'm glad that you came out on the other side. Bless you and your late wife.

Thank you. Met my current wife in 2004, married in 2006, 20 years this October.

 

[nottee_1]

I have BPD. It also means that you feel emotions very strongly.

I used to go to a group for it, but it became more of a hindrance over time because of one other person's issues.

Extremely strong.
Please feel free to post here on the topic, or your feelings anytime

 

[F0XH0UND]

I carry a lot of regrets and very strongly. It's kinda frozen me in place and kept me from moving on or moving at all.

 

[nottee_1]

I carry a lot of regrets and very strongly. It's kinda frozen me in place and kept me from moving on or moving at all.

I have been through a lot in my life.. And I used to tell myself that I regret nothing I've ever done, because I've never been one to hurt someone with my actions, thoughts or words.
But recently I did something to a great person... And as you can imagine.. Daily I wonder why they forgave me? I don't forgive me.

But, people can only put up with my BPD for so long.
Yeah, I've tried therapy in the past.. It's just not like anxiety or depression or bipolar.. You can't just take a magic pill.
There's no real help for BPD.. There's just consequences.

 

[nottee_1]

Managing impulse control in BPD

https://vantagepointrecovery.com/managing-impulsivity-in-bpd/

Impulse control with me is difficult.
When I give in to it, I normally only have hurt myself and my life.
I also have been told I have bipolar 2. Which has more to do with emotions, than highs and lows I believe.

I do feel and act impulsivity, as I described above in my regret about my actions towards a great friend.

How do/have you reacted impulsively in relationships??

 

[nottee_1]

Also, part of me being here on lit correlates with my BPD..

I crave attention, so I post my body and thoughts for others to admire if they choose to do so...

I'm afraid of abandonment so I don't normally form intense, emotional relationships.
Though, yes, I currently have a FP...

But I've got low self worth, meaning I'm not secure that I feel like I'm enough for somebody, yet I want to be their only one.

 

[diavolo2025]

I admire and appreciate the courage to recognize your demons and the strength to lay them bare to others. Hope you're also as kind to yourself as you deserve. Have a great day!

 

[nottee_1]

I've watched many of her videos..

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTB7A6UEL/

 

[nottee_1]

And a big shout out to anyone who is someone's favorite person!!!;

I'm sure it's the most challenging role you've ever had in your life...

Mine is my miracle!!
My special person I like calling him!!!!