BPD.. Borderline Personalities & Relationships

[nottee_1]

Does BPD differ in genders?

https://thewaveclinic.com/blog/gender-differences-in-bpd/

 

[F0XH0UND]

On a positive note, I think that my BPD symptoms have gotten better over time. I'm not entirely sure why. It could be that I became more aware and regretful of how my behavior impacted others. I've definitely noticed that I don't react as extremely and obsess on worries as I used to.

 

[F0XH0UND]

What is BPD?

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. Impulsiveness involves having extreme emotions and acting or doing things without thinking about them first.

Borderline personality disorder is an intense disorder, and I'm starting this thread because I have rarely seen it discussed on Lit.

Do you have BPD, or know a special person with the disorder?

Here is a safe space to discuss it..
Or check in on good or bad days..

I really appreciate you making this thread. There's another about depression, which I have. I also have anxiety and codependency.

 

[nottee_1]

BPD really is a disorder that effects relationships. And some people on lit do form those...

 

[F0XH0UND]

I'm here to basically have an online girlfriend. I think that's the closest I'll have to intimacy with another person in because I think that I'm pretty lifeless and worthless. I'd like to think I'm being too hard on myself, but I've had a couple women be turned off by me frankly not having any ambition.

 

[nottee_1]

@F0XH0UND I appreciate you sharing your feelings. I know my anxiety and depression correlate with my relationships...
When I'm not in a relationship, I'm actually very calm, most of the time. I tend to not get close to people, with the exception of one person.
But I get very fixated on them... And that's not good either.

 

[nottee_1]

Caught my attention because it's purple

https://imgur.com/a/bWWSaxY

 

[F0XH0UND]

Caught my attention because it's purple

https://imgur.com/a/bWWSaxY

Pretty accurate.

 

[MrsJ0nes]

What does it present as?View attachment 2638555View attachment 2638556

It's weird...i have, at times, suffered most of these symptoms. But I've been diagnosed with various other conditions, including bipolar, depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD and PTSD.

I've seen several shrinks, but none ever mentioned BPD. I've been prescribed various medications that might useful for some conditions, but useless or harmful in others.

This supports my lifelong feeling and experience that psychiatry/psychology are crude, inaccurate and arbitrary to the extent of being very close to useless, if not entirely so, or even worse.

That's my 2 cents.

 

[nottee_1]

It's weird...i have, at times, suffered most of these symptoms. But I've been diagnosed with various other conditions, including bipolar, depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD and PTSD.

I've seen several shrinks, but none ever mentioned BPD. I've been prescribed various medications that might useful for some conditions, but useless or harmful in others.

This supports my lifelong feeling and experience that psychiatry/psychology are crude, inaccurate and arbitrary to the extent of being very close to useless, if not entirely so, or even worse.

That's my 2 cents.

I have been told I'm bipolar#2. I honestly do not have a proper diagnosis of BPD.. I've experienced every sign, feelings, symptoms.. Since I was at least in my early 20s.. I thought I was going crazy in my early 30s.. Not fitting into what I was diagnosed with by Drs.
Until I read one day about BPD.
Then everything made sense.

 

[F0XH0UND]

I have been told I'm bipolar#2. I honestly do not have a proper diagnosis of BPD.. I've experienced every sign, feelings, symptoms.. Since I was at least in my early 20s.. I thought I was going crazy in my early 30s.. Not fitting into what I was diagnosed with by Drs.
Until I read one day about BPD.
Then everything made sense.

For me, it was actually my physiatrist who diagnosed me with BPD. He runs a couple BPD groups. I used to go to one for a while.

 

[nottee_1]

https://imgur.com/a/xAkXiRz

 

[nottee_1]

 

[nottee_1]

**Trigger warnings**
Abuse, self harm, drugs

I have quiet BPD...I internalize everything, and hate to make others suffer because of my pain, or my fears...

So I have mentioned that I have a fp... They are fully aware that I have this and other mental health issues..

For me, ok... Fuck . I'll just be forthcoming..
I was abused as a girl in many ways.. For many years, by many people.

I was raised by a narcissistic mother, and no father at all... Just whoever her boyfriend was for the month..

I can tell you that I never felt attached to her... Not as a kid, certainly not as an adult.

I was a "cutter" for years as a teen.... And have seen the insides of hospital psyche units.

I was in Foster care from 12-18.
An alcoholic starting at age 13.
And a drug addict from 18-24.

I hadn't really known what stability looks like...
But I did find love and got married at 24... Which was the first stable relationship I had ever known.
He passed away almost 5 years ago.

So, stable relationships haven't really happened for me, and I definitely have this...
"I'll leave you, before you leave me attitude"...

BPD, PTSD; you name it, I've either seen it in others or have it myself..

My current FP has been my best friend for a couple years now.. he knows me. The real me... Not because I faked my friendship and let him see the surface me.. The one that you all see when you are visiting my sexy thread..

He knows... ME.
I can't tell you how many times I've "split" on him.. How many times my anxieties and insecurities tried to push him away..

He is my rock!
One thing he says to me all the time is...
"I'm not leaving you" ...

The one thing us with BPD and abandonment issues crave to hear, right??

So... When you see me post here.. it's because I finally feel safe.

 

[F0XH0UND]

Just want to send my love to everyone on this thread. I hope the conversations keep coming.

 

[nottee_1]

Just want to send my love to everyone on this thread. I hope the conversations keep coming.

Thank you for your contributions, also
How are you today?

 

[F0XH0UND]

Thank you for your contributions, also
How are you today?

Hi. Thank you, and thanks for asking.

I'm feeling lonely, honestly.

 

[nottee_1]

Hi. Thank you, and thanks for asking.

I'm feeling lonely, honestly.

It seems to me, based on reading your posts you have around, you're a good, cool, genuine guy.
A lot of people admire that.
I have a tendency to tell people just to keep being themselves, and the right friend/connection will emerge

 

[F0XH0UND]

It seems to me, based on reading your posts you have around, you're a good, cool, genuine guy.
A lot of people admire that.
I have a tendency to tell people just to keep being themselves, and the right friend/connection will emerge

Oh, my gosh! That means a lot to me. Thank you so much.

 

[nottee_1]

Positives about having BPD

https://mimood.com/bpd-strengths-unique-traits-superpowers-coping-tips/

 

[nottee_1]

https://imgur.com/a/g7An6yM

 

[nottee_1]

I like this one...
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTBopUdPp/

 

[nottee_1]

This just helped me..
I popped a sour green candy in my mouth because I was splitting and spiraling:

https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/resources/sour-candy-anxiety-panic/

 

[F0XH0UND]

I want to help keep this thread alive because I appreciate raising awareness and creating a safe space to talk.

Can anyone relate to only feeling comfortable expressing their insecurities to a particular crowd like this or with professionals because you're afraid to be judged harshly? But you don't interpret it as harsh, you interpret it as fact that you're defective or less than others.

 

[nottee_1]

@F0XH0UND
I'm embarrassed to have BPD, and the only people I tell it to are counselors and guys that I've acted out on...
My primary DR doesn't know. He knows in my medical record I have anxiety and depression, and bipolar #2.

I tend to start online friendships with intent to be "Good", but when something happens and the anxiety, BPD kicks in...if I really like them.. I'll say I'm mentally ill.. And hope for the best.

But I'm every day conversations, I can act fine.

Maybe because for me, BPD only attacks my life when I'm close to a person emotionally.

And, one thing I've learned??
Not everyone can handle a person with a mental illness.
But, there's so much stigma around BPD... People know what bipolar means, or schizophrenia.. But nobody knows what BPD is...
My best friend currently, knows all about my issues, ALL OF THEM!! He hasn't left my side. I split on him today,

I hope that you continue sharing here!!