butter's stuff: the good, the ugly, and the incomplete

[butters]

lol love it.

thanks, Gi Venus

 

[Gi_Venus]

thanks, Gi Venus

You are most talented, thank you

 

[Gi_Venus]

infiltrated

spread my fingers to the wall
of white that lingers, beckons, calls
asks of me to trace its shapes
unseen yet felt upon its face
lures me to call forth the words
to set it free, to make it heard

there was a song that once i sang
it touched me somewhere deep, began
to infiltrate the way i thought
of life and love and, though i ought
to burn and hate, i'm yet set free:
Peace came upon me (and it) - breathes in me



italicised line for The Hollies' "Air that I breathe"

this one is wonderful. lol I think I personally relate to it.

 

[fridayam]

hmmn


overworked, perhaps?

You're welcome, chip. It's hard to tell until you put the whole poem together. It may well be that part 3 overbalances the first two parts, as I think it might. xx

 

[butters]

You're welcome, chip. It's hard to tell until you put the whole poem together. It may well be that part 3 overbalances the first two parts, as I think it might. xx

yeah, think you're right. maybe i'll get to work it out - it's elements i want to keep. maybe even a separate piece. oh, dunno what i think about it right now, tbh

 

[corndog_]

hmmn


overworked, perhaps?

I think, perhaps.
Lush imagery and adroit writing, but the metaphor has enslaved the message. Remember who serves whom!

I like this one very much, and look forward to its completion.

 

[butters]

I think, perhaps.
Lush imagery and adroit writing, but the metaphor has enslaved the message. Remember who serves whom!

I like this one very much, and look forward to its completion.

you're right, i know. i started the others in the right frame of mind, but then got interrupted by the visiting teen with his woes. didn't resume it till morning and now i'm fed up with it already. i'll return to it when i have a bit of distance, or maybe scrap it altogether as really, let's be honest, the middle of the three was the only really worthwhile one. we'll see. thanks for your thoughts!

 

[corndog_]

you're right, i know. i started the others in the right frame of mind, but then got interrupted by the visiting teen with his woes. didn't resume it till morning and now i'm fed up with it already. i'll return to it when i have a bit of distance, or maybe scrap it altogether as really, let's be honest, the middle of the three was the only really worthwhile one. we'll see. thanks for your thoughts!

Oh, please don't scrap it. Reclaim that frame-of-mind and let it guide you. You're headed someplace wonderful.

 

[butters]

well, maybe not all of it - but even looking at it now i see almost half that wouldn't be missed if cut away. yep ... *thinks*

 

[butters]

reworked older piece up today, but someone's made a really funny comment! they were laughing, and when i went to take a look, if i drop the 'paramedics' line (though maybe not for the hospital-kinksters, lol) it becomes a poem addressing something quite other. AND I PREFER IT! lmao. damn, wish i could claim it was

sirens


define the night
in strident notes that try to tear
my skull in two
or more
i can't be sure

of anything
all's surreal

feel
the fabric where i sit
its stiffened nap
but fingers won't interpret
or tips translate a colour
to a brain that's all night
split
and split again

i've no spit left
with which to swallow
and my ears won't hear
the moving lips of
paramedics

numb with shock
i watch the body
stretched and tubed
obscenely pummeled
over and over

"clear!"

i worry about bruises

 

[butters]

go softly, for

some fruits are bruised
blemishes hidden
till peeled

 

[butters]

he plucks the peach from the bowl
pierces its sweet flesh
sucks, greedily, its ripe juice

i watch
remembering how the fat fly landed
crawled
tasted
stood amongst the fuzz to wash its legs

 

[Gi_Venus]

he plucks the peach from the fruit bowl
pierces its sweet flesh
sucks greedily at its ripe juice

i watch
remembering how the fat fly landed
crawled
tasted
stood amongst the fuzz to wash its legs

*clap hands* Oh dear, I like this one. Poignantly visual. Gia to self, remember to wash your fruit for godsake.

 

[corndog_]

go softly, for

some fruits are bruised
blemishes hidden
till peeled

Bruised
or not
I eat them

 

[butters]

Bruised
or not
I eat them

...

have to be sure to get your five a day. *nods*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I've just submitted again and so should you with everything you have here so that those that don't frequent the forums get the chance of a read. There will hopefully be others join us on this forum in the future and your poems should be attached to your profile for those unknowns ........ or do I have to come over and yell obscenities through your letterbox?!

 

[butters]

I've just submitted again and so should you with everything you have here so that those that don't frequent the forums get the chance of a read. There will hopefully be others join us on this forum in the future and your poems should be attached to your profile for those unknowns ........ or do I have to come over and yell obscenities through your letterbox?!

don't be skeery! lol

i will sub more - i didn't want to flood the new poems like some sad attention-seeking thingy, and my last one's only had 2 votes and 3 comments; one of those was my reply to someone.

i'll go read yours when it's approved. when did you sub, tonight?

 

[butters]

k, just subbed and you and you and you

 

[UnderYourSpell]

don't be skeery! lol

i will sub more - i didn't want to flood the new poems like some sad attention-seeking thingy, and my last one's only had 2 votes and 3 comments; one of those was my reply to someone.

i'll go read yours when it's approved. when did you sub, tonight?

yes tonight and I really must read other peoples and comment

 

[BooMerengue]

k, just subbed and you and you and you

and I love it, love it, love it and I'm stealing part of it.

 

[butters]

and I love it, love it, love it and I'm stealing part of it.

lol - the single, human footprint in the sand? i think you'll find that's been used by thousands of writers, including me, so feel free, lol.

and thankyou, Boo, for your generous comment x

 

[UnderYourSpell]

have you ever been centoed?

 

[butters]

have you ever been centoed?

what a personal thing to ask on a public forum, annie! *blushes furiously and pulls petticoats and skirts tighter around my ankles*

if i have, i haven't noticed. would it hurt much?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

what a personal thing to ask on a public forum, annie! *blushes furiously and pulls petticoats and skirts tighter around my ankles*

if i have, i haven't noticed. would it hurt much?

would u object to a woman centoing you lol? hurt? well would entail a fair bit of cutting out here and there but done as gently as possible! *she lied*

 

[butters]

would u object to a woman centoing you lol? hurt? well would entail a fair bit of cutting out here and there but done as gently as possible! *she lied*

do with it what you will, annie if anything i write inspires you to play, i'm not complaining.