Cane virgin seeking answers

[Homburg]

See, that's the part that bothers me. I know my reaction is irrational but I just don't like the expectation that I must conform to a standard.

But, wait, the "standard" here is a major exception everywhere else. If one chooses to conform to status quo so as to be non-conformist within an existing non-conformist milieu, isn't it still conformity?

Recursive head-asplody loop!

 

[jm_kaye]

See, that's the part that bothers me. I know my reaction is irrational but I just don't like the expectation that I must conform to a standard.

If it's any help, the dress codes are usually there to make the serious patrons feel safe, and not like they're part of a freak show. It's not so much inteded to exclude anyone, as it is to protect the people who are really looking for a place to belong.

I know it sounds like the same thing, but I think there's a subltle differnece, in that fetishists exist outside the mainstream as it is, and need to have a place to call their own. It's not like being forced to conform to the wider cultural norm.

 

[graceanne]

I guess I could put my mask and snorkel on and carry my reef fish identification book around with me all evening but somehow I don't think that's what they had in mind. (Plus, my face would get too sweaty).

ROFLMAO

I think those rules are put in place mainly to discourage the tourists and other looky-loos. As long as you look like you're making an effort to blend in, you'll probably be okay.

Yeah, I have a friend who goes to those places occasionally ans she says she just wears black.

I thought about wearing a coconut bra but they're just so darn itchy.

Overheard in nightclub on fetish night: "Don't go near the blonde in the snorkel gear, she keeps scratching her breasts. I think she has a rash."

*cough*

DUDE! STOP IT! I'M ALREADY HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK, LAUGHING LIKE THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR IT!

 

[Keroin]

But, wait, the "standard" here is a major exception everywhere else. If one chooses to conform to status quo so as to be non-conformist within an existing non-conformist milieu, isn't it still conformity?

Recursive head-asplody loop!

Well, when you put it like that...now I'm confused.

If it's any help, the dress codes are usually there to make the serious patrons feel safe, and not like they're part of a freak show. It's not so much inteded to exclude anyone, as it is to protect the people who are really looking for a place to belong.

I know it sounds like the same thing, but I think there's a subltle differnece, in that fetishists exist outside the mainstream as it is, and need to have a place to call their own. It's not like being forced to conform to the wider cultural norm.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the reasons and I have no issues with them. Of course people want to feel safe and not like zoo animals when they go out. Cool. 100%. My point is that it's just not for me.

Look, there are lots of arenas in my life where I have to conform for various reasons. I'm fine with this. I know how to play the game, (even if I break the occasional rule or three). But this part of me is "me", unedited. I cherish that. In this arena, I won't conform, for anyone or for any reason, however logical. If that means I must forgo a night out dancing, so be it. (BTW, I don't think I own a stitch of black clothing, except maybe my fighting/driving shoes).

No real hard feelings. I'm glad that kinksters have a time and place that is all their own.

My Emperor, Chuck, on the other hand, would fit right in. He is the embodiment of fetish.

Yeah, I have a friend who goes to those places occasionally and she says she just wears black.

Again, no black clothing. Now. At seventeen, with blue mohawk, black leather jacket, and pointy black boots with skulls down the front, I would have fit right in. I am a woman out of time.

*cough*

DUDE! STOP IT! I'M ALREADY HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK, LAUGHING LIKE THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR IT!

Sorry, next time I'll post a warning: The following should not be read by those with respiratory illnesses or those who've just taken a big drink of something.