Carolina Directory

[Roughneck]

Custer's last stand


An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return I expect to see it completed."

Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this there were hundreds of Indians in various stages and different positions of making love.

Furious, he called the artist in. "What the hell is this?!" screamed the billionaire.

"Why, that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly.

"No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth, I asked for a mural of the interpretation of Custer's last thoughts!"

"And there you have it," said the artist, "I call it 'Holy cow - look at all those fucking Indians!'"

 

[Roughneck]

Little Johnny was walking down the road one day and an old man was sitting on his front porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.

The old man said, 'Whatcha got there, son?'

Johnny said, 'Got me some chicken wire.'

'Whatcha gonna do with that chicken wire, son?' asked the old man.

'Gonna catch me some chickens,' said Johnny.

'You can't catch chickens with chicken wire,' said the oldster.

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and walked on down the street. About half an hour later, Johnny came back passing the old man's front porch with three chickens entangled in the chicken wire.

The old man was shocked and couldn't believe his eyes.

A little later Johnny passed the old man's porch.

'Whatcha got now, son?'

'Got me some duct tape.'

'And whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?' the old man asked.

'Gonna catch me some ducks.'

'You can't catch ducks with duct tape,' said the old man.

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking.

About half an hour later, back comes Johnny with three ducks tangled in the duct tape.

Again, the old man rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

Half an hour later, Johnny was again passing the old man's porch.

'Whatcha got now, son?' asked the old codger.

'Got me some pussy willow.'

The old man said, 'Wait right there while I get my shoes!'

 

[Roughneck]

Time to light up the room !!

Hello ya all,


I know I don't post much of late, but Work, Fire Dept. and now Softball take up much of my time. . . and oh ya, sleep fits in there somewhere. Just shot through some of the pages and it seems to be a bit slow, so sit back and enjoy my litte show, hope to have ya laughing and busting a gut, also hope this gets everybodys weekend off right.

 

[Roughneck]

enjoy

 

[Roughneck]

another one

 

[Roughneck]

yet another

 

[Roughneck]

another??????

 

[Roughneck]

ok last one

 

[Roughneck]

ok, so I lied

 

[Roughneck]

What the hell, another for the road

 

[Roughneck]

last one . . . . . honest

 

[Roughneck]

ok. . . . one last one for those of ya in the back.

 

[Roughneck]

Got Snow???

A real snow blower

 

[Roughneck]

Well ya all stay kool, Have to have a beer or 12 before I head to work. Maybe if ya ask nicely I'll post some more Priceless pics.


Oh and remember, Confucius say, " Man who buy bag of prunes, gets good run for his money."

enjoy the weekend

 

[snoozebutton]

As i meander my way thru the dark forest of life i push closer to the field of happiness guided by the first shafts of light the coming of a new day brings to me. Have a great weekend A/all.

 

[Desdemona]

Hi everybody! I'm visiting my mom for the holiday weekend and I hope you all will have a wonderful Easter.

PZ... I definitely think you are PAST due for your physical. We'll make your appointment this coming week.

geri... I'm so glad to see you home from the hospital and feeling better. Now, take care of yourself!

Dawn... I hope you enjoy your time at home. Good things are just around the corner for you.


Go TERPS!!!

 

[PaganZepher]

Go Terps!

geri I am soooooo glad you are better and home! Please take care of yourself.

Roughneck I loved your posts! Keep them coming!

Des you can exam this if I can exam you!!! Have a good weekend with your family!

A good weekend to SB, and all the folks here!

 

[Roughneck]

Its a deal !!

NP PZ, I have about 500 or so priceless pics, I'll post more tomorrow.

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Go Terps!

Des you can exam this if I can exam you!!! Have a good weekend with your family!

Thanks PZ. I'm sure we can work out some sort of arrangement.

Roughneck, you're a wild man!

Hi SB.

Take care everybody.

 

[geri]

Thanks for the Welcome Home, Everyone

and, according to Magister I have no choice but to take care of myself. He said He is going to check up on me more regularly and not take my 'I'm okay' as any indication that my health is up to par.

i am just kicking back and thinking about posting....not stressing about it at all.

 

[PaganZepher]

Magister I think your plan for geri is a good one! geri you still probably need to take it easy.

Des have a good time with your family. You could get them to register and post here! Just kidding! Have a great time hon and visit us if you can.

I hope everyone has a great Saturday!

 

[geri]

Wait a Minute!

what happened about the supersoakers? was there a decision on that and what are we filling them with?

 

[Georgia Girl]

Re: Wait a Minute!

what happened about the supersoakers? was there a decision on that and what are we filling them with?

I don't know what happened with them but for now you are not allowed into water fights. We have to get you well.

Don't look at me like that, I was only in the pond for a little while.

Dawn

 

[geri]

*pouts*

no fair! i was looking forward to getting Magister...er getting some exercise and that sounded like the perfect way!

 

[Georgia Girl]

No need to pout pretty lady, in time.

I do believe he needs to be got, I think we should tag team and do a really good job of it though.

Dawn