Chastity, forced male chastity, and Eroticism.

[Norway_1705]

I have already written, and will soon publish, the opinion of my fictitious character Alvaro De Campos, who argues that perhaps all these male fantasies around an always aroused Keyholder who wants to be licked all the time are just a Projection of male desire, which, however, women do not have in real life (not as frequently).
In real life we read messages all the time from husbands who “wish” their wives were not reluctant, and who complain that their wives are too lazy for the Keyholder role.
And that perhaps, many of all these novels describing the forced male chastity caused by a locked cage are just a metaphor for chastity imposed on a psychological level by wives who have been placed on a pedestal.
And perhaps, many of those "scheduled releases" are a metaphor for launching a plea for help: like saying: help me, fellow readers, my wife only allows me to have sex together with her on my birthday!
And maybe, many of those "earned releases" are a metaphor for all those submissive husbands who think it's my fault if my wife says she's tired: maybe if I took in more chores, more errands, if I worked longer hours at the office, if I took care of the children, she would be more excited (not really, indeed, because women crave for a blooding HERO, instead you look more and more like Mrs. Doubtfire every day: less attractive every day precisely because you submit!).
I wonder. I don't know the answer. Maybe I am ultracrepidarian.

 

[Astrotrain]

I know they make chastity belts for women too, but I read a blog written by a bisexual domme and she said that while the best way to get male subs into subspace was chastity with a lot of tease and denial the best way to get female subs there was to tie them up and give them constant orgasms until they mentally overload on it. Is that true?

 

[Norway_1705]

Ancient Greek mythology stated, it is impossible to give a woman so many orgasm to even "overwhelm her".
It sounds like some literary exaggeration by a... Professional dominatrix?
Or a projection from a male, who experienced by himself the void after seven ejaculations in a day.
Maybe it's just my doubtful mind of mine, I never trust to "professional sites".

 

[Norway_1705]

Thank you ASTRO, your words confirm once again the uselessness of fabulous "female chastity trinkets", so funny to think about, so useless in real life...
Maybe the only use is in some "magic realm" as in Tolkien or Martin novels - some magic liquid metal in a Fantasy tale...

 

[Norway_1705]

Femdom and forced fasting.
Yesterday I was reading a nice story. A submissive husband and a Domme wife, promoted Keyholder under a Contract signed by him. OK.
After much ‘I'll do whatever you want’, she takes away his wallet and his car keys.
‘But how am I going to make it to Lunch? I already skipped dinner yesterday and breakfast this morning!’
‘It's all part of the plan,’ she says.
To me the word ‘PLAN’ immediately makes me think of a strict Diet Food Plan: a personalised elaboration written by a nutritionist doctor, who assigns the subject a precise dose of protein and vegetables for each meal, drastically reducing carbohydrates and zeroing out salt and sugar!
Smiling, I thought it was heartwarming to see a good wife worrying about her husband's health and well-being. She was helping him get back in shape, improving his health!
.
But many readers were horrified. Whipping, strapons and denial were acceptable, but that the poor boy had no money for a snack, oh, no!
Here would fit the GIF with the Joker saying ‘when I say that one little old hubby will FASTING FOR ONE DAY, well then everyone loses their minds.’
.
I won't argue why such a short Fasting appears dramatic to opulent and comfortable readers, who may never have felt the pangs of hunger on a... spiritual level.
But in a Catholic family one fasts for 40 days, from Ash Wednesday (eh, yes, did you think the Addams's daughter had that name by sheer coincidence?), until Easter Sunday. And perhaps some other religions that I know little about also fast a lot: and both the ancient Indians of India and the shamans of the Indians of North and South America fasted to reach a higher spiritual level.
.
I would like to ask:
If one's mother has forbidden one's child some food or some drink (no coffee, no beer, no wine) what is so strange about your keyholder forbidding it?
If thousands of Vanilla wives have forced their husbands not to drink at dinner, because then HE has to drive as the designated driver... what is strange about that?
If fasting increases the possibility of entering sub-space... not total fasting, but a sacrifice of superfluous things, like sugar and sweets... will we read about it in other tales?
.
PS. And maybe, instead, in the aftercare, a lovely keyholder could also offer the suffering husband hugs, caresses, words of encouragement, and who knows, even a chocolate once in a while...

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Well, fasting and food denial as a fetish or a part of a D/s relationship is quite rare in stories. As with everything else, it takes time before the audience adjusts to it, I suppose. Or is it as the famous saying goes: The path to a man's heart leads through his belly? Bellies mustn't be neglected

 

[Dearelliot]

I like the way it puts the woman in control of his orgasm, no playing with it when you're alone, no relief. He has to beg...and perform!

 

[BlazonG]

I avoid all stories with chastity devices. It’s an instant ick. Having denial rules is fine.

 

[Yarglenurp]

I avoid all stories with chastity devices. It’s an instant ick. Having denial rules is fine.

lol, opposite of me. Chastity devices are great

 

[Norway_1705]

@BlazonG: obviously, forced male chastity is meant to be a niche practice.
both as a game for twenty minutes and as a lifestyle for twenty years.
I at the beginning of the thread was wondering, if there is a connection between some religious (moral) prohibitions, and chastity (with or without locked devices).
Some novelists on this site have asked me if perhaps it is not simply “fear of the vagina” or “fear of vaginal penetration.” Suggesting (I think) that some men are attracted more to licking the pussy than to penetrating it.
Without judgment! Here everyone lives their perversions with the utmost respect for everyone.
Even some novelists theorize the existence of a real “type of male,” the "Munch", whose sole or main desire would be to lick pussy for hours. With or without chastity devices.
Apparently, some girls might perceive a man of that type as “less threatening,” in part because of the absence of an Erection that would intimidate her.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Sounds like a man's complaint more than anything in reality. The thing sounds as much like woman blaming as I've read. Thank god I'm a lesbian.

I have already written, and will soon publish, the opinion of my fictitious character Alvaro De Campos, who argues that perhaps all these male fantasies around an always aroused Keyholder who wants to be licked all the time are just a Projection of male desire, which, however, women do not have in real life (not as frequently).
In real life we read messages all the time from husbands who “wish” their wives were not reluctant, and who complain that their wives are too lazy for the Keyholder role.
And that perhaps, many of all these novels describing the forced male chastity caused by a locked cage are just a metaphor for chastity imposed on a psychological level by wives who have been placed on a pedestal.
And perhaps, many of those "scheduled releases" are a metaphor for launching a plea for help: like saying: help me, fellow readers, my wife only allows me to have sex together with her on my birthday!
And maybe, many of those "earned releases" are a metaphor for all those submissive husbands who think it's my fault if my wife says she's tired: maybe if I took in more chores, more errands, if I worked longer hours at the office, if I took care of the children, she would be more excited (not really, indeed, because women crave for a blooding HERO, instead you look more and more like Mrs. Doubtfire every day: less attractive every day precisely because you submit!).
I wonder. I don't know the answer. Maybe I am ultracrepidarian.

 

[Yarglenurp]

@BlazonG: obviously, forced male chastity is meant to be a niche practice.
both as a game for twenty minutes and as a lifestyle for twenty years.
I at the beginning of the thread was wondering, if there is a connection between some religious (moral) prohibitions, and chastity (with or without locked devices).
Some novelists on this site have asked me if perhaps it is not simply “fear of the vagina” or “fear of vaginal penetration.” Suggesting (I think) that some men are attracted more to licking the pussy than to penetrating it.
Without judgment! Here everyone lives their perversions with the utmost respect for everyone.
Even some novelists theorize the existence of a real “type of male,” the "Munch", whose sole or main desire would be to lick pussy for hours. With or without chastity devices.
Apparently, some girls might perceive a man of that type as “less threatening,” in part because of the absence of an Erection that would intimidate her.

Fun fact: “munch” in the US means a casual get-together of kinky people in a non-kinky setting. Usually to evaluate if you were sane enough to be a part of their group, and where everyone is old and mostly men. Except one or two weird dudes who said stuff that clearly made no fucking sense, but you are too polite to call them out on their bullshit.

 

[MillieDynamite]

To be perfectly honest, I haven't a clue how I ended up in this conversation.

 

[Yarglenurp]

To be perfectly honest, I haven't a clue how I ended up in this conversation.

Alcohol?

 

[MillieDynamite]

Not recently, but if you got it, I'd appreciate a shot of Jamison.

Alcohol?

 

[Norway_1705]

@MillieDynamite: Nothing demonstrates more assertiveness than a wife sipping wine or champagne
before her husband, who is only allowed to drink water because he is the “Designated Driver.”
The purest form of slavery, publicly accepted by any group of hyper-vanilla couples.

 

[Norway_1705]

About FASTING and Chastity "slaves". >>>> I do not endorse slavery: indeed, to me, all human beings are equal (Voltaire before 1776). We use this word in tales because it triggers kinky emotions and feelings: but maybe that is wrong and we should say "willing voluntary submissive endowed with free safe words" (which sounds less poetic, no? But maybe...).

Even disregarding history books (and fictional Movies originating from Novels: both are NOT historiographical sources), I believe that when slaves existed, every Owner was interested in them being alive, fed, and rested like mules and oxen. Slaves are the labor force of the plantation. If it were true (as some movies suggest) that the owner killed them on a whim, it would be completely uneconomic. Follow the money.

Moreover, some “slaves” provided rare labor that was difficult to replace. Would you kill the only slave who could translate from ancient Greek or Aztec? Would you kill the only slave who licks your pussy so well that you reach that difficult orgasmic climax, so rare, almost unique? Could Thomas Jefferson (yes, him) kill the slave woman, whom he considered to be his TRUE wife, bearing HIS children? Unique among hundreds of slaves owned by Jefferson on his vast plantations?

Long tale short: in my opinion, a dominatrix must feed and care for her slave (even if his penis is locked; maybe more care and aftercare!). She must provide him with healthy and wholesome food: little, perhaps, but quality. Among many capricious orders, she must order him to abstain from junk food, alcohol, fried food, and sweets: and encourage him (even with crops or threats!) to exercise, jog, hit the gym (who would want a fat slave like Jabba?).

Like a good mom who wants to see her little son get stronger and more… helpful.

 

[Showmewhatchugot84]

Back were I belong. Cages up and taking care of the chores

 

[Yarglenurp]

About FASTING and Chastity "slaves". >>>> I do not endorse slavery: indeed, to me, all human beings are equal (Voltaire before 1776). We use this word in tales because it triggers kinky emotions and feelings: but maybe that is wrong and we should say "willing voluntary submissive endowed with free safe words" (which sounds less poetic, no? But maybe...).

Even disregarding history books (and fictional Movies originating from Novels: both are NOT historiographical sources), I believe that when slaves existed, every Owner was interested in them being alive, fed, and rested like mules and oxen. Slaves are the labor force of the plantation. If it were true (as some movies suggest) that the owner killed them on a whim, it would be completely uneconomic. Follow the money.

Moreover, some “slaves” provided rare labor that was difficult to replace. Would you kill the only slave who could translate from ancient Greek or Aztec? Would you kill the only slave who licks your pussy so well that you reach that difficult orgasmic climax, so rare, almost unique? Could Thomas Jefferson (yes, him) kill the slave woman, whom he considered to be his TRUE wife, bearing HIS children? Unique among hundreds of slaves owned by Jefferson on his vast plantations?

Long tale short: in my opinion, a dominatrix must feed and care for her slave (even if his penis is locked; maybe more care and aftercare!). She must provide him with healthy and wholesome food: little, perhaps, but quality. Among many capricious orders, she must order him to abstain from junk food, alcohol, fried food, and sweets: and encourage him (even with crops or threats!) to exercise, jog, hit the gym (who would want a fat slave like Jabba?).

Like a good mom who wants to see her little son get stronger and more… helpful.

No offense, but I think this analysis is a bit off the rails.

I think there’s a fundamental distinction between a domme and her sub and a rancher and his cattle.

The thing about cattle and other livestock is that you absolutely would kill them when it was economically advantageous. There’s a long tradition of literally killing and burying slaves when a noble died so that they’d have someone to serve them in the afterlife.

This isn’t really the kind of parallel worth drawing.

 

[Norway_1705]

Oh! Sorry. Of course it is difficult to talk about these things, so different in centuries and space, from Americas to East Asia. And I know nothing about Viking funerals or women on the funeral pyre in Jules Verne's India.

But ... I was talking about “living” Dominatrixes malnourishing living “submissives.”

It seems to me that a caring Dominatrix should be concerned about making her man ... better. Stronger, slimmer, more active, more productive in the office where she works. I understand that it is easier to always imagine erotic tales where "No one works" and everyone stays home having sex 24/7/365 ("home" being a manor a villa or a castle), but personally I am more intrigued by economically credible stories. Oh, I understand that erotic literature is based on the dream of never working, from "Histoire d'O" to despicable "50 Shades". But precisely... it seems clichéd to me.

 

[SapitoHipo]

Latent heterosexuality? Everyone else is customizing their pronouns, why shouldn’t we?

View attachment 2434265
Back were I belong. Cages up and taking care of the chores

she should put you pink panties or hide a big dill pickle.

 

[Showmewhatchugot84]

Latent heterosexuality? Everyone else is customizing their pronouns, why shouldn’t we?

she should put you pink panties or hide a big dill pickle.

I've mentioned this as a potential disciplinary action. As we're newish to a flr lifestyle and were trying to find our way with different techniques here and there. She has no interest in putting me at panties at this point. Where we evolve to? Who knows.

 

[Astrotrain]

There are a pile of theories on why female chastity play is substantially more rare than male chastity, but a starting point is that females typically just don't have the same hormonal drive and when sex is deprived for long periods of time they are more likely to shut down that need rather than creating a large buildup of desire as seen on the male side.

Ah, but the most important part is not the amount of time without orgasm, but the teasing and the amount of sexual frustration. If you knew you were going to be denied orgasm for months on end, even with frequent teasing, I think even a man may get bored of that.

In my ideal scenario the sub never knows when or if they're going to cum, but they should always have hope. The standard should be her taking him to the brink every night and making him beg, sometimes giving him an orgasm but most likely just locking him up again frustrated. But he'll never know when he'll get to cum. You wouldn't have to go months without orgasm for that to drive you wild with desire, maybe on average once a week or even every few days. She should vary it of course, sometimes going longer, sometimes shorter, but he should never know how long. Very rarely she should just give him a orgasm the first time without any teasing so he'll always have hope even the first time she brings him to the brink, there should never be any instance where he's resigned to not cumming, he should always be thinking "please god, maybe this time". That's the cruelest tool in a domme's arsenal: the torment of hope.

 

[AlinaX]

Ah, but the most important part is not the amount of time without orgasm, but the teasing and the amount of sexual frustration. If you knew you were going to be denied orgasm for months on end, even with frequent teasing, I think even a man may get bored of that.

In my ideal scenario the sub never knows when or if they're going to cum, but they should always have hope. The standard should be her taking him to the brink every night and making him beg, sometimes giving him an orgasm but most likely just locking him up again frustrated. But he'll never know when he'll get to cum. You wouldn't have to go months without orgasm for that to drive you wild with desire, maybe on average once a week or even every few days. She should vary it of course, sometimes going longer, sometimes shorter, but he should never know how long. Very rarely she should just give him a orgasm the first time without any teasing so he'll always have hope even the first time she brings him to the brink, there should never be any instance where he's resigned to not cumming, he should always be thinking "please god, maybe this time". That's the cruelest tool in a domme's arsenal: the torment of hope.

I was summarising what I had read, but the conclusions feel wrong to me. I think there are multiple parts to the chastity kink.

For many it is about surrendering control of the self to another because the mutual awareness of power imbalance and sexual frustration builds desire through anticipation. Very much the scenario you paint there. It's a kinky game played by two for mutual enjoyment.

But if C is in chastity and K just thinks it's a weird and disturbing kink to be barely tolerated, then where is the enjoyment in it? Unless it's a shame or humiliation kink. A wife needing a hard cock, and sneering at her husband's caged inadequacy while she gets exactly what she wants from a real man...

Also, there is the thrill of secret perversity, of self-bondage, of a constant tease and inescapable arousal. Of indulging a sexual kink while out in public, secretly excited and denied in a way that would shock many and fascinate others.

 

[Norway_1705]

A wife needing a hard cock, and sneering at her husband's caged inadequacy while she gets exactly what she wants

I believe that each of us is different.
Either because of physical weaknesses or psychological trauma.
Perhaps, hypothetically, there may be a wife who is pleased to see her husband sacrifice his erections out of devotion to her.
Perhaps thousands of wives deny sexual intimacy to their husbands (even though they do not use any metal devices!) in the context of thousands of Dead Bedroom Marriages that “seem” ordinary solely because my aunt did it 50 years ago. And no one calls those wives “perverse”!
If anything, “too vanilla”!
About the trope about the need for another man -- I don't know. I understand that it's convenient for lazy filmmakers (who repeat rehashed scripts, with splashes of ejaculation) and for those who recycle old captioned photos (literally every photo of fucking, can be accompanied by phrases about chastity).
But those who write novels should strive to imagine something innovative now and then. Not all women want to be penetrated by penis, not all women orgasm through penetration, not all women are the same.