Convince a guy to try giving oral sex

[Sparkster23]

Maybe he is Gay, or more likely an immature douche. Real men love doing that,in fact that is probably my favorite besides Pizza lol

 

[NippleMuncher]

he isn't italian, is he? I've heard from my cousin (italian) that there is some manliness issues with cunninglingus; as in to do it is not being the dominant male that they should be. I have no idea if this is true, just something one of them mentioned to me.

Italian or not, this is something that seems more common with dominant personalities. I don't personally get it, but whatever floats yer boat! In this particular case, however, I'm betting that it's immaturity rather than anything else, particularly the lame excuse that was provided.

 

[fuckmeat]

Ask him how he would feel if you stopped giving oral to him. Then follow through on that and stop sucking his cock. Fuck it and stroke it all you want, just don't suck him. If he tries pushing you down there, grimace and act like he hasn't had a shower in a month. I have no doubt that oral for you will be back under discussion in a matter of days. Then ask him whether he feels unsatisfied and rejected. When he wails petulantly in the affirmative, hold your ground and ask him what he intends to do about compromise.

If you are an average woman, you will only cum through clitoral stimulation. That means fingers or oral or a vibe or whatever. That means PIV* sex just isn't going to do it for you. Because of that, you have even more reason to ask your man to give more of a shit about satisfying you. You also need to point this out. It's not his fault or yours that you're wired that way, so try to avoid sounding accusatory and keep your man on side. Be aware that guys have porcelain egos and hearing that he's not doing a whole lot for you won't make your guy very happy but if he's any kind of man he will take up the challenge and make it his business to leave you a quivering wreck the next time you have sex.

Unless you;re faking, in which case stop making a rod for your own back and cease faking.

If he continues to act like you have the world's smelliest genitals, I'd consider that you've tried all you can to make him be reasonable. An unreasonable, selfish man is not a good choice as a life partner. So move on and find another one.

*Penis in vagina

 

[subwannabe]

Sorry. Didn't have time to read your other replies but at least one of them must have said, "Get a new boyfriend!", don't try changing him - he has already made up his mind.

 

[NekoMimi]

it sucks

newly married, didn't have a problem doing it before, and now my husband refuses to do down on me! nothing has changed, i smell/look/taste the same, and somehow its suddenly disgusting. Its hella upsetting. hes like "if you know i don't like it, you shouldn't ask me" and all i can think is you DID like it before, you told me you did! and even if that was true, you kou now if you wanted me to do something you love and i hated, id do my damn best to do it for you! so don't give me that!

grrrr..........he doesn't understand why it's upsetting. it's because 1, you said you loved it before and did it without me even asking 2, because it went from all the time to NOTHING and 3, because no one wants to feel like they are suddenly disgusting!

 

[qrayze]

newly married, didn't have a problem doing it before, and now my husband refuses to do down on me! nothing has changed, i smell/look/taste the same, and somehow its suddenly disgusting. Its hella upsetting. hes like "if you know i don't like it, you shouldn't ask me" and all i can think is you DID like it before, you told me you did! and even if that was true, you kou now if you wanted me to do something you love and i hated, id do my damn best to do it for you! so don't give me that!

grrrr..........he doesn't understand why it's upsetting. it's because 1, you said you loved it before and did it without me even asking 2, because it went from all the time to NOTHING and 3, because no one wants to feel like they are suddenly disgusting!

Is it too late to get an annullment?

 

[NippleMuncher]

Is it too late to get an annullment?

Probably, but it's never too late to get a baseball bat to tattoo Spalding upside his head. Same goes for the OP and her predicament.

 

[Tmmldr]

Ask him how he would feel if you stopped giving oral to him. Then follow through on that and stop sucking his cock. Fuck it and stroke it all you want, just don't suck him. If he tries pushing you down there, grimace and act like he hasn't had a shower in a month. I have no doubt that oral for you will be back under discussion in a matter of days. Then ask him whether he feels unsatisfied and rejected. When he wails petulantly in the affirmative, hold your ground and ask him what he intends to do about compromise.

If you are an average woman, you will only cum through clitoral stimulation. That means fingers or oral or a vibe or whatever. That means PIV* sex just isn't going to do it for you. Because of that, you have even more reason to ask your man to give more of a shit about satisfying you. You also need to point this out. It's not his fault or yours that you're wired that way, so try to avoid sounding accusatory and keep your man on side. ....

This is not unlike my suggestions, except you are trying to do it at the conceptual level through talk, while I suggested making a sex game with rewards and punishments - extreme orgasm and moderate frustrations. I've never been really sure how much conceptual translated into variations in sex play, as the alter ego comes out sort of and takes control.....

My suspicion is that the poster with this problem is somewhat of a passive woman with the guy (or assumes that role because of the way the guy acts) and within that context there will be NO solution to changing the guy's behavior.

On the other hand, suppose that the woman mentions to the guy "oh, don't take me to a movie with XYZ actor or actress in it...I get wild then"....the first thing he's gonna do is take her to that movie. And then she acts different, wilder, more commanding.

"Rewards" for his putting his tongue where it should be could be slight hints of deep throat, anal stimulation, spanking, but only slight hints. The goal is to have him reach orgasm with implict hints of more hot stuff to come BUT ONLY IF.....

hehehehe...

 

[Tmmldr]

newly married, didn't have a problem doing it before, and now my husband refuses to do down on me! nothing has changed, i smell/look/taste the same, and somehow its suddenly disgusting. Its hella upsetting. hes like "if you know i don't like it, you shouldn't ask me" and all i can think is you DID like it before, you told me you did! and even if that was true, you kou now if you wanted me to do something you love and i hated, id do my damn best to do it for you! so don't give me that!

grrrr..........he doesn't understand why it's upsetting. it's because 1, you said you loved it before and did it without me even asking 2, because it went from all the time to NOTHING and 3, because no one wants to feel like they are suddenly disgusting!

I bet he's mad at you about something. Might likely be something completely unrelated to sex. But my comments to the originator of this thread still apply. It's like training a dog.

 

[LoneOne]

First off, can't understand this guy...

Second, well... my fiance has some issues with cleanliness when it comes to go down on me. For me this means no good morning blowjob or any kind of insert-time-blowjob without showering first. Well... no problem for me. Even if it is no problem for me going down on her the whole day or the day after...

If he likes (ehm... loves you) and is not absolutly untalented in giving head you could try showering together and try it afterwards... if he still wants to argue and tries to find a way out of it... you should talk about it, maybe he is unsure about how to do it (I've heard some stories about some men).

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

I am a female who has never received oral sex. It is my number one fantasy, but I have yet to find a willing partner.

I mentioned this to the guy that I am currently with and he changed the subject. I let it go at that point, but brought it up again about a month ago because I wanted an answer.

He said that he used to have no problem going down on a girl, but the last girl he was with had a really bad hygiene problem which turned him off from the whole experience. He said that he doesn't know if he can do it again because of that bad experience.

While this is not a make or break issue for me, it is still important to me. Is there anything that I can do to make him change his mind? I was thinking of just asking him to start out by kissing my pussy over my underwear and *maybe* licking my pussy over my underwear.

I would make sure that this would take place after a shower or after I had cleaned myself up so there was little chance of any bad smell.

Is what I'm asking realistic, or am I just being ridiculous? Any other ways that you can recommend warming a guy up to giving oral sex?

TIA

Bad personal hygiene is a serious problem for some guys. Eating a stinking pussy is no picnic, and you would be surprised at how many women are oblivious to the taste or smell of their pussy.

Repugnant pussy odor, (or pussy taste), doesn't come just from not keeping clean, it can also come from diet. Some foods can make a woman's pussy taste like shit, and it isn't just women, the wrong foods can make a man's cum taste like shit too.

If you want to enjoy oral sex, keep yourself clean and stay on a diet that doesn't adversely affect the taste or smell of your body fluids. The closer to vegetarian your diet, the milder your body fluids. Sweet fruits and veggies like avocados, strawberries, etc can improve the taste and smell.

A man will almost never tell a woman that her pussy stinks, and being the case, there may be a reason that he won't go down on you. When you are having sex with your boyfriend, what doesn't smell so bad to you, may not smell so good to him.

 

[ecclectic]

newly married, didn't have a problem doing it before, and now my husband refuses to do down on me! nothing has changed, i smell/look/taste the same, and somehow its suddenly disgusting. Its hella upsetting. hes like "if you know i don't like it, you shouldn't ask me" and all i can think is you DID like it before, you told me you did! and even if that was true, you kou now if you wanted me to do something you love and i hated, id do my damn best to do it for you! so don't give me that!

grrrr..........he doesn't understand why it's upsetting. it's because 1, you said you loved it before and did it without me even asking 2, because it went from all the time to NOTHING and 3, because no one wants to feel like they are suddenly disgusting!

hmm, kind of amusing to hear that coming from the other side, usually you hear that coming from the husbands, not the wives.

Feel bad for you and can totally relate, my wife would give me oral before we were married, but now uses any excuse she can think of, gives her a headache, locks her jaw, I produce too my ejaculate..... never had a problem before she got the ring though.

 

[infinity706]

I am also going to apologize for my tone. In advance. Because you sound like a really nice and considerate person, and I think it's great that you're trying to work with someone and are not letting this be a deal breaker in your relationship.

From my experience, when a guy cites a bad hygiene or grooming story when he doesn't want to give oral, he wasn't all that into the idea in the first place. Bonus points if he wants you to go down on him all the time without having to reciprocate.

Of course everyone compromises in their sex lives, but this is a pretty common act. I agree with the previous posters that it is ridiculous for him to not even try to satisfy you, or have any ideas for what he would be willing to do instead, because of one bad experience with someone who isn't you. It's not like your fantasy is to fuck him up the ass with a dildo. Then I would probably be a little more sympathetic.

I think your ideas for introducing oral play into your sex life are great. They're sexy, and not too much at once. I would do all of them as a prelude to oral. So, if he is really worth it in other areas of your relationship, then, by all means do all of those things! Just know that there are guys (and girls! ) who enjoy oral, and that if this isn't your only compromise, you just may have better luck next time.

And let us know if you try any of these things, because I'm curious about his response!

Honestly, I'm not sure I could have any more sympathy if she wanted to fuck his ass with a dildo. Out of all my partners, they've fit into 2 categories. They've all either enjoyed anal play or refused to try it. Now, the level of enjoyment has varied, though, as well as ability to orgasm from it. As many people as I've had sex with, I have to assume that with a skilled, or at least knowlegable, partner, anal play should be physically tolerable for everyone without special circumstances like hemorrhoids. I've even repeatedly had success with anal and even total virgins.

Now, as for giving head, I'd suggest washing with plain water. Soap and most other cleaning products taste terrible. A freshly washed dick/pussy/anus should has zero taste at all. Of course, I personally like most people's natural taste smell, but obviously, the guy mentioned in the OP doesn't.

 

[pgrt1000]

Hi

I am looking to make drawings of womens fantasies, is anyone up for sharing? I will send you the image once i have done it.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

he isn't italian, is he? I've heard from my cousin (italian) that there is some manliness issues with cunninglingus; as in to do it is not being the dominant male that they should be. I have no idea if this is true, just something one of them mentioned to me.

Italians only eat pussy if it tastes like mozzarella.

 

[satindesire]

Hi

I am looking to make drawings of womens fantasies, is anyone up for sharing? I will send you the image once i have done it.

Wtf?

You are in the WRONG thread son.

I think you need to try trawling for wank fodder elsewhere.

 

[orgasmsgalore]

You are doing this wrong. You suck his cock, but not the right way. Here's how.

Suck that cock until he is a quivering mass of flesh, then grab his head, take control, and put your pussy right on those lips. Depending on the eagerness that he shows, go back and suck him some more but never to completion. Do this three or four times - finger yourself off too. Be sure he can see that, maybe do it while you're moving his head to your pussy.

Your goal is is for you to get off before he does.

Once he gets off, his desire may well diminish and so the situation has changed.

If he doesn't perform well, get him off with your hands, but if he does what you want, deliver....

Great advice right there. I have NEVER had a guy not want to eat me. The first sex I had was a guy giving me oral sex. You poor thing. These days, it shouldn't even be a fantasy. I thought just about every couple engage in oral.

I think the whole bad experience is an excuse. I did have one male friend that said he did not like giving oral sex. The natural secretions freaked him out. At least he was honest about it. He didn't give excuses. a guy should tell you the real reason.

 

[twister947]

<sigh> The old "bait and switch" sucks (or doesn't), no matter the genders involved.

Moving along, I once had a lover who wouldn't let me go down on her. Her graceless clod of a husband had made so many fish "jokes" she actually believed him. Nothing would sway her.

 

[Eilan]

Great advice right there. I have NEVER had a guy not want to eat me. The first sex I had was a guy giving me oral sex. You poor thing. These days, it shouldn't even be a fantasy. I thought just about every couple engage in oral.

Dan Savage agrees with you:

Oral sex is standard. Any model that comes without it should be returned to the lot.

 

[NekoMimi]

i WISH he was just mad at me! i've asked him why a thousand+ times and all i get is "the more i think about it the more it seems unnatural and gross to me"
really? cause it wasn't "unnatuaral and gross" then suddenly we get married and it is. as much as i love him, this really bothers me that he can't at least give me a real reason. if he honestly doesn't like it, he shoulda said something in the beginning. ive always taken showers and shaved etc before (except when hed surprise it on me before the marriage) so no hygene issues.
too bad the don't go down on him then thing wouldn't work, he could care less about anything like that!

 

[acem05]

From my experience, when a guy cites a bad hygiene or grooming story when he doesn't want to give oral, he wasn't all that into the idea in the first place. Bonus points if he wants you to go down on him all the time without having to reciprocate.

As a male, I have to say this is spot on.

 

[owl2010]

I still have yet to bring it up to my guy, but from what I'm getting from all the posts here, it seems like he's selling me a big pile of bullshit. I think Orgasmsgalore summed it up best when she said "I thought just about every couple engage in oral," and Eilan's Dan Savage quote to reiterate that fact.

This thread has helped me realize that I am not being selfish or unrealistic about this topic. I don't have a lot of sexual experience, so I wasn't sure if I was out of line on this or not.

I love giving oral so I know it's not weird to like giving oral and being enthusiastic about it. I've been tempted to stop giving him oral and see what he does, but I don't know if that would be childish or not.

 

[acem05]

I've been tempted to stop giving him oral and see what he does, but I don't know if that would be childish or not.

It's a little petty, yes, but so is him refusing to give oral for those ::cough, cough:: reasons.

 

[literal]

I still have yet to bring it up to my guy, but from what I'm getting from all the posts here, it seems like he's selling me a big pile of bullshit. I think Orgasmsgalore summed it up best when she said "I thought just about every couple engage in oral," and Eilan's Dan Savage quote to reiterate that fact.

This thread has helped me realize that I am not being selfish or unrealistic about this topic. I don't have a lot of sexual experience, so I wasn't sure if I was out of line on this or not.

I love giving oral so I know it's not weird to like giving oral and being enthusiastic about it. I've been tempted to stop giving him oral and see what he does, but I don't know if that would be childish or not.

Would you be fine if he is OK with not receiving either as long as he doesn't have to give? If the answer is no, then its time to move on to the normal ones..

 

[Tmmldr]

I still have yet to bring it up to my guy, but from what I'm getting from all the posts here, it seems like he's selling me a big pile of bullshit. I think Orgasmsgalore summed it up best when she said "I thought just about every couple engage in oral," and Eilan's Dan Savage quote to reiterate that fact.

This thread has helped me realize that I am not being selfish or unrealistic about this topic. I don't have a lot of sexual experience, so I wasn't sure if I was out of line on this or not.

I love giving oral so I know it's not weird to like giving oral and being enthusiastic about it. I've been tempted to stop giving him oral and see what he does, but I don't know if that would be childish or not.

Still, you have to look at the situation before totally condemning the guy as hopelessly selfish.

It's pretty common for a guy to get off, and then immediately not have further interest in sex, right? It's also pretty common for a guy to come on pretty heavy and to basically, be thinking just with his dick.

So if you go along with that, you're going to get him off nicely, and then he's not going to be interested in sex, so you won't get what you want. Pretty simple....doesn't require a guy to be totally repulsed at eating pussy for this to develop, does it?

That's why I earlier mentioned getting his head between your legs early in the play, and limiting certain actions to just hints of what they could be.