Corrupt The Wish

[C5MiGuy]

Granted, you're now so thin that you have to run around in the shower to get wet

I wish someone would cook dinner for me

Granted, but it's a human liver, fava beans, and Chianti.

I wish I was more creative.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted, but it's a human liver, fava beans, and Chianti.

I wish I was more creative.

Granted!
You're the most creative accountant since Bernie Madoff and the IRS is on line one

I wish I had eternal youth

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted!
You're the most creative accountant since Bernie Madoff and the IRS is on line one

I wish I had eternal youth

Granted. You're now 9 month old forever, and reliant on others for everything, including taking care of your nappies, but you can't tell people what you want. Have fun with that.

I wish I was smarter.

 

[C5MiGuy]

Granted. You're now 9 month old forever, and reliant on others for everything, including taking care of your nappies, but you can't tell people what you want. Have fun with that.

I wish I was smarter.

Granted.
You are now Stephen Hawking and reliant on others for everything, including taking care of your nappies...

I wish I could sing.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted.
You are now Stephen Hawking and reliant on others for everything, including taking care of your nappies...

I wish I could sing.

Granited, but your first song was so good that it was overplayed on every station on the planet, creating a super-sized backlash against you, complete with unflattering internet memes.

I wish I was at the pool.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Granited, but your first song was so good that it was overplayed on every station on the planet, creating a super-sized backlash against you, complete with unflattering internet memes.

I wish I was at the pool.

granted, but it's full of gators.


I wish I could get a massage from Pamela Anderson.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

granted, but it's full of gators.


I wish I could get a massage from Pamela Anderson.

Granted, but she massages you with her hooha and you now have the herp.

I wish I didn't have to back to work right now.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Granted, but she massages you with her hooha and you now have the herp.

I wish I didn't have to back to work right now.

granted, but you got jury duty.



I wish I could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

 

[Fractured_Soul]

Granted, but she massages you with her hooha and you now have the herp.

I wish I didn't have to back to work right now.

Granted, you've been fired.

I wish I had a passport and 80 gallons of gasoline.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted, you've been fired.

I wish I had a passport and 80 gallons of gasoline.

Granted, but the passport is IN the gasoline.

I wish I had a more adventurous youth.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted, but the passport is IN the gasoline.

I wish I had a more adventurous youth.

Granted!
Wow did you get up to some amazing stuff!
You still have about 4 years left before you can make parole (we're already planning the party)

I wish I had a gourmet chef to prepare my meals for me

 

[E_Dantes]

Granted!
Wow did you get up to some amazing stuff!
You still have about 4 years left before you can make parole (we're already planning the party)

I wish I had a gourmet chef to prepare my meals for me

Granted. Your new chef is Edward Kendall Sheridan Lionheart who believes himself back in the Shakespearean theatre and believes you are Queen Tamora from Titus Andronicus (have fun figuring that all out....).

I wish I had more time.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted. Your new chef is Edward Kendall Sheridan Lionheart who believes himself back in the Shakespearean theatre and believes you are Queen Tamora from Titus Andronicus (have fun figuring that all out....).

I wish I had more time.

Granted!!
You will live 5 times the normal human lifespan--since you're in suspended animation in a spacecraft on the way to Mars.

I wish I could see and hear all the people who type these messages!!

 

[hwwannabe]

Granted!!
You will live 5 times the normal human lifespan--since you're in suspended animation in a spacecraft on the way to Mars.

I wish I could see and hear all the people who type these messages!!

Granted, but those are the only things you can see and hear!

I wish I could be in two places at once.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

granted, you're in hell AND in high water.



I wish I could ride my bike.

 

[luvthedesserts]

granted, you're in hell AND in high water.



I wish I could ride my bike.

Granted. It's now a Schwinn with no seat. Enjoy.


I wish I had Donald Trump hair.

 

[Good2BeBad67]

Granted. It's now a Schwinn with no seat. Enjoy.


I wish I had Donald Trump hair.

You now have his hair. On your bed side table.

I wish I could hear what people were thinking

 

[NotHisLady]

You now have his hair. On your bed side table.

I wish I could hear what people were thinking

Granted!
You can hear every thought--spoken or unspoken. But you can't tell which is which.

I wish I could retire in wealth and comfort.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Granted!
You can hear every thought--spoken or unspoken. But you can't tell which is which.

I wish I could retire in wealth and comfort.

Granted. You are now Donald Trump's hair on my bed side table.



I wish I could fly.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted. You are now Donald Trump's hair on my bed side table.



I wish I could fly.

Granted!
You are now a mosquito, enjoy it ya little sucker

I wish I could create the next big Reality TV hit

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted!
You are now a mosquito, enjoy it ya little sucker

I wish I could create the next big Reality TV hit

Two Girls, One Cup: The Series. Good job, we're so proud.

I wish I was nicer.

 

[NotHisLady]

Two Girls, One Cup: The Series. Good job, we're so proud.

I wish I was nicer.

Granted!
The treatment was a success and you are so much more socially acceptable. Maybe not so clever and they're still sorting out that business of the drool running down your chin. Oh but that SMILE!

I wish I were the supreme ruler of all the known universe

 

[Sebastian_Plz]

Granted!
The treatment was a success and you are so much more socially acceptable. Maybe not so clever and they're still sorting out that business of the drool running down your chin. Oh but that SMILE!

I wish I were the supreme ruler of all the known universe

Granted! You dominate on high from among the stars and heavens, miles above all life....too bad you're American, as the rest of universe is metric....

I wish I was incorruptible.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted! You dominate on high from among the stars and heavens, miles above all life....too bad you're American, as the rest of universe is metric....

I wish I was incorruptible.

Granted!
You are now encased in lucite--free from corruption or contamination for all time. As a plus you will also never change but stay precisely as you are (shame a person can't live that way.)

I wish those As Seen On TV things really did what they say they do!!

 

[E_Dantes]

Granted!
You are now encased in lucite--free from corruption or contamination for all time. As a plus you will also never change but stay precisely as you are (shame a person can't live that way.)

I wish those As Seen On TV things really did what they say they do!!

Granted. The universe has now been infected with 100% honesty......not so much as a little white lie is able to be uttered by you, anyone you meet or any advertisers......be careful of that for which you wish.

I wish I could see those I talk to on Lit.