Corrupted Wishes

[lakesailer_mi]

Granted!

Unfortunately, the wish granting fairy thought you spoke "I wish you--" (meaning me) "--were a Good Knight". She dressed me in rattling metal armor, mounted me atop a whinnying steed (that farts and stamps too much), and put me smack dab in the middle of your bedroom, where I spent the entire knight -- I mean night -- singing poetry of love and lost to you in the hopes that I could woo you into becoming my Lady.

I wish I could marry a rich Princess.

Granted! You marry Princess Alexandra who is 78 years old. You are forced to signed a pre-nup baring you from inheriting any money. She's not interested in sex but has you followed constantly to prevent any illicit encounters.

I wish my SO was more sexual and more adventurous in the bedroom.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted! You marry Princess Alexandra who is 78 years old. You are forced to signed a pre-nup baring you from inheriting any money. She's not interested in sex but has you followed constantly to prevent any illicit encounters.

I wish my SO was more sexual and more adventurous in the bedroom.

Granted, but now all she talks about is how sexy the neighbor's Great Dane is, and if you think he would consent to a 3way.

I wish I could make a living as a voice actress.

 

[EctoJohn]

I wish I could make a living as a voice actress.

Granted!
However, your only jobs are for iPhone games, allowing you to barely scrape by, although that still constitutes making a living.
(I also share that dream, btw. )


I wish I could win the lottery when it's in the hundreds of millions.

 

[EnglishChap6687]

Granted!
However, your only jobs are for iPhone games, allowing you to barely scrape by, although that still constitutes making a living.
(I also share that dream, btw. )


I wish I could win the lottery when it's in the hundreds of millions.

Granted!

However, everyone chose exactly the same number, so you only get £10 each.

I wish I could have sex in whatever way I like with Keeley Hazell, the model.

 

[tonyroleplays]

I wish I could have sex in whatever way I like with Keeley Hazell, the model.

Granted!

Unfortunately, you get the model -- as in 9" tall Barbie Doll type model -- which has, of course, no pussy or nipples and a mouth that won't open, which shouldn't be a problem as -- I hope -- you wouldn't have been able to fit your dick in it anyway! To make matters work, it is a pull-string talking type, which includes such sayings as Size matters. So sad for you! and Yes, I was faking, but you don't mind, do you?

I wish I could go back to college.

 

[Everyday_Man]

Granted!

Unfortunately, you get the model -- as in 9" tall Barbie Doll type model -- which has, of course, no pussy or nipples and a mouth that won't open, which shouldn't be a problem as -- I hope -- you wouldn't have been able to fit your dick in it anyway! To make matters work, it is a pull-string talking type, which includes such sayings as Size matters. So sad for you! and Yes, I was faking, but you don't mind, do you?

I wish I could go back to college.

Granted, but it's barber college.

I wish I never had to sleep again.

 

[tonyroleplays]

I wish I never had to sleep again.

Granted!

Unfortunately, after being up for 48 hours straight and feeling totally energized, your mind -- which was screaming for rest -- allowed you to walk zombie like into the street, where you were hit by a bus and killed. Dead isn't sleep .... is it?

I wish my role play fantasies would come true.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Granted!

Unfortunately, after being up for 48 hours straight and feeling totally energized, your mind -- which was screaming for rest -- allowed you to walk zombie like into the street, where you were hit by a bus and killed. Dead isn't sleep .... is it?

I wish my role play fantasies would come true.

Granted, you are now covered with rolls of every kind imaginable. Butter, wheat, sweet and savory. Unfortunately after being stuffed into every opening possible you realize you have a gluten and wheat allergy. The resulting allergic reaction closes all openings and you exist for the rest of your days being studied and ridiculed while tubes perform all functions necessary.

I wish everyone was happy

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Granted, you are now covered with rolls of every kind imaginable. Butter, wheat, sweet and savory. Unfortunately after being stuffed into every opening possible you realize you have a gluten and wheat allergy. The resulting allergic reaction closes all openings and you exist for the rest of your days being studied and ridiculed while tubes perform all functions necessary.

I wish everyone was happy

Granted. Everyone is happy. But now the world is boring and while happy, we are all board. No one is finding ways to get happier or to do much of anything and we all die, happy, but totally board.

I wish I could have sex with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted with no negative consequences.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Granted. Everyone is happy. But now the world is boring and while happy, we are all board. No one is finding ways to get happier or to do much of anything and we all die, happy, but totally board.

I wish I could have sex with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted with no negative consequences.

Granted, unfortunately "whoever" from the Whovilles is no longer the perky Who from the movies but is now a 78 year old Who grandmother. She can't get pregnant, is free of any Who diseases and is generally in good health. Sex with her is perfect, she is always available, ready and willing. You even come to adore her face, frozen in a smile and extra appendages she considers "bonuses".

I wish we could all see life from other points of view to appreciate that we are not always right.

 

[MausAss]

Granted, unfortunately "whoever" from the Whovilles is no longer the perky Who from the movies but is now a 78 year old Who grandmother. She can't get pregnant, is free of any Who diseases and is generally in good health. Sex with her is perfect, she is always available, ready and willing. You even come to adore her face, frozen in a smile and extra appendages she considers "bonuses".

I wish we could all see life from other points of view to appreciate that we are not always right.

Granted, but you quickly realize that everyone else think you are always in the wrong.

I wish I got a dollar for everytime I said boobies.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Granted, but you quickly realize that everyone else think you are always in the wrong.

I wish I got a dollar for everytime I said boobies.

Granted, unfortunately it's a McDonalds dollar and they discontinued their paper money years ago. They are happy to send you all their excess since it's taking up space in their warehouse and you can't use them anyway.

I wish I knew the one thing meatloaf wouldn't do for love.

MeatLoaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (Official Video) HD - YouTube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOikQWAL8qc

 

[MausAss]

Granted, unfortunately it's a McDonalds dollar and they discontinued their paper money years ago. They are happy to send you all their excess since it's taking up space in their warehouse and you can't use them anyway.

I wish I knew the one thing meatloaf wouldn't do for love.

MeatLoaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (Official Video) HD - YouTube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOikQWAL8qc

You'll find out, but from now on you are forced to explain it to everyone whenever the song is played or someone asks about it, or even if someone just mentions meat loaf.


"I wish I had remembered to suck all the mens dicks in the locker room this morning"...

ETA: Fuck you Sailor. That is not what I wished.

 

[Iceprincess12]

You'll find out, but from now on you are forced to explain it to everyone whenever the song is played or someone asks about it, or even if someone just mentions meat loaf.

Your wish?

 

[MausAss]

Your wish?

I wish I had remembered to put a wish in that post.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I wish I had remembered to put a wish in that post.

Granted, but then you're in the Edit thread, and suddenly your wish is changed to ...

"I wish I had remembered to suck all the mens dicks in the locker room this morning"...
BWAHAHAHA!!!! I crack myself up!



I wish people got my sense of humor.

 

[MausAss]

Granted, but then you're in the Edit thread, and suddenly your wish is changed to ...

"I wish I had remembered to suck all the mens dicks in the locker room this morning"...
BWAHAHAHA!!!! I crack myself up!



I wish people got my sense of humor.

Granted, you are now the funniest man alive. The downside is that people expects you to be funny 100% of the time, and get really pissy when you're not.

I wish I was the best footballer (the real one, you play with your feet) in the world.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Granted, you are now the funniest man alive. The downside is that people expects you to be funny 100% of the time, and get really pissy when you're not.

I wish I was the best footballer (the real one, you play with your feet) in the world.

Granted, but it's an american gay man who grants wishes and you are now the best at providing testicle massage with your feet because he misunderstood the request.

I wish I was the best sailor in the world.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted, but it's an american gay man who grants wishes and you are now the best at providing testicle massage with your feet because he misunderstood the request.

I wish I was the best sailor in the world.

Granted. But you still can't remember the o and use an e because you're silly like that and we all tease you mercilessly.

I wish my friend date coming up was a more than friend date.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Granted. But you still can't remember the o and use an e because you're silly like that and we all tease you mercilessly.

I wish my friend date coming up was a more than friend date.

Granted, unfortunately he is more than friends with the girl he brought along and you get to watch all night as he whispers sweet nothings in her ear. Luckily for you he brought someone that wants to be more than friends with you and he spends all night breathing a mix of smoke and garlic in your ear.

I wish all stalkers look as good as Adam Levine from maroon 5 in his animals video, sans blood.

 

[Terranim]

Granted, unfortunately he is more than friends with the girl he brought along and you get to watch all night as he whispers sweet nothings in her ear. Luckily for you he brought someone that wants to be more than friends with you and he spends all night breathing a mix of smoke and garlic in your ear.

I wish all stalkers look as good as Adam Levine from maroon 5 in his animals video, sans blood.

Granted! All stalkers now look like a dead, bloodless Adam Levine from Maroon 5 in his animals video.

I wish I had one million dollars.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Granted! All stalkers now look like a dead, bloodless Adam Levine from Maroon 5 in his animals video.

I wish I had one million dollars.

Granted...Unfortunately the police have tape of you taking that money from a bank vault and you have it taken away and have to spend the next ten years in jail being the wife of your cell mate 'Bubba'.

I wish my house work got done magically every day.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Granted...Unfortunately the police have tape of you taking that money from a bank vault and you have it taken away and have to spend the next ten years in jail being the wife of your cell mate 'Bubba'.

I wish my house work got done magically every day.

Granted, unfortunately it's black magic and since the only house work you do is pick up your jacket from the floor where you drop it every night from work...it magically gets picked up and put in the closet but deposits mounds of filth that only hours of scrubbing will remove.

I wish wishing upon a falling star really worked.

 

[troubledone]

Granted, unfortunately it's black magic and since the only house work you do is pick up your jacket from the floor where you drop it every night from work...it magically gets picked up and put in the closet but deposits mounds of filth that only hours of scrubbing will remove.

I wish wishing upon a falling star really worked.

I wish the great melt down resulted in a slick flow between her legs

 

[Iceprincess12]

I wish the great melt down resulted in a slick flow between her legs

Trouble...never playing by the rules.

Granted, unfortunately you find she isn't flesh and blood as you had hoped. Her endless flow brings death and destruction, totally annihilating everything and everyone. Fortunately this means you can't make any more wishes that can be corrupted

I wish people had common sense.