Daddy Doms and the girls who love them

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cascadiabound]

I'm another guy with a strong aversion to the label. Perhaps part of the reason is that I've had children who called me "Daddy", so I have an emotional investment in that word that isn't compatible with its usage in DD.

I'm glad to hear it! I identify quite strongly with a DD archetype — in particular, a nurturing quality that manifests itself in my D/s play — but I wouldn't want to be called "Daddy", nor would I wish to engage in any age play rituals.
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I think we have here another case of the label itself getting in the way of figuring out what the feel of things are. Labels interfering with self discovery. I don't want to think of myself as a child or a little girl either.... I'm a grown up woman for fucks sake, but the dynamic does feel right to me more often than not.

 

[SalvDali]

Definitely a label issue for me. I have 2 kids that call me daddy. My only experience with bdsm up until about 10 months ago was from internet porn and a friend I have known since high school who seemed to feed off wanting to be the wierd guy so I never had any inclination to talk to him about it until about a month ago. I don't even remember which book I read first. It was recommended to me here and one of the early chapters was D/d and I just skipped it without a second thought. Ignorance on my part and I bet it happens a lot.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't find age play or incest play done by others offensive or disgusting. It just turns me off to think about myself in that type of scene or dynamic. Maybe it has to do with my own personal demons from my child hood.

 

[Nzerxx]

There a many types of Daddy Dom/ little girl relationships some don't have any thing to do with age play and or incest. Its more that he has attributes that a Daddy has and the woman needs guidance nurturing and to mature in one or many ways.

A Daddy is the first male a girl has a loving and caring relationship with he is King and Ruler of her world for a number of years. So to call someone Daddy, with some can, be the highest form of respect woman can give a man.

A little girl wants to please her Daddy mostly because she loves his approval to make Daddy unhappy with her worse than any punishment he can give her.

lit m

This is what I identify most with I love that he cares so much what I feel and think. I have issues with the title so working our way through that but it has never been about incest! No way in hell

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I'm glad you have seen your way through the off putting label. It always surprises me that the term has such a visceral negative reaction for so many.

Yes. And untold words have broad similarities but quite different specifics. I have an idea in my head of the concept of "sandwich." It involves meat and bread and cheese and lettuce. If you told me you were going to order a sandwich with two scoops of Chunky Monkey, I might first have unpleasant visions of ice cream melting into spicy mustard.

And yet the concept of sandwich is elastic enough to encompass an ice cream sandwich. People easily embrace the applicable part of the concept and apply it to a different part of the meal.

A Daddy is as different from a "Daddy" (or Daddy Dom) as is a cake from a crabcake. And yet we understand why they share similarities of name. No one rejects a crabcake because it omits frosting.

Also, crabcakes are reeeeally hard to write "Happy Birthday Todd" on, and the cocktail sauce clogs the icing gun.

 

[cascadiabound]

Yes. And untold words have broad similarities but quite different specifics. I have an idea in my head of the concept of "sandwich." It involves meat and bread and cheese and lettuce. If you told me you were going to order a sandwich with two scoops of Chunky Monkey, I might first have unpleasant visions of ice cream melting into spicy mustard.

And yet the concept of sandwich is elastic enough to encompass an ice cream sandwich. People easily embrace the applicable part of the concept and apply it to a different part of the meal.

A Daddy is as different from a "Daddy" (or Daddy Dom) as is a cake from a crabcake. And yet we understand why they share similarities of name. No one rejects a crabcake because it omits frosting.

Also, crabcakes are reeeeally hard to write "Happy Birthday Todd" on, and the cocktail sauce clogs the icing gun.

and this, dear DGE, is why we all love it when you post around here. Oh so clarifying...

now.... may I pleeeeaassseeeee have an icecream sandwich??? you have made me very hungry....

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

and this, dear DGE, is why we all love it when you post around here. Oh so clarifying...

now.... may I pleeeeaassseeeee have an icecream sandwich??? you have made me very hungry....

Why thank you.

If I had ice cream sandwiches, I'd give you one, cb. Sadly, I only have ice, cream, and sandwiches.

 

[Slave4daddy]

It's obvious with my name, I love older men. I am not into she play per se, but feeling safe and secure with dadddy. Being protected by a Dom who is older, successful, nurturing brings me to my knees and ready to be dadddys toy.

 

[BiBunny]

I used to swear I'd never call a man "Daddy" because that's what I call my actual father. After a trainwreck of a relationship, I swore I'd never be with another Dom again. Then, I met my Daddy, and he blew both of those things out of the water.

There's ageplay sometimes, but no real incest stuff. (But if he wanted there to be, I'd be fine with it.) He's not even that much older than I am--just two years.

I can't even begin to speculate on the whys and wherefores. But there's something about it that feels right when I call him "Daddy," just like it feels right when he calls me "kitten."

Who knows?

 

[MaBelle3120]

I think its also important to point out that its not related to "Daddy Issues". This is not related to any "issues", its merely a different dynamic for a relationship.

I have a wonderful father, I was raised in a loving home with two parents that exemplified what a relationship should be, and always treated me like a Princess. Why is it so wrong that I would want to take all of the good qualities from my childhood and expect them in a relationship?

To be cared for, loved, protected, cherished, guided... those are the things that I get from my Daddy Dom. I call him Daddy because to me, it is a term that encompasses the best qualities in a man I could want. Someone that is responsible, protective, caring, mature, and loving.

Theres no age regression in our relationship, its not like he's physically babying me, but it is nice to be indulged and not have to worry about 'adulting' all of the time, because I know Daddy is there to take over. Just like a Dom, he makes the decisions. Its just that with a Daddy Dom, those decisions focus more on my well-being and my happiness and helping me be a better 'Little'

 

[Nzerxx]

I think its also important to point out that its not related to "Daddy Issues". This is not related to any "issues", its merely a different dynamic for a relationship.

I have a wonderful father, I was raised in a loving home with two parents that exemplified what a relationship should be, and always treated me like a Princess. Why is it so wrong that I would want to take all of the good qualities from my childhood and expect them in a relationship?

To be cared for, loved, protected, cherished, guided... those are the things that I get from my Daddy Dom. I call him Daddy because to me, it is a term that encompasses the best qualities in a man I could want. Someone that is responsible, protective, caring, mature, and loving.

Theres no age regression in our relationship, its not like he's physically babying me, but it is nice to be indulged and not have to worry about 'adulting' all of the time, because I know Daddy is there to take over. Just like a Dom, he makes the decisions. Its just that with a Daddy Dom, those decisions focus more on my well-being and my happiness and helping me be a better 'Little'

This

 

[barefootgirl69]

I am glad I found this thread. At first, I read through the first few posts and couldn't believe how negative things were and the assumptions about DD/lg being about incest. I thought I would try to find where this thread was bumped to a more recent post, and I'm glad I did.

Yes. And untold words have broad similarities but quite different specifics. I have an idea in my head of the concept of "sandwich." It involves meat and bread and cheese and lettuce. If you told me you were going to order a sandwich with two scoops of Chunky Monkey, I might first have unpleasant visions of ice cream melting into spicy mustard.

And yet the concept of sandwich is elastic enough to encompass an ice cream sandwich. People easily embrace the applicable part of the concept and apply it to a different part of the meal.

A Daddy is as different from a "Daddy" (or Daddy Dom) as is a cake from a crabcake. And yet we understand why they share similarities of name. No one rejects a crabcake because it omits frosting.

Also, crabcakes are reeeeally hard to write "Happy Birthday Todd" on, and the cocktail sauce clogs the icing gun.

This is exactly right! I have a dad who is my father and a Daddy who is my protector/comforter/Dom. These two never cross paths in my mind.

It's obvious with my name, I love older men. I am not into she play per se, but feeling safe and secure with dadddy. Being protected by a Dom who is older, successful, nurturing brings me to my knees and ready to be dadddys toy.

Here, I will only add that not all Daddies are older. I grew up always liking older men. Now, I have come to realize age really has nothing to do with it, maturity does. I trust wisdom, and my Daddy is younger than I am. If he were older, that's okay, too.

 

[Blackandstrong]

I have been a Dom for many years. As I get older I have moved More from D/S to DD/lg. It is about keeping a woman feeling safe in my arms not about an age thing.

 

[PrimalFear]

In my past two D/S relationships I've enjoyed the Daddy/Babygirl dynamic.
Whilst in the bedroom age play happens frequently, in day to day circumstances it feels more like more of a gesture from the sub, you're taking on the role of her primary protector more than roleplaying a father/daughter dynamic.

At least that's the way I've experienced it so far, bit of a mix.
Perhaps it's easier to fall into the dynamic due to me being older and my partners often much younger.

I don't hear much about it from vanilla relationships, apart from those who have young children and have gotten used to calling their partner daddy.

 

[BBWSugarKitty]

This is what I identify most with I love that he cares so much what I feel and think. I have issues with the title so working our way through that but it has never been about incest! No way in hell

This! It's not about being family but an older man that cares and teaches her

 

[cascadiabound]

This! It's not about being family but an older man that cares and teaches her

A daddy dom does not necessarily have to be older IMHO.

 

[Miles Long]

A daddy dom does not necessarily have to be older IMHO.

He could be younger or even the exact same age. Also, doesn't have to be a he - daddies can be shes as well.

 

[gracie920101]

He could be younger or even the exact same age. Also, doesn't have to be a he - daddies can be shes as well.

I have never seen references to Mommy/lb play although on rare occasion have run across pictures. But in my mind there would be no reason this wouldn't cross gender lines.

I've never identified as little or middle but it would be very easy to slip into it as the desire for nurturing and wanting the safety/security offered by the dynamic is strong having missed it as a child. So it fascinates me.

 

[jaybell1202]

Daddy doesn't always mean older or incestuous. It is more a different mind set to the dominant role of the man over their submissive. It has nothing to do with my own father, I have no Daddy issues, and do not associate by own father with the word or meaning of Daddy.
Daddy implies playful but still in power. While in bed he's in control and I no longer have to make the decisions or wonder if the ones out of my control will hurt me. I know he never will.
You see Daddy Dom as some weird twisted age thing or for girls who didn't have a dad who loved them when in reality its about trust and dominance otherwise you just have a man with power over a woman with no pleasure. Now who the hell wants that?

 

[Farawyn]

Daddy doesn't always mean older or incestuous. It is more a different mind set to the dominant role of the man over their submissive. It has nothing to do with my own father, I have no Daddy issues, and do not associate by own father with the word or meaning of Daddy.
Daddy implies playful but still in power. While in bed he's in control and I no longer have to make the decisions or wonder if the ones out of my control will hurt me. I know he never will.
You see Daddy Dom as some weird twisted age thing or for girls who didn't have a dad who loved them when in reality its about trust and dominance otherwise you just have a man with power over a woman with no pleasure. Now who the hell wants that?

You can have pleasure and trust without a Daddy. That dynamic is not for everyone.

 

[kittiGoddess]

don't be ashamed, of your kinks, I admit to liking the older guy too, I always look for 60+ , I have done the Daddy thing even though I don't enjoy it.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Farawyn]

don't be ashamed, of your kinks, I admit to liking the older guy too, I always look for 60+ , I have done the Daddy thing even though I don't enjoy it. think of yourself as doing a good deed

Yea. This is fucked up. Like Elle said, 2 totally different issues.
What you're describing is statutory rape.

 

[jaybell1202]

You can have pleasure and trust without a Daddy. That dynamic is not for everyone.

Of course it doesn't have to be that dynamic to equal pleasure. But this discussion was about the Daddy Dom relationship and so my comment was about that specifically. Even as a sub I find pleasure in non BDSM encounters. You have to find what is right for you.

 

[Farawyn]

Of course it doesn't have to be that dynamic to equal pleasure. But this discussion was about the Daddy Dom relationship and so my comment was about that specifically. Even as a sub I find pleasure in non BDSM encounters. You have to find what is right for you.

Agreed 100%!