Daddy Doms and the girls who love them

[Wild_Honey_66]

I have never seen references to Mommy/lb play although on rare occasion have run across pictures. But in my mind there would be no reason this wouldn't cross gender lines...

I have a PYL streak that is heavy on the caretaker aspect and I've frequently used pet names like 'sweet boy,' 'good boy,' etc., although I will say that I think I most often use it in a different way than my DD calls me 'babygirl.' I typically use it in a teasing, playful, flirty way, bordering on being patronizing or condescending if they get off on a splash of humiliation (and many of them do).

In contrast, I don't like any kind of humiliation play as a sub. When I hear 'princess,' 'kitten,' whatever, it might be playful, but it is wholly tender, without any hint of disapproval or judgement.

I've been called Mommy once, early on in my exploring. Eh, it's not really my thing, but I happened to be lactating at the time and it really worked for my partner. Ultimately, I think it can be as valuable to find out what doesn't float your boat as it is to find out what does.

 

[SadAbstractMind]

What a great thread, I hope it keeps going.

I had/have a Daddy who is younger than me, I am not sure I will hear from him again since he was deported from the states back to the UK. I hold out lots of hope as he said he would. But it's nice to feel I can go somewhere and read positive things about DD/lg relationships and not all of the negative remarks.

 

[barefootgirl69]

What a great thread, I hope it keeps going.

I had/have a Daddy who is younger than me, I am not sure I will hear from him again since he was deported from the states back to the UK. I hold out lots of hope as he said he would. But it's nice to feel I can go somewhere and read positive things about DD/lg relationships and not all of the negative remarks.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It isn't easy when things are left 'unknown'. Hopefully, things will work out the way you want. Meanwhile, here we are to encourage one another!

 

[SadAbstractMind]

Thank you! You are very sweet.

 

[MatrimCauthon]

Hello,

I see there are some on going questions here, and I am not trying to interrupt. I just wanted to say I am relatively new here. Been in the playground a bit, but this thread and it's participants are what I am really interested in. Anyway, just wanted to say hi, I am Mat.

(Thanks for the time).

 

[Nzerxx]

Hello,

I see there are some on going questions here, and I am not trying to interrupt. I just wanted to say I am relatively new here. Been in the playground a bit, but this thread and it's participants are what I am really interested in. Anyway, just wanted to say hi, I am Mat.

(Thanks for the time).

Welcome Mat

 

[MatrimCauthon]

Welcome Mat

Thank you, Hi

 

[Gentledom45]

Hello to all the girls out there

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Lunation]

Yes. And untold words have broad similarities but quite different specifics. I have an idea in my head of the concept of "sandwich." It involves meat and bread and cheese and lettuce. If you told me you were going to order a sandwich with two scoops of Chunky Monkey, I might first have unpleasant visions of ice cream melting into spicy mustard.

And yet the concept of sandwich is elastic enough to encompass an ice cream sandwich. People easily embrace the applicable part of the concept and apply it to a different part of the meal.

A Daddy is as different from a "Daddy" (or Daddy Dom) as is a cake from a crabcake. And yet we understand why they share similarities of name. No one rejects a crabcake because it omits frosting.

Also, crabcakes are reeeeally hard to write "Happy Birthday Todd" on, and the cocktail sauce clogs the icing gun.

I want to start by saying that I agree with this post, but I want to empathize a bit with the people who have trouble with term.

It's not as simple as one word having two separate, if similar, applications. There is a significant emotional attachment to the word daddy. And that attachment is both why the word can be hard for people, and why it has value in the first place. There have been studies showing curse words spark an emotional response in the brain. It's not much of a stretch to assume that other words can illicit similar, if more positive, emotional responses.

Take the example of calling a woman a slut in bed. Maybe she gets off on it. Maybe she throws you out of bed. But there are feelings associated with that word. Now imagine calling her "promiscuous" while fucking her. Means basically the same thing...but you're liable to get a very different response. Well, you may still get thrown out of bed, but for different reasons. Point being, words have power, and some of that power is derived from our emotional associations with them. Slut is visceral, promiscuous is clinical. It's not as simple as just remembering there are two separate applications of the word.

In my particular experience, I have a relationship that had a lot of the aspects of DD/lg; the safety, caring, etc. And...it was really, really good. But I also have a small child who calls me daddy. And that terminology was a bit too far for me. But one night I pushed my partner's boundaries a bit and I was so proud of her and it seemed only fair to try the term "Daddy" if it would make her more comfortable. And it turned out I liked it...a lot. The next morning was a bit awkward, but that passed, and now I'm really glad we made the leap. The word, and emotional associations with it, were both the barrier and the reward. Though I wouldn't classify myself as a daddy dom yet. I'm just her Daddy. That aspect of me exists in relation to her.

Anyway, I do agree with the above post. But if you're like me and you have issues with it, it's a little more difficult than how it was presented here. But also very worth it. Or it was for me.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

I find the DD/lg an interesting dynamic. I never thought I was one who had those sorts of leanings, until I met someone where it just...fit. He had never even thought of himself as a "Daddy" type, until we talked about his style both in play and outside of it. He very much just has a...caring, spoiling, "looking after" way about himself. Calling him "Daddy" just comes naturally to me.

Also, just my two cents, but in my experience, age has nothing to do with it. The one whom I call my Daddy is only a couple of years older than I. On the other hand, I have played with someone who is technically old enough to be my actual father, but I have never felt the urge to refer to him as my Daddy.

Ahh, the oddities of life, no?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I find the DD/lg an interesting dynamic. I never thought I was one who had those sorts of leanings, until I met someone where it just...fit...

I think this happens a lot. Welcome to normal!

I find it curious that there is such a fuss being made over the use of the term Daddy to refer to a partner now, when it's already been in use in mainstream society for decades. Big Daddy, Sugar Daddy, Who's Your Daddy? etc. This is not a new idea.

Ever seen the original (1976) version of Freaky Friday? There is a scene after the switch in which Jodi Foster (in her mother's body) calls John Astin 'Daddy,' and the look on his face is priceless. He clearly did not find it repugnant, and I'm guessing that the reason the joke was included in the first place was because the filmmakers knew that the adults in the audience wouldn't, either.

 

[Cakecups]

I think this happens a lot. Welcome to normal!

I find it curious that there is such a fuss being made over the use of the term Daddy to refer to a partner now, when it's already been in use in mainstream society for decades. Big Daddy, Sugar Daddy, Who's Your Daddy? etc. This is not a new idea.

Ever seen the original (1976) version of Freaky Friday? There is a scene after the switch in which Jodi Foster (in her mother's body) calls John Astin 'Daddy,' and the look on his face is priceless. He clearly did not find it repugnant, and I'm guessing that the reason the joke was included in the first place was because the filmmakers knew that the adults in the audience wouldn't, either.

Ha! That's so funny, I love that they included that in the movie!

 

[barefootgirl69]

*skips through the thread*

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy... I love to hear him refer to himself as Daddy.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Ha! That's so funny, I love that they included that in the movie!

Hi!

There are loads of wives, clueless about BDSM, who call their husbands Daddy, my grandmother included. It gets brushed off because it's what the kids call him, but I think what gets overlooked is that nobody raises an eyebrow because in a lot of relationships, it's appropriate. He is Daddy to his wife in a different sense than he is to his children, but there is overlap, and a similar attitude and intent, even if the particulars are different.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

*skips through the thread*

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy... I love to hear him refer to himself as Daddy.

BFG!

All this Daddy talk has me hankering...

*scampers off in search*

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I want to start by saying that I agree with this post, but I want to empathize a bit with the people who have trouble with term.

It's not as simple as one word having two separate, if similar, applications. There is a significant emotional attachment to the word daddy. And that attachment is both why the word can be hard for people, and why it has value in the first place. There have been studies showing curse words spark an emotional response in the brain. It's not much of a stretch to assume that other words can illicit similar, if more positive, emotional responses.

Take the example of calling a woman a slut in bed. Maybe she gets off on it. Maybe she throws you out of bed. But there are feelings associated with that word. Now imagine calling her "promiscuous" while fucking her. Means basically the same thing...but you're liable to get a very different response. Well, you may still get thrown out of bed, but for different reasons. Point being, words have power, and some of that power is derived from our emotional associations with them. Slut is visceral, promiscuous is clinical. It's not as simple as just remembering there are two separate applications of the word.

In my particular experience, I have a relationship that had a lot of the aspects of DD/lg; the safety, caring, etc. And...it was really, really good. But I also have a small child who calls me daddy. And that terminology was a bit too far for me. But one night I pushed my partner's boundaries a bit and I was so proud of her and it seemed only fair to try the term "Daddy" if it would make her more comfortable. And it turned out I liked it...a lot. The next morning was a bit awkward, but that passed, and now I'm really glad we made the leap. The word, and emotional associations with it, were both the barrier and the reward. Though I wouldn't classify myself as a daddy dom yet. I'm just her Daddy. That aspect of me exists in relation to her.

Anyway, I do agree with the above post. But if you're like me and you have issues with it, it's a little more difficult than how it was presented here. But also very worth it. Or it was for me.

This is a really strong and thoughtful argument. Words are impossible to rid of all their associations, just as summer dog hair can't be shaken from a black shirt (I have recent experience in this simile).

That's why there are euphemisms that avoid those associations. Kellyanne Conway made the call that "lie" carried associations that "alternative facts" does not. GI Joe was launched as an action figure because "doll" had quintessentiallly female associations.

No doubt part of the appeal of "Daddy," is that it connotes positive aspects of caretaking, safety and support. And spankings. OK, yes, the spankings.

I'm not totally insensitive to the squick factor that exists for some people. My frustration is with the automatic rejection of a word used in a different context. Step back from the word, people!

It's cool that you pushed through your hesitation and that it's paying off. The name isn't for everyone because the kink isn't for everyone. And of course, plenty of people have aspects of DD/lg without using the word "Daddy" or "Daddy Dom." (Elle is one who's discussed this). But if it is someone's kink, they shouldn't let a word squick them away from some happiness and hot kinky fuckery.

 

[SalvDali]

kinky fuckery.

I just laughed so hard i had to clean my whiskey sour off my keyboard and monitor...

 

[cascadiabound]

embracing...

some happiness and hot kinky fuckery.

words and terms be damned.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Hahahah... picked that one up eavesdropping on the cool kids' lunch table.

 

[Endless_Night]

Hahahah... picked that one up eavesdropping on the cool kids' lunch table.

Where do you eat lunch?

*waves at DGE*

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

embracing...



words and terms be damned.

You dom the fuck outta those words, cb!

Where do you eat lunch?

*waves at DGE*

The sub shop!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

 

[Farawyn]

You dom the fuck outta those words, cb!



The sub shop!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

I was gonna say Hole Foods.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I was gonna say Hole Foods.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]