Dear Chemgirl (Abby)

[crazychemgirl]

I look forward to feedback from everyone who took my advice … follow-up questions are encouraged

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

“Interesting” is a good word

You think that now. Just wait until you get my cock shot in your PM.

 

[LupineOne]

You think that now. Just wait until you get my cock shot in your PM.

Variety is the spice of life.

 

[BrendaBear]

Variety is the spice of life.

Wait… variety? You told me Wolves are the spice of life!!! What the heck?

 

[Daisy_Love]

Dear Chemgirl,
I am seeking advice on a little problem Im having on Lit. I have become a full time resident of the “friend zone” here. In fact so much so that I may be the last person to even get a tickle from **user not named**.. Not that the good folks of Lit don’t make lovely friends but as a full time resident of the Hen House, it’s hard to find a way to get my freak on when the ladies just want to sip the tea and dish with me. How do I break free?

-Boneless in Bemidji


Dear Boneless in Bemidji,
Despite the obvious benefits of being in the inner sanctum of women, I can understand you’re in desperate need of some e-bone action. I would recommend when you encounter a woman on lit you are interested in, that you immediately send her a cock shot to her via PM … with no explanation besides maybe, “you like that, bitch?!” …, cuz we all know women go for the assholes.
As well, always treat her with aloofness and don’t pay too much attention to her in the threads.. always leave her wanting more.
Beyond that, if you are still having trouble getting some lady action on lit, I would recommend posting many (and I mean MANY) photos of your cock in AmPics .. as well as action shots or video of you masturbating to pony porn. Girls love that.

Dying

 

[Bry1313]

fucking hell. There’s toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror now thanks a lot.

Check your PM’s……

 

[LupineOne]

Wait… variety? You told me Wolves are the spice of life!!! What the heck?

We are. We can nuzzle, lick, and bite better than any, and we’re a ready made cuddle blanket with all that fur!

 

[crazychemgirl]

Dear Chemgirl,
I'm relatively new to Lit and find myself very aroused by the female voice and would love to try phone/voice sometime but I have no idea how to find a wonderful woman willing to take my phone/voice virginity from me unless it's for $4.95 a minute. What should I do?
-Voice Virgin in Vancouver


Dear Voice Virgin in Vancouver,
It’s so hard for new people on lit and so I appreciate you reaching out to ask advice on navigating this world. If you are new and unsure, I would recommend amping up your interaction with the lovely ladies of lit. Branch out, try different threads… different ways to interact and share. There’s plenty of threads where you can get to know women casually without it coming across as you trying to get them into bed, or into your speakers.
Make connections with your words, and also try the “Let’s Hear Your Voice” thread … you can get to know which voices you like and you can share your own.
Lit is all about a community… engage in the discussion and you will find yourself fitting in and I’m 100% sure you will find someone who you can share your vocal fantasies with.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Dear Chemgirl,
I'm relatively new to Lit and find myself very aroused by the female voice and would love to try phone/voice sometime but I have no idea how to find a wonderful woman willing to take my phone/voice virginity from me unless it's for $4.95 a minute. What should I do?
-Voice Virgin in Vancouver


Dear Voice Virgin in Vancouver,
It’s so hard for new people on lit and so I appreciate you reaching out to ask advice on navigating this world. If you are new and unsure, I would recommend amping up your interaction with the lovely ladies of lit. Branch out, try different threads… different ways to interact and share. There’s plenty of threads where you can get to know women casually without it coming across as you trying to get them into bed, or into your speakers.
Make connections with your words, and also try the “Let’s Hear Your Voice” thread … you can get to know which voices you like and you can share your own.
Lit is all about a community… engage in the discussion and you will find yourself fitting in and I’m 100% sure you will find someone who you can share your vocal fantasies with.

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

*starts digging through my couch

 

[Daisy_Love]

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

You are soooooo gonna regret saying that

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

You are soooooo gonna regret saying that

Beat ya. She already does

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

With your voice? You shouldn't settle for anything less than $10...

 

[Bry1313]

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

I assume you accept dollars?

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I assume you accept dollars?

Make him convert it to £

 

[BrendaBear]

…. woman willing to take my phone/voice virginity from me unless …

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

*starts digging through my couch

With your voice? You shouldn't settle for anything less than $10...

I assume you accept dollars?

As I am reading this, I am thinking of the quintessential, stereotypical 60’s/70’s housewife talk… “so Madge and I were at the hair salon, and in walks this woman wearing the most awful shoes! They clashed with her dress and don’t get me started about…”. It helps if you hear in that voice….

 

[lakesailer_mi]

As I am reading this, I am thinking of the quintessential, stereotypical 60’s/70’s housewife talk… “so Madge and I were at the hair salon, and in walks this woman wearing the most awful shoes! They clashed with her dress and don’t get me started about…”. It helps if you hear in that voice….

That's hotter than you think....

 

[Wand3rlust]

With your voice? You shouldn't settle for anything less than $10...

Wanna be my agent? All enquiries through @lakesailer_mi Hehe

 

[crazychemgirl]

Dear Chemgirl,
I noticed that a very attractive lady further enhanced her good looks via the use of a spoon. So, I decided that I should do the same, and become the handsome man that my Grandmother told me I would be (when I was 5).

Annoyingly, it wouldn't stay put, so I used super glue to fix it to my nose.
However I need to have an MRI scan soon, so will need to remove all metal from my body.

What can I do to remove it?

-Spoonface - in The Land of the Dragon


Dear Spoonface - in The Land of the Dragon,
This is why spoon-nosing should strictly be left to the professionals… you can get seriously hurt or injured. There should be a warning, permanent injury and disfigurement may occur. Nevertheless, what’s done is done.
My first recommendation is to soak your nose in some warm soapy water, though this also involves a certain amount of risk. Too deep and you will not be able to breathe and death by drowning is a serious concern.
Too long and your whole nose may fall off. You might want to do this with the supervision of an adult. Though I’m sure you are an adult, you clearly need a more adulty adult.
Secondly you could attempt to use some rubbing alcohol on a q-tip and rub gently underneath to attempt to dissolve the glue… again, this also comes with some risk. You might permanently lose your sense of smell, which has its benefits (no more farts!)… but also the lovely perfume of lit will be lost to you forever. You could also risk wiping off any identifying marks on your nose, which might make it difficult to unlock your phone in the future or help you evade authorities … the latter probably being beneficial to certain types of people.
If all the above fails you might have to deep dive on the internet to create a spoon-nose disorder that you can blame when the doctor confronts you. This might require the use of hacking techniques to create multiple fake-news articles … and I’m not sure this is within your capabilities.

 

[Mr_bogey]

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

#worthit

 

[Mr_bogey]

Dear Chemgirl,
I noticed that a very attractive lady further enhanced her good looks via the use of a spoon. So, I decided that I should do the same, and become the handsome man that my Grandmother told me I would be (when I was 5).

Annoyingly, it wouldn't stay put, so I used super glue to fix it to my nose.
However I need to have an MRI scan soon, so will need to remove all metal from my body.

What can I do to remove it?

-Spoonface - in The Land of the Dragon


Dear Spoonface - in The Land of the Dragon,
This is why spoon-nosing should strictly be left to the professionals… you can get seriously hurt or injured. There should be a warning, permanent injury and disfigurement may occur. Nevertheless, what’s done is done.
My first recommendation is to soak your nose in some warm soapy water, though this also involves a certain amount of risk. Too deep and you will not be able to breathe and death by drowning is a serious concern.
Too long and your whole nose may fall off. You might want to do this with the supervision of an adult. Though I’m sure you are an adult, you clearly need a more adulty adult.
Secondly you could attempt to use some rubbing alcohol on a q-tip and rub gently underneath to attempt to dissolve the glue… again, this also comes with some risk. You might permanently lose your sense of smell, which has its benefits (no more farts!)… but also the lovely perfume of lit will be lost to you forever. You could also risk wiping off any identifying marks on your nose, which might make it difficult to unlock your phone in the future or help you evade authorities … the latter probably being beneficial to certain types of people.
If all the above fails you might have to deep dive on the internet to create a spoon-nose disorder that you can blame when the doctor confronts you. This might require the use of hacking techniques to create multiple fake-news articles … and I’m not sure this is within your capabilities.

Fuckin' @muddler35

 

[LupineOne]

I mean. I'll do $4.50?

*starts digging up all the stashes in the yard

 

[BrendaBear]

*starts digging up all the stashes in the yard

you have no idea how bad I wanted to post a gif of a dog digging a big hole…
Couldn’t find a Wolf doing that.

 

[LupineOne]

you have no idea how bad I wanted to post a gif of a dog digging a big hole…
Couldn’t find a Wolf doing that.

You should have anyway

 

[crazychemgirl]

Dear ChemGirl,
I love dicks. But I am running into a problem with the Lit dicks. I've been notified recently that the people attached to those dicks have feelings and get upset when you take too long to respond to their dick pic PM or tell them "got it" so you can go back to posting on the threads. They also don't seem to like it when you forget that you saw their dick or even if you simply forget what it looked like. What should I do to keep getting all the dicks without hurting anyone's feelings?

-It's a Hard Knob Life


Dear It’s a Hard Knob Life,
I love how you are trying to be considering of the feelings of the men… it’s so sweet. I don’t generally recommend it, but good on you.
First off, for remembering your dick adventures… I think a good idea for you would be to create a catalogue of them… maybe a template where you can save the photo next to the username of the owner of the dick …this also has the benefit of being able to revisit the best dicks and look at them lovingly. I’ve heard flash cards are also helpful for remembering. Or even mnemonics are good… an example might be:

“Bogey with the hoagie”

(Not an accurate reference I’m sure… I just needed an example. Sorry @Mr_bogey )

Now for placating the men-folk… I encourage you to take advantage of AI technology in this… ChatGPT is an extremely helpful tool.. you could use it to create loving short story thank you’s to all your dick suitors. That way even if you’ve been neglectful in a timely response you’re sure to be forgiven. This will also endear the men to you and they will follow you from thread to thread just waiting on their next opportunity to send you their engorged member. You could even create your own dick-cue to signal you are open to receiving swollen cock photos.

I wish you luck and may your PM be bursting at the seams with dick.