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Dear Chemgirl (Abby)

I'm enjoying this thread so much. I like trying to guess who the pleas for help come from, but I'm not invested enough to actually find out 🤣

And then there are some that resonate and honestly, I must also be targeted by the Cock Ness Monster...not sure I should be complaining though....oooo! 👀
 
crazychemgirl said:
Or you could post nothing but memes as a response and never answer a question directly. That’s always popular, ask @SirConradPeckereye
Click to expand...
Haha I do not ALWAYS just use memes, I can type out responses as well! You dufus head!🤪
crazychemgirl said:
… or last but not least,.. just angry react to every single one of their posts… that way they will know for SURE you are absolutely in NO way a stupid dufus-head.
Click to expand...
This sounds like you sometimes.... or @LaisDeMarieDeFrance 🤔🤪
 
Dear Chemgirl,
What should I do if I made a wish for more cock pics and now I regret it? The wish was "no take backsies" and I really wanna give backsies 😭

Help!

-Too Much Cock



Dear Too Much Cock,
Well… there’s a reason people say, “be careful what you wish for” …. Since the wish is a no refunds type … I think you’re stuck with your bounty of cock. From previous advice requests it seems that there are others who are WANTING more cock … there might be a way to salvage this. I recommend you post a thread where you offer your excess cock to those who are dick poor. You can be like the Robin Hood of cock … giving to those less fortunate than yourself. You could add it to your signature so the news could be spread far and wide that you are a “Purveyor of Penis”
 
crazychemgirl said:
Dear Chemgirl,
What should I do if I made a wish for more cock pics and now I regret it? The wish was "no take backsies" and I really wanna give backsies 😭

Help!

-Too Much Cock



Dear Too Much Cock,
Well… there’s a reason people say, “be careful what you wish for” …. Since the wish is a no refunds type … I think you’re stuck with your bounty of cock. From previous advice requests it seems that there are others who are WANTING more cock … there might be a way to salvage this. I recommend you post a thread where you offer your excess cock to those who are dick poor. You can be like the Robin Hood of cock … giving to those less fortunate than yourself. You could add it to your signature so the news could be spread far and wide that you are a “Purveyor of Penis”
Click to expand...
Too Much Cock, feel free to PM me. I have a system for all the cocks now.
 
Dear ChemGirl,
I may be considered for a leadership position in my current workplace. A friend of mine once called this position "the urinal" as basically it means everyone pisses all over you all day long.
I personally don't have a "pee kink" but I do always like to keep my colleagues happy.
I don't think I should take this position, but I'm trying to figure out how I can say no without saying no.

-I'm kinky but not that way.



Dear I’m kinky but not that way,
Work strife is the stress we all bear … well, I guess not all of us (stupid billionaires). If you want to let your work know you don’t want the position, but in a way that tells them you don’t want the position I recommend the following:
- Show up late for work, fuck around all day and then leave early… make sure that everyone knows you don’t give a fuck.
- Leave drawings of dicks all around your coworkers work spaces … but don’t sign them… just wink at them whenever you make eye contact with them.
- Come to work in only a budgee smuggler … if you don’t know what that is .. I’ll let you have the joy of googling
- Sign off all your emails with your superiors with “Appreciate it asshole” or “Thanks thunderdick”

… if you do all these things, I guarantee you will not be considered further for a leadership position!
 
Dear Chemgirl,
I've never written a note like this before. I have been here at Literotica for a little while and I enjoy the rush and excitement of the content and people here. In my real life I'm an incredibly bland and boring person in all areas of my life. My food is mush, my walls are white, and my sex life is like the 100 meter dash at the Olympics: only happening once every four years, lasting less than ten seconds, and looks the same every time. People have messaged me here and asked what my kinks are and I think they are talking about 60s rock bands. They throw out abbreviations and I feel like I'm failing a foreign language class again. I feel like a tourist or a fake. What should I do?

-Plain in Poughkeepsie



Dear Plain in Poughkeepsie,
Well good for you for wanting to explore the wonders of the kink world and broaden your horizons. To feel more at place with the conversations happening here, and be able to relate to other posters, I recommend you go out into the real world and EXPLORE! … you should post a Craigslist ad telling people you are searching to try all the sexual world has to offer… cuz really, you won’t know if you like it until you try it!!
Explain in your ad that you seek help from any and all types of people and kinks. Some suggestions if you’re feeling unsure or shy:
- golden showers
- the rusty trombone
- goatse
- lemon party
- shrimping
Be sure to give all the people who reply to your ad your home address and personal phone number … some of these acts you definitely want the safety of home court advantage… and details should probably stay off the internet.

I’m sure before you know it your wealth of sexual knowledge and experience will rival the kinkiest of posters on here! Then you will no longer feel like an outsider and can participate in all the fun conversations!!
 
crazychemgirl said:
Dear Chemgirl,
What should I do if I made a wish for more cock pics and now I regret it? The wish was "no take backsies" and I really wanna give backsies 😭

Help!

-Too Much Cock



Dear Too Much Cock,
Well… there’s a reason people say, “be careful what you wish for” …. Since the wish is a no refunds type … I think you’re stuck with your bounty of cock. From previous advice requests it seems that there are others who are WANTING more cock … there might be a way to salvage this. I recommend you post a thread where you offer your excess cock to those who are dick poor. You can be like the Robin Hood of cock … giving to those less fortunate than yourself. You could add it to your signature so the news could be spread far and wide that you are a “Purveyor of Penis”
Click to expand...

I see the lit marketing team is at it again! 🫢🫢🫢
 
crazychemgirl said:
Dear ChemGirl,
I may be considered for a leadership position in my current workplace. A friend of mine once called this position "the urinal" as basically it means everyone pisses all over you all day long.
I personally don't have a "pee kink" but I do always like to keep my colleagues happy.
I don't think I should take this position, but I'm trying to figure out how I can say no without saying no.

-I'm kinky but not that way.



Dear I’m kinky but not that way,
Work strife is the stress we all bear … well, I guess not all of us (stupid billionaires). If you want to let your work know you don’t want the position, but in a way that tells them you don’t want the position I recommend the following:
- Show up late for work, fuck around all day and then leave early… make sure that everyone knows you don’t give a fuck.
- Leave drawings of dicks all around your coworkers work spaces … but don’t sign them… just wink at them whenever you make eye contact with them.
- Come to work in only a budgee smuggler … if you don’t know what that is .. I’ll let you have the joy of googling
- Sign off all your emails with your superiors with “Appreciate it asshole” or “Thanks thunderdick”

… if you do all these things, I guarantee you will not be considered further for a leadership position!
Click to expand...
You got thunderdick in there @crazychemgirl 😂

@lakesailer_mi this is perfect advice. I fully support a firm no. And you do know how to be firm 😉😈😘
 
Dear Chemgirl,
I need help to repair a broken heart. I fell in love with someone based on their big cock personality online, but then found that I had just zoomed in.

How do I repair their inevitable broken heart when I reveal that their cockpersonality just isn't big enough for me?

-Too Much Little Cock



Dear Too Much Little Cock,
The micro penis personality is a deceptive one indeed. It’s so disappointing when you realize you will never be satisfied!
I think to ensure your doomed love is not permanently scarred you should help them for future endeavours… that way they will know that you truly care but that they just aren’t the one for you.

I would send them penis personality enhancing products, so they can know what the root of the problem might be.
Also maybe accidentally get a massive dildo to show them what kind of penis personality is the right size for you. Maybe set up some ads for them in the personal pages … as I’m sure there are TONS of women out there interested in men with small cocks personalities … be sure to include lots of photos of him with objects to show scale of the photos .., such as a paper clip, a cheese knife, and possibly an eraser. You’ll have to figure out what works best for your ex-love.

I’m sure if you do these things, you will be able to part ways amicably and you can continue your search for a man with the biggest penis personality your body can handle.
 
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