Dear Litster...

[kendra1980]

Dear Ack Ack Ack Litster

That was some impersonation...please send a voice mail so I can listen to it at will.

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Software Borrowing Litster,

I can't remember who you are, but if you spot this, could you please return said photo editing software disc because I think I need it again.

Many thanks.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear Cheeky Litster ...

It wasn't me.

Covering My Ass Litster

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Covering Your Ass Litster,

Can you please uncover it, so that I can spank it.

And we never did give you instructions, did we?

It's All Coming Back To Me Now Litster.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear It's All Coming Back To Me Now Litster

Yes we did and we even had a successful run of it.

Now about this uncovering of asses ...

Not Wanting To Show My Ass Litster

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Not Wanting To Show My Ass Litster,

We did? It's not all quite back yet.

I'm afraid the ass uncovering is the price you have to pay.

You did say you would send me a gift, after all.

Waiting In Anticipation Litster.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear Waiting In Anticipation Litster,

My we sure cant remember shit as of lately huh?

Is there anything I can do to assist you in said memory loss?

Yes I did, but I thought for certain you would want something other than my ass? Are you sure?

Confused Ass Question Asking Litster

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Confused Ass Question Asking Litster,

Why is your ass confused?

Is this something else I failed to remember?

Perhaps an unveiling might aid with the alzheimers.

Losing My Marbles Litster.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear Losing My (actually Your) Marbles Litster

It's keeps me sane when my ass is confused. Get it?

Lord only know what else you failed to remember, do we really wanna go there?

What if Lit crashes? Who's fault would it be?

Marble Playing Litster

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Marble Playing Litster,

Does your donkey get confused as well as your ass?

I certainly remember some things. You gonna talk dirty to me again?

And of course it will be your fault if Lit crashes. Even if you're not here.

PS, can I have my marbles back as well when you send the software?

A Few Marbles Short Of A Solitaire Game Litster

 

[MsTexas]

Dear A Few Marbles Short Of A Solitaire Game Litster,

LMAO, yes and my parrot goes nuts!! It's a zoo here, yanno?

I'll talk dirty to you again if you behave, yer such a cheeky slut.

Why does that not surprise me? *gag* LOL

I'm keeping the marbles, but the software was sent already, did you forget again?

Keeping Your Marbles To Play With Cause I'm Bored Litster

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Keeping My Marbles To Play With Because You're Bored Litster,

Jesus, how the hell do you manage to keep all those in your knickers?

Behave? That's the first time you've ever asked me to do that, you dirty slapper.

It shouldn't surprise you, I've had the honour for far too long, time I passed it on to someone more deserving

Oh bollocks, you sent it? WTF have I done with that then?

Really In Need Of Having Those Marbles Returned Because I Haven't A Fucking Clue What I Did With The Software Litster.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear Really In Need Of Having Those Marbles Returned Because I Haven't A Fucking Clue What I Did With The Software Litster,

It fits perfect with my big ass, gesssh woman keep up will ya!!

You made me the dirty slapper that I am today, are you proud?

Then following in your footsteps will be an honor, I only hope that I dont disappoint you. No pressure, right?

I don't know, I wasn't there, should I have called?

Boy That Was A Mouth Full Litster

 

[magicalhands]

Dear Lister,

THANK YOU!!!!!!

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Boy That Was A Mouthful Litster,

*And I bet that's not the first time you've said that, eh?*

Well if you keep that kind of menagerie in there, you must be wearing pantaloons, never mind panties!

Of course I'm proud, who wouldn't be when you do it so well?

No pressure, obviously. Just don't fuck it up or you're in trouble. Well, more trouble than you're in already, obviously.

If you'd called, it still wouldn't help me to remember now where I put it back then, but thanks for the belated offer.

It's Been A While Since I Had A Mouthful Litster.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear It's Been A While Since I Had A Mouthful Litster,

Actually it has been a long time since I've said that. But we wont go into the reason why NOT everything is big in Texas.

I guess I should just stop wearing panties.

It's just one of the things I do well.

Me fuck up? You seriously have to be kidding?

Well it wouldn't have done much good since I don't have your telephone number but you're more than welcome for the blank offer.

Craving More Than A Mouthful Litster

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Craving More Than A Mouthful Litster,

You mean that those Texan boys have been lying to me all this time??

Actually, I thought you stopped wearing panties years ago, but if you want to keep up the charade...

Yeah, the other thing you do well is steal marbles, by the looks of it

Ok, Ok....if fucking up isn't on the agenda, how about fucking down?

I'm just imagining the scene as you called directory enquiries...."Yes, she lives in Wales, she gets her tits out and she's called Lovemonster....oh, you do have the number?"

Right, send me back those marbles right now or else.

Time For Me To Be Heading To Bed Because My Brain Has Turned To Mush Litster.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear Time For Me To Be Heading To Bed Because My Brain Has Turned To Mush Litster

Your ass should be in bed already but it'll be here waiting for you in the morning.

Yep, they all lied. Oh wait, tell me who they are and I'll confirm if they're lieing or not.

Well now that it's out, I guess the charade is over LOL

Fucking down? Can you teach me that?

LMAO ... I have nothing to add to that.

Or else what?

Holding Marbles For Ransom Litster

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

dear got a lot on your plate litster
.............I hope some of the bitchiness stays,,,



m.i.a again litster
bring your ass back




skirting around the ISSUE litster
you know you want it
silly

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Cursing Litster...

I hope you feel better, and that old man's disease isn't contagious!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

dear understanding litster
have you any CLOTHES for said trip my dear?

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Litster that Makes Me Laugh Out Loud...

Clothes....check
Sunblock...check
Swimsuits...check


Now where did I put those plane tickets


come go with me!

 

[lexielou2]

My dearest DB and Razzy,

Thank you for everything...and for always being you...two people who are always there for me when I need you and who I can depend on...

I will always love you...with all my heart

I am so sorry for any hurt I have caused recently

Yours always
Lexie

 

[smotherman]

Dear Litster,

Thanks for the very cute PM.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

phew.