Dear X

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear X,

I know I said I wouldn't say anything but just let me yell FIRE!, run for your freaking life.

You're just a person, in a long string of persons, who all run eventually...some burned, some just singed.

~Ready to sweep up the ash.

Dear X,

I would listen to "Ms. Ready to Sweep up the ash." She knows what she is talking about.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

dear cutie at the bus stop
TY
i overheard what you said and it made my afternoon
and she was right
my milkshake is better

 

[asian_princess]

dear cutie at the bus stop
TY
i overheard what you said and it made my afternoon
and she was right
my milkshake is better

Dear Cutie at the bus stop.

Of course her milkshake is better.

It brings all the boys AND girls to the yard...

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear Cutie at the bus stop.

Of course her milkshake is better.

It brings all the boys AND girls to the yard...

weeeeeeeeeeeee
lets go dancing ms apppppppyy

 

[Mr_Nothing]

My manshake bring the girls to the yard...
My hump, hump, my lovely Larry lump!


(Who needs a six-pack when you've got a keg?)

 

[LadyGenevieve]

Dear X,

Yes that was your car they found on fire. Barbeque anyone?

 

[Guest]

Dear X

You really are pathetic, you know that? But it's really amusing seeing you reap what you sow at long last.

 

[Peaches1990]

Dear weekend
I am so fucking ready. Don't be late.
Peaches xoxo

 

[o_so_wet]

Dear X...

Maybe....if I start lying.... you'll believe me when I tell you something.

x
OSW

 

[LadyGenevieve]

Dear X, Thanks so much for sending the chocolates. I had the courier deliver them to your new girlfriend. The note attached says how much you love her. Knowing your penchant for the stupid, I wonder whether she will ever be able to leave the powder room. Retaliation was never your speciality. Get over yourself.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear dumbass
You are a dumbass
That is all

 

[kendra1980]

Dear dumbass
You are a dumbass
That is all

Ditto to another dumb ass, and add that she's just dumb ass creepy too.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Ditto to another dumb ass, and add that she's just dumb ass creepy too.

Dear creepy dumb ass
You are creepy
And a dumb ass
End of message

 

[justnoldfriend]

Dear X,

........................ ???

-me

 

[LadyGenevieve]

Dear X, I packed your things and put them on a plane to Zurich. You should probably have someone arrange to have them returned stateside if you need anything - like - a change of clothing? Au revoir.

 

[msmaggie]

Dear x

You may think you are more fun when you drink. But you are wrong. It's not fun watching you stagger to your seat or leaving early because you're making a scene. It's not fun having to get the doorman to help me get you in the car. It's not fun worrying about you getting run over when you decide to lie down in the street. It's not fun when you start criticizing me when I don't "go with the flow". It's not fun driving you home while your passed out in the passenger seat.

signed

I'm not your designated driver.

 

[kendra1980]

Dear creepy dumb ass
You are creepy
And a dumb ass
End of message

Got it in one, chicklet.



Dear Powers that Be....

Good job, and keep up the good work. Nat and I are feeling the sweet relief that comes from your goodness.

~Happily Ever After Rocks

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear CIO,

Your management style is beyond pale. That email you sent to our entire bureau telling us that we're not reviewed on how nice and personable we are when dealing with our customers, meaning we can be the biggest SOB so long as we solve the problem, was truly enlightening. The next time one of the other executives or their staff has a problem, I'll be sure to be the grumpiest, smarmiest, asshole while I quickly solve their problem because it's all about speed and efficiency, right?

And thank you for pointing out that we need to keep up with current technology. I'll remember that as I'm paying for all my classes because the organization I work for is too cheap to even pay part of continuing education bills. When I finish my last class next month and get my degree, I'll be sure to thank you for your brilliant insight.

Finally, it warms my heart to hear you say that we should be grateful to have a job in this economy. Nothing motivates an employee more than hearing from the higher ups their disdain for the folks on the front line. You know, the ones who are the face of the organization.

One final thought. There was a reason I left my previous job and subsequently found out others followed my lead. Apparently the reason for our departure didn't register with you. To have you show up because you were able to bamboozle the executive who was tossed out of our agency for his incompetence gave me the impetus to move on as quickly as possible. Your email only solidifies my comments to people who asked me what kind of person you are.

You had better pray I don't win the lottery because if I do, the old song about not burning your bridges will come into play except I won't burn my bridges. I will napalm them.

Sincerely and with much malice,

The One Who 99.5% of the People Want to Hear From When They Have a Problem

 

[NawtyShutterBug]

i LOVE this thread! pure genius, lorilei!!!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear mac
Pleaze send one of each
Ty

 

[okayterrific]

dear tax season,

you suck. i hate you. we're only 3 weeks in and already i feel like my ass has been kicked.

 

[janeyl]

dear dermologica,

Thank you for Intense moisture balance

dry skinned girl in hard water area

 

[Millianthe]

Dear Knee Jerk Reactionary Boss;

There may not be an "I" in team... but there is one in BULLSHIT.

Honestly, why haven't you had "Anal-Retentive" embossed under your name on your business cards?

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear Knee Jerk Reactionary Boss;

There may not be an "I" in team... but there is one in BULLSHIT.

Honestly, why haven't you had "Anal-Retentive" embossed under your name on your business cards?

It would seem you and i have the same boss

 

[newbiebabe]

Dear Knee Jerk Reactionary Boss;

There may not be an "I" in team... but there is one in BULLSHIT.

Honestly, why haven't you had "Anal-Retentive" embossed under your name on your business cards?

Dear you...

Sorry it has been a tough day... {{{hugs}}}

Just me.