Dear X

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Boss.......

If you want me to pay attention in the Monday morning meeting make it more interesting and relevant.......

Signed, Thinking about sex instead of work......

Maybe you're thinking about what he wants you to think about...

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Maybe you're thinking about what he wants you to think about...

Dear your nuts.....

Thinking about sex with him would be.........

ewwwww, really, so gross..........


Signed, no way .....

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear blah blah blah,

Why am I not surprised....once again.


Signed

At least I have a month to figure things out.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear X,

I'm sorry. I know we are a pretty casual place, and I really don't want to judge you on your clothing. But it would seem to me that wearing tight lycra pants that say "juicy" on them (along with a relatively sheer t-shirt and a dark lacy bra) is probably not the signal you really want to send. Or at least I don't think it should be....

Signed,

I enjoyed the view, but there's a time and place and this ain't it...

I had a young lady come into my place of business today to ask for an application. She was wearing a bikini top and very loose fishnet style cover-up that didn't cover anything. I don't think I'll be hiring her.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I had a young lady come into my place of business today to ask for an application. She was wearing a bikini top and very loose fishnet style cover-up that didn't cover anything. I don't think I'll be hiring her.

Because you're going to date her?

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Because you're going to date her?

No, because she couldn't pass the elbow test.

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear maintenance crew,

I guess I should give you half credit. At least you left the door open when you were done.

However, you didn't give me the one day's notice I asked for so I could get things in order and/or help out if needed.

While I do appreciate your quick response to replacing the device, even though it is loud as sin at the moment, work with me in the future if I need something else.

One of those who provide your paycheck



Dear NASA,

Woot! I got up at 1:10 this morning and like (hopefully) millions of other people around the world, waited to see if everything went according to plan. I was as calm as could be because either it worked or it didn't, there was no in between.

However, when you started receiving time-delayed telemetry from the lander as it went through atmospheric entry, then parachute deployment followed by descent, I have to admit that my heart did pick up the pace a bit. As each byte of data was received signaling success, we were seconds closer to knowing if the limited tax dollars you receive were able to get the job done and land that one ton puppy.

As we know, you were able to successfully avoid the Martian Planetary Defense systems and hit your mark with a precision both unrivaled and unheard of.

I know you have received kudos and plaudits from others more prominent than I, but please accept my own thumbs up which you can use to jam in someone's eye the next time they talk about cutting your budget.

A very happy taxpayer

P.S. I'm ready to go to Mars tomorrow if you have a rocket to get me there. Just sayin'.

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Waitress,

You are either a mind reader or highly observant. I haven't figured out which yet, but I haven't had to ask for a single thing tonight. You've anticipated every need. You rock! Big tip coming your way. I reward great service.

Signed,
Enjoying Her Dinner Litster

 

[BlackCashmere]

Dear Mister...

You truly are the most amazing man in the world...ever...

You are--- so sweet, gentle, tender, brilliant beyond words, loyal, humble, Noble, accepting, forgiving, wildly successful , thoughtful, hilarious, drop dead gorgeous, dignified, well mannered, thoughtful, altruistic, and elegant for a man...

You are the wisest man I know...

You are the best friend, the best son and best brother...

A great humanitarian...

You have the greatest depth of character and Integrity of anyone I know...

Its too bad your career is your life and that you work 24/7 ( every day of the year)...It hurts me that you are always gone and traveling the world for work...

You are a great and beautiful soul...

You are just a sucky husband ( right now)...and it has broken me down, perhaps beyond repair...

Love,

Your wife...

 

[PanamaJaxxx]

Dear Wife....

hugsssssss and keep your chin up

Signed
Anonymous

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear family of 12 in the suburban,

That suburban fits at the most 8 skinny people. You had a female driver and a ton of kids piled into it. You also had a baby on board to complete the fiasco. How do I know this? If you look closely at the picture below I think the object on the bumper pretty much sums it up.

http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/xx222/stilts34/c6314bbe.jpg

I guess you have your hands quite full because in your haste of changing your kids diaper in the back of your makeshift school bus you forgot to toss the evidence in the trash.

Hey I get it. 22 hands waving and beckoning as you actively try to convince yourself not to swerve into incoming traffic to put yourself out of your misery can be exhausting. I think leaving a doodoo pamper on your bumper is a big cry for help.

Here is what I will do for you. If you can convince your man to bag it and ignore his pleas of "Don't worry baby I will pull out in time" then I won't take pictures of your embarrassment.

Signed,

First ever post I made with doodoo pamper in it.

BTW that diaper must be stacked because that bumper is leaning pretty low to that side.

 

[Treasured]

Dear Hater,

That's some pretty funny shit!

Laughing Litster

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Laughing,

Really should be the logo for:

"Welcome to Oklahoma"

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear diamonds are a girls best friend,

Why? Why can't plastic or maybe bread be your best friend? If we d something stupid why can't we just buy your a case of glad bags or a loaf of bread to amke it up to you? Why should we have to put ourselves into debt just to show you we love you so much? I think a pair f yellow and blue make green sandwich bags dangling from a woman's earlobe could be very sexy.

Signed,

3 months salary my ass

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Mother Nature,

Lately I feel like I've been breathing water lately. Can we scale back the humidity just a little? I wasn't born a fish.

Signed,
Hot and Cranky Listster

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Dear 3mo Salary

Don't buy into the hype/machine! Forget all the sociopolitical BS about diamonds. Even without that they're sort of boring and stupidly expensive.

Signed
My Engagement Ring Cost $300 and I Think THAT Was Even a Ripoff.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear man who lives here,

"The amount of money you pulled out is almost criminal." Fucking really??????? I had to pay for my tuition b/c I did not get it applied yet. Like I wasn't going to put it back when I got reimbursed.

Dramatic much? You are more like my mother than I am. You wonder where our daughter gets her dramatic side from.......there's your answer.

You work like a fucking zombie....b/c you enjoy it. NO one makes you. Including your bosses. In fact, you got in trouble b/c you were working too much...but no....according to you...you HAVE to work that much.

Excuse me for having to pull money out to pay for something for me. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that entertaining your kids this summer has been more expensive....or that the fact that in order to feed your kids AND your ass has not been exactly cheap either.

I know it pisses you off that I'm in school. We go through this every new school year. It pissed you off on Sunday when I didn't get mad and all huffy when you told me that you work late on Mondays and have a class to teach on Wednesdays....that I would have to find someone to watch out kids.

You know how I know? You kept at it after I calmly told you that I would take care of it. You continued whining and making excuses. Also, I am fully aware that if my son does not get to play soccer, it will be "my" fault. Also....the same with my daughter trying out for the play.

I offered up a compromise....but you refused to take it for what it is. You made excuses...what part of you need to be there at 8 pm to pick the kids up, do you not understand? Telling me that you don't even know what time...or where you would have to pick them up at......is fucking shit. I just told you.


By the way, I do not need to have a college degree to know when someone's acting like a fucking moronic idiot. Just thought I'd let you know.

Madder than fuck,

me.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Damn. Selfish asshole.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear You....

He is only pissed that he can see that you are bettering yourself and getting ready to move on. Just keep doing what you are doing and piss him off even more. You got this you doing a good job and even though he offers little to no help you are showing your kids what has to be done.

Signed, preparing only my best Flip Flops for a trip

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear above,

Guys are just assholes. Even the ones who don't claim to be like myself. Keep your chin up and take care of the thigs that you can control.

Signed,

I am a guy therefore I am an asshole

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Mao Sugiyama,

Ummm wow. It is one thing to cut off your testicles. It is a whole other level to cook them up and serve them to diners for dinner. It is an even higher level for the 5 diners who he served them to.

How does that conversatin even start? It had to be a craigslist ad. There is no way in hell this guy went to 5 friends and said "Hey wanna eat my balls?" I once t-bagged a drunk friend. That is as close to my balls getting to another man's mouth and I didn't ask his permission.

Are they considered an appetizer or the main course. I will be damned if my nuts are just going to be an appetizer. If I am chopping my children off they damn well better be the main course. If they are the main course what do you serve with them?

What are sides I would serve with my testicles? So many good choices to go with my testicles. I wonder if I should serve red or white wine with y testicles.

That is exactly what this yahoo was thinking I am sure. No offense to our Japanese folks here who post, but some of y'all re pretty fucking weird.

Signed,

I will just stick with chicken because it tastes like chicken

 

[1sickbastard]

X,
Why, oh why do you continue to hang around where you are so obviously not wanted?
Go away already.

 

[littlelovedove]

Dear Boss,

You are a real ass! Next time you screw things up and then tell me 'Why don't you just relax' in that arrogant way of yours, I will punch the ever living shit out of you!!

One of many irate employees.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Damn. Selfish asshole.

yes he is

Dear You....

He is only pissed that he can see that you are bettering yourself and getting ready to move on. Just keep doing what you are doing and piss him off even more. You got this you doing a good job and even though he offers little to no help you are showing your kids what has to be done.

Signed, preparing only my best Flip Flops for a trip

Dear Flip Flop Litster,

You need to bring steel toed shoes.

Just sayin' Litster

Dear above,

Guys are just assholes. Even the ones who don't claim to be like myself. Keep your chin up and take care of the thigs that you can control.

Signed,

I am a guy therefore I am an asshole

Dear guy,

I know that all guys have forms of asshole-ness in them....just like all women have forms of bitchiness in them.

It's just a matter of how well each handles them.

Signed,

Litster that doesn't think all guys are complete and utter assholes.

 

[cowslinger64]

yes he is



Sunny....I'll be happy to set a tent up for you..we got woods, a river about 100 feet away...a pool...quiet.


And we can ride my four wheelers!!



you just gotta be nekkid.