Dear X

[sunshinegirl05]

Sunny....I'll be happy to set a tent up for you..we got woods, a river about 100 feet away...a pool...quiet.


And we can ride my four wheelers!!



you just gotta be nekkid.

Dear Slinger of Cows,

you just wanna see me naked.

But I'd be up for all of that....and if I have to be naked to get it....then okay.

Signed,

Packing lots of bug spray litster

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear You,

Keep doing what you are doing, dear. You're all the more amazing for it. (And if you need another for some shit kicking, I'm all in. Just let me know when.)

Signed,
Cheerleading Litster

 

[respeito]

dear "individual",

i can't even call you "lady" because your conduct certainly didn't reflect one this afternoon. it's too bad that your sister had to come in later to basically apologize for your behavior. apparently, she is familiar with the way you behave, but as i told her, "she tried to be a problem, but i wasn't going to let her destroy my patience."

you're going to have to come a little harder than that to get under my skin, my love. if you're not ready to play with the big girls...it's best you keep your ass on the porch.

sincerely hoping you know that what you do in life to others, will come back to you,

respeito

 

[cowslinger64]

Dear Slinger of Cows,

you just wanna see me naked.

But I'd be up for all of that....and if I have to be naked to get it....then okay.

Signed,

Packing lots of bug spray litster

Dear You'd look good naked in Buttfuck..


Even tho my offer was from the heart.. that part would be true as well...can ya blame me??


Signed... I got a can of bug spray, you just bring the boobies and stuff

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Silent Butt Deadly at Dance Class,

Seriously...we all knew it was you. All 5 times. That you would stand in front of the fan to spread the wealth is a bit...unsettling.

I think Nat and I did not sweat as much as we were dewy from the stench that is you. You left a gas cloud and well, if you do it again I am saying something out loud in front of everyone.

If you don't mind sharing it, neither do I, you goggle eyed skunk!

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear You'd look good naked in Buttfuck..


Even tho my offer was from the heart.. that part would be true as well...can ya blame me??


Signed... I got a can of bug spray, you just bring the boobies and stuff

Dear Bug Spray carrying man,

Thank you.

Signed,

Truly appreciates your friendship litster

 

[ga400us]

Dear Silent Butt Deadly at Dance Class,

Seriously...we all knew it was you. All 5 times. That you would stand in front of the fan to spread the wealth is a bit...unsettling.

I think Nat and I did not sweat as much as we were dewy from the stench that is you. You left a gas cloud and well, if you do it again I am saying something out loud in front of everyone.

If you don't mind sharing it, neither do I, you goggle eyed skunk!

Dear SBD Reporter,

That made me laugh out loud!

Regards,

Ha ha in the Hotel California

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Parents,

I love you. You are wonderful. You gave me life after all. Honestly, you're the best parents a girl could ask for.

However.

If we do not reach our destination by 6 PM CST, all my Lit friends are going to get to read about the crazy girl who caused a massive wreck on I-30 because she murdered her parents. I love you. I do. But what the fuck was I thinking when I signed on for this road trip from hell with y'all? I'm too old for this!

Mom, this is not fun! Dad, when did you lose the lead foot? I'm so taking over the wheel at the next stop. Hell. Next time I'm paying whatever the cost is and flying.

Signed,
On The Verge of Insanity Litster

 

[perkyT]

Dear Parents,

I love you. You are wonderful. You gave me life after all. Honestly, you're the best parent a girl could ask for.

However.

If we do not reach our destination by 6 PM CST, all my Lit friends are going to get to read about the crazy girl who caused a massive wreck on I-30 because she murdered her parents. I love you. I do. But what the fuck was I thinking when I signed on for this road trip from hell with y'all? I'm too old for this!

Mom, this is not fun! Dad, when did you lose the lead foot? I'm so taking over the wheel at the next stop. Hell. Next time I'm paying whatever the cost is and flying.

Signed,
On The Verge of Insanity Litster

Dear On The Verge,

This cracks me up!! I went through the same thing earlier this year. I celebrated reaching the destination by getting drunk at the hotel bar...without M&D!!

Good luck, girl!!

Wouldn't Trade Places With You Litster

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear On The Verge,

This cracks me up!! I went through the same thing earlier this year. I celebrated reaching the destination by getting drunk at the hotel bar...without M&D!!

Good luck, girl!!

Wouldn't Trade Places With You Litster

Dear Wouldn't Trade Places,

I don't blame you. I wouldn't trade places with me either. I have plans involving alcohol this weekend on my father's credit card. Thanks for the sympathy though!!

Signed,
The Thought of a Drink Sustains Me

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Barkley,

Your gas could peel paint. The fact that you wait until we are in the car makes it even worse. I think you do it on purpose. This way I have to suffer from either your ass stink or the sweltering heat. You know it is fucking hot out when you would rather deal with watery eyes and breathing out of your mouth instead of just rollin down the window.

I didn't know dogs could smirk until I saw you looking at me just waiting with anticipation. Once it hit my nostrils I think yuo actually laughed. I swear I think you have my grandfather's soul in you. I would almost bet the house on it.

Signed,

May need a gas mask before the Apocolypse

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Dear Barkley,

Your gas could peel paint. The fact that you wait until we are in the car makes it even worse. I think you do it on purpose. This way I have to suffer from either your ass stink or the sweltering heat. You know it is fucking hot out when you would rather deal with watery eyes and breathing out of your mouth instead of just rollin down the window.

I didn't know dogs could smirk until I saw you looking at me just waiting with anticipation. Once it hit my nostrils I think yuo actually laughed. I swear I think you have my grandfather's soul in you. I would almost bet the house on it.

Signed,

May need a gas mask before the Apocolypse

LOL!!!!! Post of the day! I'm rolling!!!!Lmao!!!

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Jedi Wannabes,

I was shocked (for about 2 seconds) that there is an adult Star Wars light saber training class. I understand that the movies were pretty good. I also get that there are adults who dress up like the characters and parade around dowtown San Diego in hopes that one Princess Leia will help him use the force properly and lose thwir virginity.

Darth Vader also makes an appearance in this class as well. I am sure the excitement reaches its apex when he enters the room. I am sure it is an old man with emphysema so they can cut down on costs for the device that causes the heavy breathing.

The goal of this class is to re-enact the 5 minute, 90 move fight scene in The Empire Strikes Back. I have never been so passionate about a movie I have tried to re-enact it. My favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption and i cannot imagine heading to the store in a prison suit.

Go forth young skywaler wannabes, I am proud of you for stepping out of your basements and attempting to acclomate yourself into our world. I look forward to seeing you at the next time George Lucas wants more money and makes Star Wars 4D.

Signed,

May you dodge other mens light sabers at you nightly meetings

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Dear X,

It never fails, when I dream of you- I get that message, inbox or email and yesterday was surprisingly a lot, I wanna tell you that you still make me melt and pine for you,*sigh* , I know in your own way you are reaching out to me, hope you are not hurting too much, you don't deserve to get hurt - I would have made you so happy but fate interferred, maybe one day we'll get a second chance

Your endless love

 

[JennyNo1]

Dear X,
Really? You think you're man enought to train all of THIS, Mr. Dom Sir? Better men than you have died trying. Of course, they had big smiles and a stiff rod when they did.
Signed,
Not in a Million Years

 

[Edensgarden]

Dear Idiot on the Jet Ski,

You stand so tall as you ride around.
You leap large waves with a single bound.

Yet you can't read the sign SLOW NO WAKE,
Each time you plow through it's ground you take.

If you keep it up, I won't let you pass.
I will take my jet and ski it up your ass.

WAKE UP ASSHOLE!

Signed,

Tired of Dealing with your ASS!

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear Alcohol,

I get it. I come from a family of alcoholics. And you know I deny you a place in my life most of the time. I have zero interest in being a drunk like my dad or both my brothers or a lush like my little sis.... but why must you be so appealling to my body? A drink or two is relaxing, but after that - it's wa-aaay too nice. Dammit!

me.

 

[njoyndesire]

Dear X...

I don't expect much... but i do expect manners... and not answering people's calls or texts is rude... if you are busy just say so... we are busy parents... workers... i get that you had the kids... but would it kill you to take 15 seconds and send a text or 2 minutes and call to say hey?

I know i'm not perfect ... but I deserve your respect.

That's all...



Joy

 

[Noor]

Dear former wildlife X,

Why the hell did you choose to end your life INSIDE my dryer?

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Bed,

Last night was probably the best seven hours we've ever spent together.

Signed,
Well-Rested Litster

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Medical Community,

Quit sending me hither and yon and will one of you just PLEASE end this mental anguish by telling me what in the world is doing all this to me.

So tired of all this.

 

[perkyT]

Dear Bed,

Last night was probably the best seven hours we've ever spent together.

Signed,
Well-Rested Litster

Dear Well-Rested,

Glad to see you survived the road trip without casualties. Copious amounts of alcohol at the end of the trip, I hope.

Gearing up for another trip with the 'rents come fall litster

 

[roughenedhands]

Dear love,
I'm still interested. When you want a real man, contact me, you boobilicious beauty.
Your future daddy

 

[Treasured]

Dear Tom,

I was relieved the zoo keeper didn't keep you yesterday.

worried for your safety Litster

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Dear X,
This is the reason why I dont like attachments - I think I know what to do from on here .

Sad Realization