Dear X

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Friend,

I don't know if you know how much it meant to me what you did. If I hadn't been out in public and in front of my daughter, I probably would have cried. I hate that it came down to that.....but thank you for being there for me.

The sun will come up and shine and stay out soon. I have faith. I have to.

I love you more than you will know...well maybe you do...but I hope that I can be there for you when you need me to be.

Love,

me.

 

[SkyMoonAbove]

Dear Furry Little Angel,

I love when you come to visit. We have so much fun playing games and going for walks. My only problems are...

1. I'm not as young as I used to be so, try to calm down when you come to see me. I know it's hard but, please try?

2. Although I love the occasional doggie kiss, must you slobber all over my face? I love you already, no need to show me THAT much love.

3. I understand that, as a male doggie, you still have your balls. I understand those doggie urges you may get but, why in the heavens did you suddenly decide to try and hump my leg?? If you were that much in the mood, I would have brought my neighbors' bitch over for you to get your rocks off.

All in all, I still love you dearly and you always make me smile. It just sucks that you'll be 13 this November and time is NOT being kind to you.

Missing You Already,
Loving Mom-mom.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear Boss,

You claim 60% of the managers in our company need to be replaced because they are ineffective. Makes one wonder how that came to be, doesn't it?

Just thinking to myself.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Robert and Amanda Larrivee,

So you were not trying to steal the TV out of the bathroom at the sports bar? So a person who works at the bar along with a manager spot you two trying to rip a flat screen down off the bathroom wall, lock you two inside the bathroom and call the cops.

During that lock-up time you two concoct a plan to try and make up a reason as to why the bathroom was off of the wall. So what do you two geniuses come up with? You claim to the police that you two were having sex, rough sex in the bathroom. So rough that the TV was ripped out of the wall.

Nevermind that you are brother and sister, not married and that incest is illegal and punishable by up to 20 years, I am just trying to remember when I had sex so rough that ANYTHING was knocked off of ANYTHING during the copulation.

I thought the whole point of public sex was to be discreet and to be able to get away with it. That is what makes public sex hot. That there could be people all around you and they have no clue the two of you are fucking. Not for you two though, apparently your brother was hammering you so hard, you felt the need to grab the Vizio and rip it out of the wall. I am guessing that is going to draw some attention to the two of you. I am imagining that while he was fucking you, you didn't breakout a screw driver and some ther tools to quietly rip the tv off the wall.

So much for being discreet. I have knocked an alarm cock off the table one time. I have even knocked a pillow or two off the bed, but more because they were in the way than anything sexually crazy going on. I have never been fucking someone and thought to myself I feel like ripping down a tv and turing over a dresser while doing it. Usually I am just doing my best not to cum before she does.

I am just trying to figure out which one of you came up with the "Hey let's just say we were fucking each other" scenario. I am sure they wil believe that. No no it is the police they will never figure out we are brother and sister. Not only have you embarassed yourself by getting busted for tring to blatantly steal a TV from a sports bar, but you have also made your parents proud by telling the world you are family fuckers. Well if your family isn't proud, I guarantee you there are 50 threads here that view you as heroes. I am sure there will be a "Have you fucked your family while stealing something thread" any day now.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Robert and Amanda Larrivee,

So you were not trying to steal the TV out of the bathroom at the sports bar? So a person who works at the bar along with a manager spot you two trying to rip a flat screen down off the bathroom wall, lock you two inside the bathroom and call the cops.

During that lock-up time you two concoct a plan to try and make up a reason as to why the bathroom was off of the wall. So what do you two geniuses come up with? You claim to the police that you two were having sex, rough sex in the bathroom. So rough that the TV was ripped out of the wall.

Nevermind that you are brother and sister, not married and that incest is illegal and punishable by up to 20 years, I am just trying to remember when I had sex so rough that ANYTHING was knocked off of ANYTHING during the copulation.

I thought the whole point of public sex was to be discreet and to be able to get away with it. That is what makes public sex hot. That there could be people all around you and they have no clue the two of you are fucking. Not for you two though, apparently your brother was hammering you so hard, you felt the need to grab the Vizio and rip it out of the wall. I am guessing that is going to draw some attention to the two of you. I am imagining that while he was fucking you, you didn't breakout a screw driver and some ther tools to quietly rip the tv off the wall.

So much for being discreet. I have knocked an alarm cock off the table one time. I have even knocked a pillow or two off the bed, but more because they were in the way than anything sexually crazy going on. I have never been fucking someone and thought to myself I feel like ripping down a tv and turing over a dresser while doing it. Usually I am just doing my best not to cum before she does.

I am just trying to figure out which one of you came up with the "Hey let's just say we were fucking each other" scenario. I am sure they wil believe that. No no it is the police they will never figure out we are brother and sister. Not only have you embarassed yourself by getting busted for tring to blatantly steal a TV from a sports bar, but you have also made your parents proud by telling the world you are family fuckers. Well if your family isn't proud, I guarantee you there are 50 threads here that view you as heroes. I am sure there will be a "Have you fucked your family while stealing something thread" any day now.

Dear Buzzkill,

DAMN, I was all ready to start the "Have you Stolen a TV while your Brother Fucked You in a Sports Bar Bathroom" thread.

Signed,

Off to consider binders of women again...

 

[Scrubber]

Dear Tax Return

Do yourself, why don't you.

Unkind regards.

Scrubber.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Buzzkill,

DAMN, I was all ready to start the "Have you Stolen a TV while your Brother Fucked You in a Sports Bar Bathroom" thread.

Signed,

Off to consider binders of women again...

Dear Innovative Free Thinker,

The thread still hasn't been started. Go ahead and do your thang.

Signed,

First time I have ever typed the word thang out before.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Innovative Free Thinker,

The thread still hasn't been started. Go ahead and do your thang.

Signed,

First time I have ever typed the word thang out before.

Dear Thangmaker

No...(huge dramatic sigh), you've killed the joy.

Signed,

Slinking away...

 

[Scentofawoman]

Dear X ( who is Daniel Craig)

Oh my god the sky is falling! Rescue me please! You will be well rewarded.


Henny penny (me)

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Microsoft Excel,

When I copy the number 799422820746 from a cell, I do not want you to reformat that to 7.99422820746E+11. It's not a math thing, it's a text thing.

Thanks,
Me.

 

[85Ironman]

Dear X ( who is Daniel Craig)

Oh my god the sky is falling! Rescue me please! You will be well rewarded.


Henny penny (me)

Dear SofW

Thank you for the LOL.

 

[KierstH12]

.......................

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear BMW,

Considering how much one of your vehicles cost and all the effort you have put into making those vehicles, how could you possibly forget to include turn signals? It's not like adding turn signals would require a complete rework of your body design, they're just a small light which blinks on and off to let the people behind your vehicle know which way the vehicle will be turning or when changing lanes.

I can't imagine adding turn signals to future models would cost more than $20 or $30 and considering who buys your vehicles, I can't see them worrying over such an insignificant amount.

Just something to think about.

Wondering why BMWs don't have turn signals

 

[GiggLeGasm]

lol.. silly silly

the bmw has turn signals..
they just don't come with manuals so people don't know where to find them!

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Detroit Tigers.

You rock! Now, go get that series!!!

Signed,

Twenty eight years...kind of too long if you ask me.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Detroit Tigers.

You rock! Now, go get that series!!!

Signed,

Twenty eight years...kind of too long if you ask me.

YEAH!!!!! What he said.

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Dear company I applied at:

Thank you for your automatically generated rejection letter. Upon reading the rejection I was confused by the opening statement of "We have reviewed your information and decided to pursue other candidates who more closely match the necessary criteria for this position..."

After digesting that portion of the letter I quickly realised that this wasn't a matter of rejection for lacking the necessary skills, but this was a case of discrimination.

I know that it is very difficult to prove that I was discriminated against, however the proof is in the following facts.

1. I have worked for this company previously, and I resigned under good terms. I was not laid off, I was not fired, and I gave proper notice.
2. The same position I applied for is exactly the SAME position I held previously.
3. No where in your company policy does it state that a previous employee can't be re-hired.

I realise I do have recourse that I could follow, and if I do follow through it will stun your HR division. I realise the job market sucks, but learn to follow the law and if you're going to reject me you may want to make factual statements instead of glossing over my resume and application and spinning some sort of foolish drivel that I lack the criteria

Annoyed discriminated against applicant.

~~

Dear State Dept I interviewed with

I really hope that you were able to see my qualities as being a fit within the department. Words can't begin to express how much I need this job. This is not a job I would take for granted. It's a job I would stay with long term. It's been a little over a week and I left the interview confident that the job is mine...I'm simply waiting to hear "You're hired!".

Anxiously waiting to reintegrate into the workforce!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Bank ---

Um we both operate on EST why have you not updated my account this morning? I want to pull my kid out of school today and take her shopping for her birthday. It's not much, but it's enough to have a pleasant day out with her and she deserves it. So hurry up and post my $$.

Thanks,

Me the lady that worked her budget right so she could surprise daughter with this Mom/Me day.

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear X

you looked amazing tonight.

Sincerely,

Me.

 

[Cratchit]

Dear X,


what a delightful little mind fuck i allow you to do, and probably will continue to do. you are my kryptonite

signed,

amused, confused, and so much more

 

[SkyMoonAbove]

non Lit related......

Dear Fucking Asshole,

Thanks alot, fuckwad! You ruined it for everyone!!! You just HAD to say something, didn't you???? Well, I thank you for fucking it up for everyone else to enjoy!!! When people ask me what happened, BELIEVE ME, I will say who fucked things up!!!

Goddamned motherfucker!!!!!!!!!

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear X

Someday never comes.

Sincerely,

me.

 

[sereneone4u]

Dear X,

Come and find me.

I need you so.



Your princess, but so much more

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Person on TV right now,

Your halting, broken sentence, aggravating way of talking makes me wonder how your woman can stand living with you.

"well (pause) sweetheart, uhn...er....(pause) would you like me to (pause) Uhm (pause) lick your, er (pause) pussy?*

Just get on with it you halting smirk faced jackwrap.

 

[zTraveler]