pfflyerhot
Pussyfooting around...
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2012
- Posts
- 19,425
My heart goes out to you, man. I'm sorry for your loss... and the loss to your community. Live strong, Oklahoma!
Dear X
- Thread starter Lorilei
- Start date
- Status
My heart goes out to you, man. I'm sorry for your loss... and the loss to your community. Live strong, Oklahoma!
availableslave2u
naturally moist
- Joined
- May 25, 2007
- Posts
- 58,013
dear former night owl friend,
glad you've found someone to share your roost with. too bad you've been such a jag off about it all. i once asked you why you don't have any friends. you hemmed and hawed. now i know.
fuck off, eh
glad you've found someone to share your roost with. too bad you've been such a jag off about it all. i once asked you why you don't have any friends. you hemmed and hawed. now i know.
fuck off, eh
lexieredefined
Stargazing
- Joined
- May 1, 2012
- Posts
- 5,622
Dear Taylor Swift,
I don't know about you, but I haven't felt 22 in a long time.
That is all.
Signed,
Getting Tired of That Song Litster
I don't know about you, but I haven't felt 22 in a long time.
That is all.
Signed,
Getting Tired of That Song Litster
papadoc19
Good at keeping secrets..
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2008
- Posts
- 148,732
Dear Getting Tired of That Song Lister,
But it is so catchy.
Signed,
Musically Questionable Litster.
cowslinger64
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 15, 2010
- Posts
- 44,486
Dear X
Thanks for showing me what a flake you are early on, saving me much wasted time and effort. I only have so much patience, and you've exhausted mine.
Sigh
Thanks for showing me what a flake you are early on, saving me much wasted time and effort. I only have so much patience, and you've exhausted mine.
Sigh
blulilacgrl
Viva la Tarte!
- Joined
- May 22, 2012
- Posts
- 10,423
Dear Sigh,
I would offer you some of my patience but I don't think I had any to begin with. Good luck!
Instant gratification kinda gal.
Scentofawoman
Shenanigans
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2012
- Posts
- 18,353
Dear Sigh,
I would offer you some of my patience but I don't think I had any to begin with. Good luck!
Instant gratification kinda gal.
Dear instant gratification..,
Oh I'm going to burn CS in saying that I'm thinking he's your type of man. Lol!
Running before I'm spanked lister
someoneyouknow
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Posts
- 28,274
Dear dog owners of New York (and Boston and D.C. and Atlanta and Houston and so on),
Now that summer has arrived, would you kindly remember that when you take your dog(s) out for a walk you need to bring along plenty of water for them. Not just to drink but to wet them down so they stay relatively cool.
I have seen too many dogs in New York looking like they were on their last legs, practically being drug on their leash because their owner was too busy with their head buried in a phone or tablet.
Pay attention to your dog!
Your friendly neighborhood reminder
Now that summer has arrived, would you kindly remember that when you take your dog(s) out for a walk you need to bring along plenty of water for them. Not just to drink but to wet them down so they stay relatively cool.
I have seen too many dogs in New York looking like they were on their last legs, practically being drug on their leash because their owner was too busy with their head buried in a phone or tablet.
Pay attention to your dog!
Your friendly neighborhood reminder
JuicyAngel
Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2011
- Posts
- 67
Dear Gym Trainer/ Crush,
I'm sorry I let you leave without even asking for your number... Though I'm not sure if that's what you wanted, but you looked pretty disappointed when we parted last night?
I may have acted like a diva, but i was trilling inside when you waited four hours just to 'help prep me' for my running event.
Your fingers ran really slowly down my calves when helping me with the kinesiology tapes. I wished I had longer legs so you wouldn't stop.. haha.
I should've asked you to watch the ballet recital tonight with me as thanks.
The sad loneliness I felt when I was alone surrounded by thousands of marathon runners. Its scary how much I wanted you to be there with me. And how I'm searching for more running events just so we can talk more.
Dear BF,
I got tics to watch the recital with you. But right now, I wish it was him.
I'm sorry I let you leave without even asking for your number... Though I'm not sure if that's what you wanted, but you looked pretty disappointed when we parted last night?
I may have acted like a diva, but i was trilling inside when you waited four hours just to 'help prep me' for my running event.
Your fingers ran really slowly down my calves when helping me with the kinesiology tapes. I wished I had longer legs so you wouldn't stop.. haha.
I should've asked you to watch the ballet recital tonight with me as thanks.
The sad loneliness I felt when I was alone surrounded by thousands of marathon runners. Its scary how much I wanted you to be there with me. And how I'm searching for more running events just so we can talk more.
Dear BF,
I got tics to watch the recital with you. But right now, I wish it was him.
lacandy
Laying in the sun
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2011
- Posts
- 31,404
Dear person who invented the Toothfairy,
Fuck off!
WHY would you decide that it's a good idea to sneak into a child's bedroom and slip your hand under their pillow and try to find a teeny tiny tooth without waking them? As the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing with them in another room isn't stressful enough - now I have to actually pull this shit off...
Signed,
The mom who forgot to be Toothfairy last night and got caught this morning.
Fuck off!
WHY would you decide that it's a good idea to sneak into a child's bedroom and slip your hand under their pillow and try to find a teeny tiny tooth without waking them? As the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing with them in another room isn't stressful enough - now I have to actually pull this shit off...
Signed,
The mom who forgot to be Toothfairy last night and got caught this morning.
sunshinegirl05
Perfectly Imperfect
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 65,221
Dear S,
Years ago we met. You were and still are big into guitars. You taught me the beauty of guitars. Now when I listen to music, I appreciate what I hear.
Thank you!!!!
Me
Years ago we met. You were and still are big into guitars. You taught me the beauty of guitars. Now when I listen to music, I appreciate what I hear.
Thank you!!!!
Me
sunshinegirl05
Perfectly Imperfect
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 65,221
Dear Getting Tired of That Song Litster,
I'm plain ol' getting tired of Taylor Swift.
Signed,
Litster who's singing, "We're never ever ever, getting back together"
T
Twlightdreamer
Guest
Dear Parent Not Watching Their Child,
I understand shopping is the closest thing you probably have to a break from homelife... But watch your goddamn kids!! This is the second night in three days I have fuckin' saved your six year old. She needs to be supervised- not allowed to run through a store. Last night, she wandered out of the store and walked a mile to Target on her own... Tonight, she decided to rip open the packages of sicssors and run with them- then she tried to pocket handfuls of candy....
By the way, I saw her wandering the sidewalk alone again and this time, yall were in a different store.
What will it take for you to learn to watch after your child and other children properly? I understand they'll wander off or you get distracted... but seriously- you're not even trying.
-Not a Babysitter
I understand shopping is the closest thing you probably have to a break from homelife... But watch your goddamn kids!! This is the second night in three days I have fuckin' saved your six year old. She needs to be supervised- not allowed to run through a store. Last night, she wandered out of the store and walked a mile to Target on her own... Tonight, she decided to rip open the packages of sicssors and run with them- then she tried to pocket handfuls of candy....
By the way, I saw her wandering the sidewalk alone again and this time, yall were in a different store.
What will it take for you to learn to watch after your child and other children properly? I understand they'll wander off or you get distracted... but seriously- you're not even trying.
-Not a Babysitter
someoneyouknow
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Posts
- 28,274
Dear neighbor,
I think I can speak for everyone in our area when I say thank you for letting us know of your relationship issues. At 12:30 in the morning.
Nothing gives one one the warm fuzzies like being awoken from a good sleep by the shrieking of a female voice echoing off the buildings as you tee off on your husband/fiance/boyfriend/studmuffin/whatever at that early hour of the morning (it was after midnight so technically it is morning).
Please be sure to keep us updated at a future date as I am positive we are all wondering if you'll be taking his daughter home.
Signed,
Already not getting enough sleep
I think I can speak for everyone in our area when I say thank you for letting us know of your relationship issues. At 12:30 in the morning.
Nothing gives one one the warm fuzzies like being awoken from a good sleep by the shrieking of a female voice echoing off the buildings as you tee off on your husband/fiance/boyfriend/studmuffin/whatever at that early hour of the morning (it was after midnight so technically it is morning).
Please be sure to keep us updated at a future date as I am positive we are all wondering if you'll be taking his daughter home.
Signed,
Already not getting enough sleep
someoneyouknow
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Posts
- 28,274
This is a 2-fer
Dear end users,
You can't possibly know how much fun it is having to claw through the five pounds of Chinese-made plastic on your desks, or the tubes of various lotions and hand sanitizers, or the various bottles, cups, mugs and other drinking devices with varying levels of clear and colored liquids, or the mountain ranges of picture frames showing your family, vacation or other photos, not to mention all the sundry knick knacks of places you've been to when we're trying to install new equipment.
The herds of dust bunnies are one thing. They naturally migrate to the deepest, most inaccessible recesses. But having to gingerly navigate through the piles of cruft you have strewn about, covering in many cases 2/3 of your entire desk area, while we're trying to do our job as quickly as possible does not make for an enjoyable experience.
If what we see is any indication of what your homes are like, perhaps we should call in Hoarders to see if they can cull the piles.
Trying to get things done
Dear end user (singular),
Could you be any more of a whiner? For 10 minutes you went on and on about how things were different after you got your new equipment, about how you had to rearrange things, how you couldn't figure out this or that.
Jesus christ, you're an adult. A male adult. You were worse than the women and considering they out number your genetic construct by 5-1, I have been around all of them to know who whines and who doesn't.
Just give the perfunctory thanks and at least wait until I'm out of earshot to start your whining. I know I do when I tell the folks I work with how much of a whiner you are.
Keeping their mouth shut until out of earshot
Dear end users,
You can't possibly know how much fun it is having to claw through the five pounds of Chinese-made plastic on your desks, or the tubes of various lotions and hand sanitizers, or the various bottles, cups, mugs and other drinking devices with varying levels of clear and colored liquids, or the mountain ranges of picture frames showing your family, vacation or other photos, not to mention all the sundry knick knacks of places you've been to when we're trying to install new equipment.
The herds of dust bunnies are one thing. They naturally migrate to the deepest, most inaccessible recesses. But having to gingerly navigate through the piles of cruft you have strewn about, covering in many cases 2/3 of your entire desk area, while we're trying to do our job as quickly as possible does not make for an enjoyable experience.
If what we see is any indication of what your homes are like, perhaps we should call in Hoarders to see if they can cull the piles.
Trying to get things done
Dear end user (singular),
Could you be any more of a whiner? For 10 minutes you went on and on about how things were different after you got your new equipment, about how you had to rearrange things, how you couldn't figure out this or that.
Jesus christ, you're an adult. A male adult. You were worse than the women and considering they out number your genetic construct by 5-1, I have been around all of them to know who whines and who doesn't.
Just give the perfunctory thanks and at least wait until I'm out of earshot to start your whining. I know I do when I tell the folks I work with how much of a whiner you are.
Keeping their mouth shut until out of earshot
aexoticgrl
Instigator of Naughty..
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2012
- Posts
- 3,812
Dear X,
That's a terribly silly reason to not want to do that. You're seriously missing out. But luckily there are other takers, so your loss and my gain.
Yes I do think about it constantly. It just doesn't involve you.
That's a terribly silly reason to not want to do that. You're seriously missing out. But luckily there are other takers, so your loss and my gain.
Yes I do think about it constantly. It just doesn't involve you.
sunshinegirl05
Perfectly Imperfect
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 65,221
Dear Friend,
You're quickly getting on my nerves. I'm trying to be patient with you. I really am. I love you dearly....but I am feeling like you no longer have a need for our friendship.
I realize that life gets busy and crazy. But I'm beginning to wonder if you befriended me b/c you knew noone else.....and now that you've moved up in the world...........
That's fine...I suppose. But don't say..."I'll call you, I promise...." and not follow through. You want to get together all of the time...but amazingly....it hasn't happened yet.
You also are constantly dogging the town I live in...which you lived in also...until you moved to a posher place. Great!!! I am happy for you...truly I am. BUT don't complain to me about moving back to !@@@.....and then in the next breath totally dog on it...b/c it's trashy and the schools are sucky. Um....last time I checked, all of the schools are supposed to follow the same curriculum. We are in the process of updating all of the buildings and classrooms. So...I don't think that "your school" will be any better than ours once it's all said and done.
Also, staying where you're at b/c your stepson has made friends is stupid. I say it's stupid b/c you go to church here in town, your husband works in town, he wants to move back here, and your friends live here. You say that you have no friends that live over there.
Common sense says....move to where your husband..who is the soul bread winner for your family works...he wants to be back here. Your stepson is friendly and outgoing enough to make friends. I've seen him. He loves to talk to people. It doesn't matter who it is. He can strike up a conversation.
You complain that noone comes and visits you...well...you're 30+ minutes away from everyone. You come into town.....but you come to see noone. So how are we supposed to get together when you're in town????
I just miss you! I will continue to try to get together and hang out with you...but sooner or later, I will stop trying.
Signed,
Your friend
You're quickly getting on my nerves. I'm trying to be patient with you. I really am. I love you dearly....but I am feeling like you no longer have a need for our friendship.
I realize that life gets busy and crazy. But I'm beginning to wonder if you befriended me b/c you knew noone else.....and now that you've moved up in the world...........
That's fine...I suppose. But don't say..."I'll call you, I promise...." and not follow through. You want to get together all of the time...but amazingly....it hasn't happened yet.
You also are constantly dogging the town I live in...which you lived in also...until you moved to a posher place. Great!!! I am happy for you...truly I am. BUT don't complain to me about moving back to !@@@.....and then in the next breath totally dog on it...b/c it's trashy and the schools are sucky. Um....last time I checked, all of the schools are supposed to follow the same curriculum. We are in the process of updating all of the buildings and classrooms. So...I don't think that "your school" will be any better than ours once it's all said and done.
Also, staying where you're at b/c your stepson has made friends is stupid. I say it's stupid b/c you go to church here in town, your husband works in town, he wants to move back here, and your friends live here. You say that you have no friends that live over there.
Common sense says....move to where your husband..who is the soul bread winner for your family works...he wants to be back here. Your stepson is friendly and outgoing enough to make friends. I've seen him. He loves to talk to people. It doesn't matter who it is. He can strike up a conversation.
You complain that noone comes and visits you...well...you're 30+ minutes away from everyone. You come into town.....but you come to see noone. So how are we supposed to get together when you're in town????
I just miss you! I will continue to try to get together and hang out with you...but sooner or later, I will stop trying.
Signed,
Your friend
Dear pup1&pup2,
I am ever so grateful for you two. I love you both dearly. What I do not love is the two of you jumping on me & barking in my face when I am sleeping oh so soundly. Yes, alert me to danger...do not scare the mess outta me & cause a cardiac episode.
By the way, they are called racoons. They are a major population here & love to muck about in the garbage cans at night. Get used to them.
I know you two are still getting used to our new surroundings...unfamiliar butts to sniff, unknown territory to mark, strange smelling people to inspect, things that go bump in the night...but if the nightly alert continues the dreaded kennels will be brought out.
Your human that is now fully awake
I am ever so grateful for you two. I love you both dearly. What I do not love is the two of you jumping on me & barking in my face when I am sleeping oh so soundly. Yes, alert me to danger...do not scare the mess outta me & cause a cardiac episode.
By the way, they are called racoons. They are a major population here & love to muck about in the garbage cans at night. Get used to them.
I know you two are still getting used to our new surroundings...unfamiliar butts to sniff, unknown territory to mark, strange smelling people to inspect, things that go bump in the night...but if the nightly alert continues the dreaded kennels will be brought out.
Your human that is now fully awake
B
BradBigBrain
Guest
Dear Sleep,
Thank you.
~ Me
Dear Pup2,
You are a joy and a bundle of love. Love you.
~ Me
Dear Pup1,
You have become the Dog-Ma. You make sure everyone is safe and sound and taken care of. Love you.
~Me
Dear Coffee,
Get over here and put your sexiness into my mouth.
~Me
Thank you.
~ Me
Dear Pup2,
You are a joy and a bundle of love. Love you.
~ Me
Dear Pup1,
You have become the Dog-Ma. You make sure everyone is safe and sound and taken care of. Love you.
~Me
Dear Coffee,
Get over here and put your sexiness into my mouth.
~Me
B
BradBigBrain
Guest
Dear 30-ish Dude,
A white Honda Accord is not a sports car. So riding on the bumper of my truck at 80MPH on I75 is not a good idea. Getting off the internet at breakneck speed just to come to a screeching halt inches away from a van full of a mom and her kids is not that great of an idea either.
Just to make sure you were as big a douche as you were driving like, I looked over to check you out. I wasn't surprised at your overall appearance, that's not what made me do a double take.
What made me gawk at you twice...the first time I thought I was mistaken...was that you unabashedly, unashamedly, almost brazenly picked a big booger out of your nose and immediately ate it. You didn't look around to see if anyone was watching you surreptitiously, you just went for it. The first time I didn't think I saw what I saw, then you did it again.
A white Honda Accord is not a sports car. So riding on the bumper of my truck at 80MPH on I75 is not a good idea. Getting off the internet at breakneck speed just to come to a screeching halt inches away from a van full of a mom and her kids is not that great of an idea either.
Just to make sure you were as big a douche as you were driving like, I looked over to check you out. I wasn't surprised at your overall appearance, that's not what made me do a double take.
What made me gawk at you twice...the first time I thought I was mistaken...was that you unabashedly, unashamedly, almost brazenly picked a big booger out of your nose and immediately ate it. You didn't look around to see if anyone was watching you surreptitiously, you just went for it. The first time I didn't think I saw what I saw, then you did it again.
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