Dear X

[BradBigBrain]

Dear 30-ish Dude,

A white Honda Accord is not a sports car. So riding on the bumper of my truck at 80MPH on I75 is not a good idea. Getting off the internet at breakneck speed just to come to a screeching halt inches away from a van full of a mom and her kids is not that great of an idea either.

Just to make sure you were as big a douche as you were driving like, I looked over to check you out. I wasn't surprised at your overall appearance, that's not what made me do a double take.

What made me gawk at you twice...the first time I thought I was mistaken...was that you unabashedly, unashamedly, almost brazenly picked a big booger out of your nose and immediately ate it. You didn't look around to see if anyone was watching you surreptitiously, you just went for it. The first time I didn't think I saw what I saw, then you did it again.

 

[kara1234]

Dear 30-ish Dude,

A white Honda Accord is not a sports car. So riding on the bumper of my truck at 80MPH on I75 is not a good idea. Getting off the internet at breakneck speed just to come to a screeching halt inches away from a van full of a mom and her kids is not that great of an idea either.

Just to make sure you were as big a douche as you were driving like, I looked over to check you out. I wasn't surprised at your overall appearance, that's not what made me do a double take.

What made me gawk at you twice...the first time I thought I was mistaken...was that you unabashedly, unashamedly, almost brazenly picked a big booger out of your nose and immediately ate it. You didn't look around to see if anyone was watching you surreptitiously, you just went for it. The first time I didn't think I saw what I saw, then you did it again.

Dear

Eww!

Grossed out now, too.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Dear person who invented the Toothfairy,

Fuck off!

WHY would you decide that it's a good idea to sneak into a child's bedroom and slip your hand under their pillow and try to find a teeny tiny tooth without waking them? As the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing with them in another room isn't stressful enough - now I have to actually pull this shit off...

Signed,

The mom who forgot to be Toothfairy last night and got caught this morning.

Dear forgetful mom,

Next time put the money on the table. Say the Tooth Fairy couldn't get through all the mess in his/her room. Or that she was in a rush. Or that she didn't want to wake him/her.

Been there, done that. [laughs] I also convince the kids to put their teeth in a baggie under their pillow or on the nightstand. I told them that the Tooth Fairy had a lot of kids to get to and that she would appreciate it if they could make it easier on her.

Good Luck!

*Speaking of the Tooth Fairy. I am trying to get in touch with her cousin the Cleaning Fairy. If anyone has her number I would appreciate it.

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Dear Bacon Bandit,
2 months, eh?

Me.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Sis in law,

why must you like EVERY status and picture I post?

One of these days, I'm going to post something completely ridiculous and outlandish.......but you'll probably like that too, wouldn't you!

Signed,

Might have to start blocking you from my status updates again.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear alzheimer's,
i hate you. i totally, totally hate you. why do you have to steal my mother away from me? i lose more and more of her every day and it gets tougher and tougher. why don't you pick on the yucky people of the world? rapists, pedophiles, drew peterson???
signed,
tired daughter

 

[MrEd63]

dear alzheimer's,
i hate you. i totally, totally hate you. why do you have to steal my mother away from me? i lose more and more of her every day and it gets tougher and tougher. why don't you pick on the yucky people of the world? rapists, pedophiles, drew peterson???
signed,
tired daughter

I agree with every word

(((((((((((((((rose:))))))))))))))))

 

[availableslave2u]

I agree with every word

(((((((((((((((rose:))))))))))))))))

thank you

 

[MrEd63]

thank you

I'm there myself

 

[availableslave2u]

I'm there myself

if you ever need to talk, message me. i know sometimes it helps to vent.

 

[MrEd63]

if you ever need to talk, message me. i know sometimes it helps to vent.

Thank you - very much appreciated

 

[Jett_73]

Dear 'Mr Fashion',

Tartan meggings are not a good look in anyone's fashion play book.

Jus' sayin'.

Now visually-impaired Litster

 

[Seasidegal]

Patrick-
It was every bit as good as you remember. Come back. Soon.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Telemarketers,

I know that you are only trying to make a living. Like as not, you are calling from an organization that I support. But it's really rude when I pick up the phone and say "hello" and there is this long silence while the machine recognizes that I'm a human, and connects you - the live person - at the other end of the line. This is the equivelent of ringing someones doorbell, and when they open the door just walking in without saying anything. It's just rude. And it doesn't put me in a good mood. In fact, it pisses me off. That's probably why I'm not giving as much. It's not that the economy's down. It's that I'm pissed off before you get past hello. Seems to me the very little that you save in worker time, is more than lost by the fact that you piss me off right at the beginning.

Signed,

Just hung up on another one.

 

[lacandy]

Dear Bad Driver in the Parking lot -

The lines for the parking spaces are painted that way for a reason...it means that you are supposed to be going in that direction!

Signed,

Annoyed Driver in the Parking Lot.

 

[Mollie_F]

Dear Old Headteacher of Mine,

You were brilliant. You were one of those old school guys who required discipline and respect. But you had a heart of gold and all our best interests at heart...you let us play, but made us learn - not just our lessons, but our responsibilities too.

I never forgot you. I always figured you suspected something and that you tried your best to help in a time when getting involved was not the done thing.

I heard you were laid to rest today.

Be at peace,

A Mollie glad to have known you

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear friend,

I know that you want your best friend and love up with you. But you also knew the situation when you got involved with him. He's married. Stop posting shit on his facebook page...knowing that he will most likely get into a fight with her about it. He has enough to deal with, without you stirring the pot.

I realize that things for him are not good..they've already had their issues. The thing is....he is still living with her...in the same house..they have a child together. His life is hell without you trying to help it along.

You say you love him. Well love doesn't put the person you love into situations where you know he's going to be at odds with another person. I understand you want him up there with you. Let things progress between him and her on their own.

You know he is going to be up before the year is out. Be patient. Or you will lose the best thing that you've got going on in your life (aside from your child).

Signed,

A friend who wants to smack you for being such a bitch.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear sizzling hot guy at Starbucks today....

FYI......us doing naughty things in bed did cross my mind....


Signed
I hope it sticks in your mind also.....

 

[veryviolet1]

Dear you,

Can't wait to see you. It's been too long and I have an ache in my soul that needs your touch.

Impatient Litster

 

[Macdaddy23]

Dear ear pressure,

Please go the hell away. I need a blow job.

 

[lacandy]

Dear asshole -

It's a game that little kids are playing! You don't tell little kids to take each other out and you most especially don't do it when it's MY kid that you're talking about. She was doing EXACTLY what the catcher's supposed to do when someone's coming home. She's 10!

And obviously she knows how to play the game because they stomped your team tonight so maybe you should take some of your own advice...

Let the little kids just play the game.

Signed,

One pissed off protective Momma bear

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Family,

I'm glad you're here. Really. I am. I love y'all. I've missed you. It's great that y'all came to see me. However all of us here in my tiny little apartment might have been a bad idea. Apparently the only time I'm going to get a moment to myself while you are here will be when I take a shower.

So for the purposes of this visit, yes, I usually take 30 minutes showers. (Lie!)

Signed,
Woman Who Is Going To Have A Really Big Water Bill Next Month

PS - while we're at it, don't go digging around to far back in the top drawer of the bathroom. I'm pretty sure that's where I stashed my Lelo balls. And certainly don't look in the boxes on the top shelf of the closet.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear people in the neighborhood who let their 10 pound or less little rat dogs walk them:

You suck. Get your fucking dogs under control.

~ Person who is looked at funny because he has pit bull mixes

 

[onlydreams]

.....

 

[ShortChangeHero]

Dear company I work for,
I've put up with a lot in the last 4 years and I've not really said too much. I was hired when I was desperate and it seemed like a good, solid gig at the time, and for the most part it was. However, in the last year things have been going steadily down hill. First it was the hours going down, keeping me at the bare minimum for full time employment, but keeping me just busy enough that I can't take a second job. Then it was all the new BS you rolled out on this new customer service plan. I've got news for you- this is IMPOSSIBLE to do with just 2 people per shift, and I don't need a stupid handbook to explain it all. I've been offering this same level of service since I've worked for you. You should know. You've sent me two hand-signed letters of commendation for my dedication to my customers. Now you up the cost of the health insurance, which added another $40 to the total deductions from my pay each week. After 4 years of raises (the max percentage each time, because you said I deserved it) I'm now taking home LESS than I did when I was still at $9 and some change.

But the kicker- the real punch in the dick for me- came when I was called into the office and informed that I could not take off the week of Christmas (as I had had scheduled for the last 2 months) because you decided to move the vacation blackout to the week before. Then you said I could take the time, but it would be unpaid and I'd lose a full half a paycheck if I did. This was going to be my first holiday with my family in almost seven years. My mother was looking forward to it so much that it was practically all she talked about. How the hell am I supposed to tell her I have to cancel it?

I'm done guys- I'm totally fucking over it at this point. I'm putting out feelers and checking leads. Eventually, I'll find a job with a future- maybe even one where I'm appreciated. And when that time comes, I'm a ghost. You might even end up as only the second company I ever refused to give a notice to. Kudos- that takes talent!

Sincerely,
Your employee- NOT your bitch.