Depression. It's a silent killer.

[JonathanBair]

Morning. I have gotten through the times I want to self harm primarily because of my need to clean for my kids and my pets. The thought of my children being the ones to find me has stopped my hand.

Find and follow the relief.

Have the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

I am really glad that you have a strong reason not to give in and to keep fighting the thoughts of self harm... I hope you have a amazing day

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. I hate the saying but today it fits. One Day at a Time. Sometimes it’s one hour at a time. Keep going.

Have the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[James_Bassytian]

I hope you have something you can hold on to for when times get dark for you... Hang in there and keep going

Thank you.

I’ve been doing alright for a while now. I came close to ending it all a few months ago, but I’ve gotten help, and have reached a much better place, mentally and emotionally.

A major thing that has helped is that I have stopped negative self-talk. Much of my depression comes from having an extremely negative view of myself, shaped from years of bullying at school, and emotional abuse/neglect from my dad. I interalized it, and kept it going, even after graduating and my dad’s passing, both events occuring more then twenty years ago now.

But now that I have stopped that, my depression has lost a lot of its power. Is it a cure? No. Will it work for everyone. Again, no. Everyone’s battle with it is as unique as whatever it will take to help them.

 

[JonathanBair]

Thank you.

I’ve been doing alright for a while now. I came close to ending it all a few months ago, but I’ve gotten help, and have reached a much better place, mentally and emotionally.

A major thing that has helped is that I have stopped negative self-talk. Much of my depression comes from having an extremely negative view of myself, shaped from years of bullying at school, and emotional abuse/neglect from my dad. I interalized it, and kept it going, even after graduating and my dad’s passing, both events occuring more then twenty years ago now.

But now that I have stopped that, my depression has lost a lot of its power. Is it a cure? No. Will it work for everyone. Again, no. Everyone’s battle with it is as unique as whatever it will take to help them.

I am really glad you found something that is making your life better

 

[Wetkitty09]

Hello. My day started off fast and I didn’t get to check in until now. My living situation has improved and soon we’ll have heat and a true door in the shelter. My son has been a true gift for all his help and support while we get ready for the winter. Not being alone helps both of us so much.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. I hope today goes smoothly for you.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[James_Bassytian]

I hope everyone is having a good day so far.

I'm having a good day off from work. Over the weekend, I have no idea what happened, but the heel and ankle of my right foot began hurting so badly I could barely walk. I wore a brace on that ankle Monday, which made walking possible. Yesterday, I put two sets of gel insoles in my shoes, and that helped dramatically!

Today, I'm kicking back and staying off my feet as much as possible.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. My son and I got the door in the blanket fort done yesterday. Today the heater goes in if all works out well.
The snow will be here soon.
Having the place you live comfortable and safe is so important to your mental health.

Have the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[WordsthatCaress]

Having never suffered from depression personally I cannot really offer any meaningful insight.

However, one of the bravest people I ever knew took their own life earlier this year. This was a man who fought in a number of conflicts and whose selfless bravery I witnessed many times.

We stayed friends long after we both left the military. Last Christmas we ran in the Brecon Beacons as we had done as young army officers. We drank beer and reminisced. I thought I knew him really well.

He never said a word about his demons. His struggle to adapt to civilian life. His night terrors. I only found that out after his funeral.

I feel guilty that I couldn't save him - that I didn't ask the right questions.

If you are struggling please reach out to someone. Anyone. Don't let depression envelop you completely. Your life is precious and priceless.

 

[Wetkitty09]

So often we don’t want to burden our friends with the demons we fight. The enjoyment of those we care for often keeps those demons away for the time we’re together with friends. It’s the times alone that wear us down and for some the ability to reach out isn’t there.
We mask our depression with smiles and redirect the conversation whenever it gets too close to the subject of our lives. Most friends don’t notice the change in subject or see through our masks.
This thread allows us our anonymity so we can share our stories and pain and know we aren’t alone and, hopefully, find the ear of someone else that knows what we’re going through.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wonderer67]

Having never suffered from depression personally I cannot really offer any meaningful insight.

However, one of the bravest people I ever knew took their own life earlier this year. This was a man who fought in a number of conflicts and whose selfless bravery I witnessed many times.

We stayed friends long after we both left the military. Last Christmas we ran in the Brecon Beacons as we had done as young army officers. We drank beer and reminisced. I thought I knew him really well.

He never said a word about his demons. His struggle to adapt to civilian life. His night terrors. I only found that out after his funeral.

I feel guilty that I couldn't save him - that I didn't ask the right questions.

If you are struggling please reach out to someone. Anyone. Don't let depression envelop you completely. Your life is precious and priceless.

Your message is quite uplifting, however, I gave it a sad because I’m sorry for the loss of your friend…

I know. Ive been there. Maybe your friendship and communication helped him live longer.

I have kept in touch w several friends who I served and deployed with. We don’t ever talk about our feelings. I sometimes wish we could. But I don’t ever go there. All of us have invisible injuries, I know. One of us has very visible physical injuries - But he’s maybe the stablest of us all!

I know I keep going often by staying busy. And sometimes this is a dangerous mask. I have to be super aware and vigilant.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say or express here. Most importantly, I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.

So often we don’t want to burden our friends with the demons we fight. The enjoyment of those we care for often keeps those demons away for the time we’re together with friends. It’s the times alone that wear us down and for some the ability to reach out isn’t there.
We mask our depression with smiles and redirect the conversation whenever it gets too close to the subject of our lives. Most friends don’t notice the change in subject or see through our masks.
This thread allows us our anonymity so we can share our stories and pain and know we aren’t alone and, hopefully, find the ear of someone else that knows what we’re going through.

True words wet kitty.

I know I don’t want to burden my friends when things get tough.

Thanks for jump starting this thread many moons ago - you are never alone.

We are here for you on this thread if you are struggling.

 

[Fillingthevoid]

Depression is so hard to explain to people even those who have suffered from it sometimes. I have always been a very outgoing person but for the last 10 months I keep slipping further and further to just nothingness I try not to let loved ones actually see me cause they could tell something is wrong but I fake it when I have to and just carry it myself but I got this

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. I hope today goes as smoothly as possible.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[ericalauren]

It's almost winter here in New Jersey (USA). I'm usually fine with the darkness of winter until February and March. Then, get seasonal depression. I have to do light therapy with a light therapy lamp and also take small doses of Xanax sometimes. It's a doozy! Praise be for psych meds, though.

 

[SlipperyPeaches]

It's almost winter here in New Jersey (USA). I'm usually fine with the darkness of winter until February and March. Then, get seasonal depression. I have to do light therapy with a light therapy lamp and also take small doses of Xanax sometimes. It's a doozy! Praise be for psych meds, though.

Goodluck facing the winter! I've just escaped one of the statistically coldest winters where I live. It gets lonely when you can't go outside :/

 

[ericalauren]

Goodluck facing the winter! I've just escaped one of the statistically coldest winters where I live. It gets lonely when you can't go outside :/

Thank you! It does get lonely. However, it’s the lack of sunlight that really messes up my brain.

 

[Wetkitty09]

The winter is going to be significantly better for my son and me now that the heater is in. Now to figure out the lighting.

The holidays are coming and many, like me, have issues with the season. Keep in touch, we’re here to help if you need it.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wonderer67]

It's almost winter here in New Jersey (USA). I'm usually fine with the darkness of winter until February and March. Then, get seasonal depression. I have to do light therapy with a light therapy lamp and also take small doses of Xanax sometimes. It's a doozy! Praise be for psych meds, though.

It’s interesting to see how everyone’s conditions are different. My SAD peaks in the fall - like right now I’m going through it. Usually poor sleep… Changing the clocks never helps…

The poor sleep exacerbate my ptsd dreams, (maybe it’s the other way around) which are very active right now. This gives me anxiety and some depression and makes me really irritable.

I don’t mind the fall season but I hate that it gets dark so early - it really bothers me.

I’ve been around the track a few times and know what to do: being outside is among the best things for me. It gives natural vitamin D, which does combat depression.

 

[James_Bassytian]

I have reached out at times, and thankfully, it finally paid off for me. But I kept so much of it to myself. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. There was also a sense of pride. I wanted everyone to think I was "tough", even when I really wasn't, but the thought of appearing "vulnerable" was too humiliating to bear.

I think a lot of that comes from how men have been conditioned to believe that showing any sign of depression makes us weak. I beg to differ; it takes a tremendous amount of strength to carry such weight on your shoulders that it causes your body to feel twice as heavy as it normally does. And imagine the strength it must take to cast your pride away and reach out for help. I had to do just that. I had tried to take my own life, realized that I only did so to make the emotional pain stop, and reached out one last time.

I'm not condoning it, but it also takes a lot of bravery to end your own life. Trust me, trying to do so was the most frightening experience of my life. Your body fights back by activating your instinct to stay alive, which includes intense fear. Listening to your body and giving in is no act of cowardice, however. The act of choosing to remain here is a brave first step.

 

[JonathanBair]

It’s interesting to see how everyone’s conditions are different. My SAD peaks in the fall - like right now I’m going through it. Usually poor sleep… Changing the clocks never helps…

The poor sleep exacerbate my ptsd dreams, (maybe it’s the other way around) which are very active right now. This gives me anxiety and some depression and makes me really irritable.

I don’t mind the fall season but I hate that it gets dark so early - it really bothers me.

I’ve been around the track a few times and know what to do: being outside is among the best things for me. It gives natural vitamin D, which does combat depression.

I do not know much about SAD, but I do know about bi-polar depression, and I know about PTSD.. I know both depression and PTSD can be rough to handle.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Hello. Each day we can stay in this life is another opportunity to find out how to make life better for us. Don’t let the demons win.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[JonathanBair]

Hello. Each day we can stay in this life is another opportunity to find out how to make life better for us. Don’t let the demons win.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

I agree, one can not give in and let them win... Support is out there and I hope everyone finds there anchor or ground. Something to help keep fighting.

 

[James_Bassytian]

Hello. Each day we can stay in this life is another opportunity to find out how to make life better for us. Don’t let the demons win.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

I agree, one can not give in and let them win... Support is out there and I hope everyone finds there anchor or ground. Something to help keep fighting.

I like to think that we all have a little warrior inside us who fights on our behalf, even when we ourselves can't. And yeah, even the little warrior needs some outside help, but it is what keeps us going.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. Dealing with pain in the body can really bring you down and fuel the depression in your mind. Find the the healthiest way to deal with the pain. Don’t let it beat you down.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[James_Bassytian]

Morning. Dealing with pain in the body can really bring you down and fuel the depression in your mind. Find the the healthiest way to deal with the pain. Don’t let it beat you down.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

Keep fighting, you've got this!