Discreet Bi Women...

[Minouners]

Now that my brain is functioning better, I can now say I'm having a great day! Then again, I always have a great day, no matter what.

That's a great way of looking at your everyday life! Wish I could do the same!

 

[Terra_Cide]

That's a great way of looking at your everyday life! Wish I could do the same!

It quite easy to do, really. Alls you gotta do is make the choice and stick to it.

 

[Minouners]

It quite easy to do, really. Alls you gotta do is make the choice and stick to it.

I'll try to keep that in mind! Thanks sweety!

 

[Terra_Cide]

I'll try to keep that in mind! Thanks sweety!

Anytime, m'dear.

 

[SweetErika]

Can someone tell me how they feel about this one...

Our thread says, Discreet Bi Women... does it bother anyone that a man posts here???

It doesn't bother me if it's on-topic and a good contribution. We've had male S.O.'s asking how they can support their female partners in exploration, for instance, IIRC.

When it's only slightly on-topic and the person in question appears to be a wanker or here to advertise something, it's an annoyance, but they do have a right to post here, after all. I say if it's that much of a problem, put him on Iggy.

 

[Porcelain_Kat20]

Wow this is a very good thread. I just stumbled upon it and it applys to myself in every way. I have a boyfriend that ive been with for three years, and one past bisexual encounter that is hard to forget. Its always been on my mind to further explore my desires, but my commitment has stopped me.

 

[Minouners]

It doesn't bother me if it's on-topic and a good contribution. We've had male S.O.'s asking how they can support their female partners in exploration, for instance, IIRC.

When it's only slightly on-topic and the person in question appears to be a wanker or here to advertise something, it's an annoyance, but they do have a right to post here, after all. I say if it's that much of a problem, put him on Iggy.

True enough. I guess my curiosity gets the best of me sometimes... oh well!

 

[Terra_Cide]

Wow this is a very good thread. I just stumbled upon it and it applys to myself in every way. I have a boyfriend that ive been with for three years, and one past bisexual encounter that is hard to forget. Its always been on my mind to further explore my desires, but my commitment has stopped me.

Welcome to the thread!

 

[SweetSeren]

Hi all,

Well, this is a great opportunity to discuss my semi-confusion. I beleive I am bi. I was bi-curious until my husband and I had a threesome with my good friend. The problem with the threesome is it was predominantly between me and the girl, and my husband pretty much watched (although he says he enjoyed it very much). I have very strong feelings for her and she has feelings for me and it is something we have wanted to do for a long time but i guess kind of masked it with the threesome option. We have been to the "alternative" bar together and did the dancing close and stuff. And then one night these guys dared us to kiss and it was ok. But we had the threesome later that night and it was like just her and me even though my husband was there. It was amazing. But i said i could never do it again because I just felt too close to her...anyone experienced that? I mean I love my husband very much and am attracted to him, but at the same time i have strong feelings for her and being with her was amazing.

That being said, i have always preferred porn with FF, some MF turns me on but its mostly FF. And i dont like the male genitalia, even when i was young i preferred F over M, and I dont like giving BJ's but I loved pleasuring my friend in that area . My fantasies involve FF, but I do have a lot of MF fantasies too (reluctance is my preference as some would know!) I have always been with guys in relationships. I have only ever had sex with my husband and this friend. Is that enough to know what i prefer?

I dont know. I am 25 F, happily married with a daughter, would not consider going outside my marriage for sexual relationships, but I just want to be clear on my sexuality.

Grrr it is so frustrating not being able to talk to anyone. My husband is all for it and is very open sexually, but he wants to be involved in any "extramarital sex" LOL.

Anyway, comments would be good. I am sensitive so please do not speak with intent to harm. Thank you.

 

[dizzylia]

Hi all,

Well, this is a great opportunity to discuss my semi-confusion. I beleive I am bi. I was bi-curious until my husband and I had a threesome with my good friend. The problem with the threesome is it was predominantly between me and the girl, and my husband pretty much watched (although he says he enjoyed it very much). I have very strong feelings for her and she has feelings for me and it is something we have wanted to do for a long time but i guess kind of masked it with the threesome option. We have been to the "alternative" bar together and did the dancing close and stuff. And then one night these guys dared us to kiss and it was ok. But we had the threesome later that night and it was like just her and me even though my husband was there. It was amazing. But i said i could never do it again because I just felt too close to her...anyone experienced that? I mean I love my husband very much and am attracted to him, but at the same time i have strong feelings for her and being with her was amazing.

That being said, i have always preferred porn with FF, some MF turns me on but its mostly FF. And i dont like the male genitalia, even when i was young i preferred F over M, and I dont like giving BJ's but I loved pleasuring my friend in that area . My fantasies involve FF, but I do have a lot of MF fantasies too (reluctance is my preference as some would know!) I have always been with guys in relationships. I have only ever had sex with my husband and this friend. Is that enough to know what i prefer?

I dont know. I am 25 F, happily married with a daughter, would not consider going outside my marriage for sexual relationships, but I just want to be clear on my sexuality.

Grrr it is so frustrating not being able to talk to anyone. My husband is all for it and is very open sexually, but he wants to be involved in any "extramarital sex" LOL.

Anyway, comments would be good. I am sensitive so please do not speak with intent to harm. Thank you.

Seren as in Star? Welcome.

Your experience and your husband's interest sound very much like what I've been living for three years, except I'm the "friend". My best friend wanted to be intimate with me, and her husband was okay with it as long as we didn't do stuff behind his back. It was weird at first, but now it feels pretty normal. (It's been three years since then, and I still live with them.)

I've never had sex with the husband in those three years. He's fine with that. Hell, he gets to watch his wife and her best friend play around, after all.

This sounds like something important to you, so don't cut yourself off just yet. Just think about it for a while, play the scenario in your head and decide if you would be okay with that compromise.

-dizzy

 

[SweetErika]

It was amazing. But i said i could never do it again because I just felt too close to her...anyone experienced that? I mean I love my husband very much and am attracted to him, but at the same time i have strong feelings for her and being with her was amazing.

Welcome. I am going to ask some questions and make comments, but it's meant to be helpful, not hurtful in anyway, okay? (A preface just in case, since I know the sensitive thing all too well. )

Why is it a problem for you to be close to her? What's the worst that could happen? What, realisitically, do you believe will actually happen?

I have always been with guys in relationships. I have only ever had sex with my husband and this friend. Is that enough to know what i prefer?

Is there a reason you feel you have to prefer one over the other? A lot of bisexuals prefer both. I like sex with them equally (they're so different, I can't really compare), though I can't imagine having a marriage-type relationship with another woman, but I don't feel the need to have a preference.

I dont know. I am 25 F, happily married with a daughter, would not consider going outside my marriage for sexual relationships, but I just want to be clear on my sexuality.

Haven't you already gone outside of your marriage by having sex with your friend? In my mind, the fact that my husband's there doesn't make a bit of difference; if I have sex with another, I've done it whether or not my husband's there/involved. It means I'm no longer monogamous, and nonmonogamy=nonmonogamy, no matter what flavor it takes (threesomes, me with a lover w/ my husband's support, an orgy, etc.).

Grrr it is so frustrating not being able to talk to anyone. My husband is all for it and is very open sexually, but he wants to be involved in any "extramarital sex" LOL.

Usually that requirement indicates insecurity of some type. My husband wanted it that way too, until I reassured him I was never going to leave him for someone else (and that's true, and I still wouldn't consider it for a second). Our relationship wasn't as good then, either - it got a lot stronger once we started communicating about stuff like this though.

What I hear from you is that you'd like to be alone with your friend, but are afraid of the attachment and your husband's reaction. Is that correct? If so, address each one separately and completely. If your relationship is as solid as it needs to be to handle extramarital activity, and you communicate well, you'll work something mutually agreeable out. However, I think both have to have a positive perspective and mindset, too - if they're looking at everything as wrong/bad/threatening/scary, they won't get anywhere. Instead, both have to see it as promoting fulfillment and happiness, which will ultimately benefit each of them and the marriage.

 

[YummyMummy26]

I dont know if i fall into the curious category or the full out bi category. I've been with 2 women since I've started having sex. I'm happily married with kids, but always have this wanton desire to be with a woman. The last woman I was with was everything i needed/wanted at the time. Her husband and mine both know about the encounter, however her husband wanted pics/video or something along those lines. I'm just not comfortable with a man watching me go down on a woman or vice versa. I'd feel like an animal at the zoo ya know? I tend to be very picky though with the women I'd take on as friends with benifits. I have to trust them because after all that's a very intimate area down there and second I dont want to scare any one away. My husband has known for years that I'm bi-sexual and that I have my conditions. He doesnt want pics or anything like that although lately he's staged an intrest in watching or having a three some. His biggest fear is that I will get hurt.

 

[SweetErika]

I dont know if i fall into the curious category or the full out bi category. I've been with 2 women since I've started having sex. I'm happily married with kids, but always have this wanton desire to be with a woman. The last woman I was with was everything i needed/wanted at the time. Her husband and mine both know about the encounter, however her husband wanted pics/video or something along those lines. I'm just not comfortable with a man watching me go down on a woman or vice versa. I'd feel like an animal at the zoo ya know? I tend to be very picky though with the women I'd take on as friends with benifits. I have to trust them because after all that's a very intimate area down there and second I dont want to scare any one away. My husband has known for years that I'm bi-sexual and that I have my conditions. He doesnt want pics or anything like that although lately he's staged an intrest in watching or having a three some. His biggest fear is that I will get hurt.

So, YM, why would you think you're bi-curious as opposed to just bi? Are you still undecided as to whether or not you're attracted to women after sex with a couple? I'm just curious about how people use/define words; I always learn something from hearing others' definitions.

I had a good feeling I was bi, but I think I didn't acknowledge it or consider it an option since I wanted a LTR with a man. Having sex with a woman simply confirmed it for me, reaffirming my feelings and what I knew for several years at least. Then I was able to look back and see there was something to my fantasies and crushes on girls/women starting from a young age. All of the pieces were there, I just needed something to put them into place to create the picture.

 

[YummyMummy26]

So, YM, why would you think you're bi-curious as opposed to just bi? Are you still undecided as to whether or not you're attracted to women after sex with a couple? I'm just curious about how people use/define words; I always learn something from hearing others' definitions.

I actually at one point questioned my sexuality because I'd only been with one person at the time. Then I actively persued another women reciently and I throughly enjoyed it, although nothing was reciprocated on my end. I loved getting her off. I know I'm attracted to women, I am just very inexperianced I guess along with selective. My first time with a woman was with my best friend from school. Then it was several years before I actually went down on a woman. It was that time frame that made me wonder if I was just curious or actually bi-sexual. I actually discussed my encounters with someone ( a guy actually ) and he told me that because I didnt have frequent FF encounters I was still bordering on curious and that I should just stick to guys. He made me feel very confused. I'm begining to think that the number of encounters you have with another woman dont constrict you to your sexuality.

 

[hotncmom]

Finally a thread for us ladies

It's nice to see that our gay and bi-male friends aren't the only ones with a decent thread. Thank you for starting this thread.

My past lover knew I was bi as is he but we did not participate in 3 somes. I feel as if my occasional bi side is MY bi side. To me group sex is a totally different sexual experience. Make sense?

I am a total hetero but have enjoyed exploring my bi side over the past few years with a few lovely discreet women. However, I don't feel as if it's a true sexual preference.

Now that I am in a new growing relationship with a nice man, I have no intentions of sharing my bi-side with him. If we move forward into a permanent relationship, I don't feel as if I would need to. I feel as if I have explored that and enjoyed it enough for a lifetime. However, when I am in a permanent relationship, I don't cheat.

In the meantime, I recently enjoyed a great night with a work colleague while we were on a business trip. I doubt it will happen again, but we had a great time.

 

[SweetErika]

I actually at one point questioned my sexuality because I'd only been with one person at the time. Then I actively persued another women reciently and I throughly enjoyed it, although nothing was reciprocated on my end. I loved getting her off. I know I'm attracted to women, I am just very inexperianced I guess along with selective. My first time with a woman was with my best friend from school. Then it was several years before I actually went down on a woman. It was that time frame that made me wonder if I was just curious or actually bi-sexual. I actually discussed my encounters with someone ( a guy actually ) and he told me that because I didnt have frequent FF encounters I was still bordering on curious and that I should just stick to guys. He made me feel very confused. I'm begining to think that the number of encounters you have with another woman dont constrict you to your sexuality.

What that guy told you is a bunch of B.S., and you're right, it has nothing to do with experience for most. A lot of gay people know they're not interested in the opposite sex well before they've had a same sex encounter, yet we wouldn't tell them they're not gay, right? Further, even if they have sex with the opposite gender, that doesn't make them bi if they don't enjoy it, or identify as wanting more. If a person is sexually attracted to both men and women, they're bi, no matter how little or much experience they have.

 

[aussie_ella]

What that guy told you is a bunch of B.S., and you're right, it has nothing to do with experience for most. A lot of gay people know they're not interested in the opposite sex well before they've had a same sex encounter, yet we wouldn't tell them they're not gay, right? Further, even if they have sex with the opposite gender, that doesn't make them bi if they don't enjoy it, or identify as wanting more. If a person is sexually attracted to both men and women, they're bi, no matter how little or much experience they have.

Wow this thread has gotten really interesting lately. It's so good to hear other people's persepctives and experiences. I completely agree that experience alone has little bearing on who you are, what you want, and what you like sexually. I've been with women mostly, but I have very graphic fantasies about men a lot too. I've fucked a few guys, but I'm always drawn back to women emotionally. I have to label myself bi, even though I find that difficult, because I know it's the truth. And I'm very down with that whole getting emotionally involved with a woman, and having to draw back because it will just hurt in the end.
So, we all know what we want inside. We do, there's no confusion there really. It's working out if that's OK that forms the problem. Our morality and sense of what's normal and healthy keep us unhappy or unsure, and therein lies the problem YM. You are looking for reasons why you shouldn't be with this woman. Maybe you should look for reasons why you should.

xx

 

[Minouners]

Welcome newbies!

 

[SweetSeren]

Welcome. I am going to ask some questions and make comments, but it's meant to be helpful, not hurtful in anyway, okay? (A preface just in case, since I know the sensitive thing all too well. )

Why is it a problem for you to be close to her? What's the worst that could happen? What, realisitically, do you believe will actually happen?


Is there a reason you feel you have to prefer one over the other? A lot of bisexuals prefer both. I like sex with them equally (they're so different, I can't really compare), though I can't imagine having a marriage-type relationship with another woman, but I don't feel the need to have a preference.


Haven't you already gone outside of your marriage by having sex with your friend? In my mind, the fact that my husband's there doesn't make a bit of difference; if I have sex with another, I've done it whether or not my husband's there/involved. It means I'm no longer monogamous, and nonmonogamy=nonmonogamy, no matter what flavor it takes (threesomes, me with a lover w/ my husband's support, an orgy, etc.).


Usually that requirement indicates insecurity of some type. My husband wanted it that way too, until I reassured him I was never going to leave him for someone else (and that's true, and I still wouldn't consider it for a second). Our relationship wasn't as good then, either - it got a lot stronger once we started communicating about stuff like this though.

What I hear from you is that you'd like to be alone with your friend, but are afraid of the attachment and your husband's reaction. Is that correct? If so, address each one separately and completely. If your relationship is as solid as it needs to be to handle extramarital activity, and you communicate well, you'll work something mutually agreeable out. However, I think both have to have a positive perspective and mindset, too - if they're looking at everything as wrong/bad/threatening/scary, they won't get anywhere. Instead, both have to see it as promoting fulfillment and happiness, which will ultimately benefit each of them and the marriage.

Thanks for your reply....I guess its not a problem for me to be close to her, except that i am affraid of the feelings i have for her. I get like a school girl when i am around, when people say you cant love two people at once i used to agree.... now not so sure. I am affraid of how deep i would get.

I know i dont need to choose one or the other. And i dont really see myself in a marriage relationship with a woman either, its just others have told me that since i enjoyed her company so much, and since I enjoyed my sexual experience with her so much that I am "a lesbian, so deal with it". I know that is a little far fetched since it was one experience. But maybe because I know my husband knows how i feel, i feel kinda guilty about my feelings. By deciding on one i guess it creats and excuse for ignoring the other.

I agree i have gone outside my marriage even if my husband is there. I guess what i meant is having sexual relations with another without my husbands knowledge. trust is a biggy for me.

And insecurity is a major issue, for both of us. Even though we reassure each other all the time and neither of us have cheated. We both have serious self esteem issues. I guess even though i would like an experience with my friend alone, my husband gives me the confidence to do things. he is kind of a security blanket u know... I dont know if that makes sense.

I guess also, I wouldnt be able to handle it if my husband had sexual expeirences on his own, once again insecurities, so i feel as if it would most definitely be wrong for me.

hmmm as i said earlier a little confused! LOL

 

[SweetSeren]

Seren as in Star? Welcome.

Your experience and your husband's interest sound very much like what I've been living for three years, except I'm the "friend". My best friend wanted to be intimate with me, and her husband was okay with it as long as we didn't do stuff behind his back. It was weird at first, but now it feels pretty normal. (It's been three years since then, and I still live with them.)

I've never had sex with the husband in those three years. He's fine with that. Hell, he gets to watch his wife and her best friend play around, after all.

This sounds like something important to you, so don't cut yourself off just yet. Just think about it for a while, play the scenario in your head and decide if you would be okay with that compromise.

-dizzy

I havent know anyone else who has know what seren means (unless of course you know welsh or are from wales) !

 

[curiouslvr30]

Im reeeeally curious

Ok so im not married but I am very curious about being with a woman ... My ex boyfriend used to love porn and I think this is what sparked my curiosity because watching a woman with another woman is the biggest turn on for me. I fantasize about it all the time so as you can imagine my curiosity is getting more intense everyday and sometimes when I see a beautiful woman the thought crosses my mind that it would be nice to try it with her ... anyway any suggestions on how to go about initiating an "encounter" so to speak . Please help obviously discreetness would be ideal.

 

[dizzylia]

I havent know anyone else who has know what seren means (unless of course you know welsh or are from wales) !

It's one of my favorite words.


-dizzy

 

[Minouners]

So I'm stuck at home yet again...

Please tell me you guys are having a better day!

 

[Terra_Cide]

So I'm stuck at home yet again...

Please tell me you guys are having a better day!

Min

I told my SO that I'm talking to bunch of other bi ladies online this weekend. He's interested, but not enough to want to know what we talk about. He's shy that way.

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Min

I told my SO that I'm talking to bunch of other bi ladies online this weekend. He's interested, but not enough to want to know what we talk about. He's shy that way.

Well he can always talk to me, & I can give him a few pointers.