Discreet Bi Women...

[Minouners]

Hey everyone. I'm not new to the boards, just to the thread and wanted to say hi =)

Welcome to the best threat in the GLBT!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

That could be it... I'll try to find that book and keep you posted! Thanks for the tip hot stuff!

Often your unconcious mind will use people, places and situations that are known to you to represent what is happening within it.
Be wary of simple dream definition dictionarys they are rarely accurate as they are often written by people with little understanding of psychology.

 

[SassySuzie]

Hey everyone. I'm not new to the boards, just to the thread and wanted to say hi =)

Hi and welcome! This is a lovely thread...hot, and yet very supportive

 

[SassySuzie]

Geeze... it just got quiet in here... was it something I said??

Oh, no....just crazy life. I almost never have dreams that I can remember. You are a lucky girl to be having these sexy, erotic dreams. No matter what their hidden meaning may be.

 

[SouthernGaGal]

Welcome to the best threat in the GLBT!

Thank you =)

 

[SouthernGaGal]

Hi and welcome! This is a lovely thread...hot, and yet very supportive

Thank you as well =P

 

[Minouners]

Often your unconcious mind will use people, places and situations that are known to you to represent what is happening within it.
Be wary of simple dream definition dictionarys they are rarely accurate as they are often written by people with little understanding of psychology.

I figured that dreams mean a lot more then they appear. You can be my psychologist

 

[Minouners]

Thank you =)

So how you been? Tell us about yourself!

 

[SouthernGaGal]

So how you been? Tell us about yourself!

Where to start? I'm 20 years old, from a small southern town. I've only been with 2 girls, but it's something I'd love to try again, with the right person.

 

[Minouners]

Where to start? I'm 20 years old, from a small southern town. I've only been with 2 girls, but it's something I'd love to try again, with the right person.

Well I'm not far from you. I'm 23 but sadly haven't been with any girls yet... soon though...

Are you going to school? Working?

 

[SouthernGaGal]

I've taken some college classes, but right now I'm working full time while I try and decide what I want to do with my life

 

[Minouners]

I've taken some college classes, but right now I'm working full time while I try and decide what I want to do with my life

Yeah I'm in the same boat as you are and completely clueless as to what I should do with my life. I've been trying to figure it out for over a year now and needless to say that it's not very encouraging. But I do hope that your search is successful and that you find your calling!

 

[SouthernGaGal]

Yeah I'm in the same boat as you are and completely clueless as to what I should do with my life. I've been trying to figure it out for over a year now and needless to say that it's not very encouraging. But I do hope that your search is successful and that you find your calling!

I know what you mean.. I thought I had everything planned out and then I realized that I was completely..lost..if that makes any sense. I wish you the best as well, and hopefully you'll keep me updated.. I think I'll be around the boards for a while =)

 

[Minouners]

I know what you mean.. I thought I had everything planned out and then I realized that I was completely..lost..if that makes any sense. I wish you the best as well, and hopefully you'll keep me updated.. I think I'll be around the boards for a while =)

Sounds like a plan! I've been around for a while and plan on keeping it that way myself. Thanks for the wish, I'll be needing that for sure!

Any plans for the weekend?

 

[SouthernGaGal]

Sounds like a plan! I've been around for a while and plan on keeping it that way myself. Thanks for the wish, I'll be needing that for sure!

Any plans for the weekend?

I'm just going to south GA to visit a friend..that's about it. How about you?

 

[Minouners]

I'm just going to south GA to visit a friend..that's about it. How about you?

Nothing exciting to be honest. Just spent the afternoon playing games and now making some supper and tonight probably a whole lot of nothing. Fun stuff I tell yah!

Hope you have fun!

 

[SouthernGaGal]

Nothing exciting to be honest. Just spent the afternoon playing games and now making some supper and tonight probably a whole lot of nothing. Fun stuff I tell yah!

Hope you have fun!

I did. I have a good time, thank you =)

 

[Minouners]

Good morning everyone!!

 

[ncgirl1976]

What about Husbands who wouldn't understand?

Hi I am new to posting, but I found this thread and I knew I had found my place. My husband tells me all the time about his past sexual encounters (God forbid I mention mine) and has told me that he had a FMF experience with an ex. When I mentioned that I was open to trying that, he looked at me like I had lost my mind. I have always been curious but never had the opportunity to take it further. When I use the word "discreet" I literally mean no one in my life would understand. Being a mother of a son makes it harder because I don't want him to think this is something that he will go through (although if he grows up and decides to be with men, I would fully support his decision). My biggest problem is that I have no idea how to approach someone. I wouldn't want my husband to know (the look told me all I need to know about that) and I am afraid that it would turn into something more than a one time "I was just curious" thing.

 

[SweetErika]

Hi I am new to posting, but I found this thread and I knew I had found my place. My husband tells me all the time about his past sexual encounters (God forbid I mention mine) and has told me that he had a FMF experience with an ex. When I mentioned that I was open to trying that, he looked at me like I had lost my mind. I have always been curious but never had the opportunity to take it further. When I use the word "discreet" I literally mean no one in my life would understand. Being a mother of a son makes it harder because I don't want him to think this is something that he will go through (although if he grows up and decides to be with men, I would fully support his decision). My biggest problem is that I have no idea how to approach someone. I wouldn't want my husband to know (the look told me all I need to know about that) and I am afraid that it would turn into something more than a one time "I was just curious" thing.

Welcome.

I think every kid would be lucky to have parents who are open about sexuality at age-appropriate times. My mom didn't do a bad job with that (and, like you, I knew she'd still love and accept me if I were gay), but if she'd been more open and showed understanding of different sexualities and relationship styles, I wouldn't feel like I needed to hide that I'm bisexual, polyamorous or into kink, which would bring us closer, I'm sure. I know she'd be fine with me being bi, but I doubt she'd understand that I can have loving relationships with women while I'm married without cheating or harming my husband in any way, or that D/s and S&M are consensual and make us happy.

Hubby and I fully plan on being open, showing our kid(s) that sexuality is healthy, there are different options and whatever works and doesn't harm the people involved is wonderful so they don't grow up feeling like they have to hide or struggle with breaking the status quo, if they feel the desire to explore something outside of "straight, vanilla and monogamous."

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Hi I am new to posting, but I found this thread and I knew I had found my place. My husband tells me all the time about his past sexual encounters (God forbid I mention mine) and has told me that he had a FMF experience with an ex. When I mentioned that I was open to trying that, he looked at me like I had lost my mind. I have always been curious but never had the opportunity to take it further. When I use the word "discreet" I literally mean no one in my life would understand. Being a mother of a son makes it harder because I don't want him to think this is something that he will go through (although if he grows up and decides to be with men, I would fully support his decision). My biggest problem is that I have no idea how to approach someone. I wouldn't want my husband to know (the look told me all I need to know about that) and I am afraid that it would turn into something more than a one time "I was just curious" thing.

Well IMHO, this is really something that your partner has got to get to grips with and try and understand how you feel right now. Going behind his back is not the right thing to do, above all else it will probably spoil the experience as you will be feeling guilty even as you try and explore your feelings.
I would suggest that you really need to explain that you need personsal growth and that if he cant find a means to accomadate it then your relationship with him is doomed. I believ once he realises how serious you are, then he will have the sense to compromise and allow you some space to explore your desires.
I hope you can work this out without destroying what you already have, but at the end of the day you cant spend the rest of your life, feeling that your desires and needs are second place to his.

 

[Macy02]

catching up

Hey everyone, I've been busy with family and havent been able to get online, that and it seems we're in a weather pattern that unfortunated plays haovic with my satiltite internet.

Anyway, Min...those were some hot dreams. My dreams of late have been about the house being on fire, taking a job I didn't apply for, and crossing a river in a canoe with no paddle. wow now that i just typed that I think I need some evaluation about my dream state. But that's a different topic.


Welcome to all the new folks. Some one asked how do you approach someone ? (of the same gender - I believe) I'd like to know the answer to that too.

DH has been very supportive and trying to understand me, but we've not discussed my "fantasy" lately. I don't think my dh ever expected my sex drive would increase with age while his has diminished with age. Biologically it's not fair- but that's life it seems.

Someone had mentioned about talking about it before marriage and the situation not changing after marriage. I do agree, but for me 20 years ago I would not have even considered it. Now, grown up and much more educated(in more ways than I could have ever imagined) I think about it alot and I think with dh's blessing one day I will get to explore the possibility of being with a woman, just as soon as I figure out the answer to the question above about approaching someone. I think what stops me is my own fears more than dh. I've discovered that my dh thinks less about this stuff than I do and he has never denied me anything I truly wanted, even if he didn't understand. (Sometimes the issues were big, others small.)

So I hope everyone is having a great day and I'll try to drop in more often...it's so hard to catch up on three pages of posts, but I'm so glad you all are here and the discussion continues.

Macy

 

[Terra_Cide]

Another bi girl in a committed relationship here... and trust me, I know all about the word "discreet"!

I've recently moved back to my home town (population, under 3,000), and if you know anything about small towns, this one is just the same. Everyone knows everyone else, and you're related to half the population. I know for a fact that if I ever need to be updated on what's going on in my family, all I have to do is call up my aunt (the resident family matron), listen for an hour, and I'm completely up to date- no need to call anyone else.

So I can't wait til we move closer to the city come spring time, as I know Portland has become a fairly open-minded place to be in New England. My SO knows my lifestyle and he totally supports it, and he also understands my need to keep myself to myself (if that makes any sense), for the fact that the idea of 3,000 or so people knowing my personal life does not sound appealing to me.

 

[dizzylia]

Another bi girl in a committed relationship here... and trust me, I know all about the word "discreet"! [...]

I know small towns way too well and certainly can't blame you. Gossip travels faster than the speed of light sometimes.

Good luck with the move.


-diz

 

[angela146]

First up, this is very cool. Being able to talk about how the whole 'bi-curious' thing works is fantastic.

But. It is very apparent from your posts that you have never actually done this, that is, sex with a woman, and I think you may be totally underestimating the emotional connection two women have in bed. It's nothing like sex with men (trust me, lots of experience with both), even with a woman you've only just met. It's MUCH more intimate (think of going down on another woman for starters), and there is no way you could both come out unscathed.

It really depends on the woman. For me, sex with a woman is actually *less* intimate than it is with a man - even men other than my husband. With a woman, it's about friendship, support, comfort, caring. With a man, it's those things too but it also includes passion, vulnerability, an opening of heart and soul.

With a man, I can relax and let myself go - share an inner self that I can't with a woman.

The example of going down is a good one. Going down on a man involves taking him inside you - swallowing him - making him part of you. Whereas with a woman, it's mostly outside. Sure, you can get a little bit of her inside your mouth but there isn't a merging the way there is with a man.

But it's more than just the physical. I'm not sure why, but a man can "get to me" and incite a craving/wanting/needing desire that doesn't happen with a woman.

What I'm trying to say is, it's all very well saying "if I'm clear from the start I don't want any strings then it's her problem if she develops feelings for me". But I think that's an incredibly detached, cold and selfish way of approaching it. Using a woman for sex is traditionally the domain of men, and I think it's dangerous territory for women, who frankly should be more compassionate, to get into. Sure, I've met a few lesbians out there who fuck around, but they're not happy and easily develop crushes too.

All of which presumes that there is an attachment that somehow needs to be accepted or avoided. If you fall in love with women, that's a real danger/opportunity that you have to face.

But some of us don't get those feelings of romantic, swept-off-your-feet love with women.

I think the idea of two married/hetero-committed women to get together is great. At least then there's not as much danger of one of them falling in love and finding themselves willing to live in a gay relationship, with all that entails, while the other is firmly in the closet. The closet is a very strong little box, and for those of us who've broken free, it's impossible to go back in. I don't think you can have your cake and eat it too.

And there's the rub (pun intended ). You may not know if you have the potential to fall in love with a woman until explore a relationship and start to have the feelings. In fact, it might not happen with the first or second woman. Although, I would think that you would at least have a clue - a sense that there could be those kinds of feelings with the right woman.

Anyway. Rant over. When it comes down to it, finding a sexy, femme, not-too-fucked-up lesbian is nigh on impossible!!! So sometimes we have to look outside the square and grab the straight, weak ones. LOL Great for the ego....for a while at least!

Or, the mostly-straight strong ones.