Do women have different standards

[WriterDom]

When it comes to good looks? If I were to pick out ten pretty women pictures and show them to 10 men I bet all of them would agree they were pretty. But it's not that way with women. Take me for example. There are some really nice looking women who say I'm handsome. At the same time there are some who want to run for the hills when they see my picture. With women is beauty more in the eye of the beholder?

 

[ketalia]

I don't think so. I don't think I've ever dated a guy with supermodel looks and if you look at the actors that I find sexy, most of them are not traditionally handsome. But some people are really shallow, regardless of gender.

Of course, when I think of the women I find hot, same thing applies. Not necessarily Miss America material but still to die for in my book.

 

[WriterDom]

I don't think they are lying to me. The first thing my last said when she saw me for the first time was "You are so cute!."

 

[sunandshadow]

I think both men and women have differences of opinion. My best male friend only likes chubby women. Some men only like redheads, or only like dark skin, or only like pale skin, or only like blonds. Some men prefer giant boobs, some prefer little ones, some prefer average ones. Some men strongly prefer short or long hair.

Personally what I consider attractive in men is long hair, no facial hair, and pretty features, just a little too sharp to be considered feminine. Preferably black hair and pale skin although some other color are nice too. There does seem to be a pretty big divide among women whether long hair or short hair is preferable, most women strongly prefer one or the other. Some women think it's essential that a man be taller than them, but I don't care at all. Some women like chubby teddy bears, some like skinny geeks or artists, some like muscular jocks.

 

[infinity706]

Well, I've never been told by any woman that I'm cute even though I've heard it enough from secondhand sources. I have been asked by one woman to go out in the parking lot and 'eat her tuna,' though. Of course, she figured I was an innocent, little virgin that she could have her way with...

[quoteSome women think it's essential that a man be taller than them, but I don't care at all.[/quote] I know a woman that wanted a taller guy. Of course, she was 4' 10, so there wasn't much selection shorter than her anyway.

 

[WriterDom]

I find a wide range of women attractive. My perfect women? Well she knows who she is.

 

[Firebrain]

x x x x x x

 

[WriterDom]

I have been told that some women like a bigger guy. That not all want skinny GQ types.

 

[Firebrain]

Well, nobody is going to come out and say "you're a warthog!"

We all like different things...hence Lit.

 

[Pandora73]

What I am about to say is just a generalization, so I realize not everyone fits this mold; however, with that said...

With women is beauty more in the eye of the beholder?

I would say to some extent, yes. Where I think women differ is in their ability to find a man more attractive based on personality characteristics, rather than strictly on physical appearance alone. I think they're more "accepting," if you will.

I am not saying men don't consider personality, as well; clearly, they do. However, even if a man finds a woman's personality very attractive and he gets along with her, I don't think he's as likely to pursue her if he's not physically attracted to her in some way. Men are primarily visual.

You can see this in celebrity relationships (or even regular folks walking down the street). How many conventionally unattractive male rockstars or actors are there with incredibly hot wives? But reverse the scenario... how many extremely attractive men do you see with homely, unattractive wives/girlfriends? Not many.

Just seems to me women are more often attracted to things other than what you look like -- be it intelligence, sense of humor, talent, creativity, a sweet nature, a fat wallet, whatever!

 

[Mr.G]

Hmmm

There ARE certain genetic protocols that seem to be attractive across a wide range of humanity. We naturally gravitate to people we see as genetically superior because procreation is our prime directive. It may sound horrible and insensitive but who wants to breed (have kids) with a person whose genes are all screwed up and may pass that on to your children too. That's just biology.

That said there are many many societal variations which can overcome genetics. Money is probably THE biggest factor. A man or woman can be ditch-pig oooglie and still have a bevy of hopefuls flitting about likes on a mound of moose manure!! That is the "good provider" clause. "I don't care what my kids look like. He can give me a house in Geshtadt, one in the Turks and a condo on 5th Ave. Who needs kids anyway?"

Hell some people are even turned on by BRAINS. Go figa, huh?

 

[littlebabyclit]

There does seem to be a pretty big divide among women whether long hair or short hair is preferable, most women strongly prefer one or the other.... (definitely so!)

Some women like chubby teddy bears, some like skinny geeks or artists, some like muscular jocks.

*raises hand for geeks and artists*

Where I think women differ is in their ability to find a man more attractive based on personality characteristics, rather than strictly on physical appearance alone. I think they're more "accepting," if you will.

I am not saying men don't consider personality, as well; clearly, they do. However, even if a man finds a woman's personality very attractive and he gets along with her, I don't think he's as likely to pursue her if he's not physically attracted to her in some way. Men are primarily visual.

Just seems to me women are more often attracted to things other than what you look like -- be it intelligence, sense of humor, talent, creativity, a sweet nature, a fat wallet, whatever!

I strongly agree with all the points made above, except for the possible inference that men are more visually oriented than women. That's a stereotypical view that I think is evolving, changing. Not the sole proofs of it, of course, but think about how there are men's mags out now telling men how to take care of themselves physically, how to stay in shape, be more attractive and be better in bed for women. "They" say that more and more women are viewers/consumers of porn. But if those are weak signs of change to you, then I beg to differ based on personal experience because this woman here has always been strongly responsive to visuals!

 

[jadefirefly]

I don't know if it's stereotypical to say men are visual creatures. I think they very much are, from a biological standpoint -- that's not to say that women aren't, or can't be, too.

I just think each individual person is going to have different standards of what they desire, period. Regardless of their gender. There are a few things that are so standard as to be universal (hip-to-waist ratio supercedes almost all cultures, interestingly enough) but most of the time, it's really so much personal preference.

 

[travelling1]

I agree...

I think that women and men are individually attracted to others.

I think that some of the differences might be because at times we are first attracted with our emotion not always our eyes or that sometimes we place others in a visual 'box' ie geek, stud, girl next door or model rather than seeing them as they are.

 

[auslit]

I agree with almost everyone here haha
I think it's not just that women may not rely on the visual to be attracted to someone but rather that they find other possibly somewhat small things a turn off that physical beauty falls by the way side. I also think women don't care AS much (they still care) about what their friends or society will think of their partners as long as they are attracted to their personality and or looks.

 

[kaycee217]

When it comes to good looks? If I were to pick out ten pretty women pictures and show them to 10 men I bet all of them would agree they were pretty. But it's not that way with women. Take me for example. There are some really nice looking women who say I'm handsome. At the same time there are some who want to run for the hills when they see my picture. With women is beauty more in the eye of the beholder?

I can understand this sentiment and agree with it, basically.

I think women are a little bit less superficial than men and what a woman finds physically appealing in a man is more diverse than what a man finds physically appealing in a woman.

In addition, I think women are more capable of looking "past" a guy's physical appearance if he has other attractive traits, but men are a little bit less capable of this with respect to women they find attractive.

 

[emap]

Honestly, I think alot of guys saying oh yeah she is hot is nothing more than fitting in with their friends. Guys seem to have this mentality of gotta be like everybody else, us gals generally like to find the diamond in the rough so to speak, we look for the different guy to date or sleep with.

Obviously not everybody on either side but for the most part, people are basically pack animals. They go along with the majority most of the time, also why the gay marriage laws are not being passed, they go in that little booth thingy and then think, what would my mom say, what would my coworkers say and go with what they think those would say they should have voted for. Sad and depressing but that's basic human behavior.

However there are certain thingys that most all women want, there are exceptions of course. As a basic line, women are predisposed to find a mate who is stronger, attentive and provides for their needs. Obviously there are butch lesbians who look for the opposite though they tend to fit into that base line us gals have for men.

Men on the other hand, have a baseline of wide hips, and alive. There have been studies to show that large breasts and a little meat on the bones, but there are so many guys who want petite skin and bone girls and so many who want a round mound of loving the only thing universal more or less is wide hips.

Wide hips mean she is more likely to survive childbirth and will be there to provide for their child along with being available for a second child. Granted there are men who want what women want, along with women who want what men want. The thingy is though, both of those are predisposed to homosexual tendencies.

After that it is down to personal preference, men just don't follow the beat of their own drummer as often as women do in public. This is why us gals are the better sex.

 

[NippleMuncher]

But it's not that way with women. Take me for example. There are some really nice looking women who say I'm handsome. At the same time there are some who want to run for the hills when they see my picture. With women is beauty more in the eye of the beholder?

Maybe it's not you so much as what you're holding in your hand ... <avitar ... >


What we find "attractive" in others usually has little to do with outward appearances. Pick up any magazine that has published the "10, 50, 100, etc., most attractive" people. You'll usually find a good mix from downright homely to drop dead gorgeous. For me it takes far more than physical attributes or beauty to find someone attractive. A slimy, loathsome interior will tarnish all else in short order, yet a genuinely good hearted individual has a beauty far beyond their physical trappings.

 

[PertPerth]

Interesting thread! In my experience, women are definitely more "eye of the beholder" rather than finding a stereotypical good-looking guy attractive.
I went speed dating with two friends - 12 guys, we picked 3 each....none of the same guy! I was amazed!
I always remember my friends going on and on about "this stunningly handsome" guy she just met - then meeting him and thinking "yuck!".
But then perhaps it's just me - I don't like the look of Brad Pitt either.

 

[emap]

Brad Pitt is so yucky.

He can stay with Jolie and watch her blow more directors to get work for all I care.

Vin Diesel though oh mega yummmmiiieeeeeessssssssss. Give me Vin and he may be able to walk away later, I'm not real sure I could be satisfied after 5-6 times.

On a weirder note, there is a porn star I wouldn't mind meeting, i don't know his name but he's in every movie it seems, long hair, tall kinda muscular but not really. The only thing really keeping him from major hotness he has a foot fetish, which isn't a big deal but it's weird and I can't stop thinking about it.

 

[auslit]

porn stars are usually paid to have a fetish dear

 

[angle1984]

I think the "eye of the beholder" holds true for both men and women. For example I don't think Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Sandra Bullock, or Nicole Kidman are attractive yet I think Vin Diesel, Halle Berry, Taye Diggs, and Kate Hudson are. Some will agree with me and some will disagree with me. Try beauty isn't determined by attractiveness alone but also by a person's personality which can't be determined from just a picture.

 

[cromsgirl]

Eye of the beholder

I definitely think it is in thew eye of the beholder, at least for me. I am a child of the '80, so I love long hair on men. I don't get to see that many though. Thankfully my husband has hair past his waist, so I get to play with it all the time.

I also find intelligence one of the hottest things. I had a friend that I had known for over two years and I thought he was kind of cute, but not really sexy. Then I went to his doctoral dissertation presentation and just about fell out of my chair. I knew he was smart, but listening him talk about the research he had done over the last 4 years had me completely reevaluating him. Now I think he is incredibly sexy.

 

[HowMayIPleaseU]

Well for me, I don't really want a drop dead gorgeous man. It would make me more self conscious and harder for me to trust him.

I like more "average" looking guys a la Owen Williams - a guy that could blend into the crowd possibly looks wise (I mean he's good looking, but he's not drop dead gorgeous), but if he has wit and intelligence and sense of humor - ohhhh now that drives up the attraction big time.

 

[littlebabyclit]

I also find intelligence one of the hottest things. I had a friend that I had known for over two years and I thought he was kind of cute, but not really sexy. Then I went to his doctoral dissertation presentation and just about fell out of my chair. I knew he was smart, but listening him talk about the research he had done over the last 4 years had me completely reevaluating him. Now I think he is incredibly sexy.

Right on ! Intelligence is a big seller for me, too- as long as arrogance isn't entwined with that.

Also, a sexy voice can trump all. I've found some guys (who weren't that good looking at all) very sexy by virtue of their voices alone. A voice that makes you want to melt is heaven...actors Alan Rickman and Matthew Macfadyen (see my av) have fine examples of creamworthy voices.