Do you mind someone to think you queer?

[Huckleman2000]

I have been mistaken for a boy, too. If you can't see my hair and I'm in a sports bra (completely obliterating my chest), t-shirt, and running shorts, I look a bit like Gackt or Kubozuka Yosuke (only not nearly as pretty).

I don't know that I've ever had someone randomly think I was a lesbian, but I do know my ex-husband held that hope near and dear to his heart. I've been hit on by women, but it was at a gay bar, so I don't know if that counts. It was fun to flirt.

For some reason, that post really turned me on.

 

[SnoopDog]

Wow, this is more of a 'comfort-Snoopy-thread' than I intended it to be. Thnx guys.

Anyways, I'm glad to see that the people on here seem to have the right attitude towards the mistaken-for-gay thing.
But isn't it strange that the first and usual reflex to it is feeling uneasy and a little bothered by it?

I mean, it still seems to be in our early education that being homosexual is kinda 'wrong'.
Maybe it's because when parents have the 'bees-and-flowers' talk with their kids they usually spare out the homosexual issue.

Thank god that most of us grown up to be more intelligent like that and it's a major part of our civilizations who has no problems at all with this.

(Too bad there's still this other part)

Snoopy

 

[Shadowskill Knight]

Wow, this is more of a 'comfort-Snoopy-thread' than I intended it to be. Thnx guys.

Anyways, I'm glad to see that the people on here seem to have the right attitude towards the mistaken-for-gay thing.
But isn't it strange that the first and usual reflex to it is feeling uneasy and a little bothered by it?

I mean, it still seems to be in our early education that being homosexual is kinda 'wrong'.
Maybe it's because when parents have the 'bees-and-flowers' talk with their kids they usually spare out the homosexual issue.

Thank god that most of us grown up to be more intelligent like that and it's a major part of our civilizations who has no problems at all with this.

(Too bad there's still this other part)

Snoopy

I doesn't bother me if others think I'm gay.

Once when I was in school (class 7)all the boys were convinced that I was gay. At that time I was very young and it made me self-consious and uneasy. But since then I have grown up, I am open minded and what other's think of me doesn't trouble me.

Shadow.

 

[angelicminx]

I doesn't bother me if others think I'm gay.

Once when I was in school (class 7)all the boys were convinced that I was gay. At that time I was very young and it made me self-consious and uneasy. But since then I have grown up, I am open minded and what other's think of me doesn't trouble me.

Shadow.

Great attitude! I wish I had learned it sooner! I am nearly 32 and have had a lot more fun in the last 2 years than I ever have. People don't like me, or disapprove of me, SO WHAT!

 

[Kassiana]

The thing I mind is being hit on after I say I'm not interested. It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman who does it, but if you keep on after I say, "No, thanks," then you're a jerk. And that's not based on your sexual orientation.

 

[moonlight elf]

I ditto the Knight and the minx!!!


That said I can't say if I've ever been mistaken for a lesbian.
I have grown enough that I'm happy with who I am. At one time others opinions would have troubled me but not anymore. I have an open mind and I know that those who judge me are not really worth knowing.

 

[scheherazade_79]

I have the opposite problem to you, Snoop.

I'm gay and most people assume I'm straight

How does it feel? Hmmm... I'm sure I've missed out on a lot of women over the years, but it's allowed me to move on in my job in a way that wouldn't have happened if I were known as The Village Dyke.

On the more amusing side of things, most people are coming to the conclusion that I'm asexual.

But then I also have the problem of over-persistant guys when I'm out. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but it can be quite irritating. If you're straight, just imagine how it would feel to have one gay person after another hitting on you

Hang on in there, Snoop - and just try to think of the positive things that come with a sexual drought, because there are always some, no matter how bad the situation is.

Scheherazade

 

[Liar]

To answer the original question:
Not at all. People may think what the devil they please.

One thing that is annoying though is that I sometimes seems to send another kind of signal. Ever so often, people, gay men as well as women (never straight men though), think I'm hitting on them when I'm in fact anything but. They either respond in favor or tell me to fuck off, both of which leads to quite awkward situations.

#L

 

[Liar]

The Village Dyke

Now there's a title for you when you reach 1000 posts.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Now there's a title for you when you reach 1000 posts.

I couldn't do that, because I won't be the only gay in the village

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I never really went through an awkward phase of the mistaken sexuality thing, but that was most likely because it usually happens to me in the standard "tough guy confrontation". This is where someone whose massively uncomfortable with his sexuality and is usally a total misogynistic moron as well decides that faggot is the perfect insult to send my way repeatedly.

Personally, I've always figured that whether as an insult or a misinterpretation, the best response is to take it as entertainment and decide for yourself whether to deny, stay quiet, or play into it as the situation demands.

There is great fun in using a homoerotic response on a homophobe, smiling through the confusion of someone genuinely thinking you the wrong sexuality, and whatnot if you know where to look.

 

[NoJo]

I'm always flattered if anyone is attracted to me, male or female. I've never been particularly sexually atracted to men, but I like the way a (certain class of) gay man talks; more able to discuss emotions and relationships than straight men.

I used to be very effeminate looking, and felt more comfortable among gay men than straight men. Also they were less competition for me when I would go out with them and try to score with women.

Over the last twenty years my testosterone level has increased steadily, to the point where I sometimes find that fem guys find me attractive, and take me for a butch gay.

But when I was a teenager, I used to worry about being gay. Strangely enough, my best buddy, a good-looking guy who'd had sex with women since he was fifteen, came out as a gay when he was twenty one. Poor fucker died of aids a few years ago. At the time he came out, nobody even knew what aids was.

 

[English Lady]

Well It wouldn't bother me I don't think if a lady hit on me, I mean it means they fancy me and be the person man or woman that's flattering right?

Anyhow, just a little tale as it's kinda relevent to this thread

It was a friend of mines Birthday and we went into Manchester clubbing. After several bars we went on to a club, well one of the guys wanted to see what the gay club was like, so he strolls in with not a problem and the birthday girl follows close behind. My good mate Kate and I get stopped by a Bouncer however and get told we look "Too Straight" and we'd probably be best not going into the club anyway. (I wasn't fussed, I was single and hoping to find a bloke that night *L*)

I was quite proud that I looked too straight but my slightly tipsy mate insisted on us trying to look like a lesbian couple *L* We ended up skipping up the streethand in hand.


Ok so really that goes a bit of topic *L* But as long as the person you fancy knows you fancy'em the rest just doesn't really matter

 

[Guest]

its my lisp isnt it?

 

[NoJo]

That and the tattoos.

 

[Guest]

That and the tattoos.

i should have known having
"I'm a lipstick lezzie" tattoo'd on my forehead would be a dead give away.

 

[Liar]

i should have known having
"I'm a lipstick lezzie" tattoo'd on my forehead would be a dead give away.

Well, you shouldn't have tatooed yourself in the mirror. This is what it reads like to the rest of us:

http://img157.exs.cx/img157/8837/lipstick3wz.gif

 

[Guest]

Well, you shouldn't have tatooed yourself in the mirror. This is what it reads like to the rest of us:

http://img157.exs.cx/img157/8837/lipstick3wz.gif

NOOOOOOOO!
i knew i should have waited until my roots grew in... im so fricken blonde.

 

[SensualCealy]

Snoop,

I learned along time ago, other peoples opinions dont matter.
Coming from a relatively poor household, being over weight, and growing up in the country left me to make things work for me.

Some on here know I am Bi, others that dont, havent spoke to me much or read my posts. Do I care, not really, I make ME happy, if I dont, why should I rely on someone else to do it for me?

In my opinion, if people think you are gay or bi, you have opportunity in both worlds to get who and what you want!

Best of luck to you TOP DOG!
C

 

[NoJo]

i should have known having
"I'm a lipstick lezzie" tattoo'd on my forehead would be a dead give away.

I'm calling you Lipstick Lizzy from now on.

 

[Guest]

I'm calling you Lipstick Lizzy from now on.

far more preferable than Dipstick Dizzy.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I could see where being thought of as gay could be a problem. If women think you're gay, they're going to cross you off their list as being unavailable. That would bother me.

Also, judging from the replies I guess I'm alone in this, but yes, it bothers me when people see me as something I'm not, whether it's gay or irresponsible or mean-spirited or whatever. Maybe it's my beard (which I've had forever) but I was always running into people who thought I was a hippy or troublemaker or things like that, and it was really annoying. Things are better now, but I remember what it felt like to be labeled one thing or another, and it's no fun.

---Zoot

 

[impressive]

There are, unfortunately, sometimes very damaging consequences to being perceived as gay. For some employers, the perception of homosexuality (especially in men) equates to the potential for AIDS -- and as such, discrimination may occur in hiring/promotion practices.

AIDS is considered a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act -- and the ADA carries protections for discrimination based on the PERCEPTION of disability in addition to actual disability. This extends also to family members of individuals with disabilities (or perceived disabilities).

So, in other words, if you are not hired/fired/demoted/mistreated based on the perception of a disability (either your own or a family member's), you may have recourse under the ADA. The standard of proof is high, though.



EDITED to clarify: This also includes HIV.

 

[ElizabethWest]

There are, unfortunately, sometimes very damaging consequences to being perceived as gay. For some employers, the perception of homosexuality (especially in men) equates to the potential for AIDS -- and as such, discrimination may occur in hiring/promotion practices.

AIDS is considered a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act -- and the ADA carries protections for discrimination based on the PERCEPTION of disability in addition to actual disability. This extends also to family members of individuals with disabilities (or perceived disabilities).

So, in other words, if you are not hired/fired/demoted/mistreated based on the perception of a disability (either your own or a family member's), you may have recourse under the ADA. The standard of proof is high, though.

It's also considered a form of harrassment if you are discriminated against in your job for your sexual orientation, not just the potential for disability. If you are passed over for promotion, made fun of, etc. because you are gay, there is legal action you can take.

 

[Boota]

I could see where being thought of as gay could be a problem. If women think you're gay, they're going to cross you off their list as being unavailable. That would bother me.

Also, judging from the replies I guess I'm alone in this, but yes, it bothers me when people see me as something I'm not, whether it's gay or irresponsible or mean-spirited or whatever. Maybe it's my beard (which I've had forever) but I was always running into people who thought I was a hippy or troublemaker or things like that, and it was really annoying. Things are better now, but I remember what it felt like to be labeled one thing or another, and it's no fun.

---Zoot

I think I would be bothered by people thinking I'm something that I'm not if it wasn't for that the fact that it happens ALL the time. Aside from my girlfriend, the people on Lit probably know the real me more than anyone else. My look is so far removed from who I am that no one gets it. They are often pleasantly surprised when they learn that I can converse beyond, "Mongo lift car!" It doesn't bother me when people get the wrong idea about me because I love the look on their faces when they realize exactly how wrong their pre-judgment had been.