Every situation and relationship varies significantly in an online dynamic. From my experience both parties need to be forthright with their expectations, level of commitment, and desires. Online D/S relationships take time to build a strong foundation of trust and can progress over time, voice and video chats, picture sharing, completing tasks and knowing that the submissive has pleased their Dom can be so gratifying. At the end of the day it seems like any kind of online relationship ends with one party either being pulled into real life challenges, the other one losing interest, or a slow diminish of communication. It can be hard to not form a connection and bond with the person you've entrusted with some of your deepest desires. One person tends to develop feelings or an emotional connection and that doesn't always end well. Especially if you're both looking to keep the relationship online.
Does BDSM on line work for you ?
- Thread starter grandprix1041
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sunshine_butterflyfairy
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I'm still new to this lifestyle and learning about it more and more through articles that I find online. Am I ready for a Dom yet, probably not. I'd like to know more about BDSM before finding the right partner for me and I'd like to be cautious, because I know trust is truly important.
RoperTrace
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Last edited:
demarcozs71
Virgin
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Not really, specially the hardcore stuff from Hungary - Graias, ElitePain, DrLomp etc. Proper BDSM should be enjoyable for sub - most of professional online porn is one-sided borderline (or over the line) abuse. You can see when a girl is paid to endure, instead of enjoying it.
Really sad - it is so difficult to find BDSM movies where both parties are willing and eager participants.
Really sad - it is so difficult to find BDSM movies where both parties are willing and eager participants.
Fermina_Daza
That’s not my name….
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When I was a young thing with no real life experience, online BDSM was thrilling. I wouldn’t even bother with it now though.
slutindianwife
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I want to try it online, but cant get anyone.
PM me, indian guy here
slutindianwife
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Sure, PM me your age, location, name and email id.
lady_jennaxx
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Well-stated. If both parties aren't crystal clear in terms of desires/expectations as well as what they're willing to put forth, the outcome is almost always unsatisfactory.
msub50some
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I've been doing some form of online D/s since the early 90s when AOL chatrooms were a thing. A few of those turned into real life encounters, nothing enduring, though. I had a somewhat enduring phone connection that grew out of AOL chat. That was fairly satisfying at times over a couple of years and got very intense at times. I also had a Skype based relationship with someone I met here on Lit. I've also connected with a few on Nitflirt that have been satisfying but, obviously, transactional.
I've generally found online/virtual D/s exciting for a time. I like the ability to connect with someone like-minded to explore my kinks and the control that the Dommes exert once we get to know each other. As someone else mentioned, I'm often amazed at what my online Domme can get me to do to myself.
I've found online difficult to maintain long-term. Real life tends to get in the way for both parties, making it difficult to connect on a regular basis. It also doesn't help that I need to keep my D/s kinks hidden from my wife.
I've generally found online/virtual D/s exciting for a time. I like the ability to connect with someone like-minded to explore my kinks and the control that the Dommes exert once we get to know each other. As someone else mentioned, I'm often amazed at what my online Domme can get me to do to myself.
I've found online difficult to maintain long-term. Real life tends to get in the way for both parties, making it difficult to connect on a regular basis. It also doesn't help that I need to keep my D/s kinks hidden from my wife.
slutindianwife
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No, hard to get the right guy.
msub50some
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Maybe if you could get the right guy hard.....
slutindianwife
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if he cant get hard himself, why will i be interested in the important fukhole?
DaddyforhisKitten
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This is so true of many online interactions. I don't know how many times I've been messaged from people wanting something. And I explicitly use the word something because their messages will be extremely short with no hint of what it is they're looking for.
Not sure how they expect to carry any sort of conversation, sexual or otherwise with 1-2 word responses.
jerryb1966
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Strictly online just does not seem to work for me. Tone of voice, hearing their voice, and having sexual sessions over voice can work.
L
Lady2020
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It used to, but it's hard to find someone who knows what they're doing and isn't a jackass. (Hope I'm not repeating myself).
msub50some
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I know some, I try not to be a jackass. I probably miss that mark more than I like to admit.
I enjoy online when I can click with the other Person. I suppose that's true of real life too, but I think online can exacerbate the differences.
Meduus
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it’s a fun addition when you can’t be together…
i’m play partners with someone who lives 300 km away… so we can’t be together every weekend or so…
we try to have a weekend a month together, but between that we talk online and having some play just takes the edge of missing eachother…
im a pretty visual thinker, so when he said what he would do to me I can see it and even kinda feel it…
that helps
i’m play partners with someone who lives 300 km away… so we can’t be together every weekend or so…
we try to have a weekend a month together, but between that we talk online and having some play just takes the edge of missing eachother…
im a pretty visual thinker, so when he said what he would do to me I can see it and even kinda feel it…
that helps
I
Ingenue844
Guest
As someone who never experienced the real thing, I was very surprised by how turned on the online role play made me. I definitely think it’s a good way to begin.
Wonderer67
Optimistic nihilist
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Had a few pretty good experiences online recently.
Neither lasted but was pretty fun while it was going on. I found it did take a fair amount of work.
Neither lasted but was pretty fun while it was going on. I found it did take a fair amount of work.
hardtaskmaster
Experienced
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It's quite a few years since I was last "playing" seriously online. I have had successful long term BDSM relationships online. Mostly just long term RP but I've had a handful where we kept the real life tasks going over several months. My partner whom I met back in the days of Yahoo roleplay chat also performed tasks for me and, despite the initial 3500 mile separation, eventually came to me and we're still together 20 years later.
I was thinking of getting back into detailed roleplay but looking in the chat rooms recently, although admittedly only briefly, I'm not sure there are many looking for the kind of detailed long term RP "relationship" I'd be interested in. Anyone have a more positive take on how Lit is for this, or maybe suggestions of other chat sites?
I was thinking of getting back into detailed roleplay but looking in the chat rooms recently, although admittedly only briefly, I'm not sure there are many looking for the kind of detailed long term RP "relationship" I'd be interested in. Anyone have a more positive take on how Lit is for this, or maybe suggestions of other chat sites?
LittleSwitchy
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I’m going to be devils advocate here.
If you want to start exploring and learning about bdsm. Online is a safe place to do so. There’s sites that you can go to that you can discuss bdsm with like minded people.
If you want a relationship. You are going to have to go off line at some point to do so. Cause tbh. This online so called bdsm relationships. Please… say you ask them to put on some clamps. You really think that they’re going to? Noooooo. You will get the … oooooh feels so good.
May as well get one off by yourself using your own mind/ fantasy.
That said. I’m sure I just pissed off a whole LOTTA people. There’s going to be someone… oh but me and him/ her have a great relationship.
Ok. Keep thinking that. If you haven’t met in person and felt them hugging you. TBH. All there is going on is mental masturbation.
If you want to start exploring and learning about bdsm. Online is a safe place to do so. There’s sites that you can go to that you can discuss bdsm with like minded people.
If you want a relationship. You are going to have to go off line at some point to do so. Cause tbh. This online so called bdsm relationships. Please… say you ask them to put on some clamps. You really think that they’re going to? Noooooo. You will get the … oooooh feels so good.
May as well get one off by yourself using your own mind/ fantasy.
That said. I’m sure I just pissed off a whole LOTTA people. There’s going to be someone… oh but me and him/ her have a great relationship.
Ok. Keep thinking that. If you haven’t met in person and felt them hugging you. TBH. All there is going on is mental masturbation.
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