Does BDSM on line work for you ?

[hardtaskmaster]

I largely agree. It's very easy to form apparently deep relationships extremely quickly online, because anonymity provides the perfect shield for revealing oneself, or perhaps an image of what one might wish to be. Having said that there's plenty to be said in favour of mental masturbation! I have had the strongest suspicions that some of the people I've played with online are not the sex they claim, but if they're good enough that was sometimes OK for me, at least for roleplay.
But from the two with whom I formed a deep enough relationship, pictures were offered to evidence that the tasks were being performed.

 

[Dearelliot]

No. I suppose if it was on cam, with some things mailed for playing, maybe I could see trying, but price wise you get a full contact hour for $200 generally speaking, not sure what I'd pay for Femdom by cam instead.

 

[Somethingdifferent74]

Can you really get turned on with online D or S ?

To answer the question of the thread "Does BDSM online work for you?"

At one time it had for many years, now I'm not sure sure. I've been pondering over this the last few weeks. Still no solid answers.

Now for the OP's question (above).

"Can you really turned on with online D or s?"

Yes, that answer is a definite yes.

 

[wallstreetguy]

Yes, it definitely works for me.
The only thing I do not like is when a woman says it was "too intense" or she immediately has feelings and wants to cut things off before they begin. This is almost always after the first, second or third session.
If we were in person, we could talk it out. But online, the Dear John letter(s) are brief and usually permanent.

 

[Tallcajun]

Yes, it definitely works for me.
The only thing I do not like is when a woman says it was "too intense" or she immediately has feelings and wants to cut things off before they begin. This is almost always after the first, second or third session.
If we were in person, we could talk it out. But online, the Dear John letter(s) are brief and usually permanent.

Sometimes, I don’t even get the dear John letter.
Usually they disappear after a good while. Maybe that’s a reflection on my limited ability as an online dom.

Nonetheless, there are a few I do miss.

 

[Blase]

Online was my introduction to D/s. I first came here just to read stories, but pretty quickly wound up chatting with a girl who had some lovely submissive tendencies, and the idea of her obeying me seemed to crystalize simultaneously in both of our minds.

Since then, there have been others, each of them quite special in their way.

As to the common objection that online is "just a roleplay", I say that's only true if you let it be. I tell any girl who shows interest that, while I will talk to anyone, I will only play with girls who are willing to go at least to the level of voice or pics, and there will be no question that instructions are being obeyed and assignments done. For real.

If I want an SRP, there's a board for that.

 

[My_marie]

For me online is just for chatting about past experiences and talking about what’s next. If u are the same please message me.

I agree with you on that. I guess I’m old school but being in the lifestyle for many many years I find it hard to have a bdsm relationship online but I do know friendships are made easier but I would have to take it offline before I could commit as needed.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

As someone who was in an online relationship, I can tell you that it can be fun ( relatively speaking) but, finding that person who is really GOOD at it.. is extremely rare. I was very lucky - it was my introduction to the lifestyle, we met in a chat room. He was married, I was involved with someone (both partners not into it). It was all new to me, aside from reading books and some on line stuff.. and he really truly taught me so much. It wasn't roleplaying, or cybersex.. he brought me along inch by inch, made me really discover what I enjoyed and what I didn't..
For me, the psychological aspect of the lifestyle has always been a major driver for me, more than the physical. He taught me how to give up control and allow someone to direct me to be the best person I could be. He truly changed me, for the better, and he instilled some disciplines in me that to this day, I still have.. although I do stray more times than not lately. LOL.

To each his/her own, right? But for me, at that point in my life, it was perfect. But, for the most part, people on line are NOT like that.

You read my mind. I wonder if we had the same Master.
My Master rescued me from the lowest time in my life.
He taught me the difference between submission and having your power taken away.
He gave me tasks, and I was rewarded or disciplined. Putting me in a relationship where I had choices and where I was in control of who controlled me.
If I was nervous or upset about an upcoming event, he would instruct me to wear a choker or plug. I could always redirect my anxiety to a place of safety, where being spanked was a reward for good behavior.
2 years later, he is my best friend, a man I love in my soul, and a man who can still make me cum on demand.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

I've had a number of online BDSm fantasy encounters, and while some of them have been less than arousing, I'd have to say most have been hot, thought-provoking, and left me aroused thinking about them. Certainly not as good as RL, but on the other hand I can explore more extreme scenarios (I'm an S/M switch) without risking any lasting injury to myself or a partner.

 

[ExpRider]

Can you really get turned on with online D or S ?

Yes. I've had two (Literotica-spawned) online BDSM relationships. They were based mostly on control and were incredibly intense. Both lasted for many months.

 

[traill]

It can definitely work although certain types of play are rather difficult if not impossible to do. That said, it really requires an investment in communication just like BDSM in real-life. Trust and intimacy is important in that context. Submitting to a random person online does absolutely nothing to me, but once a connection is established it can be just as good and intense.

 

[quicksylver69]

Not really, I find it kind of lacklustre and doesn’t have the effect of an in person scene. Text does not have the same force behind it as spoken word imo, especially with the associated body language etc.

 

[seekingAlpha]

In my opinion, when first interacting with a prospective sub the online experience is a great way to determine compatibility and chemistry as well as build a level of comfort and familiarity. If you cannot get along online then there is no way you will get along in person. Online can serve as a way to establish a new BDSM relationship as well as bridge the gap in between meetings if it is a long distance scenario.

 

[Daddy1111976]

Well I have had some amazing d/s relationships that were long term and mutually enriching. The dynamics need to be carried over even outside the bdsm scene. That's when the real bonding takes place and also the prolonged fun of it all.

 

[IrisAlthea]

If you cannot get along online then there is no way you will get along in person.

I have had several IRL partners and friends that I would never have chosen based on their online behaviour.
There are also several people I find interesting and entertaining online but want to kick in the shins when I have to be around them IRL.

 

[wisman50]

To be honest, yes and no. I like many others am married. We could get into a long discussion about the moral ethics of "fooling around" with someone online, but that is not the point of the question. I've had a couple very successful interactions and each was different based on the needs of the submissive. Taking time to understand one another is the key, and perhaps with my older (not really wiser) age, I am not in a great hurry to make a commitment. Finding an online interest and limit sheet is important to share, but many don't want to take the time to fill it out. Occasionally, some drop off the face of the earth before getting involved. Most that aren't a good fit, let me know, and we move on.

Anyhow, to make a long story short, it works for me. I remain "faithful" at least in my own eyes, and not to sound like a jerk, don't really care what others think.

 

[colorfulnayyy]

I’ve never had an in person d/s relationship…but I’ve always want to and thought it would take me to another level sexually. But yeah I guess the internet can be cool, I can drop of the face of the earth in a heartbeat if I wanted.

 

[Keloid57]

In my personal experience I would say that yes it can work, I have now had Three instances since I've started exploring my submissiveness in the past two years where I can see that it does.

Someone on here said that like any relationship, you get back what you put in and that's exactly it. I won't lie, I have had cheap imitations of Dominance, and on the reverse gave cheap imitations of submission; sexually focused and shallow interactions that like to dress up in the clothes of a Dom and his sub. I'll even say that these facades have helped me understand myself more and what it is that I want and need and what I want to give and have taken. However I've grown and I know I need to be honest with myself and anyone I talk to, open to possibilities, laying myself bare and seeing where it could go. I'm much better at this now though, it's easier to spot the sheep in Wolf's clothing.

I find that in real life it's hard to find someone that wants to control me to the degree I would like. Let alone in a way that incites trust, passion, curiosity, joy and love.
How do you meet someone IRL and suss out if they want to decide if I may use the bathroom when I ask, or if they want to help me work up, at the pace I need (not want), to beautiful deep bruising on my skin. What questions do you ask to figure out that if I give this person all of me, will they hold and cherish and use and abuse and push my boundaries in a way to encourage growth? How. How do you even do that. I spent 10 years in a vanilla relationship, and don't get me wrong he was lovely and I loved him with all my heart, however I won't ever be in that place again. Feeling so loved and seen while at the same time actively feeling a part of me shrivel and dry into a hard, dusty little lump. I won't ever tell myself that It doesn't matter, I won't ever let such a big part of me waste away like that again.


Talking to someone recently, one of The Three actually, he told me that it's rare for two people who like the things we do to find each other. I teared up at this. At the fact that here I was with someone, out of pure chance by the way, who made me feel things that I have never ever felt, who made me want to Let Go and give him everything that I am. Knowing that people do actually exist in the world that can make me feel like that is exhilarating.
I also teared up at the fact of how terrifying it is to know that there is a very real possibility that I wouldn't find that person that would so fully understand me at every level, in a way that I might not fully understand myself and that will want me, need me, crave me just as much as I do them. That I may not find My Dom to spend my life with.

This man, the most recent of The Three taught me that you have to jump in. That the very essence of the dynamic I want is trust and for me to find that I need to learn how to give it. You get back what you put in afterall.

Some people say it's too much, the search.
Is that not what we should do as humans though? Constantly trying to better ourselves, grow, change and experience? This journey, albeit short, has filled me with so much emotion that I know it's a path I should be on. I know that only something that fills you with excitement, need, lust, happiness, inspiration, serenity, hope, frustration, anger, fear, disappointment and heartbreak, is something worth seeing through.

I am a patient, strong girl, and I'll continue to search for My Dom, I just hope He is still looking as well.

 

[Diosax]

Online is a safe place to try things out especially if you're new to it. Gives a space to explore new things without much interference to life while you figure things out. I agree that you get what you put into it and finding a good match is hard.

 

[traill]

Online is a safe place to try things out especially if you're new to it. Gives a space to explore new things without much interference to life while you figure things out. I agree that you get what you put into it and finding a good match is hard.

The one problem there is that there are so many Dom/mes that don't respect safety and you're actually alone when playing online which can be a huge safety issue for some types of play. To be fair, it also opens up other types of play that are very interesting as well.

I love online play, but it really requires a lot of trust and work. Finding the right person that will guide you properly and lovingly (even when it's very painful) is rather difficult. It's so worth it though!

 

[Darkweather]

In answer to the original question, can you really get turned on with online D or s, I would say yes, definitely.

I believe, though, that you would have to be inclined towards that way offline to get the most out of it online. If you aren't into the lifestyle I would expect anything online would leave you cold.

Like rl relationships, you get out of it what you out into it and managing expectations at the start is essential.
I am speaking from experience and have had an online D/s relationship that lasted several years - through that time as well as intense sexual experiences with my sub, I was also there to guide, teach and support her. I set her routines, tasks and goals and she was dedicated to pleasing me. I saw her flourish from a hesitant, undisciplined and frustrated women to a confident, calm and dedicated submissive.

Casual online role play can go either way, but it is possible to have enriching experiences in online relationships without ever actually meeting in real life.

 

[sweettalk4u]

In answer to the original question, can you really get turned on with online D or s, I would say yes, definitely.

I believe, though, that you would have to be inclined towards that way offline to get the most out of it online. If you aren't into the lifestyle I would expect anything online would leave you cold.

Like rl relationships, you get out of it what you out into it and managing expectations at the start is essential.
I am speaking from experience and have had an online D/s relationship that lasted several years - through that time as well as intense sexual experiences with my sub, I was also there to guide, teach and support her. I set her routines, tasks and goals and she was dedicated to pleasing me. I saw her flourish from a hesitant, undisciplined and frustrated women to a confident, calm and dedicated submissive.

Casual online role play can go either way, but it is possible to have enriching experiences in online relationships without ever actually meeting in real life.

You get out of it what you put into it

 

[FireClownie]

Having done it l found that as a sub it depends on how "good" and unselfish the Dom is so whether he puts his pleasure needs first constantly. It needs a lot of mutual communication.

 

[sweettalk4u]

Having done it l found that as a sub it depends on how "good" and unselfish the Dom is so whether he puts his pleasure needs first constantly. It needs a lot of mutual communication.

The Dom must be knowledgeable and responsible. He must understand that giving you what you need to grow in your submission to him will reward him many times over