Down the rabbit hole

[peekingone]

So sorry to hear this. Life is tough at times for sure. What a wonderful man you are to write and share this. May your wife now rest in peace without pain. She is looking over you all and knows that you can do it and will do it.
Prayers to you and your entire family to get past this difficult moment and Keep her in your memories forever.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I normally say we don't deserve anything. But you deserve some of this

https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y...ZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/j0QzDgFZRX2njRxxtP/giphy.gif

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I normally say we don't deserve anything. But you deserve some of this

https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y...ZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/j0QzDgFZRX2njRxxtP/giphy.gif

....and i still don't know how to post a gif.

 

[jenn89]

So very sorry for your loss.

 

[jason28053]

I’m so sorry to read this. I’m glad to hear that your lit friends give you comfort though. Do what’s best for you always and my sincere condolences.

 

[cheekygirl75]

I've gone back and forth on posting something about my life recently and decided this might be the best way. We found out my wife had cancer in summer of 2023. It has been a nightmare the past 3 years. I think one of the hardest things as her husband and care giver was the relentless cycle of hope and depressing news. Brutal chemo for 4 months, watching her fight through it, grace and determination day in a day out, an 11 hour surgery. More months of chemo. Then pain starting again, debilitating life altering pain. Months of trying to find out why it was happening. Then the news that it had metastasized, followed by more chemo. That worked in some areas but not all. The elevation to "take any of this stuff that might help slow it down" chemo.

The past month involved two hospital stays along with her getting to go to our son's college graduation. Last week we came home and that was about it. She died during the witching hour of Saturday to Sunday. I am so relieved that she is no longer in pain. There are some things for which the end is the only hope of peace.

Which is fitting, since she was a good witch. Helping people her whole life and truly wanting the best for people she knew.

Thank you to all of you who have reached out to support me, listened to me scream and cry and most importantly made me laugh and take a break. My circle of people offline had gotten very small during covid and then even smaller during the cancer trail. My friends on lit, you have made me smile, laugh and take a step away from some really dark times. The boobs have been great too.




So I suppose this will be a bit of diarist thread. Whatever I'm thinking about, plans, probably some links which @Endless_Night won't ever click on, and links which I'll shamelessly steal from @PrettyLilPussy19.

Oh, big hugs @Apisto42 I'm so sorry for your loss... although you are glad she's no longer in pain, that doesn't stop your pain from missing her.

 

[Apisto42]

There are still so many people to contact. I suppose some of them I can just text since it’s been the main form of communication over the years, but that seems so cold.

On the other hand, I’m getting really burned out saying the same words over and over.

 

[Apisto42]

 

[morelikeasong]

There are still so many people to contact. I suppose some of them I can just text since it’s been the main form of communication over the years, but that seems so cold.

On the other hand, I’m getting really burned out saying the same words over and over.

I think text is fine. Just say you’re sorry to send via text but it’s hard to say it over and over and you hope they understand. They will (and if they don’t, oh well).

 

[Mrtenant]

In deepest sympathy for you, for her, and all your people. Brother, those are some hard memories. I know you'll find and cherish the good memories as well. Huggggggs.

 

[Apisto42]

Have to pick out her last outfit. For my son to see her one more time.

Jesus. This is hard.

 

[Apisto42]

Just dropped it off at the funeral home. I’d like to skip tomorrow and just go to Friday please and thank you if that’s not too much trouble.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Just dropped it off at the funeral home. I’d like to skip tomorrow and just go to Friday please and thank you if that’s not too much trouble.

This was the hardest part for me. No clue why it was that moment but.... yeah, im not a cute crier.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

So sorry for your loss @Apisto42. I can only echo the sentiments shared already but offer deepest condolences.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

Just dropped it off at the funeral home. I’d like to skip tomorrow and just go to Friday please and thank you if that’s not too much trouble.

I hope tomorrow goes by easier than you are anticipating and that the weekend brings you the peace you and your son need.

 

[humanmale]

 

[Apisto42]

 

[Apisto42]

Being a full time caregiver, and setting up all the doctor visits and communications, file transfers, and all the prescriptions for over three years and then suddenly stopping, is a jarring experience. It’s being on call 24/7 knowing there’s always something to do.

I find myself anxious that I’m not doing something and have to remind myself that it’s okay. There’s plenty of other shit that needs doing, just not what I was doing.

That’s going to take a bit I think.

 

[Luv2LickSweets]

Being a full time caregiver, and setting up all the doctor visits and communications, file transfers, and all the prescriptions for over three years and then suddenly stopping, is a jarring experience. It’s being on call 24/7 knowing there’s always something to do.

I find myself anxious that I’m not doing something and have to remind myself that it’s okay. There’s plenty of other shit that needs doing, just not what I was doing.

That’s going to take a bit I think.

I completely understand what you are saying and how you feel.

You are correct. It is okay to not be doing something. You need some time for yourself to heal. You need to be there for your son. Those are the important aspects now and it will take some time, but you will adjust.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

I've gone back and forth on posting something about my life recently and decided this might be the best way. We found out my wife had cancer in summer of 2023. It has been a nightmare the past 3 years. I think one of the hardest things as her husband and care giver was the relentless cycle of hope and depressing news. Brutal chemo for 4 months, watching her fight through it, grace and determination day in a day out, an 11 hour surgery. More months of chemo. Then pain starting again, debilitating life altering pain. Months of trying to find out why it was happening. Then the news that it had metastasized, followed by more chemo. That worked in some areas but not all. The elevation to "take any of this stuff that might help slow it down" chemo.

The past month involved two hospital stays along with her getting to go to our son's college graduation. Last week we came home and that was about it. She died during the witching hour of Saturday to Sunday. I am so relieved that she is no longer in pain. There are some things for which the end is the only hope of peace.

Which is fitting, since she was a good witch. Helping people her whole life and truly wanting the best for people she knew.

Thank you to all of you who have reached out to support me, listened to me scream and cry and most importantly made me laugh and take a break. My circle of people offline had gotten very small during covid and then even smaller during the cancer trail. My friends on lit, you have made me smile, laugh and take a step away from some really dark times. The boobs have been great too.




So I suppose this will be a bit of diarist thread. Whatever I'm thinking about, plans, probably some links which @Endless_Night won't ever click on, and links which I'll shamelessly steal from @PrettyLilPussy19.

Sending you thoughts of healing and strength at this time of great loss and transition. I only know you from your posts, but I am sure that you will be a great comfort and support to your son, both now and throughout his life. Just as you were for your wife.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

Being a full time caregiver, and setting up all the doctor visits and communications, file transfers, and all the prescriptions for over three years and then suddenly stopping, is a jarring experience. It’s being on call 24/7 knowing there’s always something to do.

I find myself anxious that I’m not doing something and have to remind myself that it’s okay. There’s plenty of other shit that needs doing, just not what I was doing.

That’s going to take a bit I think.

Is there any possibility for you and your son to take an overnight trip somewhere? A change of scenery, a change of pace together.

 

[Apisto42]

Is there any possibility for you and your son to take an overnight trip somewhere? A change of scenery, a change of pace together.

Yeah, we’ve been talking about it. He’s got one last lab to take for one of his majors that he couldn’t fit in during his last semester, but it’s only t-w-th so we could totally go somewhere for the weekend.

But this week was too soon. I’m thinking after she comes home next week.

 

[MissSNG]

Thinking of you today.
Take everything one moment at a time and know it’s okay to not be ok

 

[Apisto42]

The sun is shining today after 8 days of rain. Did a little weeding of the garden.

And this feels strange and uncomfortable. Switched ring to the right hand yesterday.

 

[humanmale]