Endless Curiosity II

[Azuldrgon]

I generally will flirt with a lady who is in a Lit couplet when she is okay with it. In general though, if it were to get deeper, boundaries would need to get established.....


This isn't common knowledge, but one liaison like that led to my Lit hiatus. The person, who's no longer on here, went past a boundary a few times. I broke it off and it still was so bad that I left Lit. It still haunts me and is one reason why I am very private on certain things. My hearts been broken a few times, but like all wounds it heals over time.

 

[curvyangel1969]

Publicly I'll flirt with anyone. Man, woman or couple. Their status doesn't have too much pull as it's for everyone to see and if they are taken on Lit or both parties are on lit I talk to both of them and would hope that they know it's intended as innocent flirtations. Plus I rarely take any flirtations off the threads. I feel most people know it's just for 'show' and they are doing the same thing.

 

[Endless_Night]

This would be easier to answer if I ever had any idea who was a Lit couple!

For me it's not really about relationship status. I am not a natural flirter. As a result I probably take Lit flirting more serious than most. It's difficult for me to differentiate between what is serious and what is not.

Lit has stretched my abilities, but I am still slow to engage. I never initiate, and only reciprocate if I know the party well enough to be sure they aren't serious. Lit is flirt central, so that can be something of a challenge. Once I know you I will flirt. Some.

Though I am still terrible at it!

Hmmm. I will say that if someone started flirting with me that I knew was one half of a Lit couple it would make me pretty uncomfortable. Unless I knew them well.

 

[ViciousTease]

... Though I am still terrible at it! ...

I volunteer to be your guinea pig. Flirt with me all you want.

And for those that need the question in written form:

Does knowing someone's Lit couple status affect whether or how you flirt with them? Is public flirting on the threads just flirting, or is it cause for jealousy by a Lit partner? Where do you draw the lines for flirting, both giving and receiving?




.

 

[beachbaby179]

I suck at flirting. So I don't do it a lot on the boards, unless I know the person fairly well. It's all in good fun. With the couples, not so much. Especially if I don't know how the other half will react. I got a nasty "stay away" pm once and I don't want to get another.

 

[lowphat]

this came out wrong

 

[ViciousTease]

I suck at flirting. So I don't do it a lot on the boards, unless I know the person fairly well. It's all in good fun. With the couples, not so much. Especially if I don't know how the other half will react. I got a nasty "stay away" pm once and I don't want to get another.

I've actually sent a few PM's to men that I flirted with before realizing they were involved with someone here. I just ask if the flirting bothers his SO and if so, I stop. If it doesn't bother her, I usually start flirting with her too.

 

[Lunation]

Today, I decided to voice the question.

Question of the day

For those of you that can't or prefer not to listen to audio clips, I'll type the question later this morning when I have a proper keyboard.

I'm sort of flirt-deficient. Not really my thing.

I like posting long, detailed sexual descriptions though? But I'm told that's inappropriate to be considered light banter. Who knew? *shrug*


Also! Great voice.

 

[ViciousTease]

I'm sort of flirt-deficient. Not really my thing.

I like posting long, detailed sexual descriptions though? But I'm told that's inappropriate to be considered light banter. Who knew? *shrug*


Also! Great voice.

PSA: The management endorses and encourages any and all long, detailed sexual descriptions. Naysayers will be bound and flogged, as needed.

And thanks!

 

[emsway]

I rarely initiate flirting, and if someone starts flirting with me, I assume that it's okay to do so. I admit that I will purposely keep the interaction non-flirtatious (and my default, goofy) if I suspect that they are involved with someone else. I'm respectful like that.

 

[UnchainedWordist]

I used to be a big flirt, but I never approached a woman who I knew was in a reLITionship. Now Im not a big flirt, and rarely approach anyone. I'm not that good at it anyway.

And VT has great boobage!!
EN too.

Them together? Oh goodness....

 

[UnchainedWordist]

I rarely initiate flirting, and if someone starts flirting with me I assume that it's okay to do so. I admit that I will purposely keep the interaction light (and my default, goofy) if I suspect that they are involved with someone else. I'm respectful like that.

Morning, Em!

 

[emsway]

Morning, Em!

Good morning!

 

[UnchainedWordist]

Good morning!

Up for any goofy flirting today?

 

[Endless_Night]

I volunteer to be your guinea pig. Flirt with me all you want. >

Flirt enabler.

See? Weak flirt attempt.

< And VT has great boobage!!
EN too.

Them together? Oh goodness....

Yes. Yes. VT does have great boobage!

Slightly better flirt attempt.

 

[ViciousTease]

Flirt enabler.

See? Weak flirt attempt.



Yes. Yes. VT does have great boobage!

Slightly better flirt attempt.

You're better at this than you think.

 

[UnchainedWordist]

You're better at this than you think.

She really is....

 

[Endless_Night]

Can I just say I'm still disappointed that we stopped talking about Maine?

I would be on board for a Maine trip, beachbaby. My only caveat is a need for advance planning. My plate is full, and likely to be for some time. I'd need a good six month lead time.

I suck at flirting. So I don't do it a lot on the boards, unless I know the person fairly well. It's all in good fun. With the couples, not so much. Especially if I don't know how the other half will react. I got a nasty "stay away" pm once and I don't want to get another.

Wow. This sort of thing always takes me aback. It seems wildly inappropriate. If you have an issue issue with ‘flirt’ levels, to the point where you are in acute discomfort, surely it’s your partner you should be having a conversation with rather than the flirter.

It calls to mind a couple of friends over the years. Who, when they discovered their spouse in an affair, squarely placed all blame on the other party. A person they barely knew (if at all) and who owed them no allegiance. While the spouse (the person who promised monogamy) was but an innocent victim of circumstance.



So bizarre.

SO BIZARRE

SO BIZARRE

 

[Endless_Night]

You're better at this than you think.

She really is....

Too kind, too kind.

You only say that because you're my friends.

 

[Xerxes82]

Flirting on Lit is fun. I'm not doing it to approach or to come between any couple or anything. It's just the kind of silly, light thing I find myself enjoying. It doesn't necessarily have any real meaning.

I like to think, and I could be hopelessly wrong, that the very tiny number of people I've wanted to flirt with for purpose have known that it was different with them. Especially because it isn't going to mean anything for me after one post, or one exchange. I'm just not wired that way. If I'm at all seriously interested in you, I'm hoping to make some kind of connection of interests, or find something in common first. Then flirting becomes a way of seeing if your interest in me mirrors mine in you, sometimes.

Relationship status has never really bothered me. I kind of go by the rule that if somebody is feeling uncomfy with something, they will alert me, and I can change my behavior as needed. You can't reset your natural habits for every new encounter, and hell, I feel like I'm barely learning to be myself as it is!

Even in real life, where I'm about as shy and social awkward as can be, once the ice breaks I'm pretty much shameless. I think a lot of it, for me, has to do with feeling safe. It's really, really rare that I worry that a woman is going to read into my flirting and think I'm pursuing her. Partly that's self-deprecating, as is much of my humor. Partly that's just knowing that it's really, really rare that women are interested in me in that way. Call it being friend-zoned or whatever. But it makes flirting, harmlessly and just for fun, so easy and rewarding.

 

[UnchainedWordist]

Too kind, too kind.

You only say that because you're my friends.

Well....I day that because your legs also look damn good in heels. And I gave you a theme song once.

 

[MessierObject]

I am a big flirt on the boards. It's a fun outlet for me that I don't get to do in real life, plus I consider it kind of a safe space to do so. I make a conscious effort to not go too far when I do so and keep it fun and light.

As to the actual question, I'm oblivious to any relationships and flirt with everyone equally. If I knew they were in a relationship I would be more hesitant to flirt unless they did first, and to keep it extra light so to speak. If the person doesn't respond in kind or doesn't seem to be feeling my attempts at flirty banter I back off. I don't ever want to be "that guy". I've never been told to back off, but if I were I would. It's all about respecting each other.

When all else fails I default to Will Wheaton's first rule of gaming: "Don't be a dick"

 

[ydahecnot]

I have knowingly had temporary things with the female halves of a couple of Lit couples. In one case, it was a bit of nice fun where the other guy wasn't mentioned. In the other case, she was looking for something a little different from her guy. I'm the last person to know anything, so there may have been other times. In any case, it's not one's job to be someone else's conscience. I just want nice convos of various natures in which I am not always the one starting the convo (that is a question for another day, I reckon)

 

[Endless_Night]

Well....I day that because your legs also look damn good in heels. And I gave you a theme song once.

Why, thank you! You are such an appreciative fellow.

< I'm respectful like that.

< It's all about respecting each other.

When all else fails I default to Will Wheaton's first rule of gaming: "Don't be a dick"

I think these two quotes really sum up the Lit couple situation. It's about what the parties involved feel comfortable with, and respecting those boundaries.

Applies to general flirtation as well. Respect is never a bad thing.

 

[Endless_Night]

I have knowingly had temporary things with the female halves of a couple of Lit couples. In one case, it was a bit of nice fun where the other guy wasn't mentioned. In the other case, she was looking for something a little different from her guy. I'm the last person to know anything, so there may have been other times. In any case, it's not one's job to be someone else's conscience. I just want nice convos of various natures in which I am not always the one starting the convo (that is a question for another day, I reckon)

Interesting. So...this presumes it wasn't a Lit couple who played exclusively? Or does the question simply not arise?