Endless Curiosity

[Trekka]

I don't just hand out pics of that thing willy-nilly. Almost nobody gets to see the mark

*Almost* being the key word in that sentence?

 

[ViciousTease]

Big or small, what made your day this last week?

 

[makemewet69]

Big or small, what made your day this last week?

An impromptu visit to see CJ. Our time together is minimal and means a great deal to me. We had a great time!

 

[Trekka]

Big or small, what made your day this last week?

My kiddo sent me her first ever email (she's 6)

 

[SMNaughtywife]

What? Both of you?!? I don't just hand out pics of that thing willy-nilly. Almost nobody gets to see the mark

*Almost* being the key word in that sentence?

Oh you know exhibitionist is running through his mind right now!


What made my week: I'm pretty proud of keeping my shit together with a teenager and the shit he was/did plan, scheme and got caught with. I'm usually pretty calm, but never this calm. Oh boy does it freak them out.

 

[Trekka]

Oh you know exhibitionist is running through his mind right now!


What made my week: I'm pretty proud of keeping my shit together with a teenager and the shit he was/did plan, scheme and got caught with. I'm usually pretty calm, but never this calm. Oh boy does it freak them out.

Me? Default? Exhibitionists? Naaaah...

lol--good job mama--my Dad goes, what my brothers and I like to call, "dead calm." We always knew we were in real deep shit when he went dead calm. Way more effective than histrionics. Not easy though...

 

[Endless_Night]

Big or small, what made your day this last week?

Mine’s also child related, though not my child. A relative’s toddler coming up close to my face, staring intently, perfectly expressionless. Just when I was starting to get a little weirded out, his face lit in a huge smile and he reached out one little hand to gently pat my cheek.

So adorable!

 

[Endless_Night]

Thank you.

Wait....wait a minute, mister. You can't distract me with flattery. Where's the schlong?

Jenny sighting!!!

Errr................I feel like I might have missed part of the conversation. LOL!

 

[default24]

Me? Default? Exhibitionists? Naaaah...

I have no idea what that word even means...

 

[ViciousTease]

Defining moments. We all have them, large ones, small ones, some recognized in the moment, some only clear in hindsight. What is one of your defining moments?

 

[pvt_addiction]

Defining moments. We all have them, large ones, small ones, some recognized in the moment, some only clear in hindsight. What is one of your defining moments?

One of the biggest defining moments in my life has been starting my current job. It was my first full time job, I moved away from family and friends, it's challenged me to be stronger both physically and mentally, and has influenced my thoughts views on a variety of issues.

 

[Endless_Night]

Running away from home at sixteen. There’ve been several others, of course, but that one set the stage for so many future life events, some good, some bad, but still the best decision I ever made.

 

[Mindfondler]

Defining moments. We all have them, large ones, small ones, some recognized in the moment, some only clear in hindsight. What is one of your defining moments?

One that became clear to me only in long hindsight was an early sexual experience.

I was onto a good thing and, in my adolescent head, my mates were all cheering me on. I was on a second date with a girl. We had just been out for a great meal together, had held hands as we walked together, and I had driven her back home. She had invited me in for a coffee, and there was no sign of her wanting to go to the kitchen. She wanted to kiss. I was in!

The problem was that I realised that I wasn't really attracted to her. It wasn't a physical issue — she looked gorgeous — but rather that I didn't feel that I connected on any meaningful level with her, and that mattered to me. Incredibly, it seemed that she wanted me more than I wanted her.

I could easily have carried on and scored some easy sex. That was the most straightforward option for me to take. Yet, instead, I apologised to her, told her that it didn't feel right to me, and quickly made my escape.

For many dry years afterwards, I was cursing myself about that "missed opportunity". I told myself that I was hung up, that I must have been afraid of not being able to perform, and that I had hurt that poor girl badly by not giving her what she wanted. It wasn't any of those things, though. It gradually dawned on me that I had simply done what was right for me by my own standards. Okay — my exit hadn't been very graceful, but the girl would have got over that temporary setback, probably far better than if I had a meaningless liaison with her and then dumped her.

It may have taken many years, but it eventually occurred to me that this had been a defining moment for me in which I had been true to myself, and that nobody could criticise me for that. That made me stronger in the face of perceived peer pressure and directives from others about what I "should" do.

P.S. I ought to add that I don't have any moral issues with casual NSA sex. It's just not right for me.
.

 

[ydahecnot]

In the strictest sense: when my condom didn't work that night. In a different sense: getting the job I have now. It was validation, and decent pay at last.

 

[Endless_Night]

MF, That is beautifully defined.

I've had a similar realization, though, for me, it's less about the meaningful connection than they type of sex delivered. My primal/prey (whatever ) interest is almost to the level of a fetish. It doesn't matter how attractive I find my partner, or how emotionally/mentally compatible we are if there isn't a sexual compatibility. If the latter isn't there the sex rapidly becomes uninteresting.

Where I really run into trouble is that want all three aspects: physical, mental, and sexual! Yeah, I'm greedy.

But, at least these days I know it's okay for me to have my preferences.

 

[Suz_anne]

One that I think about from time to time Is my choice of where I attended university. I had the opportunity to go to a school on the east coast but chose to stay in my home state instead. There were many reasons why - the primary one being tuition cost.

I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had made a different choice.

 

[pvt_addiction]

One that I think about from time to time Is my choice of where I attended university. I had the opportunity to go to a school on the east coast but chose to stay in my home state instead. There were many reasons why - the primary one being tuition cost.

I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had made a different choice.

I often think of this as well. I chose to stay close to home mainly because of an opportunity to coach and I thought that is part of what I'd be doing after college.

I do wonder what path I would have traveled if I attended somewhere else. What experiences I would have had? Who would I have met? What career would I have chosen?

 

[Endless_Night]

One that I think about from time to time Is my choice of where I attended university. I had the opportunity to go to a school on the east coast but chose to stay in my home state instead. There were many reasons why - the primary one being tuition cost.

I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had made a different choice.

Oooh! I have one like this, too. I was offered a place at a very prestigious private institution to do my graduate work. Instead I accepted a place at a lesser school. For whatever reason, I just didn't feel I was good enough in my field to compete at the higher level.

I often wonder how things would have gone if I'd made a different decision.

 

[Mindfondler]

Oooh! I have one like this, too. I was offered a place at a very prestigious private institution to do my graduate work. Instead I accepted a place at a lesser school. For whatever reason, I just didn't feel I was good enough in my field to compete at the higher level.

I often wonder how things would have gone if I'd made a different decision.

Oooh... I did exactly the opposite! I accepted an offer at a prestige university because I was dazzled by its name and kudos. I did well there, but I felt like a fish out of water amongst a lot of smug and entitled a**holes, and I was rarely happy during my three year stay.

I often wonder what would have happened if I had taken the bolder decision to choose instead the lesser (though still high class) university where I had felt instantly comfortable.

Lesson learnt: always go with the heart!
.

 

[beachbaby179]

I had that decision made for me. I was only 16 when I graduated from high school. Despite several full rides offered, my dad thought I was too young to go away. I stayed local, which set many things into motion that have made my life very different. Better? Worse? I'll never know.

 

[numeniusa]

It's an awfully long way back, but...

Choosing a university course with a year in industry, rare as hen's teeth in my chosen subject. That 'year out' working led me to a specialisation, which led to an unexpected job offer, which led to new opportunities, a marriage, a move to a part of the country I was meant to be all along

It feels like practically everything about where I am now stemmed from making that choice.

 

[ViciousTease]

My grandmother is not a good person. My grandfather was worse. My brother and I suffered their verbal and emotional abuse throughout our childhood. We internalized so much of it, believing the ugliness. We didn't talk back, didn't react. We respected our elders as we were raised to do. As an adult, I had identified most of the wounds. I treated those that could be treated, camouflaged the ones too long scarred over. I thought I had learned to love myself, despite their best efforts to convince me I didn't deserve it.

Then that bitch said something mean to one of my children. We were on my back patio, watching the children play and she said something to my daughter that she'd said to me so many times over the years. Something inside me snapped. I know that child better than anyone and what she said was a bold face lie. In that moment I realized that everything she'd said was a lie. I tended the wound to my child right there in front of her, making sure she could see the lie for what it was. I asked her to go inside so I could "explain some things to Grandma." I set her ass straight. I made it clear she would not speak to my children that way. Ever. Then I walked her out. That was several years ago and I haven't seen her since.

Seeing the lie about someone else finally let me see the lies about myself. It was the first of many defining moments to follow as I began to discard all of the "truths" I'd held on to and allowed myself to determine my own worth. I'm still a work in progress.

 

[makemewet69]

Getting out of my abusive marriage and filing for divorce is my defining moment. It was terrifying, but I've been so much happier and it's nice to not be afraid.

 

[Inspirinious]

My grandmother is not a good person. My grandfather was worse. My brother and I suffered their verbal and emotional abuse throughout our childhood. We internalized so much of it, believing the ugliness. We didn't talk back, didn't react. We respected our elders as we were raised to do. As an adult, I had identified most of the wounds. I treated those that could be treated, camouflaged the ones too long scarred over. I thought I had learned to love myself, despite their best efforts to convince me I didn't deserve it.

Then that bitch said something mean to one of my children. We were on my back patio, watching the children play and she said something to my daughter that she'd said to me so many times over the years. Something inside me snapped. I know that child better than anyone and what she said was a bold face lie. In that moment I realized that everything she'd said was a lie. I tended the wound to my child right there in front of her, making sure she could see the lie for what it was. I asked her to go inside so I could "explain some things to Grandma." I set her ass straight. I made it clear she would not speak to my children that way. Ever. Then I walked her out. That was several years ago and I haven't seen her since.

Seeing the lie about someone else finally let me see the lies about myself. It was the first of many defining moments to follow as I began to discard all of the "truths" I'd held on to and allowed myself to determine my own worth. I'm still a work in progress.

OMG! This may be the most profound personal story I have read on Lit. As my generation would say: "That's heavy."

Those are a lot of deep scars that emotionally smothered you for years. And now, you have found the spirit and strength to break free and begin to heal. Your grandmother had broken your self confidence, now you are gaining that back.

That is a profound story. I don't know you personally. But I now have a tremendous amount of respect for you.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[Endless_Night]

VT and makemewet.