Evil Dead - Army of Darkness Thread

[Quiet_Cool]

Jeremy (S-Mart Security)

The trip was utter hell. It wasn't the length of it, in fact, it was fairly short. But the three of them sang! Have you ever heard a fat man sing? How about two of them? Two incredibly fat men, singing in those terrible fat men voices and making your car really fight to get up the hills, and there were hills everywhere! It seemed like, if you tripped at the top of this, you'd roll for three years just to get to the bottom. One-thousand bottles of beer on the wall? Why couldn't they sing their way through a six-pack and move onto something else?
When we turned onto the old dirt road, I was relived, thinking when you get off the paved road, what else could there be but woods, and woods meant we were probably close to the cabin. Then I saw the bridge, new but still wooden. I glanced over at Simon, his fat belly still pressed up against my dashboard, and smiled nervously.
It was a long way down, and I hoped to hell we didn't take the trip downward in my beautiful Nova.
When we reached the other side, I sighed deeply, almost happy enough to join in the song. Well, maybe not. They were down to three-hundred and seventy-nine bottles. My head ached from the sound, as if every damn bottle had been broken over it.
Then the cabin came into view, with the others standing around the van outside. I pulled up behind it and turned off the ignition.
There at last!
Simon leaned toward me, the whole car shifting with his weight. He nudged my elbow with his.
"We'll have to finish the song on the way back, huh?" He grinned, opening the door.
I opened my door as well, leaning to get out, when Simon stood, raising his weight and causing the car to rock. I fell out the driver's side door, landing on my chest.
I was about to curse when I heard Jess's sweet voice asking, "Oh, are you okay?"
I looked up to see her crouching beside me.
"Yeah," I replied, "Just fine. Just fell, that's all."
I got up, smiling to her.
"Good," she said, kissing me softly on the cheek. "I'd hate for you to get hurt. I'm just starting to like you."
She hopped off without another word. I watched her ass as she went, then looked at the cabin. What a dump! Oh, well, we can always...
"Hey...uh..um..." What the hell was the kid's name? "You...with the funky hair? What's that on the door there?"

 

[Moridin187]

Nate extracted himself from the back of the van, stretching out the cramps from sitting in such an akward position. His ass was going to hurt for days... He looked at the cabin.. Cabin his ass, this was a shanty! It was a lean to! This was what you would stay in in a driving rain because you didn't have a newspaper to cover your head and this place was the next best thing.. He sighed and walked up to the door, examining the symbol on it. "I'd say teenage satanists... This looks like something straight out of an old horror movie to me."

 

[poohlive]

Jim, trying to be suave as ever, put his hand around Sara, looking at her with an air of manliness.
"Don't worry, I'll protect you. It might be hard during the night though, I think, for your protection, we should sleep in the same bed, you know, just until you feel safer."
He licked his lips.
Frank glanced back at everyone else, shaking his head, "Yeah, I know what you all are thinking, but it's better than nothing. Seriously though, the hunting up here is top notch. I bet everyone gets their limit within a couple of days."
He looked at the thing painted on the door, sighing. Inside he found a bucket that he filled up, and took a washcloth as well. He began to clean it off, it went fairly easy.
"Well, how about a grand tour? It'll give you all time to unload and see where you want to be sleeping."
(There are a lot of people, I'm going to have to be inventive)
"Ok, here's the living room, where there's a couch that folds out. Perfect for two people who are... ahem, sharing a bed," He moves to the first bedroom, "Here's the only actual bedroom in the house. It's got two twin beds, the door does lock... so, well you know."
It seems as if there would be nothing but shooting and sex on this trip. That suited him just fine, if he could get rid of this fucking hair, that is.
"Now, in the back there's a smaller bed, it's sort of in the back and gets very cold. So, someone'll either have to bundle up, or share this with another."
He looked around, finding the cellar, and opening it up.
"Ok," he moved down the steps so others could see, "Here we've got a cellar that's just perfect for some people who want a little peace and quiet. With the light turned out this place is pitch dark, and there's four or so cots down here, you know, in case you want to actually get some sleep."
He took a step back up the stairs, but something caught his eye. Wasn't that weird? He felt for it down in the crack between the wall and the stairs. What in the world was it?
Oh... a tape player. Frank dusted it off, looking at it with wonder. He bet his grandfather's voice was on here. That was so awesome, perhaps it was something about that new assignment he had talked so much about. Oh well, in either case they would listen to it later.
He came back upstairs, putting it on the (ever famous) little desk. Looking over the room, he noticed that he had missed a bed.
"Oh? And the chair in the living/diningroom/study. That reclines back for someone who had just come up here to hunt."
There, anyone else would have to sleep on the floor. That was the cabin, things were all explained, the tape was found, and some of them are already as scared as hell.
It's time to die.

 

[Moridin187]

Nate sighed to himself as Frank gave the "grand" tour. He figured he might as well take the easy chair and told Frank he would, setting his firearms and ammunition down next to it. After that he wandered around the place for a bit, stopping to look at the old tape player. Why would someone hide it like that? He wondered what was on it. "Hey Frank, this looks pretty interesting, let's listen to it together later eh? Wonder why it was hidden..." He sighed and went outdoors, leaning against a nearby tree, he didn't think the wall of the cabin could support a cat leaning up against it. He pulled one of his packs of Camel (R) nonfiltered cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one, enjoying the first few drags immensely. Normally he didn't smoke around women, he felt it ruined his chances with them even further, but the ladies here already seemed to be pairing off with guys, other guys, so he supposed it didn't matter much... With a sigh, those were getting to be a habit since he'd gotten here, he looked out through the woods. This place was nice in a way, very peaceful and quiet. He stood smoking for a time, half-listening to the conversations of the others, isolated as always.

 

[PmTick]

Earl arrived back at the reservation, looking for wise men to bless the house with. A dark shadow is being cast on the land, we must do the ritual of the bear before it's too dark.

 

[Angelus]

Kate looked at everyone and saw that they seemed to be doing there own thing at the moment which suited her fine. She walked towards one of the rooms and looked around it. This place looked like it hadn't been used in a century and the dust could choke a donkey. She looked around it and shook her head then turned and was about to walk out of the room but before she could something caught her eye. One of the floor boards was slightly ajar and underneath she could see something that looked like a book.

Kate bent down and slowly moved the floor board then saw to her surprise that there was a small journal there. She pulled it out and wondered why it was in a plastic bag. She also wondered what the slightly reddish brown stain on it was. She was about to open up the bag but before she could she heard a shout from the main room and tucked the journal into her bag then walked out of the room.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Jeremy (S-Mart Security)

Kate had disappeared, and since the little blonde, Jess, was outside doing...well, whatever. Unloading the guns with Simon I think, I decided to look around and see if I could find her. I stopped in the main room and thought, hell, why not yell? It's not like her legs are broke...
"Hey, Kate!"
I wandered toward the short hall leading toward the bedroom and hall. SHe stepped out of the bedroom, almost walking into me.
"Oh," I said, "Hey, Baby. I was just looking for you...what's happening? Find a bed for us to share?"
I popped my eyebrows up, trying to make her grin...I doubted it would work (she's such a cold fish, this one) but what the hell would the attempt hurt?

OOC: if there was another shout, then I flubbed. Let me know, I'll fix it.

 

[The Black Rose]

OOC : Sorry PPL

OOC : I must apologize for my disappearance, I got hit with a wave of reality... Just imagine Silver stayed silent, observing the ppl. Has been following Jeremy(Jer) without saying much, just using his 'coolness factor' to draw glances.

IC:
Silver :
So, umm... Who are these people Jer? I only know half of em, well, a few actually.

 

[PmTick]

Earl, along with 4 wise men and 2 warriors, raced through the woods. The sun would be setting before they arrived at the damned cabin if they didn't hurry.

 

[Moridin187]

Nate finally finished the last of his cigarette and dropped it on the ground, carefully grinding it out to be sure not to start a fire. He strode into the cabin and to the desk, looking down at the tape player. "Okay, I'd say it's too late to go out hunting tonight, whose up for checking out what's on this tape?"

 

[Angelus]

Kate looked at Jeremy with a grin and then punched him lightly in the arm. He had scared the hell out of her when she had walked out of the bedroom and straight into him. He had then given her a really stupid line and she knew that she had to punch him for that. She looked back into the bedroom then gave him a suggestive look and said, "Well I did find a bed in there..... do you want to use it now or wait until everyone is asleep so we can make as much noise as we like."

She looked at him again with a smile and waited for his reaction.

 

[poohlive]

"Hey, hey, hey!"
Jim gave Nate a look of disatisfaction.
"Have none of you been hunting before? First of all, we need wood. Nate, since you are so inclined to have tonight's entertainment laid out, I suggest you go do that. There should be a ton of it in the back shed.
(the dissection shed, lol)
"Someone else go too, we need a huge pile for tonight. It gets rather cold up here this time of the year. I wouldn't be surprised to see a bit of snow.
"Now, if we could get a couple people started on dinner, and the rest cleaning up a little bit so we can at least call this dump livable, then we can finally bunker down for the night."
Frank took the bag of groceries, taking out several huge cans of Beef Stew.
Jim snickered, "Yeah, that's right. I always wondered how great of a chef you were, faggot."
Frank picked up the can, wanting to hurl it at him so bad. He had to stop though, just had to. Murder would look so bad with all these witnesses.
Jim grabbed a broom, beginning to sweep up the floor, "I knew you were too girly to do it."
From the kitchen came the sound of a plate crashing.

 

[Moridin187]

Nate walked out back to the wood shed, muttering to himself about "grunt work". "I'm a goddamn stock boy.. I carry things back and forth and stack them all day.. I go out into the woods on a fucking vacation, and what's the first goddamn thing I wind up doing? Carrying and stacking things!! Arrgh!" He continued to swear to himself softly, drawing on several different languages as he opened the door to the shed, nearly tearing it off its hinges. His eyes roved around the interior. There wasn't all that much wood here, but that was a really nice chainsaw...

( Hey, I call getting the evil in the hand! and why does pooh keep trying to push me into all the bad places.. you tryin to get rid of me or somethin?)

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Jeremy (S-Mart Security)

She punched me on the arm, which hurt a little. She must have put all of her strength behind that one, then she looked back into the bedroom and said, "Well I did find a bed in there...do you want to use it now or wait until everyone is asleep so we can make as much noise as we like," and smiled.
Jackpot!
And I wasn't really even trying this time...okay, well MAYBE I was trying a little. I grinned back, hearing Jim in the background, talking about whether or not we'd ever been hunting and saying we needed wood. Currently, I WAS hunting, and in a few minutes, I'll probably have wood, so I guess I'm covered as far as his instructions were concerned.
"Hey, baby, you can decide. i'm good ofr both options myself...if it works for you, it works for the J-Man."
I pointed to myself with both thumbs, hands rolled into balls, extra emphasis on the cool!
"So what do you say, honey? Want to take aride on the Wild Elmo?"
"So um...who are these people Jer? I only know half of em, well, a few actually," asked Silver.
Bad timing was usually not a problem with Silver, but nobody's perfect.
"I don't know em all either," I replied, "Nate works with me, and Simon and his buddy I know from school. That's about all I know..."

OOC: Ummm...we've had about thirty posts...when are turning on the tape-player? Can't have the dead, cellar, and workshed without the tape-player...

 

[Moridin187]

( Yeah, c'mon, haven't we had enough setup yet?

Ride on the Wild Elmo, ROFL, Quiet, man, you owe me a pair of clean pants after reading that...)

 

[PmTick]

Earl and his people stayed in the woods that surrounded the cabin. The warriors lit a small fire and began dancing around it as the wisemen began to bang their drums. Earl reached into his sachel and threw a few seeds into the flames. The fire began to change color from red to green. "I fear it may be too late my brothers, we must countinue though."

OOC: Yeah let's get this thing rolling.

 

[PmTick]

OOC: PL, relax, I don't think anyone has jumped ahead yet. We all respect your opinion but at the same time please give us the same respect rather than lashing out. If you have some kind of grand plan for the thread, please share. There is no reason to be impolite though, perhaps you didn't mean it like that but that's how it's coming off.

Earl knew the green flame meant one thing, the visitors had arrived. The option to raid the cabin themselves was no longer valid. The warriors stop dancing and sat down waiting for another solution. One of the warriors spoke, "Perhaps we can send a representative to the cabin to explain our case to the visitors?" Earl knodded, "That sounds like a good idea. Go back to the reservation and summon Joseph. They'll respond better to someone their own age."

 

[PmTick]

OOC: Alright, I am willing to wait, I've been involved in threads with you before and I don't question that your a gifted writer and experienced. Can you just fill us in with the steps we should take before moving things along? I apologize as well, perhaps I'm being overly sensitive to the issue.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Jeremy (S-Mart Security)

Wow, this chick sure took her time making decisions...what was she waiting for? I mean, I was irrefusable! Maybe I should have turned around and let her check out my butt...no, don't want to overload her system all at once, but Elmo WAS getting rather impatient...

OOC: Sorry to have caused a brief disturbance with the insistance on going further, I didn't realize everybody hadn't posted here yet. I can't even remember how many players we have now...
Just figured maybe we'd have some better posts if we moved on with more action. Pooh's right though, we can't leave other behind....Let's not discuss this on the thread, though...that slows it donw as well. In fact, maybe we should even delete those posts that aren't within the story...

 

[Angelus]

Kate looked at Jeremy and smiled, "Ride the Wild Elmo huh. Well it is the first time that I have ever heard it called that before but all I can say is you're on. There is only one thing that I have to tell you- I might just have to gag you so that you don't scream out too much."

With that Kate walked past him and into the main room, the smile still on her face. She knew that she had just left Jeremy standing there with his mouth and eyes wide open. She turned and looked back just as he did and blew him a kiss then walked out into the main room, whistling.

 

[poohlive]

Ooc: Well, I was thinking about it, long and hard. And I'm going to do a sleeper post, which means... lol, well read and you'll see what it means. This way, by Monday everyone who's still in this thread should post something in response. Once we get this out of the way, the people who are still here can move on.






Jim grabbed the stereo from out of the car, and set it up on the mantle next to the fireplace. Oddly enough the electricity still worked. Limp Bizket and Linkin Park blazed out, making the entire house shake.
Everyone was either cleaning or supplying the week's worth of wood. This was great, a good ole hunting trip with some good cooperation.
He swept the broom around, hitting the desk. On it, the tape began to play, it was under the loud music though, so it was unhearable. Jim continued sweeping.
Frank's stew was coming along just nicely. Piping hot, and some grilled cheese sandwhichs to go with it. A nice touch, if he did say so himself. He didn't care if people thought he was gay. So he had crappy dyed hair, so he was a good cook.
So what?
He began putting bowls out, and spoons. People could eat when they were ready.
A song ended, making the house utterly quiet. Except for a spill off of some rather unfamiliar latin words.
"Grandpa?" Frank peeped out of the kitchen, looking curiously. Jim looked back at the tape recorder. It had been going for some time.
Jim shrugged his shoulders, turning it off.
"Probably more of his boring research."
Something shook the house again, this time it wasn't music. Outside, someone screamed.
(sleeper post)

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Jeremy (S-Mart Security)

The girl was a tease...oh, well. There was always that cute young Jess, she was something...and I guessed she had the hotts for me...Lucky her.
Silver was looking at me as the girl walked away.
"Lesbain," I explained, whispering, then shrugged.
Currently, however, my mind was focused on other things. Like the music that one kid put on (what the Hell were their names?), which was blaring too loud almost to think...And what the Hell was the guy screaming about? Something about something Crawling in his Skin?
"Confusing what is real..." The stereo shouted.
Wow! Doesn't anyone listen to Zepplin anymore? What happened to Aerosmith? I kow they're still around somewhere, aren't they? I mean, I think Mick Jagger's in a home somewhere, but isn't Steven Tyler still out singing somewhere?
Then I smelled the air...woah! I hadn't realized I was hungry until I smelled the stew and grilled cheese.
I wandered into the kitchen, thinking, one of the ladies has a true talent for cooking. Then I saw the gay guy at the stove. Woman's work...should have seen this coming...
"So," began, wandering over to him, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, then thinking better of it. Don't want to lead the poor guy on, y'know. "Where'd you learn to cook, there...uh...um...uh..." What the hell was his name? I ignored my first instinct. Don't call him Liberachi (sp.?). "Buddy?"
Yeah, good cover.
I smelled the air. Hey, he was gifted in the kitchen. I wandered over to the table and took a seat, thinking to myself, this would go a lot smoother if we had some Lynyrd Skynyrd to listen to.
"I've tried so hard...and gone so far...but in the end...it doesn't even matter..." Blared through the cabin and I sat there, humming "Sweet Home Alabama..."
When the music stopped, my humming became apparent in the sudden silence and I stopped, looking around and wondering if anyone had heard me.
Instead, I could hear the sound of some old guy's voice came to my ears, speaking some odd languge I couldn't understand and words I could barely hear over the ringing in my ears.
"Grandpa?" Liber--um...the gay kid asked.
His brother turned it off, saying, "Probably more of his boring research."
The house vibrated suddenly, then a scream came from outside. Jess? Was that cute little Jess? It sounded like her.
I stood and hurried out the door, looking around. It was already getting dark, the sun was almost gone, although it seemed a little too early for the sun to set.
I looked around, seeing Simon few feet away doing the same. He'd changed his shirt and was now wearing one of those ugly Hawiian jobs. Bright flowers and dark red background. What was it with fat men and Hawiian shirts. He has sandals on too, and looked like he thought he was at the beach.
"That sounded like Jess," He said.
"Yeah," I returned. "you know where she went?"
He shook his head. "I don't like this..."

 

[Lady_Siren]

OOC: I'm sorry my little dissapearing act everyone if it's alright I'd like to jump back into the story . Just think of my character as standing in the background observing everyone

IC: Lily heard the scream and jumped about five feet in the air. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked at everyone nervously. She moved close to the first guy she came to which happened to be Jim. It was an instinctive move made out of fear. Usually screams didn't frighten her. Nothing really frightened her but that scream had been so fill of fear and pain she began to shake just thinking of it. "W-what happened?"

 

[Angelus]

Kate

Kate looked around at the sound of the scream and wondered who had just made it and if it was a prank. She wanted to go out there and check what had just happened. She walked towards the door and turned the knob, slowly opening it then walked outside. Why had that girl made that noise she thought as she walked away from the cabin and hoped that she wasn't making a huge mistake by coming out here.

 

[Moridin187]

Nate had finished stacking the smaller chunks of wood outside the cabin and busily chopping up some of the larger pieces when the music suddenly stopped. He stood and stretched, wiping some sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. Of course, no one had come out to help him, so he had been working steadily since they'd arrived. He didn't really mind once he got going, mindless tasks left the mind free to wander while the body worked. He had the axe halfway back to swing again when he heard the scream. Immediately he took off around the cabin and saw Kate heading into the woods. He ran up next to her and fell in step, axe still in hand.

"What was that? Are you going to check?"