Well, that was disappointing. I wrote a few thoughtful paragraphs and poof, vanished.
Anyway, I said something like:
I picked up the first book because of all the talk/publicity. I knew from what I heard that it was not very well-written but I’ve enjoyed the entertainment value of some marginal literature. Like my tastes in music, my tastes in literature are varied and surprise some people. I like classical music, some opera, some jazz, some pop, some rap . . .oh and even some country music. That usually shocks people the most.
So back to “Shades.” I ended up reading all three books.
One of the reasons the books are so popular with older-than-teenage women is this: When we come home at the end of the day, many of us (ok, me) want to lay down all the armor we have to put on in our daily lives and trust our lover to be the man. I do something for a living that requires me to be very assertive at work.
I don’t want to be the man at home. I have to be the man at work. I’m a sensual, sexual, soft, feminine being. That’s what I want to be at home. For me, it takes a lover who is dominant, assertive, strong, and yes, loving, kind, caring, and gentle when it’s called for -- to allow me to lay down the armor. “Fifty Shades” presents such a lover.
In spite of the incredible need for a good editor, (how many times can one “press one’s mouth into a hard line” or “look up at him through her lashes?) the book was entertaining enough for a quick summer read ---- and to intensify my desire to experiment with more intense dominant/submissive roles in my relationship.
I get the feeling one has to be a very strong person to be a good sub. Perhaps one day I’ll find out.
Bella-
Nicely put and it dovetails a lot of what I have been thinking about why the books are so phenomenally popular and my sweetie put it is great context I think. First of all, the book is written by a woman from a woman's perspective, it is not the typical books in bd/sm that are written by guys. Yes, it is a romance, which by their very nature are not realistic (yeah, 45 year old guys come 4 times a night, right). The point that is being lost is that Ana, the girl, as clueless as she is, ends up taming Christian, she stands up to him and is able to get him to actually have a loving relationship with her (while finding out she can enjoy the kink). The point of the book is not about BD/SM, but rather about Ana getting out of Christian what she needs, and that is key. My sweeties point is that unlike what most women experience in sex, Ana is the one getting served; whether it is kink or not, Ana is the one who is the focus of the sex, Christian is focusing on her, which quite frankly is not the norm even today for women's sexuality for many. I think my sweetie is right, that women see what goes on here and are using it as a mechanism to get their mates to actually make them the focus of what they are doing. When you are the one being tied up, being spanked, whatever, you are the center of it, the focus of what is going on, and I think that the women getting heated up by this are attracted by that idea. Read any romance novel and what entrances the women who are the main readers? The male character focuses on them, actually cares they get an orgasm, etc. They aren't seeing the bd/sm and thinking "hmm, I'll have a D/s with my husband", it is more like "I can get him to do these things to me, I can let myself go and be the center of attention".
I don't think this is going to create a wave of women getting into serious bd/sm or d/s, the book itself is not really a bd/sm book and it was never meant to be. Rather, what I think is happening is because of e-books women can read stuff they normally wouldn't, and see something in it to get what they have been missing. I don't think the women flooding adult bookstores and erotic boutiques and hardware stores or the rope aisle of the Home Depot want to run out and join a BD/SM group, or would get turned on by reading 'real' bd/sm fiction or want to go to an S/M club or have a 24/7 DS with their husband, I think they simply see a way to get their husband to pay the kind of attention to them they want, to be the center of things. In one sense it is brilliant, if that is the reason, because a lot of husbands are going to see it as being doing kink, prob something they have thought about but been afraid to bring up, and here it is being handed to them. They see playing the master, having a willing 'slave', but in reality they are being topped from the bottom sort of
.I think for anyone into bd/sm this isn't 'real', but it was never really meant to be, the d/s is a plot point as part of how Christian can have any kind of sexual relationship.
