Film Noir ...

[islander01]

*pardon me while I laugh*

Cool I made a woman laugh without getting nekkid

 

[tonitits]

I was still trying to figure Sterling out. He was an enigma, a mystery man and I had no idea whether to trust him or not. I looked at the dough in my hand and decided it would get me away from the club.

I realized I was getting in deeper and deeper. I had Lt. Knight after me, he would be out for blood after last night. Mecklenburg was just as crooked. Quake was like Barn ...AWOL. I had no where to turn, I needed a safe place to hide. If Slick didn't get back soon ...

My bartender was already at the club, and he poured me a cup of coffee. I called him AA(Almost Alive), and he was a big, steady rock for me in this dive. He looked happy, that meant he'd spent the night with Toni. She was a greeter at the local five and dime, a real nice kid. She was also unforgettable, her boobs walked in the room five minutes before her. AA was permanently walleyed but I didn't hear him complaining.

"You okay boss?" he asked with a look of genuine concern.

"I'm fine, just a long night. I need to do some serious thinking. I gotta get away, I'm in a jam."

He nodded, I knew I could count on him to take over while I was gone. I packed a small bag and ran to the cab. I told the cabbie to drive, at this point I just wanted out. I never noticed the car tailing us ...

hehehe, thanks Cookie, I love the way that you described me!

 

[cookiejar]

hehehe, thanks Cookie, I love the way that you described me!

No problem...you are a great couple...

 

[MindFire]

jumping up and down this is the best thread I have ever read..
your all wonderful writers..
peppermint kisses

 

[sueanninct]

jumping up and down this is the best thread I have ever read..
your all wonderful writers..
peppermint kisses

I'm so addicted!!

 

[ram1_2]

The tires on the cruiser spun........

.........as Lt Head gunned the car out of the precinct parking lot. He was running on fumes, and he knew it. The Captain was out to get him, and Jimmy Washington, his newest and freshest recruit was sitting alongside him, partially to watch his back, probably to report to Gucci, Head thought.

'Now look here, youngster, when you're with me, you keep you eyes peeled and your mouth shut, understood?' 'But, Lt......' 'But me no buts, Jimmy, or we'll discuss the rumour flying around the station that you haven't got your cherry popped yet.' The young cop blushed to the roots of his short blonde hair and closed his jaw with a snap you could hear over the roaring Detroit mill. Head grinned, and thought that Jimmy would make a nice present for Rosy or one of the other girls that Miss Perdita ran.

They parked down the street from Sato's place, as Head thought that a coy approach might be better. The joint was on the ground floor of the Shane Block, like the Captain had said, and from across the street you could tell it was really jumping. There seemed to be a solid trade in the eatery section, with many booths being occupied, and three guys were struggling to fix the portion of the sign that said 'Sato's Superior Sex Store' above the newly painted-over windows of the other section. 'You've got to admit, our Mayor has liberal views on what's legal in this town, Jimmy....but then, he would have to, seeing as how his personal tastes are rather wide, or at least the leather straps he uses are. Let's go over and see what's cookin'.'

They slid into a booth near the door, and a cute waitress in a silk kimono whispered across the floor, carrying two menus. 'Just get us the manager, toots' said Head, 'and you....stop catching flies!' The later was aimed at Jimmy, who had been staring, mesmerised, at the tiny, beautiful Japanese girl. Once again, Jimmies jaw closed with a clunk that made heads turn. 'We're gonna HAVE to get you laid' the Lt Head muttered.

Sato proved to be a caricature of a caricature. His crumpled white suit almost caused Head to ask how Number One son was, but instead the policeman managed to refrain, instead posing a number of pointed questions about the new establishment. 'Well, I don't know, I deal with cookin', not sex stuff. I leave that to new partner'. 'Well, he'd better come up with some answers. Where is he?, said Head. Sato looked surly and jerked a thumb, 'Next door'. Just as the two cops were leaving the dining room, Head paused, looked puzzled, and turned back towards Sato, 'Oh, one last thing...you know, humor me here...sorry for asking...but why the expensive new sign?'
Once again he got a scowl, 'Well, couldn't stand, 'Rongdon's Rovery Ringerie and River Rounge..........' Head nodded sagely, 'No, I dare say you couldn't'.

The sex emporium part of the establishment was in an uproar, boxes and crates littered the floor, and racks were still being erected. 'Well', said Head, 'that's not the only thing that'll be going up soon, I dare say' Jimmy didn't reply, and Head turned to see him gaping at a display of double-ended dildos. 'Wha..wha...?' 'Oh boy! Don't even THINK about it....and Head got no further, because a voice from his past floated into his ear. 'What's a pretty, pretty boy doing with an old soak like you?' Head took a deep breath and turned to see a vision in red lace. 'Hi, Rosy, come to pick up some new equipment?' The redhead eyed him, 'Since you keep turning me down, copper, I have to look elsewhere you know', and eyed Jimmy hungrily, 'besides which Mr Nakamua has offered me a job as a product demonstrator at a fancy wage'. Head was about to ask where her boss was, when a balding Oriental hurried out of one of the back rooms. 'We not open yet, come back tomorrow!'. Rosy bent and whispered something in his ear, and instantly he became ingratiating. 'Ah! Pleased to meet fine Lt Head, who Rosy knows!' What can we do for you? A nice pair of manacles, perhaps, or tomorrow's special offer, 'Cat of Eighteen Tails', twice as good as original?'. 'Why don't we just go into your office, Mr Nakamura, and have a little chat about a special shipment. Rosy can keep Jimmy occupied, I'm sure.' As they entered the inner office, Head looked back to see Rosy dragging a bemused Jimmy firmly towards a door marked 'Private'. She had a look on her face like a cat who has just found a pint of spilt cream.

Nakamura was stubborn, he denied having lost a shipment of any kind, even when Head had to raise his voice. This was done partially to overcome the hammering and cursing of the workmen next door, and also to make himself heard above the shrieks and groans coming from what sounded like a pretty impressive 'top of the first' by young Jimmy in the back office. 'I'm telling YOU, that either you start singing, or I'll let the 13th Precinct Glee Club have a go at you, and they play dirty.' Just as the Lieutenant was gathering a full head of steam for his next salvo, there was a blood-curdling scream from next door. 'Damn! That's not Jimmy...although Rosy's pretty good....' As he flung the door open, a scene of total mayhem met his eyes, with the back door issuing a stream of black-clad individuals who were battling with the workmen and staff of the sex shop. Head narrowly ducked a box of extra large Chinese Fun Balls which shattered on impact against the wall. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jimmy dash towards him, screaming 'Look out, Lt........' There was one of those horrible, pregnant pauses, like the one where you just KNOW Aunt Agatha's priceless Ming vase was going to hit the dining room floor.......followed by a soggy, dull 'thunk'. Jimmy looked surprised, and fell forward, dead, into Head's outstretched arms, a strange, razor-sharp star buried in his chest. Still supporting Jimmy with one hand, the Lieutenant drew his Smith & Wesson, and in the blink of eye, blew two of the silent killers away. Pausing only to lower his comrade to the floor and roar at a sobbing Rosy, 'Call the Precinct!', Head moved out after the now swiftly retreating band, black anger in his heart. 'This time, it's personal....' he muttered under his breath.

 

[alwaysawake]

hehehe, thanks Cookie, I love the way that you described me!

LOL cookie...toooo funny! You forgot 'glassy-eyed' to describe me...hee hee!

 

[sueanninct]

Can someone call my boss and tell her I won't be in today? This story is WAY too good to leave.

 

[cookiejar]

LOL cookie...toooo funny! You forgot 'glassy-eyed' to describe me...hee hee!

.... Ty AA...

 

[cookiejar]

Can someone call my boss and tell her I won't be in today? This story is WAY too good to leave.

I just hope someone protects my cookies...

 

[cookiejar]

Where are my writers??

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

Where are my writers??

I am not far away - Still trying to negotiate a better advance though!





Detective Mecklenburg will return though

 

[cookiejar]

I am not far away - Still trying to negotiate a better advance though!





Detective Mecklenburg will return though

Sheesh...I'm in trouble here and no man to help me...

 

[sueanninct]

Sheesh...I'm in trouble here and no man to help me...

Don't look at me. I'm just a floozy - I've got enough problems of my own.

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

Don't look at me. I'm just a floozy - I've got enough problems of my own.

truer words were never spoken!

 

[cookiejar]

Don't look at me. I'm just a floozy - I've got enough problems of my own.

ROFL...

 

[sueanninct]

truer words were never spoken!

You hush!
You're gonna pay for that one, sushi boy!!

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

You hush!
You're gonna pay for that one, sushi boy!!

It's frickin' Freezing in her Mr. Bigglesworth

http://www.datasync.com/~jrocker/pictures/bigglesworth.jpg

 

[Jibsheet]

Latecommer to the thread!

Hi All,

Fellow noir-addict here...film, lit...you name it.

Just starting to read "A Century of Noir: Thirty-Two Classic Crime Stories" edited by Mickey Spillane and Max Allan Collins.

I only wish I could write my erotica with that same spare style..but it's not my voice, I guess!

Jibsheet

 

[sueanninct]

It's frickin' Freezing in her Mr. Bigglesworth

http://www.datasync.com/~jrocker/pictures/bigglesworth.jpg

It's freezing in her? Who are you in?

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Latecommer to the thread!

Hi All,

Fellow noir-addict here...film, lit...you name it.

Just starting to read "A Century of Noir: Thirty-Two Classic Crime Stories" edited by Mickey Spillane and Max Allan Collins.

I only wish I could write my erotica with that same spare style..but it's not my voice, I guess!

Jibsheet

Hiya Jib...the way it's going it looks like I might be writing alone

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

It's freezing in her? Who are you in?

Well now that you asked....Didn you say it was gettin; down into single digits in Conn tonite?????

 

[sueanninct]

Well now that you asked....Didn you say it was gettin; down into single digits in Conn tonite?????

Watch it, Bub!

 

[cookiejar]

I was still trying to figure Sterling out. He was an enigma, a mystery man and I had no idea whether to trust him or not. I looked at the dough in my hand and decided it would get me away from the club.

I realized I was getting in deeper and deeper. I had Lt. Knight after me, he would be out for blood after last night. Mecklenburg was just as crooked. Quake was like Barn ...AWOL. I had no where to turn, I needed a safe place to hide. If Slick didn't get back soon ...

My bartender was already at the club, and he poured me a cup of coffee. I called him AA(Almost Alive), and he was a big, steady rock for me in this dive. He looked happy, that meant he'd spent the night with Toni. She was a greeter at the local five and dime, a real nice kid. She was also unforgettable, her boobs walked in the room five minutes before her. AA was permanently walleyed but I didn't hear him complaining.

"You okay boss?" he asked with a look of genuine concern.

"I'm fine, just a long night. I need to do some serious thinking. I gotta get away, I'm in a jam."

He nodded, I knew I could count on him to take over while I was gone. I packed a small bag and ran to the cab. I told the cabbie to drive, at this point I just wanted out. I never noticed the car tailing us ...

I found an out of the way flophouse and quickly registered. The schmuck behind the desk was giving me the once over and I hurried to my room. It was a low point in my life, alone in a dump. I was scared and I paced, smoking cigarette after cigarette. This section of town was a hot bed of crime, a place where life was cheap.

I wondered how I ended up here, it was a long way from the south side of Chicago. Scratch that ... it was the same, just a different city. The day was long, the heat in the little room stifling. I lay on the bed and cried, cried like I hadn't cried in years. I wasn't hard bitten Cookie now, the dame who held men in the palm of her hand. The tables had been neatly turned on me, and it had happened so fast I was still in a state of denial.

I musta fell asleep because when I awoke it was dark. I sensed rather than saw a movement and then the hands were on my neck. I tried to scream, my feet kicking out as I fought. I could hear his heavy breathing and smell his stale breath. My eyes were filled with tears and my hands clawed at the fingers on my throat. It was a dance of death and he was leading ... the world was turning gray... I silently cried out for Slick. Help me! Help me!....

 

[EarthquakeMan]

I was still trying to figure Sterling out. He was an enigma, a mystery man and I had no idea whether to trust him or not. I looked at the dough in my hand and decided it would get me away from the club.

I realized I was getting in deeper and deeper. I had Lt. Knight after me, he would be out for blood after last night. Mecklenburg was just as crooked. Quake was like Barn ...AWOL. I had no where to turn, I needed a safe place to hide. If Slick didn't get back soon ...

My bartender was already at the club, and he poured me a cup of coffee. I called him AA(Almost Alive), and he was a big, steady rock for me in this dive. He looked happy, that meant he'd spent the night with Toni. She was a greeter at the local five and dime, a real nice kid. She was also unforgettable, her boobs walked in the room five minutes before her. AA was permanently walleyed but I didn't hear him complaining.

"You okay boss?" he asked with a look of genuine concern.

"I'm fine, just a long night. I need to do some serious thinking. I gotta get away, I'm in a jam."

He nodded, I knew I could count on him to take over while I was gone. I packed a small bag and ran to the cab. I told the cabbie to drive, at this point I just wanted out. I never noticed the car tailing us ...

http://www.xs4all.nl/~kiliaan/bogart/images/bogart_cover.jpg

I smoked half a pack of Luckys for breakfast as I stared out the grimy window of my flophouse at Blondie & Elizabeth’s pool. Elizabeth was there. What a dame. She lay naked by the pool, her skin glistening in the hot sun, her breasts full and shapely, her nipples taut . . .

. . . damn this was supposed to be a noir parody, not an erotic post. To focus my attention, I pulled out my heater and shot off the little toe on my left foot.

The phone jangled. I let it ring while I lit another smoke and bandaged my toe. When I answered, my client said, “I didn’t hire you to doll watch.”

“And I don’t work for mystery women. Either we meet or find yourself another gumshoe.”

“You’re getting good jack to find that Astroglide, big boy. Me, I stay in the shadows. That’s the deal.” I heard jalopies in the background. She’d dropped a dime in a booth. I could almost recognize her, but her voice was muffled, just like before, her receiver obviously wrapped in edible underwear. My only hope was that she would get hungry.

“Give me the skinny,” she said.

“I danced with Cookie,” I said. “She and my snitch, Barn, both tried to point me to Rosy’s Malt Shoppe. Rosy is wired on Jix Juice. Mecklenberg is a copper who stalks redheads. Sueanninct is a tweetybird who stalks coppers, Islander is a time traveller who found a Hooter’s in noir-land and stalks cookies, Rain is a blonde who stalks rams, and Ram is a flatfoot who knows how to spell ‘satyriasis’.”

“You doin’ soap opera or crime?”

“Is there a difference?”

“What about Soft Peter?” she said.

“Haven’t had that problem since that night on AIM with Hanns.”

We did some more jitterbug and I hung up. I’d find the damn Astroglide and collect my jack. But first I was going visit Elizabeth’s pool.

I limped down the stairs, across the street and entered the pool grounds. I plucked a daisy, got up a head of steam, and ran to Elizabeth’s chaise, finishing with a flourish, a nice twenty-foot Gene Kelly knee slide. I tipped my fedora and handed Elizabeth the flower.

She took the flower, then looked at my bandaged toe.

“Like Jack Nicholson,” I said. “Chinatown. I’m a private dick on a big case.”

“His nose,” Elizabeth said.

“Who’s nose?”

“Jack Nicholson’s. It was his nose, not his toe that was bandaged.”

“Oh.”

I couldn’t help but let my gaze wander across her flat stomach, her shapely hips, her neatly trimmed . . .

. . . I pulled out my heater and shot off another toe.

Elizabeth said, “I guess you aren’t going to ask me to go dancing, huh?”

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s Lit Fiction, I can grow the toes back in one paragraph.”

I was about to unleash the Quake charm on her when I heard a cab screech to a halt in front of my flophouse across the street. I watched the blonde get out and enter the building. She looked like a woman on the lam.

It was Cookie.