Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[Tio_Narratore]

A high wire trapeze act who specialised in performing challenging positions out of the karma sutra.

Are you comfortable?

Not really. Your wife's bum is squashing my dick. Could you ask her to slip it inside her so it has room to swell?

Is anyone ever truly satisfied?

 

[NEOhio1972]

Not really. Your wife's bum is squashing my dick. Could you ask her to slip it inside her so it has room to swell?

Is anyone ever truly satisfied?

Not until our dicks are slipped inside.....

Who are you?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Not until our dicks are slipped inside.....

Who are you?

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob!

Will you Be at Leso?

 

[AlinaX]

Officially confused, but I'm not going anywhere with this spreader bar locked to my ankles.

Why were coconuts invented?

 

[Rustyoznail]

Why were coconuts invented?

To cover Tahitian A-cups. Unfortunately.

Do you prefer fresh or dry pasta?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Officially confused, but I'm not going anywhere with this spreader bar locked to my ankles.

Be At Leso -- Google it - part of Beatles lore and myth.

To cover Tahitian A-cups. Unfortunately.

Do you prefer fresh or dry pasta?

It doesn't matter to me, but Sylvia prefers the fresh when we're fucking.

What's a non sequitur?

 

[Bamagan]

Be At Leso -- Google it - part of Beatles lore and myth.

It doesn't matter to me, but Sylvia prefers the fresh when we're fucking.

What's a non sequitur?

It's a collared submissive that refuses to heel, or otherwise does not follow.

What's a habeus corpus?

 

[AlinaX]

Isn't that where you read every story by one author until you're bored and/or worn out from masturbating?

What is a feather for?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Isn't that where you read every story by one author until you're bored and/or worn out from masturbating?

What is a feather for?

If you don't care, it might just as well be a fig. On the other hand, it is a traditional prelude to an erotic flogging.

What does 'to flog a dead horse' mean?

 

[MargotPayge]

If you don't care, it might just as well be a fig. On the other hand, it is a traditional prelude to an erotic flogging.

What does 'to flog a dead horse' mean?

It was an ancient Roman custom to sacrifice the horse of the bridegroom after a wedding and flog it to drown out the copulatory sounds of the newlyweds. It is also the origin of "...and the horse you rode in on."

What is the purpose of free compulsory education?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

It was an ancient Roman custom to sacrifice the horse of the bridegroom after a wedding and flog it to drown out the copulatory sounds of the newlyweds. It is also the origin of "...and the horse you rode in on."

What is the purpose of free compulsory education?

It is important that people are taught of the one-hundred and sixty-nine ways that should be known by everyone.

What are the thirteen ways known only to the Emperor?

 

[AlinaX]

Only six of the thirteen ways have been reported:
1. There is a network of secret passages within the ancient walls of the imperial palace that permits the emperor to watch the women of the court disrobe and fuck.
2. The emperor's inquisitor has a mechanism that holds a woman at the precipice indefinitely, denying her climax until she is willing to sell herself body and soul to the emperor.
3. The emperor has invisible clothes that men mock, but they don't know that the clothes make the emperor's revealed body irresistible to women.
4. There is a secret door in the seat of the imperial throne, allowing the emperor to have his ass licked and his cock stroked by an unseen virgin maid while he sits through tedious diplomatic sessions.
5. There is a hole in the wall in the bathroom of the royal chamber, and many a maid presses her cunt against the other side in hope of enticing the emperor to use them; the emperor enjoys watching his personal guards accept those pretty invitations.
6. The imperial crown has the power to let the wearer perceive and manipulate the sexual desires of men and women, and the emperor delights in making his enemies lust for degrading delights.

How many is enough?

 

[AchtungNight]

Only six of the thirteen ways have been reported:
1. There is a network of secret passages within the ancient walls of the imperial palace that permits the emperor to watch the women of the court disrobe and fuck.
2. The emperor's inquisitor has a mechanism that holds a woman at the precipice indefinitely, denying her climax until she is willing to sell herself body and soul to the emperor.
3. The emperor has invisible clothes that men mock, but they don't know that the clothes make the emperor's revealed body irresistible to women.
4. There is a secret door in the seat of the imperial throne, allowing the emperor to have his ass licked and his cock stroked by an unseen virgin maid while he sits through tedious diplomatic sessions.
5. There is a hole in the wall in the bathroom of the royal chamber, and many a maid presses her cunt against the other side in hope of enticing the emperor to use them; the emperor enjoys watching his personal guards accept those pretty invitations.
6. The imperial crown has the power to let the wearer perceive and manipulate the sexual desires of men and women, and the emperor delights in making his enemies lust for degrading delights.

How many is enough?

And yet despite all of this, I know several Jedi and other people who have defied imperial power and seem to have a better grasp of true power than the Emperor does. Who exactly is mistaken here?

To answer the question, it’s as many things as people think is enough at a certain time. Example- hey, honey, how about a climax? You’re too tired / busy / otherwise unready? Ok, I can wait. How about you look at this nice dinner I fixed you while I do? And this nice vibrator I bought you and would love to demonstrate for you when you’re ready? Has your definition of “enough” suddenly changed? I was hoping it might.

New question- what are you doing here?

 

[Rustyoznail]

New question- what are you doing here?

Don't mind me. I'll just quietly sit in the corner and watch.

Is Tom Cruise really a good action hero?

 

[AlinaX]

He's hard and fast and a big spender, for sure, and he's great in the cockpit.

What is stick?

 

[MargotPayge]

What is stick?

Stick(TM) is an incredibly effective new treatment for ED for men over 90. An unfortunate side effect is it is so effective that if used by any man younger, their dick may explode. [edit: my apologies I couldn't figure out how to do superscript for the trade mark}

Who is Pitt the younger?

 

[AlinaX]

™ as a character may work.

ETA: Pitt the Younger was the first man in history to solve the grandfather paradox by impregnating his grandmother on her hen do.

What do hens do?

 

[AchtungNight]

Don't mind me. I'll just quietly sit in the corner and watch.

Is Tom Cruise really a good action hero?

He rebels against the things that confine him. On screen, at least.

Couldn’t resist quoting my fanfic featuring Tom.

What do Hens do?

Gossip. Example- My grandfather had a cartoon where a rooster tells hens “I’m up for a big barnyard promotion this week! I don’t want no squawking about sexual harassment!”

Was that un-called for?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

He rebels against the things that confine him. On screen, at least.

Couldn’t resist quoting my fanfic featuring Tom.

What do Hens do?

Gossip. Example- My grandfather had a cartoon where a rooster tells hens “I’m up for a big barnyard promotion this week! I don’t want no squawking about sexual harassment!”

Was that un-called for?

Yes. After it was first called for, there was a public outcry, and it was quickly un-called for.

When does an umpire call a ball foul?

 

[Rustyoznail]

When does an umpire call a ball foul?

After a quick sniff to determine which hole it's been in.

Does rosemary have medicinal uses?

 

[AlinaX]

Her tongue certainly makes me feel better.

Why was whispering invented?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Her tongue certainly makes me feel better.

Why was whispering invented?

It originated in Victorian times as an excuse for blowing in the ear of one whom you desired.

Why would anyone whisper to a horse?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

It originated in Victorian times as an excuse for blowing in the ear of one whom you desired.

Why would anyone whisper to a horse?

A horse cock can take your breath away.

Chicken or fish?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

A horse cock can take your breath away.

Chicken or fish?

"Fuckmeat," replied the horny vegetarian.

What's the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian?

 

[MargotPayge]

What's the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian?

Vegetarians will swallow.

When do the swallows return to Capistrano?