First time Anal Fisting advice. Please?

[analgirl69]

PM Me. I'm will share some personal info on the subject...

Sorry! Can't do PMs.

 

[analgirl69]

This is my personal, non anal fisting opinion. Take that for what it is worth.

But when a woman has a baby, her vagina opens up so that baby and it's big ass head can squeeze through. So, if you want to fist up your vagina, then that's not really unsafe, because the vagina is made to expand. In fact, when women are pregnant, they like to shout it from the rooftop how much they are dilated, which is fucking disgusting, so stop it ladies. I realize that's the cervix or whatever. But that was a selfish plug (heehee, plug).

But the ass doesn't expand. Has anyone ever shit something the size of a fist? I certainly hope not. If so, stay away because that scares me. But seriously, the ass isn't made to expand all that much, from my limited knowledge of the ass. Of course you are hurting. You tried to shove a fist up there.

You seem pretty awesome and willing to try whatever. That's great. But I might suggest keeping his arm out of there. I never thought I'd warn someone of that.

Dear God.. I'd be more afraid to stick something like that up my vagina. I actually find anal sex less painful as well as toy play in the ass than in the vagina.. but I guess that's because I tore/had an episiotomy and was sown back up. We are pretty damn sure it was sown up tighter too. I never used to have these problems, by the way. I used to not really like anal sex but do it anyway. And it was the more painful one. Not anymore.
I never shouted anything when I was pregnant.. in real life, I am very private and hated that my pregnancy opened people up to asking personal questions. Lol. But just because a baby comes out of there (which, by the way, since their heads are cone shaped, are not a whole ton bigger than a fist..just saying.) doesn't mean it doesn't tear the vagina to pieces on the way out. It doesn't just slip out by any means.
Between you and me, if you asked me before I found out he liked to watch this what I thought about it, I would have said it`s bloody nuts to put a plug that big or a fist in the ass or vagina.. and why would you want to gape something? But he doesn't really judge me too much for what turns me on, so I won't judge him. At first, the idea of being able to do this for him turned me on, even though normally this wouldn't be my thing, I was excited to try anyway and a little nervous. Now, I am scared. I can't even read stuff about it when they say the potential dangers, etc.. or watch videos.. But I don't want to say I will try to do something and then not do that. It's not me. I always do what I say and I don't want to fail at something like this.

 

[analgirl69]

I don't get the whole anal/fist attraction, but hey to each their own. However,
I get that you want to please him; but you are in pain! You are also getting progressively more scared. It seems to me that you are the one with all the control in this situation. What should you do while you sort things out in your mind? You should tell him to keep his fingers, fists, arms or whatever else he can think of out of your ass. Your health is more important than his own personal porno and you said he doesn't want to hurt you so I am sure he will understand. I really think you should get yourself to a doctor and don't put anything in your ass until you get the OK.

Good luck!

I don't need a doctor at this point, I don't think. It's mostly stopped hurting- I'm just afraid to hurt again.
It sounds so easy to just not put anything in there.. he says it all the time. Let's have regular sex for a change, he will say. But some how my ass ends up back in the mix, (fingers, plug, toy, him..) hence why I don't even want to do anything since Monday- and we normally do it every day. I just am scared. We also just got a new toy in the mail and I am afraid to use it as well..

 

[analgirl69]

I am wondering if you enjoy these extreme anal play activities or if you are solely doing it to please your man? I do understand what you mean about getting turned on about things that turn him on, however, that doesn't mean you have to follow through on every fantasy that gets him hot and bothered. We all are different so just because some people can tolerate certain things being done to their bodies doesn't mean we all are capable of those same things. You have to listen to your own body and the little voice in your head or feeling in your gut telling you when something may be going to far. Another thing I think is key for most things sexually is that YOU are really wanting to do these things and they feel good to you. If you are mentally truly into it and wanting to accommodate these things into your body, it would make it easier for that to happen. Keep in mind this isn't something a lot of people could do and it wouldn't make you any less sexual or desirable if you chose to stop.

How can I answer this question the best? Do I enjoy them? Hmm. Well, if I was with someone else, I would never have the desire for it to occur.... but since he likes extreme anal play so much, I enjoy pleasing him. So in theory, yes, I enjoy them. I can orgasm with a vibrator on me, but it is all in the mind. Take the mind out of the picture and my vibrator and I doubt how much I'd even want regular anal sex.. Does that answer your question? But I think you could guess what I a implying.

Look, I know it sounds ridiculous.. but I don't want some porn star on the internet giving him something that I can't. I try so hard to be the perfect wife in every regard and would find it devastating if I couldn't fulfill his ultimate fantasy. I would feel completely useless. I don't know why I am this way, but I am. I have no problem with him watching porn.. because I will do for him what he watches.. but now all he watches is fisting, huge plugs, and all for the main goal of huge gapes... Not even just regular anal any more. So i don't know what to do. I want to be able to please him. I don't want to feel like a failure.

 

[Sistinas74]

How can I answer this question the best? Do I enjoy them? Hmm. Well, if I was with someone else, I would never have the desire for it to occur.... but since he likes extreme anal play so much, I enjoy pleasing him. So in theory, yes, I enjoy them. I can orgasm with a vibrator on me, but it is all in the mind. Take the mind out of the picture and my vibrator and I doubt how much I'd even want regular anal sex.. Does that answer your question? But I think you could guess what I a implying.

Look, I know it sounds ridiculous.. but I don't want some porn star on the internet giving him something that I can't. I try so hard to be the perfect wife in every regard and would find it devastating if I couldn't fulfill his ultimate fantasy. I would feel completely useless. I don't know why I am this way, but I am. I have no problem with him watching porn.. because I will do for him what he watches.. but now all he watches is fisting, huge plugs, and all for the main goal of huge gapes... Not even just regular anal any more. So i don't know what to do. I want to be able to please him. I don't want to feel like a failure.

May I ask how long you have been together? Since you have a little one I assume it has been a while plus you said you were married. I also wondered when you said you first "found out" about what kind of porn he was into if it was something you stumbled upon or that he shared with you. Makes me wonder what mine watches since he is overseas right now...yikes!! So far he seems content in me letting him put his willy in my ass which suits me just fine! Anyways, maybe what some people watch on porn isn't always necessarily what they want in real life. Now in this case he may have told you he wants to do it, but that is why i asked you if you "found out" about his fetish or he told you, because otherwise he may have just been content watching it. Also, was it your idea to do it or his? I totally am the same way with wanting to be the one to make my guys fantasies come true, BUT, I have said no to some things. I didn't want to partake in that while I was pregnant. His fantasies are mainly involving more people, and mine are too..but we just had a baby 3 months ago and I have gone through some emotional highs and lows! I don't feel like a bad wife for not doing those things while I was preggo, and I know he doesn't either. But he and I can always resume our fantasies and do those things when we are reunited. The issue here is that if you keep pushing these activities on your body, you may do some irreversible damage resulting in you completely being unable to have any kind of anal fun. I mean is it worth that? Plus there are so many things out there to explore sexually, there has to be something to partake in while your body heals from the recent activities. I think there has to be some moderation to how often you do this type of stuff, at least with the enemas for sure. Does he know you discuss this on Lit?

 

[patatplay]

MY wife fist me

I had a desire to be fisted and my wife and I set out to accomplish just that. We started with toys and graduated in size until I could comfortably take a rather large life like cock and then it was time to go for it. Lube lube lube! We use Ky and have had great luck with it. In a pinch we once used butter and it worked as well. She has fisted me for several years now on an average of once every 2 weeks now. No signs of permanent damage though there have been times when I did bleed a small amount. I love it and she gets pleasure from making me happy. My recommendation is that you go for it but just take your time and work up to it and then go for it. Oops have to run.....going to see if she can give me a hand....

 

[Lord Pmann]

Now, I am scared. I can't even read stuff about it when they say the potential dangers, etc.. or watch videos.. But I don't want to say I will try to do something and then not do that. It's not me. I always do what I say and I don't want to fail at something like this.

It's really okay if you fail at this. I promise. No one will fault you for not getting an arm shoved up your ass. You tried it. I mean, do you know the percentage of girls who would even consider this? It's completely not my thing at all, but your willingness to do whatever is awesome. If your husband doesn't recognize that, the he deserves a foot up his ass.

You're really a trooper. Don't be so hard on yourself for not being able to take a hand up your ass. It's not made for that.

I used to think I was a little kinky before I came to this site. But then I see the stuff that goes on here and I realize I could be on the Disney Channel.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I used to think I was a little kinky before I came to this site. But then I see the stuff that goes on here and I realize I could be on the Disney Channel.

Not with a 12" schtick you wouldn't!

I hear ya, I used to think I had a few kinks as well, before my fellow Litsters edjumakated me on what kink really is!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Not with a 12" schtick you wouldn't!

I hear ya, I used to think I had a few kinks as well, before my fellow Litsters edjumakated me on what kink really is!

I know. I thought, "I give facials to my wife, I'm crazy." Or, "I have anal sex with my wife when Haley's comment passes by and there is a solar and lunar eclipse." Then I come here and people are peeing in their wife's face and shoving arms up each other's asses. The cool thing is, most of this stuff is interesting to read.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I don't know anyone with a fist the size of a newborn's head, and I wouldn't stick either up my arse...just for the record.

http://www.2blowhards.com/archives/HulkFist3Cropped-thumb.jpg

 

[Sistinas74]

i gots lots to learn...

I am also extremely naive when it comes to so many different fetishes out there. It makes me thankful for my husbands kinky tastes, his are definitely in most guys fuckit list..
I do feel for this girl though because she is really going above and beyond to please her man. I do recall reading something about her being submissive and i think she meant they were in that lifestyle?? Tell me if I'm wrong but that makes the situation have more of a dynamic twist to it I think
But hell what do i know!!!!

 

[RuReal]

There are many people that enjoy many things. I am sure they couple will work out what they both enjoy. Too many people try to build a meter for kink, but everyone is different and there is no such thing as normal.

 

[analgirl69]

May I ask how long you have been together? Since you have a little one I assume it has been a while plus you said you were married. I also wondered when you said you first "found out" about what kind of porn he was into if it was something you stumbled upon or that he shared with you. Makes me wonder what mine watches since he is overseas right now...yikes!! So far he seems content in me letting him put his willy in my ass which suits me just fine! Anyways, maybe what some people watch on porn isn't always necessarily what they want in real life. Now in this case he may have told you he wants to do it, but that is why i asked you if you "found out" about his fetish or he told you, because otherwise he may have just been content watching it. Also, was it your idea to do it or his? I totally am the same way with wanting to be the one to make my guys fantasies come true, BUT, I have said no to some things. I didn't want to partake in that while I was pregnant. His fantasies are mainly involving more people, and mine are too..but we just had a baby 3 months ago and I have gone through some emotional highs and lows! I don't feel like a bad wife for not doing those things while I was preggo, and I know he doesn't either. But he and I can always resume our fantasies and do those things when we are reunited. The issue here is that if you keep pushing/ these activities on your body, you may do some irreversible damage resulting in you completely being unable to have any kind of anal fun. I mean is it worth that? Plus there are so many things out there to explore sexually, there has to be something to partake in while your body heals from the recent activities. I think there has to be some moderation to how often you do this type of stuff, at least with the enemas for sure. Does he know you discuss this on Lit?

We've been together almost 8 years, since we were 15. Yes, I found it on my own. He's been so standoffish since we had the baby even though (even while I was pregnant) I had anal with him basically every day. Where do you go from there? What else can I do? I give him head every day too. But it doesn't seem to matter. He just seems so half assed about everything and never initiates. I just want him to want me more. I mean, it's not the way I look or anything. And I dote on him hand and foot. I don't understand. I just wanted to make him more passionate. I don't know. I'm rambling because my friend just got here and I have to type quick. Lol. But yea, he knows I am on here. I find it depressing that he would rather me go on the computer than spend time with him half the time. Anyway, I'll answer the other questions from everyone else when I am back.

 

[Lord Pmann]

We've been together almost 8 years, since we were 15. Yes, I found it on my own. He's been so standoffish since we had the baby even though (even while I was pregnant) I had anal with him basically every day. Where do you go from there? What else can I do? I give him head every day too. But it doesn't seem to matter. He just seems so half assed about everything and never initiates. I just want him to want me more. I mean, it's not the way I look or anything. And I dote on him hand and foot. I don't understand. I just wanted to make him more passionate. I don't know. I'm rambling because my friend just got here and I have to type quick. Lol. But yea, he knows I am on here. I find it depressing that he would rather me go on the computer than spend time with him half the time. Anyway, I'll answer the other questions from everyone else when I am back.

This is really sad. You seriously don't have to do things you don't want to. You don't need to do harmful things to your body to please him. You need a fist up your ass like you need, well, a fist up your ass.

It sounds like your husband has a porn addiction or is maybe just a dick. I'm not sure. But never once have I gotten the impression that you enjoy this stuff. Maybe regular anal. But not this stuff. It's all about pleasing him. Which I get that such can be a turn on. But this is extreme.

Have you told him that he's not paying you enough attention?

 

[Sistinas74]

We've been together almost 8 years, since we were 15. Yes, I found it on my own. He's been so standoffish since we had the baby even though (even while I was pregnant) I had anal with him basically every day. Where do you go from there? What else can I do? I give him head every day too. But it doesn't seem to matter. He just seems so half assed about everything and never initiates. I just want him to want me more. I mean, it's not the way I look or anything. And I dote on him hand and foot. I don't understand. I just wanted to make him more passionate. I don't know. I'm rambling because my friend just got here and I have to type quick. Lol. But yea, he knows I am on here. I find it depressing that he would rather me go on the computer than spend time with him half the time. Anyway, I'll answer the other questions from everyone else when I am back.

Wow and you guys are still so young!! I think it's typical to have some disinterest when you settle down with one person, especially when it gets to be a number of years! Also, when you get into the more alternative stuff with sex it can make, "regular" or as they say vanilla sex harder to achieve satisfaction. I have heard of couples who have said when they started exploring other things sexually it was like opening pandora's box, because it made them want to do more and more. I really feel you are fighting a losing battle here though, because no matter what you do it will lead to more things he is wanting to do to you. Trust me I do get the whole self sacrificing efforts, but if you look at the big picture, you have to consider it may never be enough. Even if we as women did every single thing these guys watched on porn, that isn't going to make them want to stop watching it, he is still going to want to watch porn. It's just a variety thing, be glad he is "watching" other women do things than actually out doing it with other women in reality. I urge you to explore other things, just to spare your body. I think you should bring up some of YOUR fantasies and you two should play with that for a while. That in itself may spark his interest and distract him from wanting to focus solely on this one activity.

 

[analgirl69]

http://www.2blowhards.com/archives/HulkFist3Cropped-thumb.jpg

Hah! My old boss had one of those. Used it in an interview....lol.

 

[analgirl69]

I don't know anyone with a fist the size of a newborn's head, and I wouldn't stick either up my arse...just for the record.

The average baby's head when they come out is 12-14 inches circumference or something like that. The skull isn't fused shut yet so the plates overlap and become cone shaped. They really are not that much bigger. Have you measured your fist? Can't remember exactly how big his fist was. But it was close to that. Something like 11? 12?

 

[analgirl69]

It's really okay if you fail at this. I promise. No one will fault you for not getting an arm shoved up your ass. You tried it. I mean, do you know the percentage of girls who would even consider this? It's completely not my thing at all, but your willingness to do whatever is awesome. If your husband doesn't recognize that, the he deserves a foot up his ass.

You're really a trooper. Don't be so hard on yourself for not being able to take a hand up your ass. It's not made for that.

I used to think I was a little kinky before I came to this site. But then I see the stuff that goes on here and I realize I could be on the Disney Channel.

He thinks I need more practice.. I dunno. He isn't trying to make me. But I don't want him to be super disappointed. And I don't want to not be able to give him what I know he really wants. So I don't know what to do.
Yes... I thought I was kinky and he was vanilla. He used to be... don't know when that changed.

 

[analgirl69]

I am also extremely naive when it comes to so many different fetishes out there. It makes me thankful for my husbands kinky tastes, his are definitely in most guys fuckit list..
I do feel for this girl though because she is really going above and beyond to please her man. I do recall reading something about her being submissive and i think she meant they were in that lifestyle?? Tell me if I'm wrong but that makes the situation have more of a dynamic twist to it I think
But hell what do i know!!!!

No, we aren't in that type of relationship. I am turned on by being submissive (really wish I wasn't) but he doesn't like to be dominating. I like the idea of submission because, honestly, he is very dispassionate and I really just want to be..I don't know. Wanted? Guys look at me all the time..I am attractive, apparently.. what is my husband's problem? I just want to feel wanted. So I have wild fantasies of him being super aggressive and just having to have me. Like he used to. Before I got pregnant and he knew for sure now no one else could ever have take me.

I thought being able to do this would maybe inspire him to be more passionate. I like to please him. I do everything, in and out of the bedroom, to do so. And I mean everything. I've taken every suggestion I have ever heard a guy say he wish he had and tried to make it reality. But it seems like I found the one man in the world who could care less. :/ So do I want to fail at the one thing that may actually wake him out of his slumber? No. I really, really don't.

 

[analgirl69]

This is really sad. You seriously don't have to do things you don't want to. You don't need to do harmful things to your body to please him. You need a fist up your ass like you need, well, a fist up your ass.

It sounds like your husband has a porn addiction or is maybe just a dick. I'm not sure. But never once have I gotten the impression that you enjoy this stuff. Maybe regular anal. But not this stuff. It's all about pleasing him. Which I get that such can be a turn on. But this is extreme.

Have you told him that he's not paying you enough attention?

I don't think he has a porn addiction. Minus this last week (for the first time in eons we have gone a week without anything sexual) we usually have sex almost every day. But if I never brought it up (exhibit A- this last week..he mentioned it briefly once but I am just too messed right now so I changed the subject for the first time) he'd almost never ask for sex. But he doesn't go and watch porn. I mean he does, sometimes. Sometimes it feels like he would rather so there is no effort.. But to be honest he just doesn't want to watch porn that often or have sex and he complains that we have sex that much- even though when we do, it's all about him. I don't get it.
He's not a dick. He's just.. I don't know. Lazy. So I want to try what really gets him going to wake him up.. I just didn't know it would be so hard and I would be so scared to actually complete it.
Anal? Yea, as long as I have a vibrator I enjoy it. I used to hate it until he let me use one. Now I like it. Ever since I got pregnant it has become our regular though.. we almost never have exclusively vaginal sex without any anal play but very frequently have exclusively anal action. Which... bothers me that this has become normal to me. Honestly, regular sex is kind of ruined for me now. It doesn't feel like real sex. How effed is that? But it's true. Because I know he likes how regular feels and, minus the first few minutes of anal, he likes it better, but it's not kinky. I know, because I now share the sentiment (maybe because he did first..) that sex isn't kinky enough or somehow sexual enough. And I'd rather just please him and do what I know really turns him on. This stuff? No. I hate it. The idea of pleasing him turns me on so the idea of doing it turned me on at first. But take that away and I hate it. It turns my stomach and I am afraid of the next time we have sex because even if he says we will have regular sex somehow my ass will come into play... and I am afraid I am going to get hurt, no matter how gentle he has tried to be.

 

[analgirl69]

Wow and you guys are still so young!! I think it's typical to have some disinterest when you settle down with one person, especially when it gets to be a number of years! Also, when you get into the more alternative stuff with sex it can make, "regular" or as they say vanilla sex harder to achieve satisfaction. I have heard of couples who have said when they started exploring other things sexually it was like opening pandora's box, because it made them want to do more and more. I really feel you are fighting a losing battle here though, because no matter what you do it will lead to more things he is wanting to do to you. Trust me I do get the whole self sacrificing efforts, but if you look at the big picture, you have to consider it may never be enough. Even if we as women did every single thing these guys watched on porn, that isn't going to make them want to stop watching it, he is still going to want to watch porn. It's just a variety thing, be glad he is "watching" other women do things than actually out doing it with other women in reality. I urge you to explore other things, just to spare your body. I think you should bring up some of YOUR fantasies and you two should play with that for a while. That in itself may spark his interest and distract him from wanting to focus solely on this one activity.

He doesn't care about my fantasies (even though he says he does- he barely tries them).. he thinks mine are extreme... but the truth is, all I really really want is someone who wants me as much as I want them. And it's so frustrating to know I could have that with someone else in a minute...with a million times less effort.... but I love him to death.
Well, he always orgasms during regular sex.. but I get bored because he is straight faced the whole time and makes no noise pretty much whatsoever. But he likes me to make noise.. so I feel awkward and like a one person symphony. It's frustrating. So it makes me think I don't like regular sex. I thought for a while maybe it was me who wanted anal so bad.. until we had really passionate sex (regular) one day and I actually orgasmed for the first time in a year (granted, we were talking about how we were about to switch to anal play, but he was still vocal and it threw me over. And I realized how much more I liked it- as long as he isn't an inactive participant.
I don't care about porn.. in theory. I never tell him not to watch it. I even say I'll watch it with him. What I don't like is looking to other women for something I can't give him.. I don't know how to explain it. When I watch porn, it's to watch people do it and I imagine doing it with him.. I'm not checking out any of the actors. It just makes me feel so self conscious. God, especially when I was pregnant and felt like a beach ball. I don't want some other women fulfilling a need my husband has. That's my job. I don't spend all my time and effort trying to be as close to perfect as I can to, in the end, have someone who's not even real be the one who satisfies him, while I can't. Again, I don't care about porn. In theory. I guess I wouldn't care if I didn't try so hard in everything I do.. not just sex.. but I do, so to know you give everything your all, there is nothing more you can do, and still not satisfy someone... it's devastating.

 

[analgirl69]

Sorry for the long replies... it's been a hard year since I got pregnant and now it's been an even harder week. It's just getting me down. I never thought it would get to the point where I would be avoiding my husband. But I am. And now I'm going to try to go to bed.

 

[RuReal]

Sorry for the long replies... it's been a hard year since I got pregnant and now it's been an even harder week. It's just getting me down. I never thought it would get to the point where I would be avoiding my husband. But I am. And now I'm going to try to go to bed.

Having a child seems to add a great deal of stress to a relationship and redefines the interaction between the couple. Maybe you both need some help with your relationship. Most jobs have have some built in support structure a number to call for assistance maybe you both should use the service. People on here will have a great deal to say, but I would say that most are not qualified to help. Normally referred to as an EPP program if you are off from work I think you would still have access to yours and your husband should have access to his.

R

 

[Lord Pmann]

And also......have a hug, I feel like you could use one. http://smiliesftw.com/x/glomp.gif

I think she could use a a hug for sure. Man, this is a bad situation.

I'll give you a guy's perspective.

First, you sound like an amazing partner. One of the most willing and giving people I've ever heard on this site. Most guys would die to have a partner like you. And you seem really sweet too.

Second, your desire to please him is clouding your judgment. Really, asking to have a fist up your ass is not a reasonable request. There are certain things with which I think people indulge their partners, that may not be their favourite. But they are usually simple and harmless. What he is asking you to do is potentially dangerous. And it hurts you. He shouldn't like seeing you hurt. Which he probably doesn't. But, he's pretty selfish if he thinks you need practice.

Third, porn is different for guys than girls. Most of us can watch it with a relatively healthy attitude. But, It does desensitize us. I mean, I don't know how Playboy even exists anymore. I really don't. I remember the first time I ever saw porn, it was pretty normal, straight laced stuff. But now, that wouldn't even make my willy move. If your husband is watching anal fisting porn, I promise you, he looks at or has looked at a lot of porn. You don't go from dick to fist overnight. I really venture to say that your husband has a porn interest far deeper than you realize. It does desensitize you to things.

Again, you need to tell him you don't feel wanted. There are a million guys who would kill for a willing partner like you. And your desire to be wanted is totally justified. It's normal and healthy. It's super upsetting to see that you give him everything he wants and he can't even bother to make a noise?? I think he is objectifying you. He's not treating you like his wife, but a sex doll. You really need to face this issue and confront it.

 

[analgirl69]

Having a child seems to add a great deal of stress to a relationship and redefines the interaction between the couple. Maybe you both need some help with your relationship. Most jobs have have some built in support structure a number to call for assistance maybe you both should use the service. People on here will have a great deal to say, but I would say that most are not qualified to help. Normally referred to as an EPP program if you are off from work I think you would still have access to yours and your husband should have access to his.

R

His line of work has nothing. And I am on maternity leave. :/
The truth is, I am locked away 24/7 with a baby and have basically no one to talk to in general, let alone about this.