Good Girl!

[intothewoods]

Don't let being married with kids define you. I'm about to celebrate my 20th anniversary with Daddy, and we have a three year old grandson... LOL. It's not about that, it's about your relationship dynamics and how you define them for yourself. Not how someone elses relationship works for them.

If it works for you then be happy about that and don't worry about what others think. You are the one that has to live your life not them.

Well, it does define me, but it's not the whole story. Er, well aside from the married part at the moment! I'm all these different things - my career, my home life, my love life, etc. But I just want to be me. I have a constant need to make it all work together, even if sometimes it's separate! I know it sounds kind of nuts but that's how my brain works. I want it all to make sense in some way.

But I really do get where cat is coming from, and think I would feel the exact same way in the circumstances I described. The "good girl" thing is our playtime thing, but when we talk about the things we want as husband and wife, it takes on a different tone. It may sound forced, but it's really not. We seem to go in and out of bedroom/intimate mode and real world (whatever that means) absolutely naturally. Whodathunk it? It just works. Thank god.

 

[intothewoods]

I think it is a valid thing to think about, but also as Daddyslilpet says, it doesn't have to define you. I am someone who thrives of plenty of time alone...F is not, so there are sometimes tense moments and there are moments when he appreciates it and gives me some space, though often not without a comment. It is a reason why I remained single so long after my divorce. I don't think any 2 people fit together so perfectly that there are never tense moments, add children and everyday life and it increases the possibility for bumps. Dynamics and communication both ways can make a huge difference.

Catalina

I think I'm getting to a point where I feel pretty comfortable in my kink and what I want from a relationship. It wasn't that long ago that I was posting almost daily here - how can I be a mom and a submissive! I really couldn't wrap my head around it. And I think I needed to accept that I am who I am and even if everyone kinky does it differently, that's okay.

I know I often sound overly cautious and maybe even conservative on this board, but I came from a place of self-repression before I was kinky. It's been a struggle to remind myself I'm still me.

But the good news is I'm really happy. And I don't think I've been able to really say that since I started posting here, frankly. I mean, I'd be happy for a couple of days, and then bam - my ex hurts my feelings, or a worry over my kid and how he's doing with the split - and I'm in tears and distraught for days. But I had therapy today and for the second time in a row I said, things are good! But it has been about a year since the official separation, and my divorce should be final this summer, so I think it's par for the course. You can't take a pill and fix it. It takes time.

Anyway, just musing and happy today...

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I go weak in the knees for the phrase "good girl." Today, Mister Man said I earned myself a gold star, and I got so excited! So I figure 5 gold stars should get me something, right? I mean, that's how it works. He replied, yes, a play date with me at a party. Hurrah!

In my mind, there is nothing as satisfying as a gold star. Well, except 5 gold stars, apparently.

It just all reminds me of happy times and being the favorite. Apples for the teacher, new school clothes. I love channeling my inner Hermione.

Does anyone else like the good girl/boy thing?

"Good girl" is a great thing to hear. Something about the praise, adoration, and pride behind it is fulfilling and at times...arousing. Every time I've heard it directed at me, it's almost as if there's a hot glow that starts in the pit of my stomach and spreads outward from there. It's very difficult to describe the feelings that accompany that particular phrase...

ETA: Sorry...I know I don't typically post here, but someone I'm close to did, and the thread topic piqued my interest. Thanks for letting me invade anyway.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who makes comments about how they manage all of this and can make it work around all the "normal" things in their lives. Especially as Gabe and I are slowly moving in that direction. It gives me hope that it's possible. It gives me good information on things to try, or not. It helps me find the courage within myself to accept who I am. On humble knees, I say thank you. Especially to the man who calls me his good little girl.

 

[FuckMeEyes]

I guess I might be a hypocrite. The thought of being called a good boy makes me cringe, but I say good girl as if it's a natural phrase. It's been interesting reading everyone's opinion of the phrase. Good to know some insight of the ways it's been received from me.

 

[phantom_goddess]

when he says "good girl" it makes me feel cherished, and like a pet. and glad that i pleased him.

 

[myinnerslut]

i cant believe i hadt posted on this thread previously.


i love being told i am a good girl.

its aprroval. its that glowy feeling that makes everything worth it. it admiration. its thanks. its adknowledgement. its the thing i work for. its recogniztion that i did something difficult or did something well.

its a whole bundle of good things packed into two words.

 

[TenJed69]

Here's a question for all: what interesting things have you done in order to be called a good girl, or what things has your sub done for you to call them a good girl?

 

[Homburg]

I guess I might be a hypocrite. The thought of being called a good boy makes me cringe, but I say good girl as if it's a natural phrase. It's been interesting reading everyone's opinion of the phrase. Good to know some insight of the ways it's been received from me.

Yup. I hate being called "boy" in pretty much any form. My grandfather used to call my dad that, even when my dad was in his 40's, and the contempt in that term was constant. I hated the old bastard for that. I'm glad the son of a bitch died well before I got out of my teens.

The sick part is that I hear myself saying that to my sons when I'm irritated with them. I don't say it with the contempt that the old man used, but it still makes me feel bad when I realise it.

Yet girl has no such negative connotations, and no contempt whatsoever. It is a term of endearment. I'm a big ole sexist hypocrite.

 

[EmpressFi]

Yup. I hate being called "boy" in pretty much any form. My grandfather used to call my dad that, even when my dad was in his 40's, and the contempt in that term was constant. I hated the old bastard for that. I'm glad the son of a bitch died well before I got out of my teens.

The sick part is that I hear myself saying that to my sons when I'm irritated with them. I don't say it with the contempt that the old man used, but it still makes me feel bad when I realise it.

Yet girl has no such negative connotations, and no contempt whatsoever. It is a term of endearment. I'm a big ole sexist hypocrite.

Maybe.. but we still love ya

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

I love it.









That's all, no more. Just wanted to say it.

 

[faeriefire]

It warms me, makes me feel like I'm glowing from the inside out when I receive praise. Especially if it comes after something I wasn't sure about but tried anyway, or something that was challenging for me. I've become partial to 'dear' and 'darling' but only from guys. Women have tried using endearments with me (treat me like a cute creampuff why dontcha grrr) and it has to stop right away or we have issues lol. Some people also try to shorten my name. It's annoying. There is a very short list of people allowed to call me by anything other than my full name. For me there has to be intimacy, respect, and some time before I truly believe an endearment is a compliment. But when I know it is mmmmm. Makes me feel all gooey inside and out

 

[myinnerslut]

Maybe.. but we still love ya

i was gonna say that

 

[the_pet]

...the girl part...eh, it's ok but i'm far from a little girl nor do i act like one or EVER call SO Daddy so that name really doesn't fit me, i just mainly like the "good" word put before whatever name he's calling me like...

good cumslut
good pet

what a "good hungry slut" you are


pet

 

[Blase]

Yet girl has no such negative connotations, and no contempt whatsoever. It is a term of endearment. I'm a big ole sexist hypocrite.

Contempt, no. Condescension, yes. In the context of play, I see calling my sub a girl as a definite statement of the superiority of my position.

But I guess I've mostly played with women who have compatible kinks because they seem to love it. Mind you, I'm not like that in ordinary interactions and my girls - er, subs - know it.

But, in the heat pf play, when I tell her that this is what she's for and that she's a good girl... I seldom get a stereotypically feminist reaction.

 

[needalick]

i love being told im a good girl ...........whispered in my ear as im stroked

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

...the girl part...eh, it's ok but i'm far from a little girl nor do i act like one or EVER call SO Daddy so that name really doesn't fit me, i just mainly like the "good" word put before whatever name he's calling me like...

good cumslut
good pet

what a "good hungry slut" you are

pet

Contempt, no. Condescension, yes. In the context of play, I see calling my sub a girl as a definite statement of the superiority of my position.

But I guess I've mostly played with women who have compatible kinks because they seem to love it. Mind you, I'm not like that in ordinary interactions and my girls - er, subs - know it.

But, in the heat pf play, when I tell her that this is what she's for and that she's a good girl... I seldom get a stereotypically feminist reaction.

Yum ... i agree completely!

 

[needalick]

this thread has really got me thinking....and rather damp ....pm me !

 

[PenIsMightier1]

I love telling her when she has served me well. And she loves it too.

I know she knows that I am always proud of her, but just sometimes its good to hear it out loud.

For her to know that even though I've been beating her, using her, whatever, that I still value her

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

I love telling her when she has served me well. And she loves it too.

I know she knows that I am always proud of her, but just sometimes its good to hear it out loud.

For her to know that even though I've been beating her, using her, whatever, that I still value her

And sometimes her past might make her insecure about how well she serves you or her value to you

 

[PenIsMightier1]

And sometimes her past might make her insecure about how well she serves you or her value to you

I value her more than anything.

 

[intothewoods]

That was kinda fun to read.

 

[Keroin]

That was kinda fun to read.

Trip down memory lane?

 

[intothewoods]

Trip down memory lane?

Yep, I'm now married to Mister Man, with twelve kids. Ok, give or take a few. And I still am conscious of balancing motherhood with personal/sexual identity. Still happy!

I'm not so into the good girl thing anymore though. He's not so into it, so I guess I just sort of forgot it.

 

[kimuk]

Good girl - it used to send shivers up m spine